Ranma was rudely awoken by being hit on the forehead with something hard. The blow was not hard enough to do any damage and somewhere in his sleep addled brain he remembered being woken up like this before. As a result he woke up slowly and blearily.
"Not this morning ya old mummy" he muttered. There were a few moments of silence during which his brain added up what he had just said. The penny dropped, Ranma bolted upright. Sitting there on the end of his bed, illuminated by was a three-foot high, shrivelled creature that may once have been a woman. She was wearing green robes and clutching a gnarled stick, the weapon used to hit him, again.
"Granny?" he asked surprise warring with confusion.
"Son in law," she replied, smirking. "You might want to be a little quieter, in case you wake your new wife."
"WHAT THE" he started, then stopped, looked at Nabiki and restarted more quietly. "What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered.
"Can't an old woman visit her family?" she whispered back, amused by his confusion.
"I don't know, what's-
"How about we do this over there?" she told him, pointing at the couch set on the other side of the room. He nodded and followed. She pogo-ed silently over to the settee and turned to see him with that same smile back on her face. He stopped looked down at himself, blushed and pulled a robe on.
Soon the pair were ensconced on the comfy seats at the low morning table. It was just dawning outside so grey light was beginning to filter in through the windows. The old mummy had managed to produce a tea cup and two cups. While she was pouring Ranma took the time to sort his head out a bit. With a shake of his head and a big yawn he finally admitted defeat, he had no idea what she was doing here.
"Still not worked it out Son-in-law?" she asked, handing him a cup.
"Nope" he admitted, taking a sip and leaning back to savour the taste.
"You met the Hibiki boy today," she said. He nodded without opening his eyes. "Did you notice anything odd?" she asked.
"He knew the exploding rock thingy" he replied, now looking at her intently.
"Yes and where did he learn it?"
"He claimed you taught him" Ranma replied.
"Did I?" she asked.
"No, no way," Ranma replied after a moments thought, "Its an Amazon secret, there ain't no way you'd teach an idiot like him."
"So why does he think I did?" she asked.
"I don't know" Ranma said, exasperated, "Its early, I'm tired, and I'm not sure I give a fu-" she cut him off with a belt on the head.
"Some-one taught him the technique, claiming to be me," Cologne said.
"Why would they do that" Ranma asked trying to sound as if he cared.
"They say I have no heir" the woman replied. Ranma favoured her with a blank stare. "Without an heir to protect I am a wild card, no family no restraints."
"Ah" Ranma said, as if that explained everything.
"So imagine my surprise when in the middle of chasing down the boy I hear that my Son-in law is in town and that he has an heir with him," she said. Ranma was silent for a moment then coughed his tea out across the room.
"You don't mean.."
"Of course I do pup," she replied. "Little Kimiko is an Amazon of my line." Ranma just stuttered flabbergasted. "When you married Xian you became my son, when you married the Tendo girl she became my daughter and when you had Kimiko you provided my line with its scion."
"Granny," Ranma said with an edge creeping into his voice, "You are not taking my kid!"
"Of course I'm not son" she laughed, grinning her ghoulish smile, "It is far too much fun scaring the council, and I know I can trust you to bring her up properly."
"You mean bring her up like Xian," Ranma replied, warily.
"Exactly," Cologne agreed, " bring her up strong, independent and capable."
"I don't get it Granny," Ranma said "Why are you here?"
"Truthfully?" she asked, he nodded. "I miss Xian, I loved her very much." She added with real emotion.
"And when you heard that I had married again you wanted to check I wasn't dishonouring her memory?" Ranma guessed.
"Something like that," Cologne agreed, "and I have a weakness for babies."
"Fried or boiled?" Ranma asked, she hit him.
"Its good to see you son" she said.
"And you granny," he replied.
"And I like your wife," she added. "Just what you need to keep you in line."
"What does that mean" Ranma asked.
"Somebody smarter than you," she replied smiling, "not that that's hard." She added.
"Hey!" he retorted, but he was smiling.
"Does she know about Xian?" Cologne asked, a little more seriously.
"Yes, I do" Said Nabiki from the bed, "And I am trying to sleep." She sat up and added "Ranma if you want to catch up with Chinese undead please take it elsewhere."
"Oh no," Cologne disagreed, "I can't take your sperm bank away when the kid is actually doing a good job." Nabiki looked at her confused.
"Take the idiot back to bed and keep practising," Cologne added, "the more Amazons you two can make the better," then she turned back to Ranma "bring her to see the village sometime" she added quietly. With that Cologne bounded up onto her stick and through an open window.
"Ranma you will explain" Nabiki told him, "But now sleep."
-
-
"So Xian and I were kicking about the base waiting for a call out when she tells me we're married. As you can imagine I was more than a little taken aback, I mean as far as I knew we were not even engaged but hey what would I know." Ranma and Nabiki were sitting on the couch, dressed in bathrobes, with her leaning against him, using him as a pillow. They had eaten breakfast and fed the baby, who was now happily being bounced on Nabiki's chest. "Are you sure you wanna hear this" he asked uncertainly.
"Yes I am anata" she replied. "She was a big part of your life and that's not going to change just because I'm in it. And no I'm not going to get jealous."
"Okay, if you're sure." Ranma replied still not sure himself."
"So she told you that you were married." Nabiki prompted.
"Yeah," Ranma began "She made me er- 'persuade her' to tell me," he continued with a uncomfortable blush, "an then explained that her tribe are a bit more 'free' with their marriages. Apparently since the day I first beat her I was sort of engaged to her, and he moment she found out I was a guy she didn't really have a choice but to marry me."
"That seems a little weird" Nabiki said.
"Yeah well it was a real weird time in my life ya know." Ranma explained. "Anyway all that remained was for her to make it official, which she did that first time in the gym."
"When she pulled your shorts off and raped the shit out of you" Nabiki snickered.
"Hey, it wasn't like that" Ranma protested, "Okay, maybe it was but you still shouldn't say things like that in font of Kimi." She just blew a raspberry.
"Cologne I didn't meet till after Xian died" Ranma said, resuming the story. "I was injured at the time, took a mauling in the mission beforehand and so I wan't there to stop her." Nabiki reached over and squeezed his hand. "Long time ago" he said, and neither of them really believed it. "Any way Jack got a letter back from Cologne asking for Xian's body to be repatriated, an I volunteered.
"I flew out to the village in a jet-copter, with Xian's body in a chest next to me, I think those were some of the worst hours of my life. But they did give me time to say goodbye ya know" he said getting quieter. She squeezed his hand again.
"In the village they were none too impressed with our entrance, apparently we had landed on somebody's herb garden, and they really didn't want to meet gun toting foreigners very much, especially since we were all men." Ranma continued.
"The whole men are only good for one thing rap?" Nabiki asked.
"Yep, and apparently we only get that right half the time," Ranma agreed. "Well Granny guessed who I was straight away, but I had a little more trouble convincing some of the others."
"Didn't they remember you from the first time you were there?" Nabiki asked, confused.
"I wasn't er looking the same at the time," Ranma said, " ANYway" he continued, glossing as fast as he could, "After I er showed them I was the same person they accepted that I was Xian's partner and let me formally speak to the people in charge, namely Cologne."
"She's important there then?" Nabiki asked.
"Yeah she's kinda president-ess or something. You know head ghoul." Ranma replied and Nabiki nodded. "So I tell them that I am there to deliver Xian's body home and they all do this wailing thing, scared the crap outa me."
"You?" Nabiki asked.
"Hey last time I was in town they decided they wanted to kill me." He explained.
"Kiss of death" Nabiki deduced.
"Yeah, so you can imagine how I'm feeling as Cologne walks up and kisses me. My first reaction was to think she was trying the kiss of death. Then I remembered that men get the kiss of marriage instead, not that was any better, I mean you saw Cologne. So I'm ready to bolt when she says 'Thank-you son' and I swear you could hear the village let out its breath."
"Huh?" interrupted Nabiki.
"Seems that she had the right to make me accompany Xian into the afterlife or even keep me as some sorta male concubine, but didn't cuz o' what Xian had told her about me in her letters.
"I stayed there for a week while I convalesced and they prepeared for Xian's funeral and Cologne and I spent most of that time talking. We talked about everything we could think of, but it always came back to her ya know. I had never really realised how important Xian was in her village till I stayed there"
"She must have thought a lot of you," Nabiki said
"Xian?"
"Yes," Nabiki replied
" Yeah we were quite an item," Ranma said, "like paired blades you know"
"I think so" said Nabiki quietly.
"But you na me" Ranma said hurriedly "we're something special too. Like er… a coin" he finished
"Two sides of?"
"Uh huh" he agreed.
"Corny but nice effort," Nabiki said squeezing his hand again "and I always did have a weakness for metaphors involving money." She got up, handed him their baby and headed for the shower.
"Oh and Ranma," she said, stopping in the doorway, "don't think I missed you hiding something. One day I hope you will trust me enough to tell me."
As she shut the door Ranma turned to Kimiko, "oops, daddy messed up again didn't he? Yes he did. Yes he did!" he finished in a baby voice.
-
-
Ranma gave her a little while and then followed her in, baby on his hip. She was just slipping into the bath. It was the one fixture she had insisted on from their hotel and had come at quite a premium, but if it meant he didn't have to stay near his pops Ranma was more than willing to pay.
He sat down on the edge of the bath, took a moment to check her out and then looked her in the eyes.
"Nabs its not that I don't trust you" he began, only to be interrupted.
"Its okay Anata, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you," Nabiki said, "I know you well enough to know you wouldn't be hiding anything that would hurt us, I ws just slipping into spy mode, sorry."
"Nabs, its okay." Ranma said, very relieved. "You really should know, its just, well a little bit hard to believe and well sorta embarrassing," he finished. Nabiki's face lit up, now she was really intrigued. "Do you remember asking me about Ranko?" he asked.
-
A/N just a quick point that has irked me, some-one sent me a mail complaining about my spelling. Specifically they were complaining about my use of the word 'Commando,' once and for all I would like to point out. A commando is a GROUP of solidiers, it has also become used to describe an individual member of that group but I am not being 'stupid' when I use the phrase Alpha Commando, nor when I describe 'the commando' doing something as a group action. So please no more on that, thanks.
As for everybody else. Since I am doing a note I'll just say thanks for your help and thanks for reading. The reviews you send do make a difference and I hope you are noticing an improvement or two as I go on.