The Digimon Reunion
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Disclaimer: Refer to Ch. 1 or 2 to see . . .
A/N: Jeez, summer is taking it's toll on my mind. So bored . . . At least I got fanfics and comics to do. ;;
Summary: A whole cast reunion of the members of Digimon from Season 1 through 4! We all miss them but now, they return as together! Hope Cyberdramon doesn't start another revolution like the last time at a party . . . ;;;
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Chapter Nine: "Less Lip & More Zip!"
Beelzemon was running through the crowd of guests with Ryo and Cyberdramon tagging along with him. They had to conceal themselves from that mad woman Leblanc before she finds them and hacks Beelzemon's head off with that giant fan of hers! This isn't the first time Beelzemon was threatened by a woman to get something chopped off of him . . . Beelzemon was tripping and lunging through the crowd when he happens to appear in front one particular group.
"Hey guys! It's Beelzemon! He's back!" Puppetmon shouted to the others.
"Yeah, and fully clothed too! Hahaha," Myothismon laughed.
"Haha, thought that was very funny to leave me behind the house in the bushes in my birthday suit while you guys run off with my clothes?!" said Beelzemon, putting both hands on his hips.
"Oh yes, it got us liven up all right!" LadyDevimon giggled.
"Could've had the decency to at least leave my clothes in one pile," said Beelzemon. "I had to run around the whole perimeter looking for my clothes! I probably mentally scarred about a dozen until I finally found my pants! But for some reason I haven't found my boxers . . ."
"I have them," said Etemon, as he held up the white boxers with hearts on them. Like the monkey he is, he wore it on his head. "Nice boxers, baby."
"Give me that!" Beelzemon snatched back his underwear and stuffed it away into his pants. "Should've took a picture. It'll last longer!"
"But like you said, it'll scar people when they see it," Devimon evilly chuckled.
"Heh, yeah laugh it up you piece of crap you little . . ."
"Beelzemon, come on! We gotta hide somewhere now," Ryo said in a warning tone. "Move it before you lose something when that woman comes by and finds you!"
"Oh right," Beelzemon remembered, as he was about to turn around and follow Ryo. He then came back to face Myothismon and said, "I'll be back for you and your little bats too . . ."
"Oooooh, I'm so scared!" Myothismon quivered and laughed. "What are you gonna do? Mentally scar us?"
"CRACK!"
"CRASH!"
Myothismon's head was now stuck in the ceiling while he wiggled and struggled up in the air. Beelzemon was rubbing his sore fist from performing that powerful uppercut on the bloody vampire. "Ooooh, that smarts But damn was it worth it!" he grinned toothily. "So, anyone wanna knuckle sandwich?"
All the other dark and evil Digimon backed away in fear of Beelzemon's wrath. "Ha! thought so! I'm king of ALL of you! Bow to me and my mighty--Gah!"
"Okay, let's go!" Cyberdramon grabbed Beelzemon and threw the demon over his shoulders and followed Ryo through the crowd trying to look inconspicuous as possible . . . If it is possible when you're a dragon carrying a demon on your shoulders.
"Hey! They were about to face my mighty wrath you galoot!" said Beelzemon. "I was gonna be king of the evil digimon!"
"Suuuuure you were," Cyberdramon grunted sarcastically.
"That monst'r is somevhere 'ere," Leblanc looked over the crowd while atop the stairs. "Vhere iz he . . ."
She then spotted a large black dragon running through the crowd with a man on his shoulders following a young boy. She then recognized the man as Beelzemon and she immediately got her anger back together. "Ah, there you are, my little canary . . ."
She pulled her arm back with the fan in her grip and was ready to throw it like a large boomerang. She wind her arm and the fan swooshed through the air and above people's heads at Beelzemon.
"Agh! Incoming giant fan! Duck!" Beelzemon said in alarm.
Ryo jumped to the floors and so did Cyberdramon, crushing Beelzemon's face with his weight ("Ow! Not the face!") while the guests and Digimon around them did so too.
"Dear lord we're all gonna die!!!" a Garbagemon screamed.
"That's what they all say," said a Gorillamon.
"Aaah!" Beelzemon screamed. "Hey, let me down, will ya, bud? I'll settle this score then."
"How?" Cyberdramon asked.
"I dunno. I'll, uh, improvise! Yeah! Improvise!"
"Your funeral but we're jumping in when we think we should . . ."
Beelzemon pulled out of Cyberdramon's grasped and took a fighting stance, ready to fight the lady. Leblanc came running up finally and it was a showdown. All the guests around them thought this was part of the entertainment of the party. They watched intently, waiting for one of them to make a move.
"Okay, lady, let ask you one thing before I beat the crap out of you," Beelzemon growled.
"And what iz dat, you Digimon?" she asked.
Beelzemon took a deep breathe before asking this question. " . . . Are you a woman?"
"What?"
"Are you a woman?"
"What iz it are joo azking??" she asked, enraged by Beelzemon's question.
"Well, just to be sure 'cause I don't wanna hit a girl and all . . ." Beelzemon replied, scratching the back of his neck. "Were you a man and had a sex-change? I'm just wondering because if you did, that be a whole different story and I would be pounding you to the ground now."
"Beelzemon, chivalry is pretty much dead," Cyberdramon called out from the side-lines. "Knock her off on her ass!"
"CRASH!"
"BOOM!"
"CRACK!"
"Whoa, I didn't know you can do that," Ryo said in disbelief. "Think he's okay?"
"Are you kidding? He kissed the tarmac big time!" Cyberdramon pointed out. "Beelzemon wake up!"
Beelzemon was face down on the ground with his face and body imprinting the floor. Before that, Beelzemon was about to charge in and slash with his claws when he suddenly realized his whole body was lifted, a leg swiftly heel-dropped him on the back, he was thrown into the wall, and landed on the ground with a crack when she up sided him with her fan like a police baton into the jaw as he laid there on the ground dazed.
"I taste . . . blood. Wait a minnit, she made me bleed!" Beelzemon snarled. "No one makes Beelzemon bleeds."
"Uh-oh."
"That's it bitch! I'll rip that pretty face off of your head and shove it all the way up your--!!"
"CRACK! SWOOSH!"
"Beelzemon!"
"Agh! Blood! Call the police!"
"Ooooh, another knuckle sandwich for the lady, huh? You want some more of this? Huh?!" Beelzemon managed to squeaked through the throbbing pain clenched between his teeth. He had throw another knuckle sandwich that night and now it smarts. Leblanc was tossed into the buffet table and was covered in red all over her face.
Cyberdramon came and picked up Beelzemon to his feet. "You really knocked her off her butt! She's bleeding on the face like heck."
"No, Beelzemon just knocked her into the hot dog buffet table. I think that's chili along with ketchup on her face," Ryo thought.
Leblanc was rousing again, holding her head in dizziness as she managed to get off the table. "Oh, that monst'r! He shall pay for zis! My dress iz dry clean on'y!"
"Come on, let's make a run for it!" Ryo ordered.
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In the huge entertainment room, all was quiet and still and not a single peep was heard. Watching Gatomon play all night on Dance Dance Revolution had gotten boring and they fell asleep. Even Suzie with her abundance of energy has finally drained. Lopmon slept next to her and waited.
"Great, everyone is taking a cat nap," Gatomon sighed. "How can you sleep during a party in a mansion like this? Oh well, I'm gonna go find Kari."
These guys need to get out more often and go see what's happening around them. Like finding out what happened between the two heart broken lovers in a certain closet . . . cough If you readers can remember that far.
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"Arukenimon, please! Let me give you a kiss . . . " Mummymon smooched. "Pretty please . . . ?"
"No," she stated.
"Awww, why not?! I love you so much I'll prove my love to you," Mummymon insisted. "What'll make you love me?"
"You jumping off a cliff face first without a bungee cord," Arukenimon replied. "That would really turn me on."
"Ooh! Why didn't you tell me in the first place?" Mummymon grinned heartily as he ran off to find a cliff.
"If I knew he was this dumb I would've said that a long time ago. Hmm, I'm bored now. I'll go steal candy from a baby now."
Oops, not these two. My bad. These two on the next line after this.
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"Kari! I'm sorry! I said I'm sorry! I didn't know!" TK apologized for the hundredth time. "I meant to kiss you!"
"But you enjoyed that girl kissing you I bet," she hissed, marching away.
"No I didn't! Kari I would've NEVER kissed her if I had seen who it was I was kissing! It's Willis' fault for bringing that girl and--"
"No! I'm not forgiving you! Do I have to get someone else to say that?" Kari glared. She suddenly pulled Cody out of nowhere (it can only happen in a story like this) and placed him right between her and TK. "Cody, tell TK I've broken up with him."
"What? You two are breaking up?" he asked.
"Yes!"
"Sorry TK, I guess I should cancel on that engagement ring plan," Cody shrugged.
"Make sure to cancel the Bachelor's party too," TK slid it in.
"Whatever."
"Ah-ha! You are going behind my back!" Kari jumped to the conclusion. "I knew it!"
"No it's not like that! But-but-but--!"
"No, TK! We're through."
"But-but-but-!"
"Go away!"
"No I'm not leaving," TK stubbornly insisted, moving closer to her and wrapping his arm around Kari in a romantical hug. "I love you too m--"
"TK . . ."
"Yes?"
"I . . . know you love me . . . but . . ."
"Yes, Kari? I'll do anything to make it up for you . . . I love you . . ."
"POW!"
"Ow . . ."
"You may love me but I don't love you anymore! Understand? No means no!" Kari yelled. "Ugh, all boys are jerks! You lecher!!"
"Agh, Kari! Why'd you do that for . . . !!?" TK gasped, as he lapsed to the floor clutching his stomach as his eyes watered a bit. "Man, my dad was really right about how love hurts . . . Ow."
"Hey you guys!" Davis swung by. Rounding a corner with Yolei and Veemon trailing him, he walked upon the two quarreling lovers. Kari had her back to TK and he was looking desperate to say something while curled in a fetal position on the ground. "Score! Did you two break up?"
TK turned his head towards the goggle-head leader. " . . . Not in your life, Davis."
"He's lying," Kari huffed. "Davis, I love you! TK's a jerk."
Davis mind was reeling all this information into his head. 'Them two fighting? They broke up? Kari actually said out loud she LOVES me?! Whoa, I think I may have died when I jumped off the roof instead of landing in the pool because this is unreal!'
Davis shook his hands. "Look, this is so out of character for both of you! Especially in a fanfic like this too! And of course, I must be getting out of character to want you two to get back together. You two need to kiss and make up like in those happy ending stor-!"
Kari pulled Davis into a kissed and was holding his head close. This shocked everyone around them. Even Veemon had his jaws hanging from his mouth. "Is Kari gonna swallow him or what?'
'Hello! This is TOTALLY real! What the hell was I thinking before thinking this was unreal?' Davis pondered in his head.
"Where's my Kenipoo to see this and learn something?" Yolei huffed. She suddenly and mysteriously pulled Ken out of nowhere just like Kari did with Cody. "Where have you been during this party?"
"Somewhere."
"Whatever. Just watch and learn from this! It's totally better than my soap operas," Yolei insisted. "And tell Davis stop smooching on Kari and get Kari and TK back together!"
"Yolei, I may be a genius but I'm no miracle worker," Ken replied. "They'll come back together sooner or later in time."
"Well it'll be sooner once you get Davis out of that lip lock with Kari," Yolei reminded him. "Kari is totally emotionally distressed and now Davis is taking the advantage."
"I think that's sort of the other way around," Veemon figured it out. "Davis just happened to be lucky to be around on the corner here and see them."
Davis pushed Kari away and gasped for air. "Wow, so that's how it feels to kiss. My head feels light . . ."
"That's nothing new," Yolei remarked.
"Kari . . ." TK said one more time.
"TK," Kari said sternly again, readying her fist.
"Please, not again, but hear me out first," TK said quickly, shielding his stomach just in case.
Kari let her hands down and decided to let TK have his say before she slaps him.
"Kari, from the first day I met you as kids, I knew there was something special about you. You were so kind and innocent. You helped others and believed in the goodness in others no matter what. You were always there for me or others when we needed someone to lean on. You're angelic and you can light the hope in others so easily with a smile. I really love you and that's why I'm pouring this all out from my heart. If I said anything like this about another girl, nothing can compare to this of what I have to say about you. You're the most wonderful girl a guy can have and that's why I still love you and I'm sorry to ever hurt you like that . . ."
Kari seemed speechless and the rage in her against TK seemed to be extinguished completely. She stood there just looking at him while he just smiled solemnly.
"Kari . . . I love you."
"Pfffft! That's such a cliché!" said Davis. "I think it's said too often it's overrated! Booooo!"
It was a tense love scene with such melodrama that Davis ruined the moment. Yolei put her fist on his head. "Davis shut up! I'm watching a movie!"
"So will you forgive me?" TK asked again.
Kari nodded. "Alright, I forgive you and I'm sorry for my behavior."
Then they kissed and made up. Davis was in the background making extreme disgusted sounds as he coughed, hacked, and sounded like he was dying.
"They should put warning up signs that says 'Extreme mushiness ahead. Please take an air sick bag'!" Davis gagged.
"I thought you enjoyed kissing, Davis," Veemon stated.
"Only if it's me and cuties," Davis replied.
Veemon then bounced towards Davis and landed a big smooch on Davis' lips. "Mmmmmwah! What about me? I'm cute!"
"Ptt! Ugh! Ack! Tbbbbbppt! Oh, yuck! Dammit Veemon no!" Davis gasped and groaned as he turned on to his stomach. "I think I'm gonna barf."
"I had garlic and liver. I'm sorry."
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They ran away from the scene and into another room of the mansion where the party was being held. The bar.
Ryo dived behind the drink bar with Cyberdramon behind him and threw Beelzemon over regardless if he lands on his face. "Ow! Can you handle me a little bit nicer at least?"
"Excuse me, no customers behind the bar," said the miss who was handing out drinks.
"Not like we're take any free beers," Beelzemon stated. "He's a minor, he's a dragon, and I'm . . . Yeah, I'm just a booze drinking drunk with a gun . . . Ooh, is that whiskey over there?"
The woman slapped his hand away from the bottle and kicked him aside as she went along her business. "You can hide but don't touch anything."
"Thank you," Ryo nodded. "It's like babysitting all over again . . . Except the baby talks and curses like a bitch."
"Hey I don't talk a lot," Beelzemon replied. "I just like to hear myself speak."
"She's coming," Cyberdramon warned as he hid.
Leblanc ran into the bar and searched around in frustration for Beelzemon and growled. "Vhere are joo Digimon? Come here zo I may murder joo!"
"BURP!"
"CRACK!"
She heard glass shatter behind her and looked. Behind the bar counter, empty bottles of alcohol were being tosses away as glugs and gulps are heard along with glasses shattering and customers dodging them. "Hmmm? Oh."
"Beelzemon! Stop drinking all that alcohol! It's not good to drink that much at a time like this," Ryo snapped at him, as he tried to catch all the bottles he threw away.
"Shaddup boy . . . hic Mmmmmm ya know, that's some gooooooooooooooooooooooooood whiskey and scotch . . ." Beelzemon replied with a drunk's smile. "Hmm, want some?"
" . . . Beelzemon, give me the bottle and no one gets hurt," Ryo calmly ordered him.
"hic NEVA!"
"CRACK!"
"Son of a-!" Ryo yipped. "My head! Why'd you crack that bottle over my head?!"
"Eep! Ryo!" Cyberdramon squeaked.
"I found joo, luvs!" Leblanc sprung on them looking over the counter.
"'Ello pretty lady . . . hic" Beelzemon waved. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzuuuup?!?!?!"
"Disgusting vil'thy Digimon," Leblanc spat as she backed away from them and left with a grin.
Ryo was aching in the head too much to wonder why Leblanc had just found them and not murder Beelzemon yet. "Oh man, I think I got a concussion or something."
"Here, have some whiskey! It'll make you feel better," Beelzemon offered. "Alcohol makes the world go roooooooooooooound . . . !! hic"
Leblanc had backed away from the bar counter and withdrew her fan up to her face, glaring at the bar where some of the customers sat drunkenly. "All ov joo drunks! Move or be moved now!"
"Matt, did you order a stripper?" Tai asked.
"What? No," Matt replied, slightly repulsed by that question. "Why?"
"Then who she?" Tai pointed.
"All you, vil'th move aside!" Leblanc said one last time but no one took her seriously as they continued drinking. "I said 'move aside'!"
A wolfish whistle was sounded from a corner of the bar by Ogremon. "Hello lady! Want me to buy a drink for ya?"
"I warned them," she sighed. Suddenly she pulled out five daggers from her hands and spread them out like her fan. Then she immediately went on to the offense as she tossed them but these weren't ordinary shurikens. They explode on contact. And she had plenty of them with her too. Now all the customers scattered like roaches. Cyberdramon peeked over from under the counter a little just in time to know what was going. "CRAP!"
Explosions and fire erupted around everywhere in the bar room.
"Agh!"
"Eep!"
"Run away!"
"Scream!"
"No! No! Not the alcohol! Save the alcohol!"
"BOOM!"
"BOOM!"
"BOOM!"
"BOOM!"
"..."
" . . . I think it's over . . ." Cyberdramon simply replied.
"You think? hic" Beelzemon asked bluntly.
The whole bar room was cleared of stools, chairs, and tables when the explosion shattered and burned them all leaving only smelted and charred scraps left. Even the counter was gone and now revealed the two Digimon and boy hiding there. They were fear-struck by that barrage of exploding shurikens except Beelzemon who just sat there happily chugging down the scotch.
"Mmmmmm ahhh," Beelzemon chirped. "Hm, it's empty," he shook the bottle.
"Dat'll be jor last bottle now vhen I get my handz on--"
Cyberdramon picked up Ryo and Beelzemon and was about to run away when Leblanc tossed out a whole swarm of shurikens at Cyberdramon as explosions followed him like a train cart. "Oh I'm so gonna see my psychiatrist after this!" Cyberdramon shouted. "I'm never trusting a human woman anymore!"
"Yeah well I'm gonna report child abuse for this," Ryo sorely added while rubbing his head.
"And me I'm gonna go to a beer factory after this!" Beelzemon replied. "Wheee!"
" . . . Sober for six months and now he gives it all up," Cyberdramon sighed. "There be no living with him after this ever again."
"I kill joo Digimon! Now!" Leblanc screeched.
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"ALL RIGHT, TIME FOR A GAME OF FRISBEE, DIGIMON STYLE!! KAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Kimeramon cackled. He grabbed Beowolfmon and swung him around before he tossed the light warrior over a hundred feet across the front lawn of the mansion and into the metal gates, getting his head now stuck in between. Agunimon followed his lead and was tossed into the gates too.
"This was so not in the contract I signed with my manager before I decided to be on this show . . ." Beowolfmon growled, popping his head out of the bars of the gate. "I'll sue the TV station for this!"
"YOU TWO HUNGRY YET?!" Kimeramon asked. "I'LL INVITE YA'LL TO DINNER!! HAHAHA!"
"To dinner or as dinner?" Beowolfmon snarled.
Agunimon hoisted his bearings back and had to think of a strategy on overcoming this monster of an opponent. "Okay dude, we need a plan. Think, think, think . . . Oh I got it! Plan A: We do a full on head charge with a war cry to startle him like Xena the warrior princess."
"No," Beowolfmon said firmly before struggling his head out. "Bad idea."
"Okay, Plan B: We sneak up behind him and give him a tail wedgie!" Agunimon brainstormed.
"No," Beowolfmon repeated himself. "Too big."
"Fine, Plan C: We dress up as girl Digimon and he won't know it's us and we can get back inside the mansion safe and sound," Agunimon thought of again.
" . . . There's no way am I wearing a dress," the light warrior bluntly and firmly stated.
"Well you can probably fool him as a girl with that long ponytail of yours as your human self," Agunimon scoffed. "Growl."
" . . . Hell no."
"Fine . . . If you can't agree on ANY of my plans, lets hear one of your own plans," said Agunimon in an annoyed tone. "Just ignore me, the leader who saved our butts so many times, and follow you this time. The selfish bitchy moody one."
"Well, I'll have to demonstrate it," Beowolfmon sheepishly smiled.
"Demonstrate it?"
"Yeah, like so."
Next thing Agunimon knew was that he was flying across the sky at Kimeramon at 70 mph and smacked right into his helmet like a bug. With a sickening smack followed by a screechy sliding noise as he peeled off and plopped on the ground, he groaned. "Sure, Plan D: Toss me at Kimeramon as a distraction regardless of me breaking any bones along the process."
Kimeramon then grabbed Agunimon, sniffed him a couple of times, and then slurped him up and swallowed him. "THAT WAS GOOD EATING! COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF!"
"Yeah, say it to my mamma," Agunimon grumbled in the pitch darkness of the stomach. "Stupid Koji and his plans . . . grumble, grumble, grumble . . . Now I'm in the belly of the beast!"
"Okay, this is a good moment to attack him," Beowolfmon grinned. He then made a full on charge at lightning speed towards Kimeramon from behind. He crouched before he made a high jump over the brute with a flip landing. As a warrior he must follow the Hero's Code of Honor and that's to vanquish the evil beast and bring peace back to this land. Rescue the damsels in distress and stand up for the little people and to uphold justice . . . But what's a warrior without a weapon?
"Shit, a dumbass warrior! I don't have a sword anymore! What the heck?!" Beowolfmon remembered. "Crap! Okay, I'll just have to fight without a sword. . ."
Beowolfmon then skid down the side of Kimeramon's face to his eyes and poked the creature in the jelly of his eyeballs.
"GRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! My eyes! My beautiful golden eyes! You poked them!!" Kimeramon bellowed in pain and stomped around.
Agunimon was still in the pit of the stomach and was just sloshing around along with the other bilges and gunk Kimeramon had swallowed. "This sucks!"
Beowolfmon then warmed up by rotating his shoulders and rubbing his right arm. "Agunimon I'm coming for ya!"
"Which way? There are two ways you can come and get me!" shouted Agunimon through the belly walls of Kimeramon. "The front door or the back door in here?! I don't prefer the back door!"
Beowolfmon concentrated all his strength and pulled his right fist back as he launched it up into Kimeramon's stomach, with tremendous force that it knocked Kimeramon's stomach up. Kimeramon then turned over and started choking and hacking as Agunimon was forced out through his mouth along with the acidic bilges too.
"EWWWW . . ." Kimeramon spat and coughed.
"Ewwww . . ." Agunimon said too. "I'll kill Koji for this!"
"Kill me later but let's run inside now!" Beowolfmon whisked Agunimon off his feet and ran towards the mansion's front doors. He knocked the two doors in and tossed Agunimon off his shoulders while he slammed the doors closed for good. "Okay, we're safe! Phew! Remind me to never do that again without a sword. 'cause then I resolve to using my fists and it hurts!"
Agunimon shook the gunk and bilges off of him like a wet dog, getting it all over the guests and digimon. "Oh yeah that was a nice bath, Koji. Real good plan. All hail the great Beowolfmon. Well just forget about me while I'm in the stomach of Kimeramon's!"
"Ya know I could've left you in there and not helped you," Beowolfmon reminded.
"I don't need your help!" Agunimon stubbornly replied. "I'll use the back door if I had to . . . If I brought gloves and a nose plug."
"So how was it Beowolfmon? Did you negotiate with the bigger Digimon?" Kouichi asked.
"Uh, you can say that," Beowolfmon replied. "Azulongmon put up a good fight but somehow Agunimon got him and the other Digimon Sovereigns to come together next Friday for sushi and barbeque."
Tai, Matt, Gabumon, and Agumon came running towards them covered in dust and trailing a smoke behind them from an explosion.
"Wherever you four go, you seem to be running away from something," Agunimon noticed.
"That pretty much goes for all of us here," Matt coughed, brushing off the soot on his shoulders.
"You know, I think this party is gonna be warming up soon right about now," Gabumon thought. "You know, a climax in a story . . . In the end, we're all gonna die."
"He's still high on just sniffing the fumes of the bar," Matt warned. "We're not gonna die. Well, us cute bishonen guys aren't for sure."
"Good, I'll be alive," J.P. smiled.
"Um, you're not exactly bishonen material," Tommy poked.
"Hey, some girls like the chubby brave guys like me," J.P. scowled. "I'm buff."
"If you take the brave part out of that, I'd believe you."
The front doors suddenly started shaking as the doors were being forced opened.
"Oh boy, they're rousing up again," Zoe sighed.
Agunimon got up and ran to the door to hold it back. He then took a coat hanger pole and shoved it through the door handles to hold them out and shoved many heavy furniture against the doors. He piled book cases, desks, tables, and even threw in Monzaemon to hold it. "There, they'll never come in!"
"Uh, you sure?" J.P. asked.
The door stopped pulsing and the noises outside seem to stop and settle down. Gabumon looked out the window and his eyes bulged out as he ran away from the window. The whole front windows and walls of the mansion was bashed in leaving only the front door intact and standing as the larger Digimon started stomping through the crowd of guests and terrorizing everyone.
"Raaaaarrr!! Run you little people! Run!" Tyrannomon bellowed.
"Grrrraaaarrgghhh! Fear me! I'm Godzilla's cousin! Hahaha!!" a DarkTyrannomon laughed.
The Tyrannomon next to him bonked him on the head. "Idiot. It's only funny if I say it. Not you."
More and more larger Digimon stomped and piled in past the Digidestines and ignoring them while they swallowed more of their guests.
Beowolfmon sighed and rubbed his temples. "Agunimon you never learn . . . These guys don't use doors!"
Agunimon thought for a moment before saying, " . . . Oh yeah."
"Yeah . . ." Beowolfmon nodded.
"They use the back door!"
"That's not my point!"
"They go through the chimney like Santa?"
"No! How stupid can you be?! Kimeramon must've swallowed your brain or something! I can't believe I follow you around as a lackey part of a group lead by you!"
"Hey . . . I happen to be the coolest Digidestine leader out of all the seasons! I wore a hat and goggles combined."
"Don't push your luck, ya newbie," Tai muttered. "Let's just hope you don't wind up as another Davis idiot."
Beowolfmon sighed. " . . . . I need a drink."
"Minors aren't allowed to drink!"
"Except us bishonens," Matt coughed.
"Who can tell if I'm a minor when I'm Beowolfmon? Martini on the rocks please! Heavy on the alcohol!" he called out.
Too late, the bartender got slurped up by Kimeramon.
"Shit. Who's bartending now?"
Agumon sighed, and decided he should find the guy in charge of the mansion and pulled Tai with him. The owner who kicked Tai in the knee and sent him bawling to the floor along with his butler. Maybe something will make sense around here. Gabumon tailed him singing something while waddling. "hic ♪ Oh I wish I was a Oscar Wiener so everybody would love me! ♪ hic Is that right?"
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Mimi was whining how quiet this party is. Obviously she hasn't gone to the right places of the mansion to encounter the fun the others are facing. Sora followed her along with a male escort, Joe, to follow and protect and along with Izzy too since they were the only sober Digidestines around. Although Joe is sort of a coward in his own way so it was useless and stupid to ask him anyway in the first place to follow. They decided to go off and look for Biyomon, Tentomon, and Palamon but no such luck while upstairs with a flashlight and Gomamon to lighten the mood.
"Then I said 'If that van's a rockin', don't come a knockin'!' but did he listen? Noooooo, and after he did, the doctor said he mentally scarred himself and now he's blind when he first opened the back of that van's door," Gomamon retold the story. "Watching someone doing that can really scar you for good."
"Gomamon, enough with the jokes please," Joe hushed him. "This isn't such a great time to tell jokes when we're lurking in the dark with a flashlight in a big giant mansion and having no idea what's behind the next corner."
"Well I hope it's Palamon," Mimi whimpered, holding onto Sora's shoulder and looking around alarmingly.
"Joe, you're a guy so you have to be brave," Sora stated. "That's why we asked you to come."
"Yeah right," Joe scoffed.
"Okay, we could've asked the others but it seems like Tai and Matt are off for Happy Hour and for some reason I can't find any of the other Digidestines," Sora mentioned. "I wonder where they all can be . . . Maybe we'll bump into them up here on this floor."
"What about Kazu and Kenta?" Mimi remembered.
"Oh yeah, them. They talk to much and they got their hands tied up at the moment," Sora remembered. "I also think they're gonna be sued by that reporter . . ."
FLASHBACK
A reporter was interviewing with Kazu and Kenta about their movie acting career and how they faced off in the face of adventure and horror.
"So, tell me Mr. Shioda, how was it like to receive your first Digimon here, Guardromon?" the female reporter asked.
"Oh it was great. Guardromon is the best buddy you can have! Have you seen him face off against Beelzemon in episode 36 'The Battle Within'? His Guardian Barrage knocked right into Beelzemon's face good!" Kazu gloated as he slapped against Guardromon's back.
"But in that episode, it mainly focused on Gallantmon and Beelzemon's battle against each other of morals and perspective of justice and punishment," the female reporter remembered.
"Yeah, but we're good for a cameo because we rock!" Kazu bragged on again and again.
"So how's your love-life if I may so ask?" the reporter wanted to know.
"Well . . . I have been having this crush on one particular girl . . ."
"Oh, and who might that be?" she asks.
"You."
"Don't flatter me, boy. You're only thirteen years old and I'm . . . . . . . ."
"Yes?"
"I don't have to tell you my real age, boy. So anything about your love life?"
"In episode 37 'No Mon Is An Island', I clearly remembered Kazu being accompanied by two sad girls," Guardromon stated. "I was there."
"Oh?" she asked.
"Oh-no," Kazu smacked his head with his palm. "Not this."
FLASHBACK
"Man, two sad girls . . ." Kazu whined, seeing that he had to watch over the sniffling Suzie and depressed Jeri.
"Hey, Kazu!" Kenta huffed, hoping the girls didn't hear him say that about them.
"Mmmm . . . I haven't even started dating! I gotta deal with two sad girls!" Kazu complained.
"Once you start dating I'm sure you'll make lots of girls sad!" Guardromon comforted.
"WHAT?!"
"Well . . ."
"Will you just go watch Suzie?"
"Fine . . . Humans are so confusing . . ."
FLASHBACK ENDS
"Uh-huh, excellent," the reporter wrote down.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! You're not gonna exactly write that down, are ya?" Kazu worried.
"No."
"Phew! Good."
"I'll stretch it first and exaggerate it beyond what your friend told me and it'll sell big news for the papers," she answered. "I can see it now . . . The headline: 'Digimon: Kazu Dates Depress Girls Only - Happy Girls Are A Turn Off'. How's that for a title?"
"WHAT?!" Kazu jumped. "HECK NO! That'll take away all my fan girl!!"
"If you had any in the first place," Kenta snickered.
"Well you don't either, four-eyes!" Kazu bonked his friend on the head.
Now, I have a question for you MarineAngemon," the reporter now asked the pink flyer. "You have no nostrils. How do you smell?"
"Awful. Trust me, I live with him. He farts more than a man who just ate ten bean burritos," Kenta replied. "And it's horrible when he forgets about his potty training."
"Hm!" MarineAngemon nodded. "Right!"
"Interesting . . ." the reporter nodded along. They weren't exactly great interviewing material but maybe if she stretches it, it can make a good headline. "Well, I'll be leaving now to interview the other Digidestines and their Digi-- AGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
The reporter slipped on her back and landed with a thud and was sprawled on the floor. "Oh, I think I broke my neck! Ow! . . . What's that smell?"
Everyone realized what she slipped on and why it smelled so horrible. "MarineAngemon . . ."
The little Digimon looked innocently. "What? I didn't make a mess."
FLASHBACK ENDS
Sora sighed, "Well, we can always 'black' mail her by releasing BlackWarGreymon on her."
"Hm, that's odd," Izzy muttered.
"What is it, Izzy?" Mimi wondered.
Izzy had his Pineapple laptop out and was making quick typing sounds as he pulled up a screen showing a map of the floor they were on in the mansion. "We're right here. Those four blue blinking lights."
"I see," Joe confirmed. "So what's so odd?"
"Well about --[a few more quick typing sounds]-- thirty meters away from us due west in our direction, there's --[more quick typing sounds]-- six other glowing dots running along with one behind it heading towards our direction in exactly --[a click of the spacebar]-- 63 seconds."
"Wow, they're running pretty fast," Joe noticed. "Wonder why?"
Mimi gasped. "Could it be Palamon?! Oh I hope so!!"
Izzy then typed again. "Gomamon, you scout around the corner there and tell me who it is. My laptop can only indicate heat traces of the bodies but that's it. It'll be safer if you go first."
"Why me?"
"I said so. Move it."
"Okay," Gomamon replied. "Why do they always send the white mon to go first in these horror stories? It's just not fair."
"Gomamon stop making racist jokes and this isn't a horror story," Joe lectured. "It's a comedy."
"Pfft! That's what they all say before they get hack and slashed by the murderer," Gomamon grumbled as he waddled away behind the corner. Izzy searched more on his laptop while the two girls leaned over his shoulders to get a better look and Joe watched along too. Suddenly on the screen, six more dots joined them a few doors down and now it was a dozen dots being chased by one dot and having another one following too. Oh wait, now three dots just appeared on screen.
"This is getting weirder. Now there's a whole bunch of them heading our way in less than 20 seconds to spare. What can they be running from?" Izzy wondered. "And why the heck are there so many dots?"
Suddenly they heard Gomamon screaming and paddling back to them on his short legs.
"Run! Run! Run!"
"What? Why?"
"Stampede!"
Izzy panicked. "Agh! Not over my laptop they're not!" He quickly shut his laptop and ran away the other way.
"Izzy! Wait for us!" they shouted after him.
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"Giddy up you doggie!" Terriermon quipped. "Yah! Yah! Yah!"
"Dammit Terriermon don't make me pull over," Henry hissed.
"Buttless chaps Miss Pwetty Pants #2 . . ." Terriermon squeaked a reminder. "Remember?"
" . . . You're never riding on top of my head after this."
"Are you alright, Jeri?" Leomon asks.
"Oh just peachy as ever," Jeri replied.
"How can you say that when we have a madman right behind us?!?" Bokomon shouted in a panicked stricken tone.
"Well this is pretty normal compared to my experience," Jeri answered.
Suddenly up ahead, Takato's head popped out from the left side of the rows of doors along with Guilmon and the others as they came into view. Henry stopped to a halt and called out to Takato. "Takato what are you doing here?"
"Oh you know, running and hiding like fugitives as usual," Takato replied. "Why the heck do they want to kill us so badly?"
"I have no idea," Henry replied.
"Hello! I found the mother load of food here!" Calumon chirped. "Creampuff galore!"
"GyAhAhAhAhAhA!! Come here you nuisssence!" Sicknor shouted, chasing them with that weird tool of his he used on Cyberdramon.
"Great . . . Talk, eat, and run at the same time guys," said Palamon as they all started running again.
Wiley came stumbling out the door after them with a bed-pan for a hat and was as dizzy as being knocked out cold with it. Of course he did just get knocked out . . . "Oi, Sicknor! What you doing here?"
"ThEm! AfTeR theM!" Sicknor insisted. "ANd whY aRe yOu weARing a BeD-Pan foR a hAT?"
"Huh?" Wiley then tossed the bed-pan off his head and put on his cowboy hat and ran with Sicknor after the Digimon and Tamers.
"Quick, down the stairs! They're going down into the party!"
Meanwhile . . .
"Ya sure we should be following these guys?" the blonde burglar asked. "We have no point in this story."
"Nothing?" the third burglar wondered.
"Nothing. All we do is explain how incredibly dumb I am, how gay you are, and how incompetent our leader is while running around in this mansion."
"Hey . . ." the leader snorted. "I'm not incompetent."
"For the last time, I'M NOT GAY!" the third screamed.
"Let's just ditch this story and leave," the blonde stated. "I want a bath when we get home."
"Fine, but first, margaritas!" the third remembered.
The blonde just caught him by the ears and dragged him off. "No drinking while operation heavy machinery."
"Not the ears, please!"
And right below them . . .
"Rika, we should find the others soon and get the them rejoined with their partners," Renamon stated as she scouted the area before letting the others out.
"Right, we should head to the party."
"No other reason why we shouldn't head back into the kitchen," said Hawkmon.
"Why?"
"The cook got me! I'm gonna be Armadillo Sausages!! HELP!" Armadillomon bellowed upside down, as he was grabbed by the tail with a butcher knife to his neck.
"Hahaha! That's a good idea, my friend, but I hoped for a Texas style Armadillo Soup!" The Chef laughed.
"Not the soup! Not the soup!"
"Oh great . . ." Rika mumbled. Now they have to save him. "Renamon."
"Right," Renamon then leapt at the Cook. "Diamond Storm!"
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"Hey is that Takato and the others?" Ryo noticed.
"Yeah," Cyberdramon replied. "And Henry with Jeri."
"Oooh, it's Rika in a dress! Hullo!" Beelzemon, still drunk, shouted. "Hi pwetty lady!"
Then the whole wall that closed the kitchen off from the living room burst as Renamon was thrown out of there. She hit right into Cyberdramon, knocking him over with his passengers and sprawled on the ground. "What the heck is going on here?"
"Too . . . strong . . ." Renamon moaned.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Cyberdramon asked.
"I said pretty much plain and clear for you," Renamon sternly put it. "TOO - STRONG - !"
"You're growing soft, foxy," Cyberdramon mumbled.
"Renamon! Are you alright?" Rika asked in concern as she came at a slow run. "Dammit stupid dress. You can't run in them! Nor these high-heels!"
"Our tail is being chased by that mad woman at the moment," Ryo tensely reminded. "So far she blew up the bar and probably injured a bunch of the guests."
"And all the alcohol too!" Beelzemon said in rage. "The booze!! hic"
"Did she do this to you?" said Rika, noticing the bump on Ryo's head.
"No, that was the drunk over there," Ryo replied, jerking his thumb at Beelzemon.
"That shiner looks good on ya, boy," Beelzemon complimented.
"Down the stairs Miss Pwetty Pants #2! Hiyaaah! Hi-Ho, Silver! Hiyaaah!"
"That's it."
"Huh? GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
"CONK!"
"No more back seat riding on my head," Henry yelled.
He had tossed Terriermon down the stairs and right into Cyberdramon's dome like helmet head. Henry had had it with Terriermon's cowboy remarks and jokes. "Ack! Children! Stop throwing stuff at me!" Cyberdramon roared.
Henry, Takato, Jeri, and the other Digimon fled down the steps of stairs towards Ryo and Rika. It was safety in numbers and at the moment, it be great when you have four murderers on your back and over a dozen witnesses together. "Wait a minute, where's Calumon?"
Calumon was rolling around at the top of the stairs as round and heavy as a Uncle Farris after Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner combined. He carried an armful of creampuffs and they overflowed. "Creampuffs! Yum!"
"Wow, Calumon really DID hit the creampuff galore," said Guilmon.
"He better not trip down those stairs," Leomon prayed. "Because we're all like pinheads in a vertical bowling alley."
"Whoops," Calumon peeped. He slipped on his own creampuff and started rolling down the stairs like a really huge snowball coming down a hill. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"Aww, sh-!!"
"BOOM!"
"KA-POW!"
"Ya jinxed us, Leomon! Thanks a lot!" Terriermon puffed, while under Guilmon.
Now there was a huge Tamer and Digimon dog pile in front of the steps. Everyone was crushed upon each other and they can't even get up because bloat-up Calumon was on top of them. "Wow, that was fun! Let's do that again!" Calumon cheered.
"NO!" they all screamed.
"Okay, who's hand is on my butt?" Rika snarled. "Takato is that yours?!"
"What?! Me? No! Never! Mine's on Jeri's butt," Takato stated.
"SLAP!"
"Jeri, it's not my fault!" Takato said in an exasperated tone.
"Sorry, dunno what came over me."
"Good thing I have my hands free to slap whoever's hand is on me," Rika huffed.
"Actually that's my hand on your ass, Rika," Ryo admitted sheepishly. "It's actually really soft and--"
"SLAP!"
"SLAP!"
"SLAP!"
"Ow! Crap that hurts, Rika! Why'd you triple slapped me?!" Ryo groaned, rubbing the side of his face.
"You had your hand on my ass once and you were squeezing my ass twice!" Rika viciously replied, looking ready to slap him again.
"Is it wrong for 14-year-old boy to have urges to do that?" Ryo asked.
There were too many slaps to account for but it was probably more than what a Jigglypuff can do with Rika's lightening quick speed with her hands. Now Ryo's face was a swollen mass of red hand marks. "I shouldn't have said that . . ."
"Me luv! Wiley! Have joo killed any yet?" Leblanc asked, looking at the top of the stairs where her husband stood with Sicknor.
"No, But they're all gathered here!" he smiled in giddy. "Like shooting fish in a barrel!"
"I caught one," the Chef announced, bumbling out of the kitchen with a large steel cooking pot. "Armadillo Soup, anyone?"
Armadillomon popped his head out of the pot. "HEEEEEELP! HEEEELP! HEEEEEEL--"
"Shut up!" the Chef hushed, shoving the rodent back into the pot.
"SsswEEt, nOw we JusssT neEd tHe bOsSs to cOMe aNd tHEn wE can FEAssst!" Sicknor hissed. "HEhEhEhE."
With the Tamers all gathered there at the bottom of the stairs surrounded by four people who wanted to kill them and incredibly disarmed and in disarray, now they're easily able to become Mon A La Dinner for these four's feast. What'll happen next?
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A/N: That was a lot to put in a chapter. Okay, review and thank you!