AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, it's been a while but I wasn't feeling inspired to write this and now I was! Don't R&R if all you have to say is "this seems really rushed" because I'm not finished with it. This was a long chapter but my stories always are when I listen to True Vibe. Lol. R&R!
NOTE: Maria and Sonic the hedgehog do not belong to me-none of it does accept Damaris!
CHAPTER TWO: We Can Be Friends
Feebe,
I still haven't gotten any of those long overdue visits from Shadow. I thought that three weeks would be long enough for him to find a few minutes to run over here to see me but he hasn't come. I don't know what's keeping him and I'm starting to become more and more depressed about it-though I'm trying not to. Last night I was looking at myself in the mirror and broke into tears thinking about him and all those times we spent on the ARK together all those years ago. I'm being selfish again. Back then it was he and I and no one else to ruin the bond we shared. We did everything together and now he's got someone else more important than me to love in a better way. I feel so trashed, like old junk, outdated and unimportant. I wish G.U.N. hadn't come and I could have stayed on ARK my whole life being with him. We'd still be together in the present, now that I think about it, if everything had gone on as it was supposed to. Perhaps I would have even taken my grandpa's position when he died. I'd be an old woman.
But I can't think about him. I'll talk about someone new in my life. Damaris has been living with me for a week now. I guess he's ok. He still hasn't apologized about calling me a chicken last week and I think he's forgotten all about the rude comment. I will not let him see me angry about it though.
It's the strangest thing. He has a mechanical system in his shoes called Turbo Springs that allows him to jump extremely high! I watched him run towards a building and jump all the way to the top with no problem-and it had ten stories! He claims that he can jump a lot higher but I think he's just bragging and it turns me off. I have no idea what to do with him. One minute he's happy and hyper and the next he's hesitant and afraid. What's up? Other times he's just plain annoying, ignoring what I say; but, yet, for some reason, I prefer spending more and more time with him everyday. I feel like I want to help him, watch him, keep him. Is this wrong? I don't think of him as a pet because I'm so much taller than him, for he's an intelligent creature. Why am I feeling attached in this way to a hedgehog? It's so pathetic…
Yes, you heard right, Feebe. I've formed feelings for the short guy. It hardly seems possible that I could have a crush on a hedgehog but something from my last life was reborn along with me. It allows me to see into a person's heart and understand their problems. I can see that something deep is wrong with Damaris. Something… sad and confused. Sort of like how Shadow felt aboard ARK. I will tell you that I don't just have a crush on Damaris, I have a major crush which means that I like him A LOT. What if I fall in love with him? I don't think he could ever feel the way I do because we're different races so there's no point of me telling him or starting anything. Whoever heard of a hedgehog and a human dating anyways?
Perplexed, Maria locked her diary. Circumstances were against her and she knew that it was just a matter of time before her feelings eroded her resistance totally. The best route was to tell Damaris that since his leg was better, that he should leave now, but that was wrong. He had adapted to living with her and since he had confessed to having no home of his own, she felt as though tossing him out would be brutal-cruel-and she couldn't ever bring herself to dismiss him so worthlessly.
But this feeling-what was this? This was not supposed to happen-especially with someone so obnoxious! Maria slammed her bottom dresser drawer then slouched lazily down in her computer chair and started writing. Thought, those little thoughts, the dreams in her head, emotions, things flowing from her soul poured out onto the document before her and she couldn't stop. Who she was writing too-Shadow, Sonic, someone she didn't know-she didn't care, she just had to write from her soul.
I felt a tear upon my eyelid
crying like some little kid
What can I do to stop these tears,
that pour out from all my fears?
I feel as though I've lost you,
and it's ripping me in two.
For you're the only one I've ever had,
but now your gone and I'm sad.
More sad than I've ever been before,
I don't know what's in store.
How can I tell you that I'm falling for you,
that I know this love is true?
We're so different and I can't say
how I love you-in which way.
Now I'm crying harder than I was
and you're the reason because…
Without critiquing her poem, Maria lunged into the next one with music blasting through her earphones. She was silently sobbing but denied any form of feeling for the hedgehog as she wrote:
People just don't understand how I am
People don't bother to ask for my name
But I don't need those pesky people
Who never change-they stay the same
It makes me sick that I'm misunderstood
Ijust want someone to see the true me
But no one cares enough to take the time
And no one thinks that I can be
Anything
Or everything
They ignore me wherever I go
I am the shadow in the halls
That "someone" no one knows
The dust clinging to the vacant walls
Not even my mother seems to know
The me that hides and slips on through
So I don't bother to make the effort
To tell anyone the reason why I know I can do
Anything
Or everything
"What are you writing?"
"Oh! Nothing!" Maria closed the program, "It was nothing. Why? What did you see-how long have you been standing there?"
"Not long. I came in to ask if you'd wanna go to the arcade or the casino but I saw you crying and I sorta…well…it was just…I thought it…"
"Sure I'll go do something with you. How about the arcade? I'm not really a gambler."
He shifted the cuffs on his left arm at her change in character, but shrugged mentally, "Alright! Let's go have some fun! You got money, right? I wanna play tons of games!"
"It's all about you all the time, isn't it?"
"Where'd you get that stupid idea? C'mon, let's go!" Out the door he dashed, not nearly as fast as Sonic for jumping was his specialty, speed his long neglected skill, and Maria raced down the stairs after him. Damaris gulped down the endless gallons of fresh summer air and exclaimed carelessly, "You look cool in those shorts!"
Maria blushed crimson which added to the buttery blondness of her soft hair and Damaris turned away smirking devilishly. She was a girl for a gut to aspire to, a special emerald in the dust, the rare gem to be won and he, surprising himself, found himself envying the male who won her affection. No one deserved her and anyone who hurt her would live to regret it, he vowed mentally, again to his astonishment at his protective condition for her.
But she could never love him the way he knew he was falling for her if she knew his background. He could seriously endanger her and his enemies could even hurt her to get to him. It couldn't be risked. If he could hold his emotions from growing, then parting wouldn't be as hard for the both of them, he reasoned. The parting was a certainty for it was only a matter of time before his location was sealed.
Damaris' thoughts wound back to images and visions of his parents: voices, lullabies, hums-little tidbits he had retained through the bitter pain and morbid circumstances he had lived through. They hadn't been able to steal those few memories that were rightfully his. If there had ever been anything he could call his own, something no one else could steal, his memories qualified. They had stole his identity, quelled his voice from crying out, destroyed, or at least tried to, the hope of freedom. Sliding his hand into Maria's, Damaris promised himself that it wouldn't happen again. They could lock him away, stick wires through his spine, cut him to pieces, but he wouldn't allow his will of freedom to be extinguished as it almost had been before.
She had been the only friend before Maria that Damaris ever had: Zoe. Plain Zoe, never a last name, never an age, never any private information. Like a mother, he recalled, affectionately, how she held him, warmed him on the cold days, dried his tears, sang comfort hymns to him; she told him everything would be alright, that she was always someone he could trust and that her love for him was of the strongest, firmest type. Nothing would separate them. Even though her voice wasn't that of his birth mother, Zoe was the only mother had remembered and his eyes watered from her betrayal. Unit 1 was her official agent title. She and Unit 1 were tracking him as the pair walked, he knew, but there was some little time left before he would be forced to flee this pretty, simple life with Maria.
"Something wrong, Damaris?"
"No," Damaris smiled weakly up into her blue tear-drop eyes, "I was just thinking about some stuff about me. Nothing serious or anything."
"I hope not. It looked like you were getting pretty engrossed whatever it was. A fond memory perhaps?" Maria wished she didn't have to play these little games with him but she felt that any confrontations could leave some damage to him so tried not to mention the sparkle near his eye the moment before. He spoke not so she entreated not.
Unit 1 knew Host 767 was in this faction of the city, covering 200 blocks of buildings. She sighed at the thought of sending her soldiers through the buildings. Unit 2 hadn't been able to provide more accurate scanning devices, being the electrical supplier of the pair, and she herself hadn't even thought of having a tracker sown inside Host 767's skin. She blamed herself for that one, yet praised the compassion she had felt for the sad little lab experiment then.
"Unit 2, any progress?"
"Negative, Unit 1. Host 767 is closer to your area than mine anyways. We'll be here for a few more days at least."
"Why hadn't you purchased trackers when you had all that time?"
"No time for any of that, sister," Unit 2's glassy voice hissed, "Be professional. Your personal emotions cannot become a negative factor with this mission! GUN is counting on us and if we let them down…"
"Understood. Unit 1 out."
If we let them down. I don't care. I'd rather die than turn Damaris in… Unit 1 glared at the blocks yet to be covered. This job got worse everyday.
"Damaris, we've been here for three hours."
"Really? It doesn't seem that long. Are you sure?"
Maria checked her watch again: 5:41 PM. "Yes, positive. You've spent almost all of my money and all of your current tokens. I need to do my homework and Mom's already going to be fuming that I went out and didn't tell her where."
"Ok, gimme the rest of your money so I can get some more tokens." He was totally ignoring her words, only centering in on his own selfish desires.
"Damaris!"
"Huh?" He paused in the center of the bustling arcade, eyes half closed, dumb expression on his adorable face, "You bellowed?"
"I-you-this!" She dug her nails into his arm, "YOU are going to come with ME home this minute. For once, think about something other than yourself! I'm sick of your issues with YOU! It's my money, get it? And to think I'm starting to develop feelings for you!" She gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth, backing away from the shocked hedgehog.
"What was that?" Damaris was rubbing his sore arm, "You…you like me?"
"Yes-no! I mean… I mean… Oh! I can't do this!" She ran from the arcade fearing what could be passing through his mind. How he must think her nothing but an immature, stupid girl to like him-a hedgehog! They were both so different-in more than body-and could never work out for each other! Damaris never apologized for rude comments, never considered other people, leeched off of anyone kind enough to assist him, and acted as though everything was always alright when it wasn't! She should hate him.
-TOBY MAC: ATMOSPHERE (Remix)-
Damaris's arm lunged for her but his legs stuck to the floor stubbornly. He watched her form disappear behind the wall and shook his head sadly. One week of being with her and he wasn't the only one who had smelled some of her scents. By the time his legs cooperated, Damaris found that Maria was no where in sight and the only place he could go was back to her house.
Maple trees rustled from the hot winds blowing. His quills shifted calmly. Turning toward the parking lot, Damaris froze. G.U.N. soldiers were advancing towards his direction-how did they find him so quickly-what was he going to do? Unit 2 was nowhere in sight which worried him greater. He dashed down the sidewalk. A dart scraped his leg, missing by millimeters. Damaris skidded around a corner, rushing through a slender, black alley in desperation. The shouts of the G.U.N. soldiers were closing in! Why hadn't he been gifted with speed instead of jumping? Wait: jumping!
"You won't get me this time!" He spat on the ground, springing high up into the air as the soldiers clustered below, shooting their guns up after him, but Damaris was too fast and backed from the edge of roof of a twenty story tall building a minute later. His breath wavered though short hiccups, but he was safe for the moment.
"Man, I didn't think I could make that jump. I guess I can… or I'd be down there and blacked out and not up here and safe for the moment."
"Are you truly safe up here?"
"Who's there?" He sped around, "Z-Zoe!" It was her: the woman he'd been with almost his whole life. The one he had trusted; the one he loved. Seeing her again sent chills down his spine and tender memories spinning in his head but he couldn't be deceived by her any longer. She was working for those who wanted him locked away in some dark, empty cell. "How'd you get up here-there's no way nobody coulda' known I'd come up here!"
"Ah, but I know you." She didn't seem angry just sad and hesitant.
"Course you do." He turned away from the female to glance down the side. The G.U.N. soldiers were gone. He started panicking. They must be coming up to the roof at the moment!
"Damaris," Unit 1 coxed, "They'll find you one way or the other. If you come with me now, it would really make my job easier and it would ensure you're safety. Unit 2 is ruthless and if she gets her pincers on you, the future would be grim." Was that true care in her voice or a ploy to get him where she wanted?
"My future is always grim anyways. With you or with her-you're both the same and you lied! You said I could trust you! You said you loved me! It was all a show." The words sliced her emotionally to pieces. It stung to see her Damaris so spiteful but he had legitimate reason to despise her and Unit 1 knew she deserved it. She had betrayed him, turned her back, destroyed their bond.
"Damaris, I do love you."
"Pah!" The hedgehog's eyes narrowed suspiciously, "You want me to come back with you voluntarily? I won't do that! You're insane if you think otherwise!"
"Don't go, Damaris! Give me a chance-hear me out!" But her words flew with the wind, her eyes burning sadly for her son as she watched him spring across to the next roof, run across the surface, and jump to the next roof, then the next, and the next, till his fading form completely disappeared from her sight. Seconds tardy, G.U.N. soldiers filed through the stairwell door, but she only shook her head.
"Report." Unit 2 cackled through the walkie-talkie, "What have you found?"
"Host 767 was located by chance at the Metropolis Shopping Center, but he got away."
"I can't believe this! What sort of agent are you to allow that stupid, weak lab rat get away? Your emotions became involved and you let him slip away! You're unreliable, Unit 1!" The younger agent erupted through the receptor, but Unit 1 clicked it off with tears held back in her chocolate eyes. The sun was setting and the sky was a bland blue and green.
Damaris hid himself until the moon was halfway across the sky and the stars had multiplied to uncountable numbers. The wind was a wild wine against his fur. It was time to return "home", as he found himself referring to Maria's bedroom. Yes, he knew it was safe, that the G.U.N. agents wouldn't find him for a few more days because of today's close incident, and so he could enjoy a week or so of carefree fun.
"Maria, why do you haunt me like this?" He sprang upward into a tree and lunged to the top of a house, "You're right about me: I am selfish and immature. I only think about myself and I ignore other people's needs. This is wrong, how can I make it right? If only I could say this to you but I just can't… I'm a coward." A few more jumps from house to house and he landed on the roof beside Maria's window. The lights were off but the window was open; good. Damaris propped the screen, sliding through the square gap, but when he tried to put the screen back, it clacked loudly. Scowling, he shoved it crookedly through the window. The slick metal frame slid from his fingers and the whole screen toppled through the trees and into the darkness.
"Great…" He whispered aloud in the darkness.
"Damaris? What did you just do?"
"Uh, ah!" He looked left and right, "The door was locked so I came in through the window."
"And busted my screen. I saw it I just wanted to see if you were going to lie to me again."
"I don't lie that much…" He wishy-washily shuffled over to the side of her bed, looking at his shoes, "Do I?"
"Yes. You do."
"Hey, Maria, can you please drop it for now? Some stuff happened while I was gone that I don't wanna talk about. Please?" He couldn't tell who was more embarrassed: Maria for her accidental spurt of emotion that afternoon or himself for having not returned to the house? When Maria didn't bring it up or pursue the current subject, he relaxed a little.
"Come sit on the bed with me, Damaris."
"Are…are you going to hurt me?"
"No," her voice was soft," I just want to tell you something. It's nothing bad."
"Ok," Damaris unbuckled his shoes and kicked them a foot away then hopped up on the bed, but across from her. "What?" Silk hands wrapped around him, pulling him towards Maria till she was right in front of him. He could see her pretty well in the darkness and it was apparent that she could see him as well.
"Who's your mother?"
"What's this about? I don't understand." She was angry, he decided, but what was she doing by asking him this? Damaris didn't have a mother, at least not for the past fourteen years of his life-not someone he could truly call a mother anymore.
"Shh! That's why we talk, so we can confide in each other. This conversation may not start out making any sense, but that's only because more information needs to be exchanged. Damaris, don't you ever look at yourself in the mirror and wish you were someone else?"
"Yes… I do…" His hand reached back over hers and there followed a moment of silent astonishment on both sides for his actions. "And no, I do not have a mother. I haven't for a long time. No father either. No family."
"Oh, Damaris, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry for me. I've been without them for so long that it's natural to be on my own these days." Flim caused his voice to sound raspy. "What do these questions lead to?"
"Nowhere I guess. Sha-I mean I used to stand by a large window years ago with my closest friend and talk about frivolous things as these. It helps to relax one's mental condition I guess." Somehow the cute chuckles coming from her throat didn't convince Damaris that Maria took this topic lightly. He longed to learn who was with her but felt he couldn't ever be able to ask.
"What was it like with that friend? What was your life like?"
"Simple I should say. Routine. It was calm and bittersweet. Nothing really like it is now."
I wish my life were like that. "Maria?"
"Oh, Damaris…" Maria's voice crackled and he knew she was crying. Those silent, repressed tears could hold themselves no longer and he hadn't even realized it. Everything she did was refined, completed with at much dignity possibly mustered. Some things just weren't meant to remain unknown and overlooked and Damaris's heart clenched sadly hearing her sniffles and gasps.
"Don't, don't cry, Maria. Whatever I did, I'm sorry."
"There's so many things you've done that hurt me. Little, stupid things that I know you didn't have any clue about. You-" Another interrupting sob-"You didn't mean to hurt me so but you did and I couldn't bring it up again. We're not supposed to hold grudges against other people-or hedgehogs-or anyone and I'm not mad at you. But this is not why I'm crying."
"Why are you crying then?"
Damaris was propped up on his knees on the bed, Maria drooping slightly as she sat on the bed, with his hand outlined against hers. Their fingers were cracked apart. He let his large hand slide through her fingers and close securely around her smaller one. He stared into her emerald-blue eyes; they stared back. Something inside those eyes compelled him to lean forward.
-ZOEGIRL: Love Me For Me-
She watched him shift upward to match her height and lean closer. Maria's hand was warmed within his engulfing palm and it felt so right to have him here to protect her. And he was going to… he was coming…
Just when their mouths were centimeters apart, Maria's eyes opened and she withdrew in partial horror. "No, I can't." Was her strained reply, "We can't."
"Why? Is it because I'm not good enough for you? Why? Is it because there's someone else or is it because perhaps I'm not normal?"
"No, Damaris, it's none of those."
Erupting with tears of anger, Damaris jumped from the bed, "Is it because I'm not human? Is THAT it?" No response and he knew that was the true reason. They were too different. He had dared to love her and she acknowledged feelings in return but the barriers of species kept them apart! "This-this isn't right! Just cuzz I'm a hedgehog and you're a human doesn't mean we can't love each other! And you know what? I DO love you so there! You can't do nothing to stop my feelings for you and if there's anyone to blame for my feelings, it's you for even bothering to help me! All this could have been avoided. I was just someone on the streets last week until you came along and tripped over me!"
"Please stop!"
No one could make him stop. Damaris was burning up with hopeless anger. The leather straps on his quills shone in the moonlight; his form was outlined against the curtains and it was backing away slowly. "You cared enough to feel concern for me." His voice was hushed, "And that was your first mistake. Then you found yourself being sucked into this void where love can never be returned. I've never had anyone to love me the way I feel right now and I just-just-just-I don't know what I need anymore! No one's ever cared what I need and I guess I don't know anymore either!"
"What are you talking about? Tell me what's wrong."
"Maria, I can see you for who you are and I know you can't be that thick-headed not to know what's wrong. They're coming for me. They're coming and perhaps it's best I let them have me this time. Maybe I can find a way through that to make you accept me. Search your heart. The body is just a shell to who we truly are. Who am I; who are you?"
"Come back, Damaris! Please come back!"
Damaris bounded from the screen less window out onto the grass below and bolted into the black night, leaving Maria sobbing heavily into her pillows. This was her fault. Something was wrong with Damaris besides a broken heart and she had to find out what was going on and where he was going. Who was after him?