Summary: A seafaring adventure of an ominous nature. Really.

Dias de los Muertos
All Saints'

November 1st
All Saints' Day Midnight

The moon glinted on the fangs of the wolf as he stood over the pit. The reflecting light made it appear as though the creature were grinning. The wolf howled at the moon once in his pleasure. He was very satisfied at the turn of events, especially how quickly McNair had fallen for the trap.

In the wolf pit below lay the unconscious form of Walden McNair. His leg was broken, but he would be able to get out once he regained consciousness. Of course, he'd have to deal with all of the booby traps Lupin had left in the pits this afternoon. The injury insured that the Executioner for the Ministry of Magic would not be following Hagrid for several days and the trail would be cold by then.

Lupin found where he had cached his backpack and gripped the strong straps with his jaws. He estimated the time and thought that the Aurors were probably already on their way, but perhaps he could still spot them on the horizon. His werewolf eyes allowed him to follow the Ferryman, so he now moved at a fast lope.

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The Shore

Moody's magic eye was spinning in wild agitation as he and Tonks confronted the Ferryman on the beach. Everything was going wrong! First they had to chase Hagrid and his brother around in circles before 'killing' them. That simple task had eaten up precious time. Then transporting them to the shore had been very draining as it required both levitation and concealment.

Then nce on the shore, the Ferryman had insisted on a close inspection of the cargo. That had begun an hour ago. The boatman wore a long dark, hooded cape, but one could see the bony white fingers extending as he pointed to Hagrid and his brother.

He dropped the deep, ominous tone with which he had greeted them and said petulantly, "Oi, they're not dead."

"Of course they're dead," insisted Moody.

"No they're not."

"They're not breathing!" raged Moody.

"Look, if anyone knows Dead 'round here, that would be me. Carting the Dead around is my business, see, so I know the Dead and that lot ain't them."

"You can't even feel a pulse on them."

"I saw 'em move." The Ferryman crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest.

"No you didn't, their arms just slid down when you poked them with your foot."

"Had to test for pain reflexes; that'll put the spirit back in folk trying to take advantage of my services. And I'm telling you, they ain't dead." He flung his head back to turn his nose up at them. The hood slipped back and revealed his face.

Tonks at this point was fed up with the argumentative boatman, but she had stumbled on a revelation. The grizzled witch walked up to the Ferryman, grabbed a fistful of his shirt and said gruffly, "Now listen here, De Burgh-"

The Ferryman flinched when she said the name.

"Oh, didn't think I'd know who you were, did you, De Burgh?"

"De Burgh?" repeated Moody. "Who's De Burgh?"

"He's De Burgh," said Tonks over her shoulder as she still held the man who was now openly wincing and trying to cover his ears. "Pops recognized De Burgh on the Muggle telly when I was a tyke. I thought it was all made up, but I bet you thought you'd make a name for yourself, didn't you, De Burgh?"

"No, no, stop, I'll ferry them across, just don't call me-that!" The man was clearly whining now.

"And you don't get paid for taking us across, either, until we're at the other side," said Tonks as she released the man.

"Now wait just a minute-"

"De Burgh, De," began Tonks

"Right then. Well, what are you waiting for? Get 'em on so I can shove off," said the disgruntled wizard. "Tarnish a poor man's name like that, use a youthful folly against 'im..."

The Aurors wiped at their foreheads in synchrony and used the last of their energy to put the cargo in place while the Ferryman sulked in silence.

The ferry magically enlarged to accommodate any cargo. Although the boat would lurch horribly on the North Sea crossing, it would never capsize. The boatman made a point of not informing his passengers of this fact. The fear induced in his living passengers was a great source of entertainment for him. He used his long pole to push off from the shore.

Tonks and Moody leaned back against the rail once they had Hagrid and his brother secured. She was about to talk to Moody, but her partner was busy downing the contents of his flask as quickly as he could.

"Go easy there, mate," said the old witch.

"Look, you have your chocolate, I have my liquid comfort. Need to relax for the crossing."

"But you flew over these seas on a broom, Mad-Eye."

"That was a broom, not a boat," he replied as he took another drink as the Ferryman shifted the rudder to catch a strong wave that lurched the boat.

"Suit yourself," she replied, but she did take a chunk of chocolate from the bar she'd brought out.

Unfortunately, it took no time at all for the Ferryman to commence with his incessant grumbling. "And to think of the coin I'm losing tonight of all nights. It's Halloween and I'm toting cargo practically gratis, is what I'm doing..."

Tonks was seriously thinking of casting a silencing spell when she saw a large wolf loping along the shore and leap into the water.

"It's Remus!" shouted Tonks as she pointed to the furry mass swimming toward the ferry. "Wait for our friend, Ferryman."

"Friend? Whatcha mean, friend? That's a werewolf, that is. I ain't gonna-"

"De Burgh, De Burgh, De Burgh," began chanting Tonks quickly in her gruff voice as she chased the Ferryman around the deck of the ferry while he continually winced.

"Augh! My brain's melting, stop!"

While Tonks was torturing the Ferryman, Moody had extended his long staff to hoist the backpack from the Werewolf. After dropping his effects on the deck, Moody extended it again to help Lupin out of the water. He lay panting on the deck for a moment as Tonks finally relented and let the Ferryman see to his task.

"Get to work," she said as she walked quickly over to the dripping Lupin.

"And what am I supposed to do with 'im?" whined the Ferryman as he pointed to the Werewolf. "He ain't human and he ain't dead!"

"Then he doesn't exist for you, now does he?" responded Tonks firmly.

The Ferryman raised his finger to argue the point, but stopped. His eyes seemed to be scanning the back of his brain for a problem with this logic, but his horrifying encounter with his pseudonym had vanquished rational thought.

"Right, the Werewolf does not exist for me, although the bugger's almost a story tall and is dripping all over my precious boat."

Tonks let the tirade fall on deaf ears as she approached Lupin. Moody was about to wave his wand over him ostensibly to dry the fur, but the Werewolf stood on all fours and gave a mighty shake.

"Ew! And I thought wet dog was stinky," said Tonks as she joined Moody in drying off the fur.

"And how am I supposed to ignore that? And I bet he sheds!" raged the Ferryman. "It's exploitation, I tell you. First Dead as is not Dead, then you don't trust me to take you across lessen you keep the fee. And I don't suppose anyone's paying passage for this one, are they? I've been commandeered, I have..."

The Ferryman turned away, but soon they could hear him calling incantations.

The dry Werewolf just nudged Tonks' hand with his nose and sat down on his haunches by her. The old witch sat on the bench by the rail on the deck and stroked the soft fur.

"The spell is starting. Remember, nothing out there can get to the boat," said Moody. He took another swig from his flask. "And Dumbledore says none of us can fall off this damn bucket to a horrible, watery death below unless the boatman does it, so we'd best alternate keeping watch."

"Hey, you're not supposed to know that," said the Ferryman in a tone of accusation.

"Thanks for that comforting thought, Mad-Eye," said Tonks, but she leaned against the warm fur of her companion and began to relax.

The Ferryman stooped his shoulders and whined about not having any fun at all on this trip. His shoulders were stooped in a sulk as he focused his attentions back on his work. The Ferryman was a powerful, if bizarre, wizard. As he chanted, the world around them changed from the cold, cloudy night with a full moon to an infinite horizon where ethereal bodies floated across the skies.

Moody felt the dulling effects of the fire whisky flowing through him. He scanned the deck in satisfaction as his eyes took in the boatman at work, the cargo securely stored, and the haggard crone leaning against the Dark Creature. What a pair they made, he thought, but his heart felt a pang of envy. "I'll take first watch."

The Auror stood there with his tall staff in one hand. He would use it occasionally to point out one of the spectral bodies that hovered over them. The Werewolf would nod his head as if to agree and point to another phantom with a tilt of his snout.

Tonks yawned. Leave it to Lupin to treat a ride with the Ferryman as another opportunity for research. As the grizzled witch leaned her head against the shoulder of the Werewolf at her side, she thought it odd that she would think this evening as any bit romantic.

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St. Andrews, Scotland
All Saint's Day Dusk

The spectral boat traveled on its own path across the North Sea. It was twilight on the first day of November as they finally reached the Scottish shore. Lupin had slept soundly after he transformed in the morning.

Darkness remained over the ferry until the boatman finally called, "Land ho, time to pay up."

"Where are we landing?" asked Lupin as he began to stir. His human body was still paying for the exertions of the wolf the night before.

"St. Andrews," replied Tonks who remained in her Aunt Dora guise.

"Perfect. It's All Saints' Day," said Lupin.

"I thought you'd appreciate the coincidence," said Tonks as she stood and looked around. The magical darkness surrounding the boat concealed it from human eyes as well as the Wizarding World.

"Just in time for our next connection, too," said Moody. "Looks like Dumbledore was successful."

"Eh, what's this about a connection?" asked the Ferryman as he began rubbing his hands as he anticipated receiving the fee. "And I'll take my fee now!"

The Ferryman snatched at the golden boughs Moody proffered as payment for the passage of the living. The boatman had already called the coins from his cargo. He grunted in satisfaction as he tested that the boughs were real gold.

"There she is," called Moody who was scanning the horizon. He pointed to a barge that had suddenly appeared next to them on the shore.

"The Lady of the Lake," said Tonks with a grimace. The woman seemed to be ageless and elegant, if a bit dramatic.

A woman dressed in white stood on the barge in regal splendor with her hands open wide. She seemed to be rather intent on maintaining this pose. Her saccharin voice carried quite well. "Welcome, dear ones. I offer you my aide in your dire time of need. I will clasp you to my bosom and succor you!"

"And you mean that literally, don't you, you trollop!" chided the Ferryman. He turned to Moody and asked in an offended tone, "You trust that watery tart with your cargo?"

"I am not a tart, you bag of bones!" screeched the Lady as she lost her divine pose. She recovered quickly and struck another elegant posture as she said, "I'm just part water nymph."

Lupin stood by Tonks and seemed puzzled, "Nimue?"

"You know her?" asked Tonks archly.

"I know of her; it's Sirius who, ahem, knew her," explained Lupin. Then he added quickly, "She makes a regular circuit of the lake at Hogwarts, although the cycle takes years. That's how Sirius fell into her clutches."

"How come I've never heard of her?" asked Tonks.

"Because you're a girl," Lupin explained. "She doesn't show up very often as it is and never to a girl at Hogwarts."

"She just doesn't like competition," said the Ferryman, then he called to his nemesis, "You're an open port to any boat that wants to dock."

"Any man except you, you little leech," said the Lady crossly before striking yet another pose.

"Mad-Eye, should we really trust her?" asked Tonks as she considered Lupin's latest peril. He was to remain with Hagrid and his brother in order to revive them once they were safe.

"She's the quickest route," confirmed Moody.

"She's fast and loose all right," muttered the Ferryman.

"Hmf," said Tonks. She thumped Lupin on the back with her large hand as she called out to the woman, "This one's taken, you hear?"

The Lady seemed to inspect Lupin with great consideration until he called, "I'm a werewolf."

"Oh, what a pity the full moon was last night," pouted the Lady. "Still, big feet, big nose, surely you must have a-"

"Told you she's little more than a dockside strumpet," said the Ferryman rather loudly as Tonks and Lupin rolled their eyes.

"That does it, I'm going with Hagrid and you're going home," said Tonks insistently to Lupin. She was rolling up her sleeves and marching over to the barge when Lupin grabbed her arm.

"Wait, do you have any more chocolate on you?" asked Lupin. Tonks reached into her pocket and pulled out the remains of the Honeydukes bar. "Perfect. It's the way Sirius got rid of her."

Lupin took a large piece, popped it into his mouth and said, "I should warn you that I also constantly eat chocolate."

The nose of the Lady of the Lake wrinkled in distaste. "What a disgusting habit!"

"I'll just stay close to my friends so that I won't offend your delicate senses," assured Lupin as he pointed to Hagrid and the giant.

"You do that," said the Lady with her hands on her hips and harped like a fishwife. "Don't even breathe in my direction, you hear?"

"Hold on, I hate chocolate! How come you won't take me on, eh?" cried the Ferryman.

"Because your very being offends my delicate senses, now, go away!"

"Well, now that's settled, let's get to work. We can move Hagrid and his brother without much effort."

"Speak for yourself," said Lupin as he focused. He left his wand tucked into his belt and just reinforced Tonks and Moody's levitation spell.

The darkness finally fell as they completed the transfer with the Ferryman and the Lady constantly exchanging invectives in the background. The Ferryman finally shoved off in a huff, calling over his shoulder, "Wanton Jezebel!"

"I'll just make sure Hagrid and the giant are secure," said Moody as he stepped on the barge to check the cargo.

Moody's own virtue was soon being compromised since he had to avoid the constant advances of the Lady of the Lake. "And aren't you going to join the voyage? You look like you could use a good..."

The voices fell off as Tonks turned her attention to Lupin one last time before he boarded the barge.

"Better keep it zipped, Lupin," said the grizzled witch by way of farewell and added a curt nod. Still, she shoved another bar of Honeydukes at him.

Lupin could only smile at her possessiveness. He took the chocolate bar but clasped her hand for a moment and said, "I'll just indulge my passion for chocolate until I see you again. With luck that will be tomorrow."

Lupin got on the barge as Moody stomped off as quickly as he could while he used his walking stick to poke back the Lady's advances. The Aurors saw Lupin quickly settled into the far side of the barge with the large bodies of Hagrid and his companion between him and the Lady of the Lake.

The old Auror with the stumpy leg and the grizzled hag watched the barge slowly disappear. Tonks didn't bother dropping her Aunt Dora disguise since Lupin would not have been able to see her anyway. But she did return his salute before he vanished in the night.

TBC

Author Notes:
I hope I have not offended anyone with the way I used the Ferryman of the Dead (Charon) or the Lady of the Lake, who I chose to refer to as Nimue rather than Viviene or other name. I was playing it all for laughs. If you got a glimmer of Monty Python from it, then it met my intention. The phrase watery tart was specifically stolen, in fact.

Chris De Burgh sang the Don't Pay the Ferryman song that has a memorable video. No offense to him or his fans, it was just strong imagery and a quirky idea.

There's a final chapter that deals with a Tonks/Lupin reunion that leads into the fourth seduction lesson on All Souls' Day, November 2. That's being posted right after I finish this one.

Thanks for reading. Hope you got a laugh.