Ketsi: We have very little to say of this fic…

Helen: Most people are really depressed when they write these…

Ketsi: But….we were simply watching the second half of that big fight Kai had with Tyson in G-Rev…

Helen: And we were inspired.

Ketsi: So…it's a fic. And, like all of my fics, it has Yaoi. This one is… -takes deep breath- Kai x Tala x Rei x Tala x Kai x Rei x Kai.

Helen: You get the idea.

Ketsi: We made up the hospital. I've no idea what hospitals there are in Moscow. So sue me.

Helen: She's joking. Don't.

I used to be a spacer-

He was always pretty, Kai. He had the most fantastic eyes.

Kai Hiwitari…he even had a beautiful name.

But we had a problem.

Every time he got hurt, he became more handsome. I remember one of his fights with Tyson - he was beaten up so badly - and he seemed to shine.

That was his problem. The more he hurt, the more pain that was caused to him, the more beautiful he became. His eyes shone brighter, he seemed to glow.

Looking at him now, I half expected him to spread Angel wings and fly away.

Or maybe it was just hope.

Open your eyes, Kai.

Please.

But it's no use. You'll never open your eyes. Ever again.

Will you, koi?

I used to be a spacer-

I stared at Kai, one hand on the coffin. The mere thought of the word 'coffin' caused me to shudder as I gazed at my Kai. A single tear slipped out from under my closed eyelids, and when I opened them again they were full of tears. I didn't care anymore who saw me.

"Oh, Kai," I whispered, another tear slipping down my cheek. "Why now? Why ever?"

My angel. Angel Hiwitari.

"Tala…" A voice murmured from next to me. I turned and saw Rei, his face tear stained.

"Oh, gods…Rei…" I looked into the huge sad eyes of the Chinese boy. We were both so much in love with Kai - in essence, we shared him. "I love him so much." I choked. "Loved."

"I want him back," Rei said hoarsely. It was obvious that he had been crying for a long time. I, however, hadn't cried until now. I had kicked, screamed, beaten the shit out of Bryan and Spencer, but I'd not cried.

Right now, I needed someone - anyone - to hug me, to hold me and tell me everything would be alright.

Unemotional Tala my arse.

By the looks of it, our neko-jin looked like he needed someone too. I turned my gaze back to Kai and felt a hand grasp mine. I gave Rei a smile, trying to reassure him - and me.

The hand I had on the coffin had a ring on it.

A diamond ring.

An engagement ring.

I used to be a spacer-

I thought back to the day when I had received the phone call. I had been cooking for him when the phone rang. I suspected it would be Kai, phoning on the way back from the airport after going to see Tyson and Max, for some reason or another.

I picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Is this the Ivanov household?"

Soon to be Ivanov-Hiwitari- I thought happily, glancing at the ring on my hand. "Yes."

"This is the Moscow State Hospital. We have a…Kai Hiwitari here."

I went pale. I knew that because of the huge mirror next to the phone. Kai had insisted I move it from the spare room to the kitchen because, in his words - 'I want to do my hair whilst being on the phone, and I'm always in here because you're in here.'

As the person one the phone spoke, I slid down the wall, not hearing most of it.

"…and we are worried that he may not survive…"

I heard that.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

I threw down the phone and ran out of the house, barely remembering to turn the cooker off so I didn't lose the house as well as my fiancé, grabbing keys and a cell phone.

I dialled Rei's cell phone number and jammed the keys into the ignition. He picked up the phone and I held the phone in place between my head and shoulder.

"Rei? It's Tala. Where are you? Bryans? That's fine. Just…get to the hospital. Now. Yes. And ask for Kai."

I dropped the phone onto my knees, not caring whether I broke it or not. Bryan didn't live that far from the hospital, and I could make it there at around the same time as Rei if I put my foot down.

I used to be a spacer-

I looked down at Kai again, scars hardly formed on his face where the window had shattered and cut him. My angel was dressed in a suit, but he had his scarf on, and his blue stripes. At least they covered most of the scars.

"Is it wrong to touch him?" Rei asked, squeezing my hand gently.

"I'm not sure," I replied, wiping away the hot tears that were flowing freely. "But we loved him, right? And he - he loved us. So…we should."

I watched as Rei took Kai's hand. He shuddered. "So…cold. Kai was never this cold."

I pushed back Kai's hair and gasped. I had found a deep, brutal looking cut.

"Is that…what killed him?" Rei asked, trying to control his voice.

"I'm not sure. The doctors told me…but I was…sort of zoned out." A fresh bout of tears surged forward.

I used to be a spacer-

Somehow, I had gotten to the hospital before Rei.

When I saw him, I wished I was blind. There were too many cuts, and though his eye were only half open, I could see the slits of scarlet glowing inside. "May I talk to him?" I had asked.

The doctor shrugged. "You can try, but he may not reply."

"I don't care," I said, walking in and sitting down next to Kai.

He lay there, glowing faintly as I whispered to him. "Kai. Kai, darling. Stay with me."

Kai had murmured something, causing me to jump and take his hand. "Please Kai. Talk to me."

"Tala…" he had said softly. "How's my hair?"

I smiled, my eyes burning. "Beautiful. As always."

Kai gave me a small smile in return. "And Rei. Where is Rei?"

"He's coming," I reassured him, rubbing my thumb over his palm. "He'll be here soon."

Right on cue, Rei opened the door and gasped at the sight of Kai. Our Kai. He was out of breath, and his hair was coming undone. "Oh, Kami, Kai!"

He ran to Kai's other side and picked up his hand. "What happened to you?"

"A car crash," I told Rei, saving Kai the trouble and the energy. "A car hit him. They said that -" I stopped myself before I let it slip out. But by the look of it, our Kai-koi already knew.

"I'm going to die," he said. "They didn't close the door when they told you."

"But…how do you feel?" I asked shakily. I knew he was badly hurt, the way he glowed told me that. I just wanted to know if he was in pain.

"I feel numb," Kai said quietly, barley audible over Rei's sobs. "I can't feel my body."

"Can you feel us here?" Rei asked. I watched as his tears dripped onto Kai's hand as he squeezed it.

"Not at all," Kai replied calmly. "But I know what you feel like, and I know you're there."

I watched in horror as his eyes slipped shut. "No, no…Kai…please…"

"Pointless." Kai replied breathily. "I'm going now."

I couldn't believe how calmly he accepted what was happening. "Don't leave me," I whispered. No-one heard me.

Rei picked up Kai's hand and kissed it. "I love you Kai." I did the same, echoing his words.

"I love you both," Kai whispered, taking a last, deep breath and sighing.

When Kai didn't breathe in again, I shook. I looked up and saw Rei in floods of tears.

"Goodbye," I murmured to Kai's still form, my fingertips light on his face.

I used to be a spacer-

I realised I had almost been in a trance as I had relived that day, and as my eyes refocused on Kai's body, my legs gave way completely. Luckily, Rei caught and steadied me.

I turned around and threw my arms around his neck. "We'll never see him again after this," I sobbed into his hair. Rei hugged me back, crying into my shoulder.

"It will be to strange without Kai," Rei whispered. "He held everything together."

Including us, I thought, turning back to see my Angel.

My Angel Hiwitari.

Who would never be here for us.

Ever again.

Angel Hiwitari.

I used to be a spacer-

Kai: It's nice to know you love me, Ketsi.

Ketsi-cries- I do, Kai!

Helen: We almost couldn't type this up, because she was crying so bad.

Tala: I said 'arse'.

Helen: We're British. Get over it.

Tala: BUT I SAID ARSE!

Helen-laughs- You said it again.

Tala-grumbles-

Kai: Review this. She may kill your favourite character next if you don't.

Ketsi-get out the chainsaw-