Part 3: Fast Car

It was the end of the day and I found myself walking up and peering into the window. She was sitting at the counter with her long, beautiful hair falling over her face. The realization of how amazing she was, once again took my breath away. Even when I was sitting in class looking over some test I knew I was going to fail but knew that she's in love with me would make that test seem like a waste of my time…the time that should be only devoted to her and only her.

She glanced up and her eyes glowed as she waved for me to come in. "Max, she's happy to see YOU. Don't look too ecstatic that she wants you or do anything stupid! Be calm and cool. It's only been an hour and a half since you last saw her," I reminded myself once more time but slowly forgot as the scent of her was overpowering me.

"Hi," her lips curled to the side as her eyes squinted from the glare of the sun.

"Hello beautiful, how was your day?" I asked as she rested her palm on my chest that was slowly creeping its way up behind my neck.

"Great, and yours?" I could feel the hairs on my neck tingle from the sensations.

"Perfect now," was all I could mutter out before she pulled me down for a kiss. I sighed, the bittersweet emotions of leaving her came down to this because after not being in her presence made our affection more passionate. But just as the eager craving her body against mine was about to erupt, the distant sound of an, "Ahem," broke our kiss.

"Ahem," Maria cleared her throat a little bit louder this time while she separated us. "Max, you're making her glow again!" she mentioned quietly, "You guys have got to learn how to control your PDA."

"Thanks Maria." The girls giggled and I just had to make sure nobody else saw.

She slipped her hand into mine and our eyes locked. Her lips curled again to the side as she said, "Hey Max, it's okay." If only she knew just how much her smile comforted me…

"God, I love you Liz."

beepbeepbeep

My eyes slowly opened at the flashing digital numbers on the alarm clock. "Fuck, it was just a memory." Why couldn't I just show her how much I loved her and not just think that she would wait around for me forever.

October 02, 2008

Dear Stephen,

I'm moving to another apartment complex tomorrow because I think my parents have tracked me down. It hurts me so much to hide from them and to not let them into my life or their grandson's. When I left, I made it clear that I wasn't kidnapped or anything like that, but I had to leave to get away. Every now and then, they would find out where I live and start asking around since they own a restaurant, back in Roswell, and they run a credit check on me. It's hard because they won't let me go.

One time, when I was pregnant with Caleb, some nosy, old lady asked me what I was running from while we were at the doctor's office. I told her to mind her own business but she said she could help me. Nobody could have helped me because, at the time, I needed to be independent. It was my problem to fix. Michael, a friend of mine, once told me that your own poison is sweeter or something like that. I don't remember exactly what it was but the point was that it may be hard to struggle on your own but you become stronger.

I first left my family right after my high school graduation, and we had literally nothing except the clothes on our back and the van. It was okay though because for the first time in my life I was happy. We had each other and that was the only thing that mattered. Yes, money was scarce since we would only stop long enough to save a little bit of money. Michael was the only one of us who really knew how to budget and accommodate to what little we had.

Nothing lasts forever…at least it doesn't for me. I'm just hoping that I won't forget anything that happened. I don't want to forget happiness so I spent the whole night looking through pictures. I don't have much because I always had to move around pretty lightly. Slipping in and out from one place to another was just apart of our lifestyle, but I do wish I had more pictures. Max and I always did spontaneous things and stuff like classes attendance and detention never got in the way. I always had my camera with me. Oh, I wish I could show you all the crazy times we've had!

Well, this is the final letter. You have no idea how much you have helped me even if it was just be receiving my letters. I really do appreciate everything you are and everything you have done. I apologize for taking so much of your time and I won't do it again. I hope that you are having a wonderful life because no one deserves it more than you. Who else would listen to a stranger? Just please don't think that this isn't real because this is my life and it is how real and unsheltered as it gets.

Love Always,

Liz

Author's note:

1 Fast Car – "Fast Car" is sung by Tracy Chapman

"Fast Car" lyrics

You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young to look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs
You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way