Part 4: Remember Me
The annoying sound of my alarm clock went off but all it did was confirm what time it was, 4:45 AM. I've been up for about twenty minutes already just staring out the window. I don't mind much since I'm usually up before dawn anyway. There's just something about watching the sunrise lighting up my room that's intense. That feeling…it seems like it numbs my pain away and it's the only part of the day that I enjoy. Other than those few moments of silence, I like to keep myself busy; it saves me from thinking too much.
She was consumed in my dream tonight, and I guess that's why I'm up especially early. So I sat there just dazing away thinking about what she was doing that very moment. It was always hard for me to concentrate on organizing and planning my day or what I needed to accomplish with her on his mind; heck it was hard for me to do anything with her on my mind. If I had to remember to breathe, I'd probably be blue and white right now with the alarm clock still buzzing.
My dream wasn't exactly about her though since she was never actually present. At first, I was wearing my black suit and I thought it was the day I got married but it wasn't. It was Alex's wake. Then the memories started to flood to me of how Isabel used to be so happy. How I used to be happy. And then, I felt the dying pain I caused Liz to feel after Alex was murdered. I could feel it in her that resolving his murder was her only reason to live after I betrayed and stopped believing in her. The feeling was still in my chest and in my stomach. How could I have done that to her?
I closed my eyes to try and push the memories away.
"Your destiny is with Tess." His mother's voice kept ringing in his dream.
"No, I couldn't believe it! Tess isn't Liz. Liz! I have to go talk to her." He seemed to be sleeping in his own dream. He got up and started to walk to my house. When he got there, he just sat outside my old bedroom window, watching me. As he was resting his head against the brick wall, he looked as if he was finally comfortable to go back to sleep.
"Max," I saw myself speaking to him in his dream. "What are you doing out here? It's four o'clock in the morning."
"I just needed to sit out here for a moment. Is that okay? I'll go back home if you want."
"No, no, don't do that. I…ugh." I muttered to myself that I didn't want him to leave me.
"What is it, Liz?"
"Would you like to dance?" He smiled and took my hand.
It hit me and I finally remembered that night. I thought it was just some dream Max was making up but it wasn't. This was the night I was helping Maria with Alex's collage and I finally was able to cry myself to sleep. I made the dream up for Max after Ava explained all my new powers. I just needed him that night. Now Max was remembering it.
"Liz, this Alex thing. I don't want it to lose you."
"Shh..." There wasn't any music on as we slow danced in silence. We just rocked our bodies slowly together and as our eyes met, we kissed. Flashes of the day I found out Max was destined to be with Tess were exchanged between us. Then, I remembered the song "Remember Me This Way" and it started playing.
Tears started to form in my eyes as I saw myself so vulnerable and open to him. The lyrics started to overwhelm me as I began singing:
"I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way"
Author's note:
Remember Me – "Remember Me This Way" is sung by Vanessa Williams
"Remember Me This Way" lyrics
Every now and then we find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
But a part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
For ever more a part of me you're everywhere
I'll always care
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won't ever leave as long as you believe
You just believe...
Chorus:
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
Reeee-member meeee thiiiiias waa-aay...