In the Eye of the Wolf

Written by Becca


Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize


Chapter Two

As the days went on, Harry retreated further into himself and managed to get into a sort of routine. He would wake before any of the others and be gone before they even stirred; he never talked to anyone anymore and answered with a nod of his head and he always seemed to have his nose buried in a book. He didn't eat in the great hall and when Sirius or one of the other teachers dragged him there, he simply sat quietly and read. Once every two days he would go to the kitchens after nightfall and have dobby get him a sandwich. He attended all of his lessons and then spent the rest of his time either in the library or sat by the lake reading.

It had been two weeks now since the start of term and everyone had grown used to seeing the famous Harry Potter sat in a dark corner reading. They had even grown used to seeing him alone and never bothered to try and placate him with inane conversation anymore. It had taken his friends two minutes of seeing him to turn their back on him and it had taken the rest of the school a fortnight, something seemed a little off about that but Harry couldn't care less.

His grades rose drastically as he had nothing better to do than study. As the full moon loomed ever closer though, Harry grew tired much more often, he was sick at least three times a day and he basically felt like shit. Of course, no one else knew this and Harry worked hard to keep it that way. He didn't think he realized how hard this would be when he decided to return, though even if he did, he had nowhere else to go.

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Ron, Hermione, Draco and Luna were sat in the library after curfew. They had returned here every night for over a week now, trying to find some answers. They could all plainly see that there was something different about Harry, something he wasn't telling anyone but the only problem was finding that out. It was Luna who had set them on this particular track now, surprisingly enough.

She seemed to think Harry wasn't human anymore

Which of course, was preposterous

But the more they thought about it, the more they started to agree with her. A nagging voice in their minds and the sinking of their hearts had indicated that perhaps they should look. The more they read, the more they felt something twisting and gnawing in their stomachs and they couldn't fight it.

"Oh Merlin, remind me to give Lupin a medal" Draco said as he stared down at the page he was reading with wide eyes. "It is compared on the pain scale. Where Cruciatus curse hits the 10, the first transformation into a werewolf is double that. Less than 50% survive the first transformation and if they do, then the 'cub' inside makes the werewolf feel extremely insecure, to read more about this, turn to page 345"

They read through the needs of a new werewolf as well as the symptoms and what they went through around the full moon in detail from many books, hardly daring to believe the horror of the curse. Though thankfully, Harry didn't fit many of the symptoms they had found and so not one of them believed him unlucky enough to be stuck with that. But still, they couldn't dispel the idea and they wouldn't...just in case.

"Well. We'll be able to rule that out in just over a week anyway. We'll have to watch him close to see where he is on the full moon," Hermione said with a tight smile. Draco, Ron and Luna nodded, still staring down at the book in shock. Draco sighed and shook his head before throwing the book down on the table and picking up the next, this time looking at vampires.

"Maybe we should start preparing...for the worst, you know? I mean, what if – if he is...one of them? What are we going to do? How can we help him?" Ron asked, saying what they all were thinking. Hermione sighed and sat back in her chair, crossing her legs whilst she thought deeply about his question, even if she knew the answer.

"I know what I'm going to do. The same thing his father did for professor Lupin. The question is, do you three want to do the same? Do you want to take a risk like that?" she asked with a shrug, Draco, Ron and Luna exchanged looks and then stared at her as if she had lost her mind

"But, we're in our sixth year and that took the marauders the best part of five years...we haven't got time..." Ron said softly, but Hermione just smirked

"They didn't have me with them now did they? Things have changed since that time anyway; there are potions and charms that help the transformation along. If we start now and work on it every night for the next three maybe four months, I say we could have it done by then. Besides, even if we cant, life doesn't stop after Hogwarts Ron, we're not going to leave him just because school has finished"

"But – what, what if he is – one of those? I mean, what happens if he goes on the full moon but doesn't come back? What if he doesn't survive it? The book says that the ones who are alone the first time are more at risk of losing their mind..." Draco asked, swallowing hard. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Harry yet this year, but he still cared about the boy. Things had changed drastically over the summer holidays and before the first month was over, Draco found himself staying at the order headquarters with broken legs and god only knows what else.

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Harry heaved until he was choking up blood. He was on his knees in the bathroom and had his head over the toilet, coughing and spluttering. When there was nothing left to come up, he fell back and leant his head against the door, breathing heavily and staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering forward to three days time. he had read everything he could find on the subject and to say he wasn't looking forward to it was an understatement.

He hadn't bothered to heal his injuries from the summer, as he would just have to do so again after his transformation. He had lost a lot of blood though and was constantly light headed, when he stood up, he had to just stand still and let the dizziness pass. He couldn't remember how it felt to be healthy. He was terrified to put it simply and he had even thought about going to Snape and begging him for the wolfbane potion, but he shook that away quickly, he couldn't do that.

He knew that with the potion, the pain lessened by a full three-quarters and he would be able to keep his mind. But to get the potion would mean he would have to tell Snape and Snape would tell Dumbledore, and Dumbledore would tell Sirius and before long, everyone would know what he was. He wasn't ashamed, because he liked Remus and he knew it was possible to still be a good man, but he was scared of how people would treat him, he wasn't ready for that yet. They wouldn't understand why he had ran away and so he would have to tell them the full story and they probably wouldn't believe him...

He would have to go to the shrieking shack tomorrow to put up a load of new wards. He wouldn't risk anything and he had spent most of his free time now learning up on locking spells and the like. He knew he could lock the door to stop even Dumbledore from entering. It was times like now that Harry was glad for his power, without it, he didn't know what he would do.

He felt guilty about locking the werewolf out of his shack but Remus had the potion and could keep his mind whilst Harry couldn't. He just hoped to god that the Defence teacher didn't forget to take it, he would never forgive himself if he had. Remus would understand when it all came clear...hopefully. There was just nowhere else Harry could go. He would take the marauders map with him of course so that nobody could find him...

Merlin, he was petrified.

He closed his eyes as he could feel his stomach twitching; he had nothing left to throw up anymore, he had never felt so weak and light before. He was sure that he would be swept off his feet and pushed a good few miles in the next gust of wind that came along. He pushed himself to his feet shakily and leant against the door with his eyes closed, trying to get his balance. As he stood there, he couldn't stop his mind from flashing back to when everything in his life had all gone so wrong...

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Harry ran as fast as he could from the Dursleys house. It was in the dead of the night and he was terrified. He looked over his shoulder, his heart beating fast and he nearly cried when he saw his uncle chasing him. He was never going to escape from this, he would be killed before he even reached his sixth year at Hogwarts and there was nothing he could do...not that he didn't deserve it of course.

He couldn't live like this anymore. He collapsed to the floor at the end of Private Drive, unable to go any further and tucked his knees under his chin as he let his tears fall. Every single night now, every single night...it hurt so much and he could do nothing but just lie there and hope it finished soon, hope that there wouldn't be additional kicks, hope that his uncle wasn't in too good a mood or too bad a mood...

Behind him he heard the shout of his uncle and as he looked over his shoulder, he could see the man gaining on him. Harry closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to his knee and willed himself away, practically begging his own mind to think of something to save him. He gave in after a minute and kept his eyes closed, waiting for the hit he was positive he would receive. He found it rather ironic, even if no one else did, Harry Potter – the boy-who-lived, killed by a muggle when the Dark Lord himself couldn't manage it. Oh, it would be worth it just to see the look on old Voldemort's face...

His eyes screwed shut and his body rigid, Harry waited...and waited...and waited for this next blow but when it didn't come, he frowned and listened carefully. He hadn't heard a shout from his uncle for a good five minutes now actually...why wasn't he being dragged back into the Dursleys house and painfully murdered? Why wasn't he being punched and kicked for even daring to run? Why wasn't he in his cupboard, bleeding to death? He didn't dare to open his eyes in case his uncle was stood in front of him...he certainly didn't want the last thing he saw before he died to be his uncle's face...

After a minute, he had no other choice and so he slowly cracked one eye open, followed by the other and he just stared in shock. He seemed to be in the middle of a forest, fuck knows where. All he could see around him were tree's, stretching up tall over him, covering the night's sky with their leaves. He frowned and pushed himself to his feet carefully and then looked around as much as he could in the dark. He held his arm cradled against his stomach and staggered forward...maybe he should get out of the forest before he thought about collapsing again...

He walked slowly, trying not to make a single noise. Of all the places for him to end up, this had to be one of the worst. What on earth made him come here at all? He had obviously apparated somehow but what the fuck was he thinking about forests for? That was just totally stupid. He needed to get somewhere that could be at least remotely safe, especially with Voldemort on the loose.

He heard a noise behind him and jumped around, not caring about all the broken bones he has just jarred as his eyes shot open wide with horror. He heard a loud, long howl and quickly looked up to the sky, trembling when he saw the full moon.

He turned quickly and stumbled over a large root before dragging himself up and forward again. Running as fast as his injured body would allow, through the trees and bushes. Some part of him was aware of the noise he was making but he couldn't get himself to calm down. Eventually he tripped over another root and he fell to his knees. He buried his head in his hands and cried silently to himself, when he heard a twig snap near him, he slowly lifted his head and looked into the eyes of a wolf.

He tried to stand but fell back down immediately and before he knew it, he was lying on his back and the wolf had its two front paws on his chest, sniffing at him carefully. Harry swallowed hard and bit his lip, not moving a muscle. When the thing growled at him, he whimpered and snapped his eyes closed

"Please no, not now, please" he whispered, unable to believe he had just escaped from death into something much worse. "Please!" he choked and then did something he would regret for the rest of his life. He struggled. He wriggled out from under the wolf and then jumped to his feet, crying out as teeth sank into his arm and he fell to his knees again, uncaring and not bothering to fight as those same teeth tore at his neck and he fell into the darkness.

Harry groaned and shifted as he opened his eyes. He tried to struggle straight away when he saw he was in the arms of a hooded man. He was weak though and he couldn't even manage to sit up. The man saw he was a wake and laid him down on a bed, he didn't remove his hood but he took hooded hands to Harry's face and cupped his cheeks, looking into his eyes. Harry swallowed hard, fear evident in his emerald eyes

"I-" the man started roughly and then shook his head, stroking Harry's cheek gently "I- Merlin there are no words that could express my sorrow young one" he whispered again, his fingers lightly trailing over Harry's lips and down his neck. A tear fell on Harry's forehead and he frowned, wondering just who the hell this was, but then he remembered the night before and he swallowed hard, knowing immediately who this was.

"I'm so sorry" the man mumbled, pressing a kiss to his forehead and then his cheek and then on his lips. Harry just lay there; tense, wondering what the hell he was doing. Finally, the man pulled back and turned to leave, Harry lifted his head as much as he could, suddenly much more afraid than he had been when the man was touching him

"No! Please don't leave me!" he choked. The man stopped at the door and turned to look at him, Harry watched as his eyes flickered up to the scar before he shook his head and sighed. He moved to sit besides Harry and started stroking his cheek again; wiping away a tear Harry didn't know was there.

"I have a wife, kids. I can't cope with this Harry. I can't deal with the extra responsibility... if you were anyone else, anyone but Harry Potter...we would have given it much more thought. I'm sorry, I cant...this room, its been paid for until the end of the week...I have to leave before anyone sees me" and then he left.

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Harry sighed as he stared down at the huge bite in his arm, that didn't even appear to have started healing yet whilst the wounds he had received from the Dursleys were at least attempting to. He never did find out the name of the man who had ruined his life so... oh no, he wasn't naïve enough to blame the man for what had happened, it had been his fault more than anybody's and he knew that not everybody could get the wolfbane potion. What he blamed the man for though was not killing him when he had the chance.

He shook his head and pushed the door to the toilet cubicle open and slowly moved towards the sink to wash his hands. Draco Malfoy was washing his hands too and Harry pointedly ignored the look pity he received. His stomach clenched and his eyes opened with as he turned quickly and dove back in to the toilet, just getting his head over the basin before he threw up the rest of what he had eaten two nights ago but mostly blood. His throat was raw by the time he had finished dry heaving and only then did he notice the hand stroking his back soothingly.

He jumped away from the contact immediately and had his wand pointed at the blonde Slytherin before either of them could blink. When he realised what he had done, he shook his head and put his wand away again before washing his hands once more. He could feel those grey eyes on him as he moved but didn't dare look up. Eventually the blonde spoke.

"Harry, I – don't you think you should be in the hospital wing? What's wrong?" he asked, Harry turned quickly, jumping at the sound of another voice directed at him even if he was expecting it. He shook his head furiously and barely managed to suppress a wince by grabbing his stomach

"No. I – I'm fine. Really. Just something I ate. I have to go" he said and then moved faster than he was really able and wrenched open the door.

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Harry awoke – or stopped pretending to sleep – at five the next morning. He had work to do today before lessons, as the full moon would be the very next night. He had to prepare. Not only did he have set up the wards but he also had to find an alibi. Where he was going to get one of those, he didn't know. He slipped out from under the covers and shivered as a breeze passed him. He dressed up warmly and wrapped his invisibility cloak tightly around him, grabbing the marauders map on the way.

He knew he needed to be careful because all of the teachers had watched his strength deteriorate carefully and he knew there was only a matter of time before they found out what was wrong with him anyway. His appetite had increased almost triple his usual amount as well but that may have something to do with not being able to keep anything down. He opened the portrait hole and slipped out but stopped quickly when the Fat Lady started to say something, he slipped the hood off and allowed his head to appear

"Please. I'm sorry to wake you my lady, but please, don't tell anyone about my leaving. I need – I have to – please?" he asked, stuttering over his words. He knew the fat lady had a soft spot for him anyway; she had liked his mother, even if she couldn't stand his father. He had had to listen to this the last time he wanted to sneak out. He watched her eyes soften and she nodded, pressing a finger to her lips. Harry smiled and blew her a kiss before throwing his hood up again and quietly sneaking down the stairs.

He managed to get to the entrance hall without any trouble whatsoever but when he was there, just about to open the door, he saw Snape approaching from the dungeons passage and he pressed himself tight against the wall and held his breath for as long as he could. He watched the dot on the map come closer until he could see the man and he winced when Snape stopped, not so far in front of him and looked around with narrowed eyes. He forgot that Snape seemed to have a second sense when it came to invisibility cloaks, who could blame him after what James did?

Finally, after what felt like hours to Harry, Snape turned on his heel and carried on up the steps to the next corridor. Harry waited until he was out of the way before pulling the huge front doors open and slipping out quickly. Only when they were shut again did he allow himself to breath a sigh of relief. He walked slowly and carefully across the grounds of Hogwarts until he came to the Whomping Willow and then he searched for a stick to prod at the knot.

Once he was inside the shrieking shack, he warded every single room shut and locked before he went to the one furthest from the entrance. There, he threw up a strong silencing charm, a spell to make sure that he wasn't able to break any of the furniture and an even stronger unbreakable charm on the door. With that done, he finally placed locking charms on the door and on the window and then looked around, checking he had done everything that was possible.

He placed up a few disillusion charms around the outside of the willow as well as a repelling charm. With that done, he looked at his watch and saw that he was late for his first lesson, again. He was completely and utterly drained of all energy but he knew he could not miss this day, especially this lesson, as it was Defence Against the Dark Arts with Sirius and Remus.

He hurried back inside the castle and folded his invisibility cloak under his bed before grabbing his book bag and then he groaned. Gryffindor house was already pissed at him for the amount of points he had lost this week alone, always late, always day-dreaming (staring off into space, pissing himself as he thought of what was coming up) or always falling asleep. He sighed and paused outside of the door to straighten his robes before walking inside, he murmured his apologies to his two teachers but he noticed Remus's head had snapped up when he entered and the werewolf was sniffing with narrowed eyes. Harry quickly waved his hand to mask his scent and breathed a sigh of relief.

He sat in the back of the room again and drifted between the darkness and reality. He was aware of the intensity in which his two teachers were watching and so he tried his hardest to make himself seem more awake than he was. He hated his life.

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Harry found Colin Creevey as soon as classes had finished and dragged the boy into an unused classroom. When inside, he threw up a strong silencing charm and then turned to the confused Gryffindor and studied him carefully. If there were anyone he could trust for this, it would have to be Colin. "I need to ask you a favour Colin," he said desperately and then sighed at the utter bewildered expression the boy now wore. Colin was a pain in the ass but he was as loyal as they come and so when he nodded, Harry smiled at him softly "Tomorrow night, I need you to disappear from sight...Don't let anyone see you. Not Gryffindors or any other houses and especially not teachers. I'll lend you my invisibility cloak even to help. This is really, really important," he said, stressing each word carefully.

"But- why?" he asked and Harry sighed,

"I- there's something I need to do tomorrow and I wont be back 'til sunrise. Please just disappear and then when someone asks where you were the day after, say that you were with me the whole night in a classroom, I don't know, say I was tutoring you in potions or Defence or something but this is really important to me..." he begged and Colin nodded hesitantly.

"Ok I promise I'll remain hidden and then say you were with me the whole time. No matter what, you can count on me" he said with determination and Harry breathed a sigh of relief

"You don't know how much this means to me" he said and Colin nodded, beaming. Harry smiled at him once more and slipped from the room. If he managed to keep his secret long enough, maybe he could use Colin's tutoring as an excuse next month too. As soon as he had left the room, his stomach clenched and churned and Harry groaned before heading slowly towards the nearest toilet.

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"He has nearly all of the symptoms. I think we should tell someone – Lupin or Dumbledore" Draco said as they met once again for their nightly searches. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at him in surprise.

"Shouldn't we wait until tomorrow night? To be sure?" Luna asked cautiously and Hermione sighed, leaning back in her chair and contemplating the situation

"The thing is. If we wait until tomorrow to see if he leaves, then he may not return. If we tell someone now, we may be wrong but if we're not, they may be able to do something to help him...but if we do tell and we are wrong, he may never speak to us again" she said, thinking aloud and the others nodded with her, each lost in their own thoughts

"Well...he seemed better today didn't he? In classes, I mean, better than yesterday anyway. Maybe we should just – hope for the best and if we notice him leave tomorrow, we'll go straight to Dumbledore..." Ron suggested