In the Eye of the Wolf

Written by Becca

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise.

Chapter Three

The day had a come and Harry couldn't even drag himself out of bed. He had to crawl out on his hands and knees and then just stay there for a few minutes before he managed to push himself onto his feet. Even now he didn't blame the one who bit him for this but his own stupidity instead. He crawled into the shower and headed to the first class of the day, Defence.

He was so tired now, so so tired and so cold. He was hungry but he couldn't eat, he was in pain, more so than even a week ago, he thought maybe some of the wounds from the Dursleys had managed to get infected. He didn't particularly care. Right now, he just wanted it all to end - he wanted to die. He managed to get to class on time for once and noticed immediately that Remus wasn't there; he was probably wrapped up in his nice and warm bed, sleeping away his exhaustion. Lucky bastard. Harry smiled bitterly as he sat down at the back and then propped a book up in front of him and hid behind it as he rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes.

He was awoken twenty minutes later by a rather upset looking Sirius "If my class is really that boring Harry, you can leave" he said stiffly and Harry winced. What a way to convince his godfather that he had what it took to be a teacher. He sat up immediately and smiled sheepishly

"I'm really sorry Sirius, really. I... I hardly got any sleep last night and I'm exhausted. I wont do it again," he said quietly before grabbed his parchment and quill. Sirius nodded, looking a little relieved but still upset and then went on. Harry forced himself to keep his eyes open for the rest of the lesson and was the first out of the class when the bell rang.

The rest of the day was just as much hell, it felt like the longest day in the year and Harry managed to lose Gryffindor a total of one hundred points before the final bell rang. Needless to say, Gryffindor house was not at all happy with him and nearly all of them were giving him the cold shoulder.

Harry moved through the corridors as quickly as he could. He wanted to slip out of the castle whilst there were people around so that he wouldn't be missed immediately. He thought about getting something to eat but decided against that. His stomach seemed somewhat settled and he wanted to keep it that way. At five pm Harry handed the invisibility cloak to Colin and thanked him again before making his way silently through the halls. He wasn't sure when exactly the transformation would start and so wanted to make sure he was locked away. He managed to get out into the grounds without seeing anybody in particular and then made as if to sit by the lake. He looked around when he was there and grabbed the twig he had hidden to poke the knot on the tree before slipping inside.

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Colin looked down at the cloak in his hands before biting his lip. He wanted to make Harry proud of him, but he wanted to do what was right. He couldn't guess what Harry was doing now, but he obviously wasn't suppost to be... Maybe he had gone after Voldemort! Maybe he had decided to finish it, but well, he wouldn't do that...would he? He wasn't that stupid... was he? Maybe Harry would forgive him if he talked to the headmaster...Dumbledore would probably know what was happening anyway and would just tell him to continue, Harry and the headmaster were close...

With that decided, Colin turned and quickly ran up to the headmasters office only to realise he didn't have the password. He knocked on the stone gargoyle hesitantly and then on the wall, jumping back with his hand clutched over his heart as the gargoyle decided to move and the door opened. Without pausing for thought, Colin ran up the stairs and knocked on an actual door when he reached the top.

"Enter Mr. Creevey" and wasn't it just freaky how the headmaster did that? Shuddering, Colin pushed the door open and stepped inside, surprised to see Professors Snape, McGonagall, Lupin and Black there as well. He hesitated for a minute and then looked at the headmaster and worried his bottom lip. Perhaps this hadn't been a good idea after all...

"Professor Dumbledore? I... I just... I was wondering if I could speak with you sir? But I can come back?" he stuttered and then turned to leave quickly

"Is that Harry's cloak young Colin?" Dumbledore's voice stopped him in mid-step and Colin nodded before turning back around and looking down at the material in his hands "I assure you Mr. Creevey, all in this room are here for the same reason. That of course, is worrying over our young Mr. Potter" Dumbledore said gently

"You mean you don't know?" Colin blurted out before he could think. He had seriously expected Dumbledore to know what Harry was doing and just tell him to carry on with his plans. "It doesn't matter then sir. I'm sorry to bother you" he said and turned again, he knew he shouldn't have come, now he had gone and done exactly what Harry told him not too. The door swung shut before he could leave

"Know what Colin? I must insist you tell us everything" Dumbledore said again, his voice a little firmer and Colin winced

"I... I cant sir. I promised. I thought you knew... I gave my word"

"How Gryffindor of you" Snape sneered and then sat back and crossed his arms when Dumbledore and McGonagall looked at him.

"I really must insist you tell us Mr. Creevey. Harry may be in great peril," he said firmly and Colin bit his lip harder. He wanted to make Harry proud of him and prove he can be trusted but he also wanted to help Harry and if this was the only way, then perhaps he had no choice. Not that he did anyway; it didn't look like he was getting out of this room until he had told them. He looked at Professor Black and saw the pleading and the grief in his eyes and he gave in then, he knew Harry cared for his godfather and vice versa.

"He asked me to take his cloak and remain hidden until he returned at sunrise sir. He said that if anybody asked, I was to say that he was with me all night. He said it was really important and he sounded really upset and desperate. I thought you might know professor so I came to ask if perhaps he'd gone after you-know-who. He was really upset and he seemed scared..." he blathered on but from the looks on the teachers faces, it seemed they had found what they had needed

"Thank you Mr. Creevey. If you could return to your dormitory and take 30 points for Gryffindor - Leave the cloak here" Dumbledore interrupted. Colin was about to protest but when he saw the pure grief on the teacher's faces, he put the cloak on the chair and turned to leave a third time. "Tell no one Colin, not even your brother" nodding again, Colin left and the teachers turned to look at each other

"He wouldn't, would he? He must know of the danger...he would have told us something like this" Remus said, interrupted the awkward silence.

"If I know Harry, he has taken care of the danger already, well, the danger towards others. I think we are all agreed now on what is wrong with our young friend. My main concern is his being down there, alone, with no painkiller of any sort for his first transformation. Less than 50% survive..." Dumbledore said wearily. Snape, Sirius and Remus jumped to their feet before the headmaster had even finished and had run out of the room.

"You have taken you're wolfbane right?" Snape asked, as he jogged to keep up. Remus nodded without hesitation "Potter hasn't. it isn't safe for Black or I to enter, you will be on your own Lupin. We'll be waiting outside"

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Harry walked quietly through the shrieking shack, his entire body trembling more than he thought was possible as he checked and rechecked the sealed doors. Then he stepped into the room furthest away and shut the door behind him before tracing along the whole doorframe with his wand, watching as it magically sealed. Now, he could be satisfied that nobody, not even Dumbledore, could get in there.

He looked around his room that could just very well be his grave. He didn't want to live through this night, he had already decided that much. He couldn't cope with this every single month; he wasn't as strong as Remus nor did he want to be. He recast the unbreakable charm on the furniture, the window and the door again before he allowed himself to sink to the floor in the corner of the room and tuck his knees under his chin.

He wondered if anyone would ever realise where he had gone. Would this forever be the place his body lay when he died? Would anybody be able to break through his spells and give him a proper burial? Part of him hoped so, though he didn't like to think about that, because that meant that if they could break down the door to get him out of there once dead, they could break down the door when he was transformed. He hoped he didn't manage to reach a full transformation, he had been a bit touchy about his mind since last year and the thought of giving it over to the wolf was what terrified him the most, apart from the pain of course. How he hated pain.

How could Remus live, knowing that it was just going to happen again the next month, and again after that until he died? He hugged his knees to his chest and starting rocking backwards and forwards as the tears fell. He had nothing to live for now anyway, no friends, no family, nothing. He was well and truly alone; he would not regret or begrudge his peace at the end of this night. He couldn't help but wonder if that was what the Longbottom's had thought before they were driven mad. Did they still have their thoughts; did they know that they were incapable of moving...of speaking? Did they know their son was now sixteen years old and extremely lucky to have escaped one of the worst prophecies's known to man?

Well, ok, it probably wasn't the worst, but when one is told to kill or die in said prophecy, one is allowed to think it the worst, even if they are not allowed to be bitter. He didn't even bother to fight the tears as they fell and as he sat there, lost in his own fears, darkness crept up on him and his entire body went rigid. He clenched his teeth together and the transformation started.

As pain coursed through him, he realised how truly alone he was. No friends had come with him, no godfather, no Sirius, no nobody. Before long, he couldn't hold in his scream and it burst from his lips. He tried to curl up into a tight ball, but that didn't work and he had to lie straight. Bones snapped one by one and Harry screamed his throat raw. His face lengthened and then shortened again, changing from wolf to human and back again before it lengthened a final time. His hands snapped into paws and long, sharp claws ripped through the tips of his fingers.

His scream turned into a howl halfway through as his spine snapped, piercing through his skin and then his arms and his legs. Harry cried out until he was choking on blood, the howls and whines escaping from him sent terror filled shivers through his body as his bones snapped, then snapped back into place again. Fur grew from his hands, then his arms, his face, his chest, everywhere. He tore through his school robes, his emerald eyes fixed on the wall in front of him in fear. He wanted it to stop, stop and never ever happen again. A raw hunger churned in his stomach, gnawing at his insides as the wolf took over, Harry had time to scream once more before he fell into the darkness, hoping never again to wake.

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Harry awoke upon feeling the first ray of sunlight hit him and he opened his eyes and managed to climb to his knees. He looked down at his hands and was surprised to see paws. Then he went rigid again and howled as his body changed back. His howls turned to screams and his bones snapped back into place. His head shrunk to its normal size and his spine cracked and groaned before it was fixed. There was a puddle of blood where he lay and his robes were torn to pieces. The first transformation was over and he had survived.

Harry curled up into a tight ball in the corner of the room and tucked his head in, unable to believe his bad luck. He had survived. He let the tears fall again and small whimpers escaped his throat but he found he could not speak, nor make any other sound. His throat had literally been torn to shreds with his screams and he could not even place the Advada Kedavra curse on himself.

Resigned to his fate and determined that he would not be alive for the next full moon. Harry forced himself onto his knees and then his feet. He hadn't expected to live, but now he had, he needed to deal with the consequences. He needed to relieve Colin and then he needed to heal as much as he could before going to lessons. As much as he would rather curl up in a dark corridor, he knew that his attending these lessons would be vital in keeping his secret. He didn't even bother to try and fix his robes and instead tied the most decent part of his shirt around his most vital bits and then grasped his wand.

He paused before he opened the door to close his eyes and take several deep breaths. It was over, the first one was over and it would be his last. He unsealed the door and took off the several locking charms before pulling it open. The last thing he expecting to see upon stepping out in the corridor of the shack was Remus, Sirius and professor Snape. He stopped and just stared at them for a minute, all three of them were sat on the floor and fast asleep. If he could find it in himself, he would perhaps have been amused by the way that Sirius's head was leaning on Snape's shoulder. Instead, he felt an unexpected jealousy rise in his chest before he managed to push it back down.

He had been so careful, surely they couldn't have found out, could they? And what was Snape doing here? No, they must just have come to use the room and couldn't get further. If he sneaked out now without waking them then he may be able to get away with it. Taking a deep breath he took a step forward on his tiptoes and then held his breath as he avoiding stepping on one of the three professors.

He winced as pain spread through him and quickly slapped his hand over his mouth to stop the small whimper from escaping. Just a few more steps now and he was in the clear. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the wall ahead and his hand over his mouth and nose as he moved, he froze as one of the floorboards creaked and tensed but after a minute of not hearing a thing, he took another step and grabbed hold of the banister

"And where do you think you are going?" someone asked and Harry's shoulders slumped in defeat, he should have known, it would be a miracle to sneak past a spy. He quickly cast a wandless concealment charm and then turned to look at Snape and smiled beautiful with a 'butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth' look but that faltered when he saw Remus and Sirius jump awake too

"I... I was just coming to see how you were" he said quickly and Merlin! Each word was like a thousand razor blades slicing at his throat, tears sprung to his eyes but he managed to force them back. The three professors stared at him blankly, obviously not believing a word he said

"If that is so, why were you walking away, why were you sneaking and most importantly, why is the door open now when it has been locked all night?" Snape asked, arching an eyebrow and Harry thought quickly, tensing as he had to brave speaking again.

"I was helping Colin study most of the night, ask him yourself. I was walking away because you were asleep and I didn't want to disturb you and the door was open when I came here" he said shrugging, and even that small movement send unbelievable pain through him! Well, the last one was true as was the second one. He was trying not to disturb them...he quickly turned back to the stairs and smiled again "I'll just be going now...good morning" he said and then moved to run down the stairs but was stopped by a freezing charm.

"Sorry Harry, you're caught." Remus said climbing to his feet, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he looked upon his best friends son. He lent forward and tipped the frozen boy arms before making for the exit. Not one of the professors spoke on the way back to the castle.

Author Notes: I thought it was obvious why Ron and Hermione had slapped Harry, they had been worried, he hadn't replied to a single of their letters, he'd missed the Hogwarts Express and they hit him without thinking. They are working to try and find what is wrong with him because he is still their friend and they love him. The only time they could have shown differently was when they hit him that first night but Harry wont let them close because he's never there...always studying or in bed or something...--shrugs--

Thanks all of you for your reviews, they are muchly appreciated --grins--