In the eye of the wolf

Written by Becca

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. So basically, I own nothing and JK owns it all

Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts late with many secrets. His friends seem to have gone their separate ways and he finds he can only find the peace he needs in his own mind. He becomes withdrawn and depressed; will he allow anyone to break through the ice he has wrapped around his own heart? Will he find love and learn to shoulder his burden with a straight face or will he sink further into the darkness until he is lost.

Chapter Four

In the hospital wing, Harry was released from the charm and he stood, watching as Sirius locked the only way out. He was surprised to see Dumbledore and Poppy already waiting but he couldn't quite comprehend the fact that he had been caught. He had been so careful, had forced himself to get out of bed so many times and besides! If they knew what he was, why had they waited until the full moon to act? Why couldn't they have helped him earlier? He could have had the potion if they had just said they knew...

He didn't bother trying to escape and he fidgeted slightly, biting his bottom lip as the headmaster motioned for him to sit on the bed nearest to him. Harry walked over and stiffly sat on the edge, waiting for what he knew was coming.

"Well, my son. I think it is time you told us what happened, don't you?" Dumbledore asked gently and Harry turned his head to the side in disgust when he saw pity in those blue eyes. He couldn't do this, not yet. He kept telling himself that they didn't know, that they were just trying to trick him but he still couldn't look any of them in the eye.

"I – I just went to see how Professor Lupin was," he said quickly as he stared down at his hands. He cringed as the razors attacked his throat again, and suppressed a shudder when he remembered how his hands had looked the night before. When the other realised they were not going to get a better answer out of him until they had placed the facts in front of him, they sighed. A potion was pushed in front of him before anyone said anything though and Harry looked up to see Snape

"Temporary numbing potion for your throat, until Poppy gets a look at it" he said nodding over to the medi-witch, Harry nodded thankfully and swallowed it, realising what he had just admitted with that small movement alone.

"Firstly you miss the Hogwarts express and do not give us a reason. You become withdrawn, you pull out of your favourite hobby and you push your friends away. That's just for starters," Sirius said firmly, as he sat besides Harry on the bed, but careful not to touch him. Harry looked up at that, frowning slightly

"I didn't push them away, they moved on willingly" he said seriously. His teachers frowned but didn't attempt to contradict him yet.

"You're ill the minute you arrive, but grow much worse the day before I myself do. You drag yourself around but obviously are exhausted. You wont eat in the Great Hall and then we get a visit from a very, very concerned house elf telling us that you only eat a sandwich every two days and when he can get you to eat a meal, you wont touch the silver. Then you walked into class and I smelt another wolf, you masked your scent too slowly I'm afraid" Remus said, taking over for Sirius as he sat the other side

"Then, last night we get a visit from a scared Mr. Creevey who believed you had gone after Voldemort on your own. With much persuasion, he tells us you have asked him for an alibi of sorts. And of course, we cannot forget the extra wards that were added to the shrieking shack the day before yesterday nor can we forget your leaving the room..." Dumbledore said and Harry sighed in defeat.

He kept his head lowered as he waved his hand to remove the concealment charm. He couldn't believe how obvious he had been. He felt a hand under his chin and closed his eyes as said hand pushed his head up for all to see. His face was bruised terribly in all different states of healing, there was an old cut over his eyebrow that still hadn't completely healed from when his eyebrow had split open, his nose was still swollen and blue, that was probably broken and he had a fresh cut travelling down the side of his face.

His eyes snapped open when he felt a gentle hand stroking his cheek and he found himself looking into the headmaster's sad blue eyes whilst the others just stared at him in shock "Not all of them are from last night" Dumbledore stated and Harry shook his head, lowering his eyes. Dumbledore ran his fingers over the bruises on his cheek before following them down to his neck, until they disappeared under his robes.

"Don't be mad at me, please don't hate me. Let me explain first" he whispered painfully, still not looking up. Dumbledore nimbly undid the top few buttons of his robes to look at a particularly nasty bruise on his neck, a bruise that went all the way around and had a deep cut in the middle of it from a rope.

"I – the Dursleys. They have always mistreated me, but this summer, my uncle went mad. He would blame me for everything and – and he would beat me every night" he whispered. He tried to lower his head but Dumbledore still held a firm grip of his chin and wouldn't allow it. He swallowed hard and then shrugged "I didn't mind at first, before I came here, before I started Hogwarts, he would beat me once in a while but not often. I thought he would get bored with it again – I thought I des- I got scared and I ran away. He was going to kill me," he said, his eyes closed tightly as he remembered, "I was scared but I stayed for as long as I could. Nearly a week before the start of term, everything went worse, my uncle lost his job...he nearly killed me" he said and then swallowed hard, pushing his tears away

"I ran and collapsed at the end of the street, he was chasing me and I couldn't go any further. I apparated somehow, I just wished I was somewhere else and when I dared to open my eyes I was in a forest. It was a full moon, I – I – the wolf came towards me and I fell, he stood on my chest and I panicked. I was stupid and I struggled, he bit me twice" be whispered again and then shook his head "I ran from death into something worse"

"I woke up in the arms of a hooded man, he took me to a small hotel in London and paid for a weeks stay in the room, he said he had a wife and children, said if I was anyone else, they would have considered it but he couldn't help me, he couldn't risk it, he couldn't deal with the responsibility. He apologised over and over and then went. I next woke to someone banging on the door, the week was over and I had to leave"

"Why didn't you tell anyone? About any of this, we could have helped you Harry" Remus said, reaching forward to grip his hand but Harry snatched it back quickly and then sighed, sending an apologetic look to the werewolf

"I just – I wasn't ready to deal with it. To tell you part of it wouldn't have satisfied you, you would have wanted to know why I ran and I just, I guess I was - am ashamed. I was foolish to run anyway and I paid for my stupidity dearly." he muttered and tensed as he felt a hand on his shoulder

"Still, you should have told us Harry, it was dangerous..." Dumbledore started bur Harry's head snapped up and his eyes flashed dangerously

"It was not! I would not have returned if I thought I would be a danger to anyone. There was no way I could get out of that room, surely if three full grown wizards cant get in, then you could agree with me on that" he said firmly but Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, looking into his eyes

"For you Harry, it was dangerous for you" he said firmly. Harry turned his head away, and by doing that, answered the older wizards fears. "You didn't expect to survive did you? You didn't want too..." he whispered. Harry tensed along with the others and he tried to take his chin from the other mans hands as his tears started to fall again.

"I'm not strong, I can't do this, not every month...I just – I cant, I'm not like Remus..." he whispered and then he broke down and buried his head in his hands as he cried "It hurts, it hurts so much. Make it stop, please make it stop" he choked, not even bothering to fight as he was pulled into strong arms. He looked to see he was literally sat on the headmaster's knee and he buried his face in the older wizards robes

"We can fix you up now Harry, we can always make it better afterwards, but we can't make it stop" Albus replied painfully. He would do anything he could for Harry, why did he have to ask for the one thing he couldn't do? For the first time in over 10 years, Albus Dumbledore let loose his own tears as he cradled Harry gently in his arms "We can make it more bearable for you, Severus can make the wolfsbane and you wont be alone, never again, Remus and Sirius will be with you..."

"I'm scared, I'm so scared, don't ever leave me alone. Promise you wont ever leave me" Harry choked and Albus sighed before rubbing his back as lightly as he could as to not hurt him even more. He looked at Remus and then at Sirius and Severus and smiled slightly

"I'll never leave you willingly Harry. Never. Right now though we need to see you, we need to see how injured you are and to get you healed up. You're staying here now my son, you will never return to those muggles whilst I still breathe" he said softly. Harry nodded and took a minute to pull himself together before he slowly climbed off Dumbledore and onto his feet, all four men and the medi-witch jumped up to steady him when he swayed and he smiled tightly at them before closing his eyes and slowly unwrapping what was left of his robes.

He let the material fall to the floor and kept his eyes closed tightly, not even bothering to be embarrassed. He could sense Madame Pomfrey walking around him and then the magical scan and he started to sway. He took his hand up to his throat, it seemed the numbing potion was wearing off and he was going to pay for the words he had just spoken, relatively pain free.

"2 broken ribs, broken nose, left arm, three fingers. Bruising to 97 of the body, deep wounds, 34 of them infected. Bruised kidneys, stomach lining seems to be ripped, throat is...the worst I have ever seen, literally torn to shreds. Newer wounds, bruising along all the bones..." as Poppy listed off his injuries, tears squeezed through his closed eyes and Harry didn't even bother trying to stop them... All these injures and yet he was still unlucky enough to be alive

"Mild case of the wizard flu as well" she said and then sighed, "Lets have a closer look at these wounds." She moved closer and started on his back, he couldn't even bring himself to wince as she prodded "over two dozen on his back, crisscrossed, causing by what looks like a belt and...a whip" finally, Harry forced himself to open his eyes, if just to see what she was doing. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw her talking into the end of her wand.

He looked around at the other faces in the room, tense as he tried to figure out what was going on. He backed away from the medi-witch and his teachers, his eyes shooting from each person to the next until he hit a wall and winced as he leant on some of the wounds on his back.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, Dumbledore stood up and approaching him cautiously before crouching down in front of him until their eyes were level

"We have to make records Harry, of your injuries... The Dursleys must be punished," he said softly and then seeing Harry was about to protest, he hurried to elaborate, "This way, you never have to return and Sirius can finally take over guardianship. You never have to leave Hogwarts again if you don't want too. We have an obligation Harry, why don't you lie down and get some rest whilst we finish up and heal you" he added, opening his arms in invitation. Harry hesitated and bit his lip before stepping towards the old man and allowing himself to be embraced warmly. He felt so secure and well, not alone when he was being held, it was a huge difference to the insecurity and fear of being alone.

"Come my little cub, I will stay with you. I promise" Remus said standing up, he pulled back the covers of the bed and Harry finally moved to slip under, surprised when Remus climbed in after him. Albus tucked them in tightly before pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead and running gentle fingers through his hair.

"I am sorry for not realizing sooner, I should have checked up on you frequently over the years. Know that I love you and will always be here for you," he whispered gently. Harry smiled at him tentatively, relaxing slightly. Sirius stepped up to kiss him next and he embraced his godson as tightly as he dared with tears in his eyes.

"You're not alone" he said firmly and Harry smiled at that, Sirius always seemed to know just what to say and when to say it.

"For as long as I live, never will you go without wolfbane again Pot- Harry." Severus said softly and Harry smiled at him beautifully before sitting up to place a chaste kiss on the potion masters cheek. He turned back to Remus and carefully rested his head on the werewolf's chest and curled up tight against the warm body

"Rest now my cub"

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When Harry awoke, he felt arms around him and immediately tensed. Scared to open his eyes in case he was back at the Dursleys and everything else had been a dream but when those hands didn't hurt him but instead tightened around him, he cracked open an eye and saw he was still in Remus's arms. He smiled slightly at the sleeping werewolf and then bit his lip before snuggling closer to that warm body. When Remus didn't wake up and shout at him for that, he rested his head on his chest and sighed, it was nice to be held.

He felt Remus stretch and yawn besides him and he closed his eyes, not wanting to have to move away yet. Remus chuckled and stroked a hand through his hair and then moved to uncurl himself from him but Harry just tightened his grip, refusing to let go of the warmth and the affection he smelt actually towards him. Remus laughed again but gave in and pulled Harry closer, resting a hand on the small of his back.

"Good Morning my cub. I was beginning to wonder when you would wake up" Remus said softly and Harry whimpered, burying his face into Remus' chest even deeper

"S'not morning, morning means I have to get up" he muttered and smiled slightly when Remus laughed and pulled him closer

"Afraid not Harry, morning means I have to get up but there is no chance Poppy's going to let you go anytime soon. You've had us all worried about you, you've been asleep for over a week now. Siri and I have classes to teach" He said just as softly and watched intently as Harry tensed up at these words and gripped onto him tighter

"Dun' leave me. I – dun' leave me alone" Harry whispered and Remus sighed, his eyes flashing as he thought of what he would do to those Dursleys when he saw them. If it weren't for them, Harry would never, ever be in this predicament. He would kill them, and the werewolf who bit his Harry. If he could, he would kill them all.

"Shh, its ok Harry. I'll call Severus and see if he will sit with you until you sleep. He has a free lesson now anyway. Never fear being along again as we will not leave you." He extracted himself from Harry's arms gently and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be right back until someone else gets here" he watched Harry watching him carefully as he moved about the room, he and the others had expected this, as all 'new' werewolves were dependant, insecure and almost irrational in their fear of being alone, he himself had been through it. Though it tends to hit people in different stages.

Remus, who had always been pretty close to his family, had only a 'mild' case of the insecurity but Harry, who had always been alone in one sense or the other was likely to be very dependant and need plenty of reassurance. That was why Albus, Severus, Minerva and Siri had spent the previous few nights rearranging the timetables to make sure one of them were with him at all times.

Harry watched as Remus disappeared into the bathroom for a minute but when he didn't reappear in seconds, he felt something like a cloak smothering him. His breathing accelerated and he sat up quickly, his eyes scanning the room for danger, his nostrils flaring for the smell of affection, love... anything but this cold, deafening silence. His body started trembling violently and he curled up into a tight ball to try and fight the tears. All he could think about was how alone he was now, how nobody wanted him and that they were all lying, they didn't care, they didn't love him, not like that had said.

He felt warm arms wrap around him and he stilled completely, opening his senses hesitantly, expecting to feel anger and hatred pouring through to him. His body sagged in relief though as he smelt Remus, warm, secure, inviting and most of all, loving.

Ok, now he felt stupid.

He tried to smile through his tears but Remus just returned it softly and kissed him on the head "Its ok little pup" he whispered, "You'll never be alone again, we wont leave you" Harry sighed and nodded, wiping his tears away and he blushed as he saw Snape watching the two of them closely. Remus tucked Harry in again and then stepped into the corner of the room with Severus. The two just watched as the trembles started up again and then sighed

"It is as we fear. He has been hit hard with the insecurities, we cant leave him alone" Remus said quickly, his eyes never leaving the shaking back of his Harry. "He is terrified of us leaving him, words will not pacify. I'll drop in and tell Albus on my way to class" he added and Severus nodded curtly, watching him as he left the room. When the door was shut, he turned back to Harry and walked closer, awkwardly placing a hand on his back to try and comfort him. When that didn't work, he sat down and gently manipulated the boy into his arms as he had seen Lupin do earlier.

"I'm sorry" Harry said in a small voice as he managed to calm himself down "I cant help it I just...I'm sorry. Will you – will you lie with me?" he added attentively, looking up to meet the potions masters eyes. Severus just stared at him blankly for a minute and then he sent a look to the door before kicking off his shoes with a sigh. He climbed under the covers with the boy and tensed when that beautiful head used his chest for a pillow.

He managed to relax slightly when he heard – and felt – the boys breathing even out and he just studied him closely without having to guard his expression. It had been so long since he had shared a bed with another, or even let one touch him as much as Harry was doing now, and yet he didn't feel as uncomfortable as he had thought he would. Harry was a beautiful boy and Severus couldn't even try to deny it as he looked at him for the first time, as in, actually looked at him.

The unruly hair that he had once despised now fell softly down onto the boy's shoulders. The lithe form muscled from Quidditch (and Merlin knows what else). The angelic features of his face were relaxed in sleep and Severus let his eyes travel down from Harry's neck and onto his bare chest. He closed his eyes and bit back a moan as he realised the boy who was pressed up tight against him now, wore no clothes under those covers.

Sighing, and trying to ignore that piece of information, Severus turned to the side so that he was facing the boy and unconsciously brought him closer as he closed his eyes. He may as well get some sleep, if just to keep his thoughts from forbidden subjects.