In the eye of the wolf

Written by Becca

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. So basically, I own nothing and JK owns it all

Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts late with many secrets. His friends seem to have gone their separate ways and he finds he can only find the peace he needs in his own mind. He becomes withdrawn and depressed; will he allow anyone to break through the ice he has wrapped around his own heart? Will he find love and learn to shoulder his burden with a straight face or will he sink further into the darkness until he is lost.

Chapter Five

Severus woke with a warm body tangled in his and his eyes snapped open at the sound of a moan, he jumped when he found himself staring into Harry Potter's face. He just had to stare at the boy for a minute, trying to work out what the hell had happened for him to be sharing the same bed as the bane of his existence. When he remembered, he pulled the boy closer unconsciously and then he lifted an eyebrow when the boy moaned again. His eyes opened wide when he felt something hard pressed against his thigh and he couldn't help but chuckle as he heard another groan.

He took a minute to look at the boy again... The pale skin, lips as red as cherries, the muscled and toned body... His eyes trailed down Harry's bare back and he saw the scars that would always be there, both from the muggles and the transformation. He saw the bite on the boy's neck that still looked fresh, one of the two bites that had – and would again – put the boy through hell. His eyes fluttered shut when the beautiful boy started rubbing against his leg and he moaned when he remembered just what Harry wore – or rather, what he didn't wear.

One's self control turned to dust when one had a creature as exquisite as Harry humping ones leg. Biting his lip, Severus pushed back the covers and he drank in the sight of that lithe form and he bit back another moan when Harry started stroking himself. He looked at Harry's face intently for any signs of his actually being awake when then his eyes rolled back as the boy pressed a palm against Severus's straining cock and started rubbing.

He watched then as Harry continued to stroke himself, arching up into his own hand with his mouth open in a silent moan and Severus couldn't seem to drag his eyes away from that weeping cock. He watched the strokes get faster and then the hand that was rubbing him quickened. He let his head fall back against the pillow and he moaned loudly, spreading his legs slightly before he could stop himself.

Ok, he really should do something to stop this

And Merlin that shouldn't feel so good!

"Sev'rus" Harry hissed and Severus moaned again as his name left those kissable lips and then the boy was coming and hard. Quickly, Severus pulled the covers back over them and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep if just to save the boy some embarrassment, he noticed (with some satisfaction) though that the hand rubbing him through his robes had not retreated.

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Harry snapped his eyes open and sat up in bed, he looked on in horror at the professor lying besides him and nearly whimpered. He couldn't believe he had just come, in a bed, with the man of his dreams. He looked closely at Snape's face and was relieved to see the man was still asleep and then he froze again when he felt his hand nudge something hard. Swallowing hard, Harry glanced at Snape's face again and then pushed back the covers, his jaw dropping when he saw where he had his hand.

He jumped when he heard a groan pass those lips and then he looked on curiously, the man who had so much control, who tried so hard to pretend he wasn't human, was asleep and aroused, maybe... Maybe if he just kept his hand there and rubbed a little then he would get to see the man lose all control... He worried his bottom lip as he considered this and then looked back down at his hand, he wished he could just open those robes but no... He knew the man would wake at that.

He shifted and gently rested his head on Snape's stomach and then very slowly, pressed his palm down against the erection, watching intently and trying to picture what it may look like under the robes. He heard the man moan again and then sat up, his eyes flickered from both Snape's groin to his face and back again as he applied more pressure and rubbed a little faster. Merlin, he had dreamt about the man for a good few months now but he knew that someone like Severus Snape would never want anyone like him.

He traced the shape of the erection lightly with his fingers, picturing it in his mind. He felt himself getting hard again, just at the thought of what he was doing, and he took his free hand to his own rapidly growing arousal, squeezing it slightly and letting a soft moan escape his lips. He pressed down harder on Snape and savoured the sound he received in reward. He rubbed harder and faster, his eyes shooting back from face to erection as he watched the potions master's breathing accelerate and then he felt – and smelt – it as Severus came.

He waved his hand without thinking and quickly cast a wandless cleaning charm before pulling the covers up when he heard the sound of footsteps outside. Before he could close his eyes and feign sleep though, he found himself looking into Severus's unguarded face and just stared. Severus looked so relaxed, almost happy... So beautiful, before he could stop himself, he reached out a hand and stroked the mans cheek, cupping it gently.

Someone cleared their throat.

Harry jumped to violently that he fell off the bed with a crash and stared up with wide eyes at the headmaster, Remus and Sirius. He blushed furiously when he saw the other werewolf's nostrils flaring and he cringed under the teasing smirk he received. Siri and Dumbledore were both just watching him amused and Harry quickly jumped to his feet and dove back under the covers, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks again.

"...And what was all that about?" came the voice from besides him and Harry cringed again before burying his face in the pillows, not daring to look up at any of his professors faces and hoping Remus would keep quiet.

"Nothing, nothing my boy. We just startled young Harry here" Albus said chuckling as he sat down and Harry grumbled before sighing and sitting up again, making sure all the vital parts were covered. He lifted his head and locked eyes with the piercing blue ones of the headmaster. Was it just him, or did they seem to be twinkling double the usual amount? "Ahh Harry, how are you feeling today?" Dumbledore asked

"Much better thank you sir" Harry replied, unable to keep the blush from rising up his cheeks as Remus snickered. He sent a glare to his Defence professor and chanced a glance at Snape before looking back at the bedcovers and preying Remus kept his mouth shut. He had forgotten that the other werewolf would be able to smell his attraction and he couldn't bear to think of what Snape would say if Remus or Dumbledore said that he had been touching his cheek...let alone anything else

"Do you mind if we check up on your injuries my boy?" Dumbledore asked and Harry groaned, someone up there must really hate him. He was half hard again and it hadn't even relented at being caught, maybe he really was a freak? He snorted at the thought and tried to think of a polite way to say 'not a chance in hell'

"I don't think that's a good idea Albus" Remus said and then slapped his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. Harry blushed and stared down at the covers, trying to think of everything vile so that he could at least get rid of his arousal. He thought of McGonagall and Filch, Dumbledore and McGonagall, Voldemort and Malfoy

"Actually, I think it's a brilliant idea. Come on Harry, stand up and lets see how your body is...reacting" Snape said, smirking and the amusement shining in those dark eyes captivated Harry and he licked his lips. He blushed again when he realized he was staring and went back to thinking of Voldemort in a tutu... Thankfully, that seemed to do the job. He closed his eyes for a minute and pictured it as clearly as he could in his mind, breathing a sigh of relief when his erection wilted completely.

Still blushing slightly, he crawled out from under the covers and steadied himself on his feet, keeping his eyes shut the whole time. He tensed when he felt a hand gently trace over a scar he hadn't even been able to look at yet but said nothing as the hand moved down his chest and across to his back. He tried desperately to ignore the intense gaze of the potions master that he could feel burning into him and as soon as the headmaster moved away again, he dove back on the bed and pulled the covers over him.

"You seem to be healing up nicely there Harry. We were a bit worried when none of the potions would work... But it seems to be coming along fine" Albus said softly, watching the boy-who-lived intently. He wasn't the only one to notice that Harry refused to look. Harry nodded and smiled weakly before snuggling down into the covers and just relaxing as his teachers started talking quietly around him.

Without realizing what he was doing he rested his head on Snape's chest and let his eyes slowly droop closed as his teachers continued to talk. He wondered if Snape knew what he had done, sure the man knew he was aroused but did he know about his touching him? Harry shook his head with a relieved smile, Snape wouldn't think of going anywhere near him again if he did know and with that thought in mind, he succumbed to his weariness and fell asleep, unaware of the dark eyes glittering with amusement as strong arms pulled him closer.

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"Ok, lets put what we know together and then decide on a course of action. That's the only way we are going to settle this" Hermione said wearily as she sank into what was fast becoming 'her' chair in an unused classroom on the third floor. Every single night the three Gryffindors, one Slytherin and one Ravenclaw came to this room after classes and every single night they debated and discussed the same thing; Harry Potter.

The debating and discussing had turned into arguing as of late and it was beginning to get on her nerves, just as it was Ginny's, the two boys were relentless in their decisions with what they believed they should do and Luna Lovegood was no help whatsoever, Hermione was seriously ready to give up hope on that girl.

"We know that Harry returned to Hogwarts late, we know he wasn't on the train...nor in the station. We know he was somewhat – ill when he arrived and his health has been deteriorating as the days went by. We know he became withdrawn and studious, we know he believes to have pushed us away, we know..." she paused for a minute and frowned, that was basically all they knew regarding his health and his withdrawal

"We know he isn't human"

"No. We do not know that, we assume that. We know he does not eat in the Great Hall, we know he has Dobby come to him at night. We know he disappeared the night before the full moon. Now, do we all agree when I say that those are the only solid facts we have?" she asked again, pointedly ignoring Luna's frown as she easily dismissed the Ravenclaw's comment. Grudgingly she got a nod from her four friends and sighed with relief.

"We know you and Ronald sent him away when you hit him" Luna said suddenly and Hermione closed her eyes painfully whilst Ron lowered his head, neither of them were going to dispute that

"Yes. We know that too. Now, it's been over a week since the night of the full moon, so we can all safely assume that if Harry is not human, then he is a werewolf. Yes?" again, she received the nods she was waiting for

"He is not in the hospital wing and the teachers are merely saying that he is safe and well. They know where he is, obviously and I believe they now know what he is. I think we are all making a bigger deal out of this than needs be. We should simply just go to Dumbledore, lay down what we know and demand to see our best friend. If we are lucky, we will get to see Harry and we will get to put things right, the least the headmaster can do though, is tell us what he knows of Harry, and when he will be back. He will not be able to dismiss us so easily. All we need to decide is who is going to be the one to confront the Headmaster of Hogwarts" silence greeted her words as everyone thought of what she had said

"I think...Draco should go" Ginny said, tentatively breaking what was fast becoming an awkward silence. Everyone else reacted to her words and started to express their opinions at once and Hermione groaned before banging her head on the desk

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When Harry awoke the next morning, he found himself in between two men and he tensed instinctively, not daring to open his eyes yet. A hand started to rub a soothing line down his back but his body was rigid and his eyes screwed shut with sure a force that he was beginning to get a headache. After a minute of berating himself and another five minutes of trying to talk himself into opening his eyes, he cracked one open and peeped out from below his hooded lid, relaxing instantly and his body sagged as he realized it was only Remus and Sirius. He felt lips press to the bag of his head and turned to face them.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked quietly and then bit his lip when Sirius stared at him blankly "I – I mean for being stupid, for running away like that and for not telling you?" he elaborated, hating how frail and pathetic his voice sounded as it cracked. Sirius sighed before smiling at him softly and pulling him closer.

"No Harry, I don't blame you in the least. It was not stupidity that got you bitten... It was fear. I believe I would have done the same. Harry, you know I love you no matter what and just because you are a werewolf now, doesn't change that. I'm sorry because of the pain you have to go through every single month for the rest of your life. Sorry for the words some people will say, sorry for the jobs you wont be able to get, sorry for the fear of loneliness and rejection that will never leave you but mostly I'm sorry for not being there for you two nights ago" he said quietly and Harry stared at him in horror before forcing a smile and resting his head on his godfathers chest. He had known what becoming a werewolf would entail, knew how damaged his life was but to hear it in words, so easily said by someone who would never have to face the pain

"I – I cant do it" he whispered, though mostly to himself. Sirius obviously heard him though as he tightened his grip and rested his chin on Harry's head

"You can Harry. You can and you will. But not alone... Never alone. Remy and I will always be there for you, every single month we will join you and we can even show you that its not all bad. We can run in the forest, play catch and hide and go seek, we can race and just generally make a complete ass of ourselves without having to face the consequences. You can do this though Harry, you have to. I wish -" what he wished though, Harry never found out as he trailed off. They fell into an uncomfortable silence for a minute and then Harry huffed

"I need a shower" he said eventually and jumped slightly when Remus sniggered behind him. He frowned but then arched an eyebrow when Sirius joined in.

"Why? Want to smell nice for when Severus returns pup?" Remus teased and Harry paled, his body once again tensed rigid and he closed his eyes to hide his pain.

"No" he replied quietly. Remus and Sirius immediately sobered up and exchanged confused looks over his head but let it drop when Harry turned away from them to signal the end of the conversation.

"One of us will have to come with you Harry, you know you cant be left alone yet" Remus said again and Harry sighed, Merlin that was embarrassing, he couldn't even wash himself without someone to hold his hand

"Which one do you want to come?" Sirius asked and Harry froze, how was he suppost to answer that? It was like asking whom he loved most or who he wanted to be his father. He shook his head and smiled tiredly

"Neither. I'll just use a cleaning charm for now" he muttered and then sighed, "How long have I been here now anyway?" he asked curiously. He knew he had been asleep on and off for quite a while, but for how long, he didn't know. Remus and Sirius both shared another look, they knew Harry was much more sensitive now and would be for at least another month but they couldn't understand why he was acting so – off – with them now.

"Err... Two weeks tomorrow" Remus said slowly and Harry stared at him and then at Sirius before his jaw dropped open. Quickly he jumped up from the bed, forgetting his lack of pyjamas and searched for some clothes; muttering to himself the whole time. Siri and Remus watched him for a minute half amused before they sat up "You are going nowhere, my lil cub" Remus said sternly after a minute and Harry stared at him incredulously

"Are you kidding? Of course I am! I've got sooo much work to catch up on" he moaned but then tensed as arms wrapped around his waist. He pouted when he saw it was Sirius and allowed himself to be dragged back to bed. "But I'm fine! I don't need to be here any longer" he whined and Sirius arched an eyebrow

"Harry, you cannot be in a room alone without trembling. You are not fine... Listen to me. We will bring some work here for you ok? But you cant leave yet" he said and then sighed as Harry stared down at his hands, he looked over at Remus beseechingly but the werewolf was already tugging Harry into his arms

"Nobody blames you for the way you act now Harry. It is natural for a little cub. It's not Harry that's so terrified of being alone; it's the wolf. The wolf in you is only a baby and it sees Siri and me as your parents. It sees Dumbledore as your grandfather and Severus...well, I'm not sure about him" he finished, smirking and Harry glared at him weakly before letting his head fall back on the pillow. He was pretty sure he had broken the record for the longest stay in the hospital wing now, even if he hadn't before. Though, if he was serious, he did not wish to return as much as he led others to believe. Here, he was kept warm; he was given food and held in strong arms, he would be able to do his work in the company of people who cared for him. If he was released from here, he knew he would always have the doubts and the fears of being alone.