In the eye of the wolf
Written by Becca
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. So basically, I own nothing and JK owns it all
Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts late with many secrets. His friends seem to have gone their separate ways and he finds he can only find the peace he needs in his own mind. He becomes withdrawn and depressed; will he allow anyone to break through the ice he has wrapped around his own heart? Will he find love and learn to shoulder his burden with a straight face or will he sink further into the darkness until he is lost.
Author Notes: That's the end of what I already had written. I'll try to write some more on it and have the next chapter to you as soon as possible. Thank you all again for your reviews and I'm glad you are enjoying the story –grins-
Chapter Six
As the days went on, Harry would sit and read or do his classwork whilst Sirius and Remus moved further and further away. They would test their limits and then break them by just a step and when Harry started to show signs of distress, they would stay as still as a statue and wait for him to calm down and acknowledge that they were, in fact, still there. They found that they could only do this once or twice a day though as it was extremely emotionally draining for Harry and Madame Pomfrey, while agreeing that it needed to be done, was not pleased.
In just two days, he had finished the two weeks of classwork he had missed and had given them to Remus to take to the correct teachers whilst he worked on his homework. If truth be told, he loved to work silently and on his own, as he had discovered when he found himself alone at the start of the year. He considered going to Ron and Hermione and explaining everything to them, but no, they had decided what they wanted the day they had both hit him... They hadn't even looked to regret what had happened and so to Harry, it was quite obvious that they were happy with the way things were going for them now.
When he was concentrating on his work, he noticed he couldn't hear Remus and Sirius at all and he stopped and looked up. He tensed when he noticed they weren't in the room and strained his hearing but all he could hear was silence. Still tense but not quite trembling, Harry climbed out of bed automatically and pushed open the bathroom door, Sirius and Remus were both in the shower and had placed up a silencing charm. Without thinking about what he was doing, Harry walked further into the room, watching as Sirius washed Remus's back and then he crawled in after them, still wearing his boxers.
Before either of the older wizards could realize what he was doing, he walked in between them and hugged Sirius first and then Remus, he turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder, only then did he realize what he had done and he blushed furiously. Sirius chuckled and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist
"You wanted a shower, so you may as well have one whilst we are both here" he said softly. Harry nodded and couldn't help but watch as his two teachers continued to watch each other, he had known they were together for a while now but he had never actually seen them as together as they were openly now. Shaking his head, he reached around them for the soap and peeled off the boxers he had managed to convince Poppy he needed, and then without looking down at himself, he washed quickly but thoroughly and escaped the shower before the older men even realized. He dried himself and then crawled back under the covers and continued with his homework.
He was still blushing when the two returned but they just grinned and hugged him whilst congratulating him on the improvement. The next two days continued much in the same fashion. Harry would be asleep or just staring at the ceiling and then he would get up without noticing, find Remus or Sirius, hug them and then return to bed.
Finally, three full weeks after his first transformation, he managed to cut back seeing his professors to only once a day. He still had to sleep curled up in their arms but neither of them seemed to care. Madame Pomfrey had decided to release him as long as he promised to sleep in his professor's chambers and go to see her once every two days. He also had to eat in the Great Hall every day and was not allowed to miss a single meal or she would drag him back to the hospital wing by his ear.
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Harry left the hospital wing in high spirits on the following Monday morning; he had all his work to hand in to the teachers and he felt better than he had in over a good few months now. He had forgotten how good it felt to move without any pain whatsoever and the ache of his muscles had only just retreated. He had spent over an hour in the shower that morning and felt cleaner than he had in ages but he still refused to look at himself in the mirror, which the other teachers hadn't failed to notice.
He knew he had only a day or two of being pain and ache free though as the full moon was once again approaching. He had to start taking his wolfbane that very night and he wasn't sure whether he looked forward to it or not. He definitely wasn't looking forward to the full moon but he knew there was no way he could do anything about it. He sighed and walked under the white sky of the morning for a while, piercing through the frost and mist as he walked and his high spirits sort of deflated at the thought that there was only a week to go. It seemed only yesterday that he was there having his first transformation.
He walked back around and into the castle for the Great Hall as the morning dragged on, he had better get down to breakfast before Madame Pomfrey came searching for him personally. He looked up at the staff table when he entered to see the headmaster beaming down at him along with most of the other teachers and he grinned before waving and then made his way to the Gryffindor table. He ignored the stares he was receiving on the way, especially from those he had once counted friends and sat apart from them all.
He looked up and his eyes immediately locked with Hermione's intense stare, she smiled at him softly and Harry returned it before looking down again. Well, maybe there was a chance he wouldn't be so alone in classes as he had thought... He noticed nobody was looking away and he started to tremble after a minute, what if they did know? What if they had guessed? What if they were all going to reject him for what he was? Why wouldn't they look away?
"Potter, I need to see you some time today to discuss what you missed" Snape snapped and Harry looked up to see the man standing over him. Harry smiled weakly when he saw the mans eyes weren't glaring at him like usual but then the man reached out and touched his shoulder inconspicuously and he felt the tension leave him immediately and he smiled beautifully at the man, grateful to have his attention distracted.
"Yes sir, I'll come right after classes," he said and Snape nodded. The potions master then shocked everyone by smiling and squeezing Harry's shoulder again
"Don't overdo it today Harry, take care" he said sternly and Harry nodded and then stared after him with a glazed over look in his eye, he sniffed and his eyes fluttered closed at the scent of the man but then he caught sight of Remus's smirk and he blushed before ducking his head. He looked at his timetable and grabbed a piece of toast before standing up and heading towards the door.
Before he could escape out of the Great Hall though, he felt two pairs of hands grab his arms, and he tensed immediately before struggling to get out of their grasp. His mind flashed back to the Dursleys as he was literally dragged from the room and a third set of hands came to help the other two. He was pushed into an empty classroom and then the hands let go. Before he could see who had touched him, he had pushed himself into the corner of the rooms and his hands came up to protect his face from the blows he was expecting. His body was trembling violently now and he couldn't even make himself calm down when no hands came to hurt him
"Harry... I – what's the matter?" Hermione whispered. She and Ron hadn't meant to take Harry by surprise that much, they had just needed to speak with him and knew he would avoid them and so they had decided to make sure he couldn't. They hadn't hurt him... Had they? No, she had been careful; they had surprised him is all... The door burst open behind her and she, Draco, Ron, Ginny and Luna turned to face Professors Snape and Lupin
"What the hell is going on here?" Snape whispered in a deadly voice as he pushed himself through the room and fell to his knees before Harry. Carefully, and uncaring about what the others thought, he manipulated Harry into his arms and onto his lap before rocking him gently and smoothing his hair down "Shh, its ok Harry, we're here. Nobody is going to hurt you," he whispered soothingly. Harry visibly relaxed upon hearing his voice and the trembles calmed considerably but not completely.
"Now. Why don't you tell us just what the hell you think you were doing?" Remus asked quietly as he watched his colleague try to calm his cub. He turned to look at his shocked students and arched an eyebrow.
"I- we just wanted to talk to him. We know and we want him to know that we still love him and nothing, not even being a werewolf will change that." Hermione said quietly, though everyone was aware that the last part of her sentence was a challenge, daring one of the teachers to say she was wrong. When nobody spoke up, Hermione nodded to herself and sighed "We just – we wanted to apologize for hitting him and we want him back, we miss him and we want to help him any way we can..." she stopped at that and frowned before turning to Harry and fell to her knees in front of him, ignoring her potions master
"Harry...I'm sorry, we're sorry. We didn't mean to hurt you, and Ron and I acted rashly when you arrived at the start of the year. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, we had just been so worried when you didn't reply to our letters or anything and then you turned up and we were too blind to see that you weren't fine...I'm sorry" as she was speaking, Harry looked up slowly and just stared from her to the rest of his...friends for a minute. When he saw who they were, he was able to calm completely and all trembling stopped. Severus helped him to his feet and he smiled sheepishly
"I think its about time you told us what is going on Harry" Ron spoke up for the first time and the others nodded slowly. Harry stared at them nervously for a minute before he remembered what Sirius and Remus had said, if they were really his friends then they would stick by him. Everyone would find out sooner or later anyway and so he sighed.
"Promise me you wont tell anyone?" he asked, his voice layered with defeat and his best friends nodded without hesitation. Harry looked at the two of them carefully, they had fallen out with him for such simple things before the first full moon, could he really trust them with this? Not to mention Draco Malfoy, he and Malfoy had never been what one could call civil let alone friends... Could he trust the blond? Could he trust Ginny and Luna? "You know I didn't get on with the Dursleys don't you?" he asked quietly
"Of course" Hermione said, staring at him without blinking and Harry sighed again, just addressing his two best friends as it was easier. He pretended not to notice that he was still holding Snape's hand as Remus stood the other side of him and put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"Well, this summer, my uncle started beating me and a week before the start of term, he very nearly killed me. I – I was scared and so I ran away. I collapsed at the end of my street and just tried to think of something to do, my uncle was chasing me and I couldn't think of anything, then when I opened my eyes again I was in a huge forest, I ran through the trees until I collapsed again" he said and then bit his lips. He said all of this quickly and tried not to allow time for his friends to dwell on the happenings with his relations, but of course, it didn't work.
"Oh Harry, we had no idea. Oh Harry, I'm so sorry, if we even suspected that, you know we would have gotten you out of there" Hermione said as she threw her arms around his neck. Harry patted her back awkwardly as she sobbed on his shoulder and looked at Ron, the redhead was definitely pale and staring at Harry in horror. He refused to look at the reactions of the other three, though he thought Luna would probably be staring at the wall and thinking of all sorts of weird creatures.
"I – in the forest, I was attacked and bitten..." he paused again as Hermione pulled back to look at him, he could see in her eyes that she knew what he was talking about
"I caught the knightbus here and put a concealment charm over myself...I – I had my first transformation three weeks ago. I didn't tell anyone but went to the shrieking shack. I was scared you would hate me and I just – I couldn't deal with that now. After I had changed back, I went to leave the shack but saw professor Snape, Remus and Sirius asleep outside... They had figured it out. I've been in the hospital wing ever since as Madame Pomfrey treated the wounds from the full moon and from my uncle. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I was scared" he finished and lowered his head. Nobody said anything for a while and then Ron rested a hand on his shoulder whilst Hermione tilted his head up
"If you had said this before third year then I admit I would have reacted differently Harry but now I know professor Lupin, my opinion has changed greatly. Harry, Hermione and I have known you since first year, we know that something like this does not make you a bad person and we could never hate you. I'm sorry for not being there for you but Harry, I want to be now" Ron said firmly and Harry stared at him, he had honestly expected the boy to rant and rave for hours
"Ron's right Harry. You're our brother and we love you all the same. After the first night back, Ron and I have both been so worried about you, Draco, Luna, Ginny and the two of us have been researching into things, so that we could be prepared for when you decided to tell us whatever it was that was troubling you. We may not be able to help you on the full moon but we can at least help cover for you so that your secret stays a secret for as long as possible." Hermione said, Harry stared at them both and then he stood up and pulled them both into a hug, unable to stop his tears.
"You two mean so much to me, I – I thought I had lost you and I was terrified you would leave me because of my stupidity. I just...I pushed you away at the start of term because I thought it may lessen the blow so to speak when you found out. I'm sorry for not trusting you sooner. I – oh Merlin you have no idea how much this means to me" he said and rested his head on Ron's shoulder whilst Hermione hugged him from behind. Severus and Remus smiled at each other over their heads but narrowed their eyes when Draco stepped forward.
"Harry, I know you and I have never quite seen eye to eye, but things have changed since then, I have changed. I care a great deal for Hermione and am falling for her deeply, I do not want anything to come between that, nor do I wish to come between your friendship. If you accept, I would like to offer a truce and ask if we could try again... I would truly like to be friends" he said seriously. Severus stared at his young Slytherin in shock for a minute before he smiled slightly, proud. Harry looked up into the grey eyes of the one who used to be his school rival and studied him closely before nodding and taking the proffered hand. Quietly, the two teachers slipped out of the room and left the new friends alone. Both of them were relieved that nothing had gone wrong.
"I'm pleased that that went well. I have to admit, I was expecting them to shout at him for his being gone for so long," Remus said quietly, cutting through Severus's thoughts. The Potions Master looked at him and nodded curtly before walking off and as Remus watched his back disappear into the dungeons, he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. It was obvious to him that Harry and Severus were mates but he wondered how long it would take them to figure it out. Severus would be good for his cub; he would be strong for him just as Sirius was for Remus.
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"What did the teachers say?" Hermione asked as she pulled the chairs out from where they were piled in the corner of the room and set them out in a circle so they could sit and talk. It didn't bother anyone that they were already late for potions, nor had they noticed the two teachers leave. Harry sat down besides her and smiled as she took his hand gently.
"They've all been really good about it. They're not angry with me for not telling them or for running away. I guess they're just sorry that it had to happen you know? Remus and Siri have been with me every free moment they have. Professor Dumbledore's been to see me a few times too and professor Snape has been really, really kind to me. He's promised that for as long as he lived, I would never have to go without the wolfbane again." He said and smiled slightly at the shock of his friends
"I'm not allowed to sleep in the tower yet either. I've been acting really weird lately. The day after my change, Remus had to stay with me; I wouldn't stop trembling if Remus, Sirius, professor Snape or professor Dumbledore weren't there. That's why I was in there for so long, it took two weeks for them to be able to leave the room without my reacting so severely. I have to sleep in Remus's chambers with him and Siri" he said and his friends nodded their acceptance and when Harry looked at them suspiciously, Hermione blushed
"Well, you see...we knew there was something different about you but we didn't know what. I don't know how but we knew you may not be entirely human anymore and so since a week before the full moon, we've been reading up on werewolves, vampires and the likes. We read that a new werewolf...or a cub...feels very insecure for the first few months and some react so severely that they cannot be alone" her words perhaps shouldn't have shocked Harry as severely as they did but he found tears sprung to his eyes at their loyalty
"I – you did all that? For me? You..." he trailed off and looked pointedly at Ron who blushed and tried to shrug off his embarrassment
"We've told you Harry, nothing can make us leave you. Not werewolves, vampires or Voldemort himself. We are with you until the very end. Just as you always have been and always will be for us." He said and Harry smiled at him softly. The six of them spent another ten minutes or so just catching up before they even considered their lessons.
