In the eye of the wolf

Written by Becca

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognise. So basically, I own nothing and JK owns it all

Summary: Harry returns to Hogwarts late with many secrets. His friends seem to have gone their separate ways and he finds he can only find the peace he needs in his own mind. He becomes withdrawn and depressed; will he allow anyone to break through the ice he has wrapped around his own heart? Will he find love and learn to shoulder his burden with a straight face or will he sink further into the darkness until he is lost. Whinging

Author Notes: This took longer than I would have liked but I seem to be coming to a standstill on all of my stories as of late. If any of you have any ideas what Harry and Albus can be doing together in the next chapter, feel free to leave your suggestions lol. I hope you like this chapter for I had to rewrite it a good few times before it satisfied me enough... Thank you all for your reviews so far though, I love 'em :grins:

Chapter Eleven

Harry's recovery was a slow one, but not as slow as it had been the last time he was in here. The cub in him had obviously welcomed back his pack and refused no one. He was not left alone at all and instead of feeling resentful because of this, he was grateful. He got to spend much more time with Severus and the Headmaster over the following days and for once neither of them guarded themselves from him. His four friends visited every single night and spent as long as they could with him before Madame Pomfrey kicked them out and either Sirius or Remus made a point of sleeping with him each night so that he was tucked up and wrapped in their warmth and love for him.

He was told that when he was released he would be staying in a spare room in the headmasters tower or when he wanted, he could go to Sirius and Remus in their quarters. He was not going back to the Gryffindor tower for the rest of the year by the looks of things and he was relieved at that, he did not know where his thoughts would turn if he was alone for too long and he didn't want to find out either.

He was happy as things were now and he never wanted them to change.

He sat up, having once more completed the classwork for the lessons he had missed whilst half-heartedly listening to the conversation between the headmaster and his Severus. His Severus... Harry smiled wryly and shook his head, he didn't know where he and Sev were going and had done nothing but hold hands since he awoke but Severus didn't seem to have a problem repeating his love for Harry over and over again which was unusual for the man. Harry felt guilty for breaking the Potion Masters defences even though he liked to hear that he was loved... Love or not, Severus could still be as much of a bastard.

Harry snorted at that, the two of them bickered so much that it was beginning to be a habit. They never argued seriously as they didn't really have anything to argue about but they disagreed on a lot of subjects and Severus could most definitely hold his own in a debate. Harry smiled, proud, his Severus had even managed to argue the Headmaster into silence when debating with him.

Sirius, Remus and Albus all seemed perfectly fine with the budding romance between student and teacher, as did Hermione and surprisingly Ron. They all seemed genuinely happy for both Harry and Sev and had even joked about wedding bells. Severus was holding back though, and Harry knew this. The Potions Master was scared of being hurt and rejected but mostly, he was scared about Voldemort and didn't want to allow himself to get too close unless either he or Harry died.

That fact alone made Harry determined to finish this as soon as he could. He was resolute in his desire to start preparing for the war that had hit the Wizarding world and as soon as he was allowed out of the hospital wing, he would begin. If he died, then so be it, but Severus would no longer have to live in fear... If by any chance they both survived then perhaps Harry could be happy, truly happy for once.

Harry sighed and stared up at the white walls of the hospital wing, he had no hope of killing Voldemort and surviving...hell he barely had hope that he would defeat the Dark Lord at all but he would do all he could and he was determined to take the bastard down with him. His eyes fell to the palm of his hands again and still he flinched openly at the horrid scars he saw there, he wiggled his fingers and only felt a little strain against the new flesh that had grown but felt no pain.

He reached over to the small cabinet that sat besides his bed and pulled the gloves he had begged Sirius to get for him onto his lap. Without a second thought, he pulled them on and flexed his fingers again, at least he didn't have to stare at that scar anymore though he knew clearly that it was there and so it was little comfort.

"Are you alright Harry?" Severus called and Harry looked up startled, he had forgotten anyone else was there. He looked around for Dumbledore only to see that the old man had already left and he smiled softly to Severus when he saw the man was still watching him closely.

"I'm fine si- Sev" he said and grinned sheepishly when the older man chuckled at his difficulty. He watched as Severus stood up and lay down besides him, pulling him closer and then he rested his head on his Severus's chest and closed his eyes. Before he even attempted to sleep again, he made himself look up into Severus's face and he bit his lip before lowering his eyes again. "May I – can I – kiss you?" he asked quietly and then screwed his eyes shut again, waiting for the rejection.

He was surprised to feel a hand tilt his chin up and then soft lips covered his own. Harry moaned and practically melted against the lean body besides him as he parted his lips to a probing tongue. He then contented himself with exploring Severus's mouth until it became vital to break apart for air. He smiled happily as Severus stroked his cheek and then he settled down to sleep again.

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Harry was released from the hospital wing a week after he had returned to the land of the living but he was not allowed to leave alone. He waited patiently until Albus arrived to show him to his new room and decided to wash and get ready whilst he was waiting. His thoughts slipped back to Severus and a shy smile pulled at his lips, he didn't know what to think of that kiss other than wow.

As he still was not allowed to be alone, the bathroom had been warded against magic so that he couldn't get any ideas and so he informed Madame Pomfrey of where he was going and then slipped into the room. He blushed with embarrassment as he remembered the first time he had showered after waking; Madame Pomfrey had had to watch over him, as they hadn't thought of placing up the wards until after then. Though usually Remus and Sirius joined him in the shower now anyway, considering he was used to it from after his first transformation.

Harry snorted at the thought, a part of him was still smitten with the attention he was receiving from those who loved him, but another part of him wished they would just leave him alone and let him get on with his life. It was confusing to say the least and more than a little ironic. Throughout all his past years at Hogwarts, Harry had just wished everyone would leave him alone, he loathed the attention and the fame and he still did now... But he reeled in the fact that they all cared enough to watch him so, not the attention he was receiving itself.

As he dried and put dressed, he heard a knock on the door and called for whoever it was to come in. the door opened and Albus slipped inside, beaming when he saw he was nearly ready. Harry smiled and turned back to the mirror, sorting out his hair the best he could and straightening his clothes. He then sat down and slowly pulled a sock on over his feet. He knew why they were all insistent on watching him, he knew they feared he would try and kill himself, perhaps transfigure something into a knife... But well, for now he was happy, or at least as happy as he believed he could be.

"You don't have to watch over me sir. I've given you my word a number of times..." he started and then trailed off. He could mimic the exact response Dumbledore would say, having heard it plenty of times over the last few days. He smiled to himself and tugged on his other sock.

"I know. Its not that we don't trust you, we love you and we worry" Dumbledore said as he passed a shoe over and Harry smiled, taking it off him. He sighed but only half-heartedly as he pulled his laces tight. "Are you looking forward to leaving Harry?" the headmaster asked again, his eyes twinkling and Harry snorted.

"Yes sir. Will I be attended lessons again tomorrow?" he asked patiently, every time he had asked that lately, he hadn't received an answer and so wasn't expecting one yet. He pulled his robes over his head and turned to the headmaster with a smile. Dumbledore held out his hand, and Harry took it without question, allowing himself to be led from the room.

He wasn't surprised to see his things had already been removed from the hospital wing as he waved goodbye to Madame Pomfrey on the way. They stepped out of the room and Harry looked around again, he felt like he had been in that room for so long that everything would be changed and cars would be flying by the time he left... Thankfully, everything looked pretty much the same.

"No, you will not be attending lessons tomorrow Harry as you and I have something else to do. Now, as for your room, I'm afraid it has been warded so that magic cannot be used besides that of the caster, I know you think we don't trust you Harry... We just want to be sure" Dumbledore replied eventually and Harry nodded, lowering his eyes slightly. He looked up as the headmaster gave the password to his office and then they both stepped on to the moving stairs, still hand in hand.

"What are we doing tomorrow?" Harry asked, and Dumbledore grinned at him mischievously.

"Lots of things" he replied evasively and Harry rolled his eyes. He stroked Fawkes and smiled happily when the phoenix trilled and jumped onto his shoulder and then he followed Dumbledore up some stairs he had never been up before and through another door. From here it looked pretty much the same as Remus and Sirius's quarters only larger and quite a bit more grand. He listening as Dumbledore pointed to each door they passed and pointed out where his own bedroom was, the bathroom, kitchen, living room... And then they came to a stop at the end of the little hall and the headmaster pushed open the door into another bedroom.

The walls were decorated with light blue and purple paper; there was a huge bed in the center of the far wall, a walk in wardrobe, a door that led to a bathroom, a huge desk and chair for his homework and his trunk was already here at the foot of his bed. Harry looked out of the one window he had and found himself looking out over the lake and the forest. He grinned and turned back to Dumbledore only to find the old man watching him with a smile.

"Now Harry, you don't have to stay in here. You are quite welcome to join me in my office or any room in the chambers. This is your bedroom for as long as you want it. Now you may want to get some sleep as tomorrow proves to be quite busy. When you wake up in the morning, you will find some clothes laid out for you" as he left, Harry laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling with a sigh. His wand, useless now that he was in this room, he threw into the drawer of his bedside cabinet and he attempted to count the swirls on the ceiling.

It didn't take him long to realise that whilst in the hospital wing, the closeness of his friends and family had felt like a blessing. But now that he was out in the open, now that he could be speaking with his friends, buried away in the library or sitting by the lake getting some peace and quiet, he was stuck in a room warded so that he could use no magic and his every move was being watched carefully and interpreted so that there was clearly no intent of his hiding anything or attempting to kill himself, again.

He briefly wondered where he and the headmaster would be going the next day or what they would be doing, but no matter how hard he tried, he could think of nothing. That was the problem with Dumbledore; the only thing the man was predictable in was his fondness of muggle sweets and the passwords to his office. For all he knew, they could be doing anything from playing chess all day to going to Disney Land in Florida. Though he very much doubted it was the latter. He smirked at the thought and allowed himself a brief chuckle before grabbing his books to him and settling down to read. He glanced briefly at his gloved hands before he attempted to clear his mind of all thoughts so that he could concentrate.

Tomorrow would prove to be interesting at least.