Disclaimer: I don't own Homestar Runner, I definitely don't own ESPN.

Strong Bad entered the studio and sat down. Upon seeing all the cameras and boom mikes and teleprompters and whatnot, he began to feel intimidated. He had never done an interview like this before. About a minute later, his interviewer sat down in a chair across from him. He noted a certain expression on Strong Bad's face that he had seen far too often. "Nervous?"

"No!", Strong Bad said, almost too contradictory. He was obviously nervous, but was also far too proud to ever admit to it.

"Just relax. If you think you're going to screw up, you probably will."

"A.K.A, the Strong Sad complex", Strong Bad thought to himself, chuckling at his own joke. This put him somewhat at ease.

"Okay, guys", the cameraman announced. "We're rolling in 5…4…3…2…" The interviewer then turned to the camera and began.

"Welcome everyone. I'm Dan Patrick, and I'm here in an exclusive ESPN interview with the man who is not only the owner, president, and superintendent of Crazy Go Nuts University, but is also the quarterback of their football team. The man who I am talking about, of course, is Strong Bad. Strong, er- Mr. Bad, er-"

"Just call me Strong Bad. A man of my level of awesome deserves his name to be spoken in full."

"Fair enough. Anyway, it's a pleasure to have you here today."

"It's a pleasure to be here, Dan."

"Thank you. I guess the first question I should ask is the question that's on everyone's mind. Just how does a college that didn't even exist a few years ago become a football powerhouse in such a short amount of time?"

"So you wanna know how we became a powerhouse, eh, Dan? Well, that's a good question. It all began when my big bro Strong Mad and me were watching a football game. I don't remember exactly what one it was, but I do know it had the word "bowl" in the title. Maybe it was, like, the Tulip Bowl, or the Daisy Bowl, I dunno, something about a flower. Anyway, we were watching, and maybe I never really realized just how great football is, but I was just hooked instantly!"

Strong Bad and his brother were watching the bowl game. While the elder brother was mostly just yelling random sayings in order to pump up a offensive set who he didn't quite realize couldn't hear him, Strong Bad was absolutely zoned in on the game. Every block, run, pass, and tackle he intently watched with exponential glee. During halftime, an idea dawned in his head. "Strong Mad?"

"Take it to the house!!!"

"No, Strong Mad, listen. We need to be a part of this."

"Take it to the house?"

"Exactly! We're going to take it to their house! We're going to start our own college football team! A team that no one will be able to stop!"

"Take it to the house!!!"

"Glad to see you're like the idea, big bro."

"Of course", Strong Bad told Dan, "only a few minutes after I had my great idea did it hit a major snag."

"What was that?"

"I realized that in order to play football, you needed, well, a football team."

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That's the end of chapter one. I know it's a bit short but you'll see where I'm going with it.