Author's Note: I suppose the massive delay in this fic deserves something of an explanation. Well, I was writing chapter four, and hit a writer's block the size of a small planet. The fic was eventually forgotten. However, through a link from another site I found again, and remembered this fic. So, through force of will, I have decided to continue. Read, enjoy, and expect chapter 5 to be up in less than four months. I guarantee it.
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Three months have passed since Strong Bad decided that he would have to ship Crazy Go Nuts University into shape if the NCAA would ever accept his team. All the citizens of Free Country were eventually recruited, although some took more convincing than others. Strong Sad, for example, accepted the offer only if he was "pummeled at halftime a maximum of every third game." While Strong Bad led one half of the team in building CGNU, Coach Z led the other half in training.

"C'mon, you guys!" Coach Z announced. "Just two more laps!"

"Coach, I can't… take it…. anymore", said Homestar Runner between pants. His shirt was so sweatsoaked that the star was beginning to peel. "Can't we…take a break?"

Coach Z had had just about enough of Homestar's insubordination. He hastily blew his whistle. "What's wrong, Homestar? My training regimen too tough for you?"

"No, not really. It's just that I cut a tire, I'm almost out of fuel, and my back end is torn to shreds. I don't think I can make it to the finish line. Can't I take a pit stop?"

The coach blew his whistle once again. "Pit stops are for the weak!"

Just then, Strong Bad came into the room. "Coach!" he said. I told you not to let these guys play racing games all day! Less Formula 1, more Division I!"

Coach Z quickly turned off the Playstation 2.

"Homestar", Strong Bad inquired, "why are you so sweaty?"

"I dunno. Maybe it's 'cause I've been directly under this heat lamp for the last half hour."

"Homestar! Why would you do that?"

"I dunno. I got caught up in the moment."

"What moment?"

"The moment I placed this heat lamp directly over me."

"Yeah, but…" Strong Bad realized he was never going to get a satisfactory answer and gave up. "Well, anyway, it's done."

If Coach Z was currently in a chair, he would have most certainly jumped out of it. "It's done?" he exclaimed. "CGNU is completed?"

"I just drove the last nail."

"Well, I gotta see this! C'mon guys!" The coach blew his whistle once more.

Homestar turned to his best friend. "Pom Pom, I'm gonna get tired of that fast." Pom Pom bubbled in agreement.

"Well guys," Strong Bad said proudly, "there it is. Crazy Go Nuts University."

From a distance, it appeared as if Strong Bad really put his heart and soul into building his school, but the closer you got, the more apparent it was that all he put into it was about 20 bucks worth of material. Apparently, brick was just too much for the budget to handle, so the middle Bad son opted for cardboard drawn on to resemble brick. The interiors of the buildings weren't much better. Doors were more often than not just drawn on instead of being actual doors. The only thing on campus that looked as if it might not have been stolen out of a recycling bin was the flagpole, proudly flying the pseudo-national flag of Strong Badia in all its glory.

"So, what do you think?" Strong Bad finally asked.

"Um…great, yeah", Coach Z said. No one had the heart to say what they were thinking. Pom Pom, however, had the heart to bubble it, and did so sarcastically.

Strong Bad was outraged. "What do you mean 'Whatever tuition costs, it's too much?' This place is, like, living art!"

Pom Pom now had a comment involving finger-paints in his head, but chose to keep it there this time.

"Anyway", Strong Bad continued, I've scheduled an appointment with the NCAA accrediting committee, who are going to be given a tour of the campus, and if we're lucky, make our school a bona-fide Division I team. And if we're unlucky, we'll bribe 'em." Everyone else laughed nervously. They didn't want to be forced to just sit there and blush while Strong Bad hastily presents them with a check, especially one made of cardboard.

"I don't know about you guys", Homestar finally uttered once Strong Bad has left, "but I think this is crap."

"I hear ya there, Homestar", said Coach Z, "but what are we going to do? The committee is going to be coming here in a few days! On top of that, we don't have the funding to pay for all the supplies!"

Knowing the fate of the team was at stake, Coach Z scheduled an appointment with the only person he knew who could settle this dire financial matter.

"So will you do it?"

"Ol' buddy, I thought you'd never ask!" Bubs said warmly. Of course, Bubs had his ulterior motives in the matter- after all, a football team needs a stadium, and a stadium needs concession stands- but he would have helped out nonetheless. "Just let me make a few phone calls, and this will all be sorted out."

A day passed. Unbeknownst to Strong Bad, Bubs' help had come through.

"Strong Bad!" Strong Sad whined. "Wake up! It's 1:30 pm! And you have a phone call!"

"Whuzza…grumbla…habagrumbun."

"Strong Bad!"

"Whuh? Fine, gimme the phone. Hello?"

The voice that came from other end was probably the last voice Strong Bad would ever expect.

"Hello, Circle Bralinda. Your team mezzerts have toldem where this abiltazon for sponsoraritivs."

"Who…wha…huh?"