"Circle, I'm ready for distortion from the company."

"Wait a second", said Strong Bad, who was reasonably confused. "Who the crap are you?"

"I'm Senor Cardgage from Senor Cardgage Mortgage. I've been asked for help financiality."

"Senor Cardgage? The Senor Cardgage? That guy that lived across the street from me when I was a kid? Dude, you're so cool!"

"Thanks be aquarium. Now, I feel your campaign needs for monetary ascertation."

"Wow. Senor Cardgage. Sure man, do whatever you want."

"Well, there's all some conditioner. I've wandered stadium to be 'Senor Cardgage Mortgage Arenarium'."

"Um, sure, okay."

Within the next week, a tidal wave of funds and supplies and workers came rushing into Free Country. When the dust settled, what came out wasn't the greatest university the world had ever seen, but it was certainly better than what Strong Bad had managed to come up with. While Strong Bad certainly appreciated the services that Cardgage has given him, he couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. After all, wasn't this supposed to be his project? A lot of things were going on without his approval, which he, well, didn't approve of.

"I just wish all my work wasn't for naught," said Strong Bad, gazing at the finished product.

"Nonsense! If your original CGNU wasn't such a pile of crap, none of this would have ever happened!" said Bubs, only half-joking.

"Yeah, Strong Bad," said Marzipan, "don't worry about it. The committee is coming tomorrow, so we better all get a good night's rest. You guys all know your parts in this, and we only have once chance. So let's do it, and do it right!"

"YEAH!" said everyone. This irritated Strong Bad a bit. "Is Marzy trying to take my team away from me?" he thought. However, Strong Bad was smart enough to know not to let this problem conflict with the plan of attack…at least for now. So he, showing a curious amount of restraint, kept his mouth shut.

The next day everyone in Free Country was up with the sun, most likely a first for the region. Everyone got into position. Two hours were spent waiting for the NCAA accrediting committee to come; the longest two hours of Strong Bad's life. Strong Bad looked up at the sun, which was still rising, and almost believed it was setting. The wait felt that long. Finally, a car rumbled into the drive which connected Free Country from the rest of the outside world. Once the car had come to a stop, Strong Bad, being the gentleman he is (yeah, I don't know what kind of gentleman Strong Bad is either), he opened the door and introduced himself.

"Welcome everyone. I am Strong Bad, owner, president and superintendent of Crazy Go Nuts University", he said, collecting handshakes when appropriate.

"Thank you, Mr. Bad. Just guide us through the tour, and we'll make our decision when we're done."

"Gladly." Strong Bad stopped at the first building after coming into campus. "This is the Business Administration building. Here, you will get to sit in on a lecture by our head economics professor. I believe today's lesson is on the advanced idiosyncrasies of supply and demand." Strong Bad opened the door to the lecture hall. Inside was Bubs, talking at a pace that would make an auctioneer blush.

"Now one day a couple of years ago I was packin' up shop and all of a sudden I found like 75 slaw dogs just sittin' there underneath the counter and I was thinkin' that I had to do something 'cause them dogs ain't gonna be no good the next day so I was tryin' to think like how I might just preserve 'em but they just didn't want to go and I was rackin' my brain to figure out what to do when alluva sudden I thought that I might just eat 'em, so I did an' that night I had these weird dreams and peoples was tellin' me that I had some sorta flyin' superpower but I had to protect it by not lettin' anybody get me to say my name backwards minus the first B. So the next day, I tried it out and it worked except that the 75 slaw dogs made me gain some weight so that I could only hover two or three inches above the ground. Any questions?"

The committee was less than impressed, but Strong Bad was mesmerized. "You mean the legend is true?"

"Mr. Bad?" said a committee member. "May we move on?"

"Oh. Of course." Strong Bad walked out and then walked for a good distance before coming to another building. "This is our foreign language building. Here you will have the chance to sit in on another lecture. However, I must warn you, this is an advanced class, and the professor has insisted that all use of English is forbidden."

The committee appeared to be impressed. Strong Bad entered the lecture hall. This time, The Cheat was instructing the class. Written on the blackboard were different conjugations of words in The Cheat, such as:

Meereh

Meeh

Mereh

Meer

Meireh

Meerimeh

"Do you know any of this language?" a committee member whispered to Strong Bad.

"I am good friends with the professor, so I know some, but not much. It is actually quite a difficult language to learn. A lot of improper verbs and such."

The committee nodded.

"Next," Strong Bad said as he was leaving, "we will visit one of our fine fraternities."

"Ah, Alpha Alpha Omega."

(Author's Note: If there actually is an Alpha Alpha Omega fraternity or sorority out there, I sincerely apologize.)

"Yep. The two A's stand for 'always awesome'. And we thought the horseshoe was a nice touch; it gives it a bit of a Western flair, I think."

"The horseshoe?"

"Yes, although during design, there were votes for the triangle, the upside-down V, and the O with the sideways I in the middle. Care to come in?"

"Sure, why not?"

Inside the building, we see Coach Z, Homestar, Strong Mad, and Strong Sad watching TV and looking bored.

"Girls", Homestar said, sighing.

"Cold ones", said Coach Z, with the same level of enthusiasm.

"Parties", said Strong Sad, showing no more morale than usual.

"STEREOTYPING!" yelled Strong Mad as quietly as he could.

"Well," said a committee member, "looks pretty good to me".

"Finally," said Strong Bad, "I'll take to the final stop on the tour: Senor Cardgage Mortgage Arena…rium.

The Arenarium actually sat on the plot of land where the sports field once stood, but you'd never know it now. In all actuality, there weren't too many changes, other than that the basketball hoops were uprooted and that the stands now seated 51,000. However, it was a good thing that Senor Cardgage did his homework as to what this college was really all about- every facet of the stadium was top of the line. The finished product was a field that any NFL team, much less college team, would be proud to call home.

"Strong Bad, I must say, this is fantastic! Your school was borderline until now, but this stadium seals the deal! We would be proud to shake the hand of the president of a NCAA-sanctioned Division I school."

Strong Bad obliged and shook the hands of the committee. "Thank you. It is an honor."

"However, we do have one question to ask…it's kind of a stupid question…"

"There are no stupid questions," said Strong Bad, "wait…actually, there are stupid questions. Many of them. But, in any case, what is it?"

"Well…where are we? I know we're in Free Country, but…what state? Honestly, we're not ever sure how we got here."

"I dunno," replied Strong Bad. "I never really thought about it before."

"We could just put them in Conference USA, since that division has no regional boundaries," a committee member suggested.

"I agree. Strong Bad, as of right now, Crazy Go Nuts University is a member of Conference USA. We'll send out the schedule for your first season in a few weeks."

"Thank you, sir!" said Strong Bad, who immediately turned back to the campus. "WE DID IT, EVERYONE! WE DID IT!"

"And that, Dan, is how we did it, and"- Strong Bad noticed that the cameras were off and the camera workers were just standing around. "Hey! What's going on here?"

"We had to go to commercial about 3 minutes ago," said Dan Patrick. "Sorry we had to do that, but that was a really long flashback."

"Yeah, I suppose it was. I still have more time to talk about the team, right?"

"Certainly."

"Good…good."