WARNING: This is rated R, so if you get offended easily, don't read it.

If your dad saw a bunch of slutty-looking women pile into your room, what would he think? There's not really any way to hide them. What are you gonna do? Sneak them in through the window? You'd never get away with it. You have to plan for these things.

Today, we're meeting with some girls who want to sell their bodies for money. We can do this in my bedroom, because nothing is out of the ordinary. I know I'm doing something illegal, for money, but it doesn't seem that way to my dad. All he sees is a girl with some of her friends. It's because the girls we're recruiting are all my age. Thompson's idea.

How impossible would it be to try to handle even high school girls? This is really the only way to do business. And Thompson says it's a specialty market, so men will pay us more than they would for adult women. But I don't want to imagine what kind of sicko would be into this. But that's not stopping me.

Everybody is willing to do this, so there's no victim.

Right now, there's three girls with me. Marie, Dot and Bree. Thompson spoke to them earlier and sent them over to me to get my approval. Thompson wants to make this as equal between us as possible. So nobody gets unless we both say so. But there is one exception: Frances. Thompson says she's definitely in. In Thompson we trust. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, and besides, I'd really prefer not talking to Frances.

How did Thompson get such a big response? I can't imagine he just went up to every girl and said, "hey, you wanna be a hooker?" He did say the key thing was being discreet, but even then, I don't know. Maybe just something I don't.

I'm bringing them into the bathroom with me one person at a time. As uncomfortable as this is, I don't want to make it worse by making it a group activity. Even better, the toilet can mask anything too embarrassing to risk being heard.

Bree is first.

"Bree, I know Thompson already talked to you, but are you sure you want to do this?" I say.

"Yeah." Bree says.

"Are you really sure? You're gonna have to service any guy that comes in."

"Whatever."

"These guys could ask you to do anything. And there's bound to be some really sick guys."

"Whatever."

"They're gonna be..."

And suddenly, I'm uncomfortable. Even though Thompson gave me a primer on everything I need to know, it's hard to talk about it. He showed me video files of every possible sex act we could be asked to perform. But that was nothing compared to actually talking about it. He taught me all the words and made me say them. Even so, it's tough. For the old Lor, it might have been impossible.

I have to remember I'm a new person. And if I want to truly change, I have to fight through this.

"They're gonna be what?"

"They're gonna be... well, they're gonna pounding your pussy all night long. They'll stick their... dicks in your mouth."

"Whatever."

"Why would you want to go through all that?"

"For the money."

"You're okay with all that?"

"Whatever."

"Alright then, you're in."

She walks, hunchbacked, into my room and calls in Marie.

"Hey Marie. I can't really believe you're here. How did Thompson talk you into doing this?"

"He didn't. I practically begged him to let me do it. He approached me and we were just talking. He asked me if I had ever slept with anyone. I told him I had never even kissed a boy. I'm surprised I said that much, but I felt comfortable with him. After he told me about what you guys were doing, I told him I really wanted to take part in it." Marie says.

"But why? This isn't like you."

"What is like me, Lor? How would you know? You, Tino, Tish, and Carver only talk to me on my birthday and sometimes in class. That's why I want to do this. I don't have any friends. I don't have any self-esteem."

"Doing this job won't get you friends or self-esteem. It'll probably do the opposite."

"I just want to feel something. Anything." she pauses. "Have you ever heard the philosophy that we can't achieve our destiny without many experiences, good and bad? Maybe this is a bad idea. But I'm tired of just sitting in my room, feeling sorry for myself and waiting for my birthday to come."

"Come on, Marie. You're still young. You can make friends and do whatever you want."

Marie stands up.

"No, I can't! What are you trying to protect me from? You wouldn't have started this kind of business if you weren't curious about it yourself. I want to do it, so don't pretend like it's something that will ruin me forever. It's just sex. And if I don't do it, I'll end up worse than you can imagine. I have rage in my heart, Lor."

"What kind of rage?"

"It'll be bad, Lor. You don't wanna think about it. You're gonna let me do this, or I'll tell everyone about it."

"Fine, Marie. But when you come to me asking to quit, and you will, you better not tell anyone."

"You don't know me as well as you think. But as long as you give me the chance, I won't tell anyone."

"Will you call Dot in here? You can wait in the room."

I felt so powerful earlier today. I had a secret, tons of money, Thompson, and total control. But being extorted by Marie just kills my fun. Especially since she's such a loser. I know this is going to be bugging me all day, but if she had just begged me to let her join, I would have felt fine. So what is it? Another person has some control over me. I'll let it slide for now.

But I can't stop thinking about it.

Dot bounds in, smiling. She takes her seat on the toilet with me leaning on the wall opposite to her. It's not very formal, but the small rug between us kind of resembles a desk. Now that I'm staring at it the whole time.

"Hi Lor. This is a weird thing you got going here. I never thought you would do something like this." Dot says.

"Well, we all have to change. I guess this is one of those things we experience to grow and stuff." I mutter.

"If you say so."

"So, uh, anyway, why do you want to join?"

"Because. I've been, like, giving it away for free for a long time now. Might as well get paid for it."

"So you're experienced huh? But didn't you do it because you really liked the guy you did with?"

"Not really. Most of the time I don't even know their names. I just have sex with them because I need to."

"You need to?"

"Well, I could just masturbate, but it's not the same. Even if I do it three times a day, I'm not totally satisfied."

"That's not normal is it?"

"Some girls on the internet say I'm a nymph, whatever that means."

"I don't know either."

"It just feels good."

"So who are you doing it with?"

"Guys at our school don't know what they're doing. So it's mostly high school guys. Sometimes older than that."

"But they're just using you, aren't they?"

"No, I'm using them. It's all about me. I do it for my own pleasure."

"Can't you get some help for that? It sounds like you're addicted. And you're only twelve."

"Thirteen. And I don't want help. Come on, you know it feels good, so why fight it?"

"I don't... I mean I've..."

"Come on, you mean you've never... touched yourself?"

Dot gets up and stands on my desk. I've been staring for too long. But it's bad enough talking about this, I have to look at her in the eyes too? No way.

Now she's leaning next to me, on the wall.

"You mean, down there?" I say.

"I mean anywhere. I know you have. Don't be ashamed, it's natural."

"Well, sometimes, in the shower, if I'm just washing and I happen to graze that area, I can't help it."

"Yeah, right. You've never... slipped your finger in there a little? Come on, it's not like it's hard. You're already down there. Just give yourself a little... massage."

"I'm not scared or anything, if that's what you're thinking."

"I'm sorry, am I making you nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

She runs her fingers through my hair. I don't dare look at her.

"You're so cute, Lor. Why don't you let me show you a few things? As long as we're in here."

"I don't need you to show me anything."

"You're blushing Lor. Is it because you're nervous?"

"No."

"Or because you're excited? That's natural though."

"..."

Dot walks right in front of me and puts her face close to mine. I turn away and close my eyes. She puts her hand on my arm and rubs it.

"Relax." she says. "You've done it before. Haven't you? Haven't you ever just slipped your finger in and close your eyes? What did you think about? Thompson, maybe? It doesn't really matter. It's your own body, it's warm in there, it feels good, so just do it.

"I didn't know you liked girls this way too, Dot."

"Not really. Just think of this as a learning experience."

Dot puts her hand on my leg and moves it up between my legs, under my skirt. I had to choose today to wear a skirt for the first time...

"It's so hot down here, Lor. You could cook a pizza down here."

Pizza. Fries. Funville. Games. Fun. Why did I give all that up? Is it so wrong to stay a child, even after puberty? What would Dot say?

I'll show you some real fun.

Now, Dot has her hand up my shirt. And I'm still closing my eyes. Even so, it's still happening.

"Your nipples are hard, Lor. They feel good too, don't they? This is nothing, Lor. Take off your clothes. I'll show you so much more."

"That's okay" I say. "Maybe we should... take a break."

Her entire body is pressed against mine and she just whispers into my ear.

"Come on, Lor. I can show you so much. You'll feel good forever. This is going to be your business, you have to know it."

She's sucking on my neck and she has one arm around it. The other is in her own skirt.

"Lor, you smell so good."

She's breathing hard. I can barely take a breath. Sweat drops that form on my brow start to drip down my cheek, and they tickle, but I can't move to wipe them away. She's trying to get her mouth over mine, but I'm turning away.

"It feels good, doesn't it? Why fight it? I can teach you, Lor. Teach you so much."

She's breathing harder. Now she's pulled me so close her breasts are pressed warm against mine. Her mouth is full of my hair. And she's breathing even harder.

Suddenly she stops.

She breathes slowly and deeply and sits back down on the toilet.

"So Lor, for all those reasons, I think you need to let join you."

"Sure, I just... need a break."

"Of course."

She skips back out of the bathroom.

I splash some water on my face and look in the mirror.

Why am I doing this again? Financial security? To prove something to my friends? Because Thompson said I should? I'm doing it for myself. I think. It's not so bad. What are my alternatives? Doing the same things I do every weekend? It gets boring. I don't want to end up like Marie.

The bitch. Thinking she can tell me what to do. What a cowardly bitch.

Dot's got it right. She may be weird, but at least she's up front about everything. I do need to move on and grow up. And Marie needs to accept her failure and leave me alone.

I need to grow up and take life by the balls. Nothing is too risky, and it's all worth it. Heaven can wait for me. I have a lot to do here.

Enough thinking. Time for action.

I go back into the room and gather the girls, we're going to visit our future work site.

We go down the stairs and as soon as I open the door Thompson walks up. Nona is with him and he has one hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Lor." he says. "I got one more possible recruit here. You heading out?"

"Hey, Thompson. I was just going to show them the building." I say.

"No problem, I'll take them there. I think you need to talk to Nona."

"That's fine, I guess."

"See ya later then."

Dot, Marie, and Bree walk out and Nona walks in. She looks depressed. I hope she's not thinking this job will be a fun time. It probably wont be that simple, everyone else has surprised me today. She'll probably do the same.

We walk up the stairs, into my empty bedroom. Nona looks down the entire time.

"So Nona, why do you want to do this job?" I ask.

She doesn't say anything for a while. She's choosing the right words.

"Did you know my dad was in jail?" she asks.

"No, I didn't know."

"All the adults in town know. I'm not surprised they didn't tell their kids."

"Why? What happened?"

"Why? Because they want to make this town seem safer than it really is."

"It's not safe?"

"It seems like it's sunny every day doesn't it? You think you know everybody in town. And you feel safe. It's not a dangerous town, but it's not as safe as you think."

"What happened with your dad?"

"He used to work out of our home. Selling all kinds of things over the internet. He spent most of his time in front of his computer, especially after mom died. It was just me and him and he didn't have anything else to do. So he used the computer all day and night. He never let me in to see what he was doing. He would just leave some money on the kitchen counter every morning, and that was it.

"After a few months, he started going out at night, and I had no idea where or why. I would just go to sleep and assumed that he came back. Every morning there was some money there, so I didn't ask questions."

"Didn't you care? Didn't you try to get him to be like a normal dad?" I asked.

"Of course I did. He wouldn't listen. He always made excuses and told me after he made some real money on the internet, we would move someplace better and have fun every day. I didn't believe him, but I didn't know what else to say, so I pretended like everything was fine.

"One day, he sat me down and told me we were having a visitor. I thought it was strange because I never saw him with any friends, so I thought maybe that's who he was seeing so late at night.

"The guy showed up and the last thing my dad said that day was, 'Just do whatever he says.'

Nona's face sinks into her hands, and I can't tell if she's crying or what.

"So, what happened? I ask.

She was crying. Her face was full of tears, but he didn't make a sound.

"He raped me. I thought I could forget it, but he came back the week after that. It happened all the time. And then there was different guys coming over. After a while, I stopped resisting. I just figured, the faster I cooperate, the faster they'll be gone.

"On the nights my dad was gone, I always thought about running away, but I didn't. I didn't know what to do. Then, one day, the FBI just busted into our house. They took my dad to jail."

"I think I remember seeing that on the news, that was your house?"

"That was my old house. I'm living with my aunt now."

"So your dad's in jail?"

"Yeah, it turns out he was involved in some kind of group of men that 'shared' their daughters with other men. The last one he talked to was an FBI agent pretending to be one of those guys, and they caught him."

"So he's gone now, right? That doesn't explain why you want to do this job."

"He's going to be released next month. There was some kind of technicality, so they have to release him, even though he was supposed to be there for 25 years. They're letting him move back into our old house. I'll still be with me aunt, but I don't want to even be in the same state as him. That's why I need this job. I need enough money so that my aunt and I can move away from this place. So, please just let me do it."

"But these guys are going to be doing exactly what those other guys were doing to you. You really want to through with that again?"

"I don't, but really, I got kinda used to it. I'll be able to forget about it, and I'll do anything to be able to leave this place."

"Well, I don't feel right about it, but I can't decide what's best for you. It's up to you."

"Thanks, Lor. This really is for the best."

She leaves before I'm able to say anything else. I don't really think it'll work for her. But I can't think of what would work, so I can't say anything.

Everybody I talked to today surprised me. And I never would have had this opportunity to learn the truth if it wasn't for this brothel idea. I don't know if it was for the best or not, but it's too late to go back now.

I have to see my friends tomorrow. This day has been so weird, I need to go back to my old life, just for a little while and ease myself into my new life. I'm a little scared, but it change feels so exciting. Before I won that money it felt like time was standing still. But now, it's my chance to grow.

I still can't believe that Marie, she's not going to get away with this.