Hiya, I know that there is about one person out there who likes this fic so Im posting it for her! Its confusing but I want to postit. Im in the middle of writing about 3 fics so there coming soon. Please stay tuned, I love you all!
This chapter has some references to self harm which may be unsuitable for under 13's.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done It gets hard but it won't take away my love
For some reason, after I…do all that, I feel like a disappointment. But not like I'm disappointing Kem, 'cause to be honest she doesn't really care. But I feel like I'm disappointing…Abby. I started to self-harm a few weeks after Chase died. I don't know what made me start but one day I just picked up my razor and drew it across my skin. I was shocked as the blood ran down my arm, onto my hand, onto the floor but it didn't hurt. Not once did I wince or feel pain. It was like I had woken up from a deep sleep; everything was 10 times clearer.
So, obviously I carried on. I became the master of hiding it, just like the drug abuse. But I always knew that if anyone was going to find out, it would be Abby. Sure enough, a month later she saw the scars as I changed into scrubs. And, bang, I was in therapy 3 times a week with a 'scar patrol' every other day. That was sort of what made me decide to give in to Kem, to say yes to her absurd plan to move here. I knew I didn't need to cut anymore, I had those tricks, but I knew I also didn't need to be watched every minute to check I wasn't slipping scalpels into my pockets. The pressure made me crack. We moved to Georgia 10 months ago but I never found a job. Not because of my problems but because I was looking after Livi.
I'm here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me
I've finally get a break and I'm using it to stand and watch over a little girl born last night. She's a total miracle, the only surviving baby from premature triplets, whose mother gave her life for her children. She died in the theatre before they had got the last baby out. I doubt anyone left last night with a dry eye. "So Donna, have you decided what she's going to be called?" "No, not yet. You got any ideas?" The NICU nurse looks over at me, her friend and temporary room mate. I think for a minute. "How about….Ava?" I say softly. Donna looks over again and grins. "That's pretty," She goes back to the baby she's changing but carries on talking. "It was awful just before. We had to name her brother and sister." She's obviously saddened by it, I would be. Their father apparently disappeared months ago and is now unreachable. This child was an orphan before she was born. "They were called Daniel and Cassie."