Disclaimer: Nope...still do not own Naruto.

Warnings: Angst, shounen-ai, some sappiness, some OOCness

IV.

Sasuke banged on the door of Naruto's apartment for the fifth time that day, glaring. Where has the dobe gone? He just got back from a mission yesterday, so I can't imagine he'd be anywhere but bed today. But if that were true, he'd have heard me long before now…I wonder if Tsunade-sama knows where he is.

Sasuke glared at the door one last time before turning and sprinting over Konoha's rooftops to the Hokage tower. Glancing briefly at his recently-acquired Chuunin vest, the Hokage's guards let him into her office without any fuss, for which Sasuke was grateful. He was even more grateful to find the Godaime alone.

"Hokage-sama," he bowed briefly as the door closed. "Do you know where Naruto is?"

"Naruto? He's off on a mission."

Sasuke stared. "But…he just got back from one yesterday!"

Tsunade looked unhappy, but nodded reluctantly. "Yes. It's just…how he is now." She shrugged, and muttered, "I was hoping now that you were back…."

"Now that I was back - what?" Sasuke demanded. "What is wrong with Naruto? And don't try to tell me nothing – that's all I ever get from him, and I know he's lying."

"Yes, he is lying," Tsunade sighed, and gestured for Sasuke to take a seat. "I was hoping that now you are back, he might stop this…this…habit, or cycle he's gotten himself into. He comes and asks for the most difficult missions I can give him, goes and does them superbly, comes back, and immediately asks for another. I believe he goes home in between long enough to shower and get some ramen."

Sasuke stared at Tsunade, horrified. "And he does this-"

"Continuously. Until he is literally at the verge of physical collapse, and then he sleeps for a few days, before coming back and starting it over again."

"But…why? And why do you let him do this? You're the Hokage, you can tell him to quit!"

The Godaime just shook her head sadly. "It's…not that simple, Sasuke. I've tried – believe me I've tried! I just…can't say 'no' to him…not when it's the only thing keeping him sane."

Sasuke was at a loss for words. "But why…I mean, even if it was because of what I did…I thought we were okay now…he seemed better…."

"Part of it was you, yes…but that's not all of it. The real problem has been building for years…since he was a baby, actually." Tsunade closed her eyes, heart aching for 'her' boy.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked, demanding.

The Hokage frowned, and eyed him carefully for a long moment. "What I am about to tell you does not leave this room, understood?"

Sasuke blinked, confused, but nodded.

"Very well. Naruto would not want me to tell you this – and the only reason I am telling you is that I think you are the only one who can help him now." Tsunade sighed, and leaned forward on her desk. "You know the story of the Kyuubi, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess. It attacked the village, and the Yondaime saved us from it by sacrificing himself. Why?"

"Do you know any of the details of that sacrifice?"

Sasuke shook his head.

"The Yondaime used a new jutsu that he had developed to seal the Kyuubi away – and he sealed it away into a new-born baby, sacrificing his own life in the process to save the village." Tsunade smiled sadly. "He was a good man, and is still celebrated today as a great hero of this village. It was his last wish that the boy who carried the seal would also bear the title of 'hero,' since it was thanks to him that the jutsu could be performed at all.

"Unfortunately, that wish was not to be – the boy, instead of being lauded as a hero, was reviled and despised, always seen as the demon itself, instead of the demon's keeper."

"Naruto…" Sasuke whispered, realization hitting him. "Of course…the 'forbidden child'…none of the adults ever seemed to like him, so we stayed away too…and that's what that weird red chakra of his is!"

Tsunade nodded. "Yes. He learned to control the Kyuubi's chakra without the demon actually taking hold of him just a bit before the Chuunin exams."

"It does get a hold over him, though, sometimes." Sasuke murmured, remembering. "He did it once to protect us from the bastard in those same exams…and then once more when we-" he stopped, the memories of their last battle before his departure still painful.

"When you fought?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah." Sasuke did his best to shove the memories away.

"Well then – now you know Naruto's story. I'm sure you've noticed how much of the village treats him?"

"Yes…" More pieces of the long-standing puzzle were falling into place. The whispers that followed the blond shinobi whenever he walked around town; the cold looks and quickly veiled glares. "But he isn't the Kyuubi – he's Naruto."

That made Tsunade smile and shake her head. "I thought that's what you'd say. You're right of course – but that isn't how the village sees it. To many of them – especially to those who don't know him – he is a convenient scapegoat for their old hatred and fear. He is a living reminder of what once was."

Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed. "I'll stop it…I'll make them see-"

"Make them see what, Uchiha?" Tsunade growled, annoyed at his arrogance. "Even Jiraiya and I making our approval of the boy clear to the entire village has not changed most people's opinions. What makes you think you could do better?"

Sasuke grimaced and continued to glare, but nodded reluctantly.

"I'm not asking you to help the villagers – they cannot be helped." Tsunade held the onyx eyes firmly with her own. "What I am asking is for you to help Naruto. He's falling apart, Sasuke, and I can't help him!" Her pain and frustration over this fact were obvious in both her voice and eyes. "But you…." Tsunade closed her eyes, and sat back in her chair. "I don't know what it is precisely that he needs – but I think that you do, or you will."

Sasuke stood very still, his mind trying to process all this new information. Tsunade looked up at him, and her voice was the closest to begging that Sasuke had ever heard it. "Please – please save him!"

He nodded, firm and confident. "I will. Let me know as soon as he gets back?" At the Hokage's nod, he turned and stalked slowly back to his own apartment, glaring at nothing in particular the whole way, and lost in thought.

But that's easier said than done. At least now I know generally what the problem is. But how to fix it – it can't be to make the villagers stop, so…I have to get Naruto to stop caring what they do. I have to make him truly stop caring, not just this façade he's been wearing for so long. The Uchiha teen slipped back into his apartment, glad not to have met anyone along the way. I can't believe I never noticed before – how much of a mask that grin of his is…especially now….

Closing his eyes, he flopped backwards onto his couch, an arm over his eyes. But what can I do? What can I do to help him see himself as he really is? Bright and strong and beautiful….

Sasuke's eyes flew open. Dammit…I've got to stop thinking like that. He needs a friend, not a- grimacing, Sasuke pushed the tempting images away. Just because I feel that way about him doesn't mean he feels the same. We are friends and nothing more.

That night, Sasuke slept restlessly, plagued by dreams of empty blue eyes. Finally, he gave up, and sat on the balcony until dawn, aching inside for lack of the one person he truly cared for, and for lack of any way to save him.

Che. Some prodigy I am….


"Aaahhh…much better," Naruto grinned to himself as he pulled on a clean uniform, fresh out of his first shower in days. "Now, for a cup of ramen, and then off to see Tsunade-obaachan."

"I wonder how the others are doing…wonder how Sasuke's doing…" Naruto let his thoughts drift a bit during the normally agonizing three minute wait for his ramen to cook. "I could stop in and see him, I suppose." He brightened a bit at that thought, but then shook his head reproachfully.

Baka, he thought, taking the lid off his ramen cup. Sasuke's fine now, and probably out on a mission anyway – he doesn't need you bothering him. "Itadakimasu." For once, Naruto let his normal cheer drop as he slurped up his noodles.

Even taking his time to enjoy the meal, it really didn't take the teenaged ANBU long to finish, and so he rose with a sigh, half-heartedly tossing the empty cup into his wastebasket. Grabbing his staff and mask, he headed for the entryway to slip on his sandals, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge just how tired he really was. It wasn't physical – it was mental, emotional; a soul-deep exhaustion and aching loneliness that no amount of sleep ever seemed to heal.

Settling the mask firmly over his head, Naruto stepped out and was locking the door when a familiar voice from behind stopped him short.

"And just where do you think you're going, usuratonkachi?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto's eyes widened behind the mask. The other was wearing long, dark green shorts, and his Chuunin vest over a sleeveless black shirt. Bandages wound up his left hand and forearm, and around his upper right arm was a black band with the Uchiha clan symbol. A new, unmarked Konoha hitai-ate was tied firmly around his forehead, and he was leaning against the railing, hands in his pockets, an eyebrow raised questioningly at Naruto.

"Well, dobe?"

Abruptly aware that he had been staring (not that Sasuke could see that, but still), Naruto blinked and scowled. "I am not a dobe. Or a moron. And I'm on a mission, baka."

"No, you're not."

"Well, I will be in a few minutes, as soon as I go see Tsunade-obaachan."

"No, you're not."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, and he pulled off the mask to glare at the Uchiha teen. "I don't see that that's any of your business, Sasuke," he said quietly, dangerously.

Sasuke frowned at him. "Stop it, Naruto. You just got back from your last mission an hour and a half ago. You can't possibly be in any shape to go out again. This is not healthy, and you know it!"

Something in Naruto snapped. "Then what the hell is healthy, you bastard!" Tossing the mask aside, he dove at Sasuke, anger burning in his eyes. Startled, Sasuke dodged the shorter boy's punch, but only just barely. Quickly grabbing onto Naruto's still outstretched wrist, Sasuke examined him through narrowed onyx eyes.

"You want to train?" He asked, after a moment's uncomfortable silence.

Naruto blinked at him, reigning in his anger, now mad at himself for letting his mask slip. What was it about Sasuke that always got under his skin? No matter – he couldn't afford slips like that again. "Why?"

Sasuke gave him the "Naruto-you're-being-incredibly-oblivious" look. "'Cause I want to, dobe."

"Not a dobe," Naruto muttered half-heartedly, straightening and pulling his arm out of Sasuke's warm hand. "You're sure? You don't need to be out on a mission, or have someone else you'd rather train with?"

That earned him a "Naruto-what-have-you-been-smoking" look. "Hn. No. Ahou. I'm not allowed out of the village alone yet, and you're the only one here who can really challenge me. I've got to fight someone strong if I want to get stronger," Sasuke explained bluntly.

Naruto hesitated. He wanted to go train with Sasuke – such sessions were always helpful to both of them, and it would serve the same purpose as a mission, wouldn't it? It would get him out of the village. He could always go to Tsunade-obaachan tomorrow… "Okay," he agreed, still hesitant, but unable to resist his friend's offer. Training would be so much more fun than another mission!

"Hn. Good." Sasuke turned and picked up his sword from where it rested against a post, and began to walk away, slinging the weapon over his shoulder. Glancing back, he asked pointedly, "Well? Are you coming?"

"Y-yeah," Naruto blinked, took two seconds to toss the ANBU mask back inside his apartment, and turned to follow Sasuke out to the training grounds.

"Mommy, mommy, that guy has whiskers on his face! Don't they look cool?"
"Hush, child! Stay away from him!"

"It's the demon-boy!"

"I heard it was his fault the Uchiha boy ran away."

"Of course! The demon must have driven him away – why else would our prodigy leave us?"

"Honestly! At least he's back now…."

"Monster!"

"Damned fox!"

"You bastard demon – you shouldn't even be here! Get out! You don't belong with people…monster!"

Naruto just barely stopped himself from whirling to catch the owner of the last voice. People rarely spoke directly to him, but he still couldn't react. So, plastering on an even larger grin than before, he continued down the street on his way to the corner grocery store where he bought most of his food.

At least the people who ran the store were civil to him. The only store in Konoha where he could say the staff might actually like him was the Ichiraku, and there he wasn't sure if it was because of his personality, or the fact that he was probably their best customer.

The short trip home was just more of the same.

Anger and despair were kept under an equally tight rein until he was inside and the door shut firmly behind him. Then he stood, very silent, head bowed and hands clenched into fists, his nails drawing blood from his palms.

I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry…opening empty blue eyes, Naruto headed blindly into the back of the apartment. I can't do this…I can't…they're right…I don't belong here. It is my fault Sasuke left…maybe not that he ran away in the first place, but that I didn't bring him back, couldn'tbring him back…I should leave…should disappear….

Automatically, Naruto shed the black cargo pants and trademark orange t-shirt he'd been wearing, pulling on his ANBU uniform. Snatching up his kunai holster, he strapped it around his leg and then went around the room, picking up the scattered kunai.

Reaching for one up on a shelf, only half-seeing his surroundings, Naruto accidentally sliced his palm on the sharp edge. Holding the knife in one hand, he stared in vivid fascination at the blood welling from his left palm, and felt a deep, unceasing anger as the cut healed before his eyes, smoking faintly. Bastard fox!

The hand holding the kunai tightened around the weapon's handle and Naruto brought it up to stare at it with dead eyes.

I wonder if…what if I…


Sasuke left the reporting, running a hand wearily through his hair. His first mission in years and of course it had to be as long and difficult as possible. Pardoned or not, he was sure that Tsunade still felt the ex-runaway needed a bit more punishment.

Ah well, he thought, heading towards his apartment. Now I get a shower and a nap.

He was halfway across Konoha before his sense of "something's wrong" went off. Slowing his walk, the Uchiha heir scanned the area carefully, and was puzzled when he came up blank. Nothing around here was wrong – it was near Naruto's neighborhood, actually, and just as quiet as ever – Naruto!

Eyes widening, Sasuke dashed off in the direction of his friend's apartment, some sixth sense telling him he was needed, NOW.

It was quiet at the door. Frowning, Sasuke eased the door open, deciding to see if he could catch Naruto off guard. Hearing muttering from the living room, he slid stealthily through the kitchen, and peeked into the back room.

"What if I…what if I did that…then Kyuubi couldn't do anything, and everyone would be happy – I'd be gone at last…."

Naruto was staring just a little too intently at the kunai clutched tightly in his right hand, eyes wide and blank.

Sasuke was frozen in place, horrified at what he was seeing. Naruto still hadn't noticed him, and continued talking to himself.

"Yeah – everyone would be happier…no one cares that much. No one cares enough to see, to ask…they never have. Never will…what's left then? Just the emptiness…." Raising his left hand, Naruto lightly drew the kunai across his already bloody palm, and watched entranced as it healed.

Sasuke was about to jump across the room and grab Naruto, but stopped himself at the last second. Would that really be the best thing? Naruto might break completely, knowing his façade was up…and Sasuke still didn't know what would heal his friend. Horrifying as this scene had been, he felt that Naruto had handed him the key, but he needed time to figure it out.

Slipping back to the entryway, he opened and closed the door loudly, calling out, "Naruto! You home?" in a loud voice, as if he had just walked in. He could just barely make out Naruto's gasp, and he walked quickly across the kitchen.

Sasuke kept his features unreadable only because he had years of practice in doing so. Instead of letting his horror and fear for his friend show on his face, he merely frowned at Naruto's bloody hand and the bloody kunai. "What are you doing, dobe?"

"N-nothing!" Naruto only stumbled a little over the lie. "I accidentally cut myself when I was reaching for it." He gestured to the shelf above him. His eyes weren't quite right yet, but most of the mask was back in place, and Sasuke had the feeling that he had done the right thing, for now.

But I have to do something quickly! He's worse than I thought…but what? What is it that he needs? Outwardly, Sasuke let none of his desperately whirling thoughts show. "Hn. Why don't you come back to my place while I shower and change, and then I'll take you out for ramen."

"Really? Ramen?" Naruto brightened at that, and Sasuke took some satisfaction in the thought that at least part of the cheer was genuine. He nodded. "Yay! Sasuke's buying me ramen!"

"Put on normal clothes, dobe."

Naruto hesitated at that, but nodded. Months of staying in the village when Sasuke asked, instead of going out on more missions, had become too much of a habit to break now.

Twenty minutes later, they were back in Sasuke's apartment, and Naruto was happily poking through a copy of Sasuke's mission report while the dark-haired teen had his much-needed shower. The nap, he had decided, could wait until Naruto was well enough to be left alone.

What can I do to fix this whole thing…there must be something in what he said back there…Sasuke let the hot water seep into his midnight hair.

'No one cares that much…'

Sasuke slammed a fist against the wall. I care! Dobe – I care, can't you see that? I'm trying to show you…but that's not enough, is it? You need to be- to be told, up front and honest. You won't believe it otherwise.

Sasuke swallowed, the answer now incredibly obvious.

I have to tell him.

I have to tell him that I…love him. Sasuke admitted the words in his own head for the first time. I have to tell him that I love him and am here for him and want to be with him always. And somehow I have to make him believe it!

But panic rose in his stomach at the thought of actually trying to say those words to Naruto. He hadn't said that – hell, hadn't felt that – since that terrible day all those years ago, and it scared him.

Coward!Sasuke sneered at himself, but the fear refused to subside. He took a deep breath. Well, one thing at a time. Just get out and get him some ramen for now, and…well, I can work on how to tell him later.

That decided, Sasuke stepped out of the shower and dried off.

He spent the whole walk to the Ichiraku glaring at anyone and everyone around them who looked like they might even be thinking about Naruto in a bad way. He walked next to the blond teen, and close enough to let anyone watching know that he considered the blond to be under his protection. Naruto prattled on, seemingly oblivious, but Sasuke saw something like relief in the blue eyes when they reached the ramen bar, and the whiskered teen's thanks were a little too emphatic for just a few bowls of ramen.

He sees and hears more than people think. Sasuke had long known that his friend and teammate was not as dumb as he acted, but for Naruto's sake, Sasuke almost wished that he were. It would have been easier if you really were oblivious, instead of just faking it….

Sasuke shook his head slightly, dragging Naruto back to his own apartment as soon as they were done, and extracting from the shorter teen a promise that they would train together the next day.

Satisfied that Naruto was temporarily better, Sasuke headed back to his place and went straight to bed, determined to sleep in spite of his whirling thoughts.

How do I tell him? What if he doesn't feel the same? Will that matter? I just don't know…don't have the words. I've never been good with words. And now, the most important thing I've ever needed to say, and I can't….

Sasuke was too tired too stay awake though, and he was soon asleep in spite of his troubled thoughts.

"Ah, there you two are! Do you know how long I've been looking for you, Naruto? You're so troublesome all the time."

"Eheheh. Sorry, Shikamaru, we were out training. What did you need me for?"

The laziest jounin in Konoha came to a stop in front of Sasuke and Naruto. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ino told me to find you – she says we all have to come to a karaoke party two nights from now. You know the place, Naruto?"

"Yeah! All right! I haven't done karaoke in ages!" The hyperactive teen began dancing around. "Isn't that great, Sasuke?"

"Hn." Was the only reply the Uchiha gave, but Shikamaru noticed that there was a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Karaoke, karaoke!" Naruto chanted, still dancing.

Shikamaru thought that Naruto's cheer and energy were more forced than ever, and frowned. He'd known for some time that the younger boy wasn't okay, but didn't have any idea what was wrong or what to do about it.

"You'll wake up the neighborhood, dobe," Sasuke pointed out. Naruto fell silent a bit too abruptly, but nodded with a grin still plastered across his face.

"Well, then, I'd better go rest up, ne? See you tomorrow, Sasuke! See you at karaoke, Shikamaru!"

"Aa, sure," Shikamaru replied, waving half-heartedly after Naruto. He was about to turn and go his own way when he caught a glimpse of Sasuke's face.

The dark-haired shinobi was just as impassive as ever as he watched Naruto disappear into the growing twilight. Just as impassive as ever – except for his eyes. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows, surprised, at the look in those midnight eyes, and came to a very quick and unexpected conclusion.

Uchiha Sasuke was deeply, quietly, desperately in love with Uzumaki Naruto.

In retrospect, I suppose it's not that surprising, Shikamaru thought as he hid his surprise, nodded to the other and walked away. He's never been interested in girls, and Naruto always seemed to be the only one he'd respond to at all….

Thinking of Naruto's growing and deeply hidden pain, Shikamaru frowned again. I don't like Sasuke, but if he can help Naruto, then…well, I won't let my grudge get in the way. He's probably the only one who can help Naruto anyway.

Then Shikamaru pushed all such troublesome thoughts aside, and concentrated on finding his annoying blonde teammate to tell her that the others knew of the party, at which point she would hopefully let him go home.