Disclaimer: I don't own the song, nor the Brotherhood who belongs to Archie. Though Tressa-Ca is mine and so is the plot. Enjoy.

When this began
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
'Cause I can't justify the way, everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

"Somewhere I Belong" by Linkin' Park.

Chapter Two : Discovering Life

He saw the bright light before he felt it, and had to close his eyes half-way, afraid of getting blinded. He blinked once, but he quickly got used to it, and walked out of the darkness that has given him not only shelter, but his name as well.

For the first time in twelve years, Spectre stepped out of Haven.

Taking a big breath and by doing that stretching his eighteen years old body, Spectre filled his lungs with cool and fresh air. He'd often dreamt of the day he would get away from this place, even if it was just for a few hours. He'd longed for the feel of sunlight on his dark fur, for a walk in the forest. And now he could finally have it.

Well, to be truthful, he wasn't exactly supposed to be there. His ancestors had been less than happy when he had told them he was going out, maybe a little reluctant… all right, they had forbidden him to do so. He smiled when he remembered Mathias' startled gasp and Moonwatcher's horrified look; he knew what he was doing was wrong, but he wasn't going to spend his whole life stuck here. So he had sneaked out early in the morning, when his ancestors were still asleep.

Spectre yawned; he hadn't gotten so much as an hour of sleep, afraid as he was that he would wake up too late. He could prove to be very hot-headed when he wanted to, and this was one of those moments.

The young echidna began walking at a calm pace. He was amazed: he could actually feel the path he was walking on, the leaves being crushed under his metallic feet. He smiled, the memory of a previous conversation with Hawking coming back to him.

It had taken place a month ago. Spectre was lying in a bed of the medical wing, after his latest limbs replacement. He'd growled when he had felt a new pain run for the first time in his metallic left arm. "Can you tell me why you had put nerves in those things again?" he'd asked grumpily.

Hawking had sighed. "This way you have them in better and total control, and as for the rest… you'll find out by yourself." The older one had smiled, but said nothing more.

Spectre understood now. With this new version, he could feel things. Heat and cold, good and… pain. Yes, another proof that good things never come alone.

XXXXXXX

Spectre has never seen anything such as this before. From his spot atop the hill, it looked like a bunch of houses and buildings stuck together, grooved by concrete paths and filled with people. The entire area was very large, at least as big as Haven and maybe more. He frowned; where has ever he heard that word? Yes… it was something known as a town.

Grandfather Rembrandt told me about something called a town. I guess it must be this. Wonder what will happen if I was to go there… A curious glint lit up in his ruby eyes, and he was suddenly attracted to this town. He felt like he almost ought to go there, to study people, to visit the place. To discover what real life was really about.

He made the unconscious decision to head towards the town, and after a few steps caught sight of a sign. A name was written on it. Echidnaopolis. So, echidnas live here? Interesting… He then felt more confident, and walked calmly towards Echidnaopolis as the gentle wind played with his dark fur. He was half-way there when a high-pitched scream made him stop dead in his tracks.

Frowning, his sharp sight saw a bunch of young children standing not so far from where he was. There were four of them, and they were all playing catch, which explained the delighted scream. Spectre smiled to himself, and his adult instincts told him to go over to the young ones and be kind to them. After all, he needed friends more than anything else, no matter how old they were.

He began heading slowly towards them, forgetting all about his metallic limbs, his torn up appearance. For once he was who he really was. A teenager in need of some friends, of someone to talk and laugh with. He was Spectre the Echidna, and not Guardian Spectre the Metallic Echidna.

As he neared the children, he felt his heart warming up. They were so young, so full of life just as he was before… the accident. There was a time when he enjoyed running through the forest and trying to catch butterflies, stopping only when his legs couldn't carry him anymore and he laid on the floor, gazing at the sky.

Now running had lost its interest to Spectre, because he knew he would never get tired with those metallic limbs of his. And he would surely break something, and he couldn't bear the thought of Hawking scolding him as if he was a five years old. He couldn't have that. There were times when he wanted nothing but to break out of Haven and run, pushing himself as hard as he could till he was out of breath. But those moments usually lasted no more than a few seconds, and his mature side got the best of him again. He was fated to be tamed, and needed no one but himself to do so.

Spectre was jerked out of his train of thoughts as a kid screamed again. But it wasn't delighted as the previous one was: this one was a cry of fear. He was astonished to see the four children scatter and run away from him, and didn't quite understand the reason of their fright at first. Then all came back to him: his dark appearance, his replaced limbs, bloody red eyes… No wonder the kids had had a fit. How could I have forgotten that in the first place?

Lost between shame and confusion, Spectre went forwards to apologize and tell them there was nothing to be afraid of, when a hand clamped his shoulder and threw him back against a tree. He ground his teeth, and braced himself for a fight when he noticed his attacker was no other than Grandfather Rembrandt. And he was looking furious.

"What exactly were you thinking, Fifth son!" he yelled. "Sneaking out and getting yourself into trouble like that! I thought you knew better!"

Spectre, caught off guard, stood there opening his mouth and closing it several times. What he had done wasn't exactly wrong, but that didn't mean he has the right to be there. He couldn't decide on what to do. Apologize? No way. If there was one thing stronger than his maturity, it was his ego, and it couldn't afford useless apologies. Go against his grandfather? Possible, if you had suicidal intentions…

Rembrandt mistook Spectre's confused silence for a defiant one, and bent forwards glaring at his fifth son. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself, young man? I trust you know you had all of us on edge back at Haven, when we didn't find you anywhere."

"I… I didn't," Spectre stammered lamely, "I didn't mean to have you worried. I just wanted to walk around and breathe some fresh air, that's all…"

"That's all? That's all?" Rembrandt roared, and Spectre cringed inwardly. He had never seen his fifth father that angry before, and it was definitely something he hadn't wanted to see. "Don't you realize, Spectre? We haven't been confining you within Haven for all these years just for fun! We have been protecting you, hiding you." Rembrandt's voice became gentler, and his features softened slightly. "World is unfair, Spectre, and so is life. We knew people wouldn't see you the way we did, so we got you to stay at Haven. That's why we weren't too thrilled about you going out and all."

"But," the dark echidna said, shocked and confused at the same time. "How did you expect me to grow up and start a family? Have you planned every minute of my days? Don't you give a damn about the way I'd like my life to be led?" By now Spectre was at least as furious as Rembrandt was minutes before. How dare they take decisions about his life without his opinion? Was he just an object to them, a problem to take care of? Well, he sure was going to give them a piece of his mind!

"Listen," Spectre growled warningly. "I won't allow you to lead my life anymore. Sure, I'm grateful because you cared for me and all, but living is getting hard enough with those forsaken things-" he motioned to his cybernetics limbs, "-so just leave me alone for a while, alright? I'm not a toy you can play with then cast away when you get bored. I'm not something, I'm not anything. I'm someone, and you better damn remember it from now on!"

"Fifth son, calm down, no need to-"

"Yes, I apparently need to say it because none of you seems to realize it. I'm a person, and I think I'm able to make my own decisions without anyone sticking his nose in! I'm not a kid anymore!"

Rembrandt's anger spilled over. He hadn't meant for it to go this far, and hadn't planned to sound cruel, but it was time for extreme measures. "Look at you, Spectre! You're acting like a child right now, and don't deny it! Look at you! Don't you know why we didn't want you out of Haven and running around? Because we knew you would scare the hell out of people, Spectre! Can't you see how torn up you look? Seeing you in a street would be like walking past Enerjak in a market!"

Spectre was taken aback by this sudden burst of anger and, he realized, truth. Yes, he did look torn apart, but he had dared to think for a minute that people would understand, would see him as one of their own in spite of his present state. He hadn't thought that people could be that cruel as to hate him.

The young one cast his sight downwards, and Rembrandt realized his words had hurt Spectre more than he would have wanted. He softened instantly and reached for his fifth son. "I-I'm sorry, Spectre, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't be sorry," the black one whispered. "You spoke from your heart. I can't blame you for telling the truth, Grandfather." He sighed and turned on his heels. "I'll be back. Don't worry." He then ran off into the woods, much to Rembrandt's despair and shock. He hadn't expected his fifth son to run off like that, but then again he has never been in Spectre's situation before. What am I going to tell the others, now?

XXX

Spectre pushed himself as hard and as far as his metallic legs would allow him. He ran blindly through the trees, making sure he reached a place he had never seen before and, when he was certain he was lost, he slumped against a tree down to the ground. The young echidna then put his head in his hands, and thought.

He thought long and hard, so focused in his own world he lost track of time and soon night was setting without him noticing it. When he opened his eyes again, darkness surrounded him and he felt cold creeping through his fur. He shivered, and instinctively wrapped his arms around himself; but when he felt the cold metal of his left arm against his side, he gritted his teeth. Yes, he was a monster, Grandfather Rembrandt was right. Yes, he would have scared people out of their skin, Grandfather Rembrandt was right again. He didn't know why, but he had had to give it a try.

He sighed and got up slowly. Now, he was not only a monster, but a lost and disturbed one at that. Great. My stupid pride just had to get the best of me and now here I am. Great, just great. Well, no time for self recriminations, I have to find my way back to Haven or else… I wonder what lives in this forest, at night…

Not wanting to end up into some wild animal's plate, Spectre began making his way through the thick bushes and trees. He became desperate when after a few minutes he couldn't tell where he was, nor in which direction he was walking. Why oh why oh why did I have to run this far? Now if I ever find my way back to Haven, I'll have to endure Fifth father's "Told you so," and Second father's "Serves you right." Damn it. He walked nevertheless, heading straight ahead and never once looking back.

It took him all night, some doing, an encounter with two black beasts – which he had a hard time to get rid of, judging by the scratches and bite marks all over his shoulders and torso – but he finally made it to Haven. The sun was slowly setting as he punched his access code in, panting as he leaned heavily against the side of the elevator. Now he would have to face his ancestors, and he'd rather fight with a hundred animals than endure their angered glares.

After a short journey in the elevator, Spectre found exactly what he has been expecting and dreading to find. All of his ancestors reunited in the elevator room, staring at him. Some worry was showing on Rembrandt's face, but Mathias' and Hawking's glares held pure fury in them. They hadn't taken it really well when Rembrandt's had told them about the youngest's jaunt.

Spectre raised a hand up, cutting them off before any of them could open his mouth, as if to say "I know, I know, no need to twist the knife". It was far too early and he was far too tired to endure a conversation with his ancestors. He strode out of the elevator bay straight to his bedroom, and lay on his bed with a sigh. I'll get away for now, but how long will it be till they get me?

XXX

Spectre's been wrong. Instead of yelling at him and punishing him, they'd understood – with a little help from Rembrandt, he guessed. Nobody ever made a comment, although he could feel their irritated glares on him whenever he walked past one of them.

Then, a week later, Rembrandt walked in his fifth son's room carrying a bundle of dark clothes apparently wrapped around something. He smiled kindly at Spectre's confused expression. "Well, hello there Fifth son," he said. "I trust you slept well?"

The dark echidna nodded absently, still eyeing the ebony clothes his relative carried suspiciously. He couldn't help a bad feeling from creeping its way into him. Something is up, he thought. It isn't like him to beat around the bush. Better go straight to the point and see what's going on. "What are these for?" he asked, motioning to the clothes.

Rembrandt's weak smile faded quickly, and he sighed as he put the clothes gently on the bed. "I have news for you, Spectre. First, we've all debated and discussed over what you did a week ago, and we've come to an agreement.

Rembrandt's weak smile faded quickly, and he sighed as he put the bundle gently on the bed. "I have news for you, Spectre. First, we've all debated and discussed over what you did a week ago, and we've come to an agreement. You're allowed to go to the outside world."

Spectre was so stunned it took him a few seconds to assimilate what his fifth father had just said. His ancestors, who had absolutely forbidden him to go to the surface just a week ago, suddenly allowed him to do so? I smell a fish… He then frowned; there was something behind this radical change of mind. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Rembrandt sighed once again. "Fifth son, before I tell you anything, I want you to know I didn't mean any of the things I said back there. I was worried, angry, and that's why I burst out. I'm really sorry, and I'll understand if you stay mad at me." The elder nodded before speaking again. "We talked about you, Spectre, and some of us convinced the others you weren't meant to be secluded your entire life, so you're allowed to go out if you want to, and you'll be welcomed in Haven should you come back."

The young one nodded to his ancestors, but somehow felt it wasn't the end of it. "But?"

How can he do that? "But, as some others wouldn't agree to our terms, we reached a deal. You may go out, yes, but not like this. You have to, hmm, how did Hawking put it already? Ah, yes, you have to "remain safe"." Rembrandt chuckled bitterly. "In others words he means "I'll rip your head off if you attract attention on the Brotherhood". You know how he is, jumping to bad conclusions whenever Haven is involved. So, ahem, back to where I was, we decided you should… dress up, so to say."

Spectre raised a puzzled eyebrow as his grandfather reached for the bundle of clothes and unfolded it, revealing a round and metallic object. The dark one realized it was some sort of helmet the same size as an echidna head. He was about to ask something when Rembrandt spoke up. "In order to hide the scars and metal on your skull, Hawking designed you this. Come here, and try it on."

Hesitating at first, Spectre got up slowly and made his way towards his fifth father. Rembrandt put the clothes back on the bed, and held the helmet up. Spectre couldn't help but wince as he observed the metallic visor; more cybernetic parts, great… As if it wasn't enough, now he had to wear a helmet. Nice one, Hawking…

"All right, stay still." Rembrandt slipped the helmet on Spectre's head and adjusted it so it wouldn't restrain the younger one's movements. The visor actually engulfed Spectre's entire skull to his forehead, and reached between his shoulder blades. He tried moving his arms, and found out he could easily flail without dislodging the helmet. He didn't know if he should feel angry or happy; then something occurred to him. "And what about my arm and legs?" he asked, motioning to his replaced limbs. "What about my ribs? Don't tell me you have helmets for them as well!"

Rembrandt chuckled and shook his head. "No, Fifth son. You'll hide your others cybernetic parts in a more traditional way." The elder one grabbed the dark clothes and laid them out; they were black pants and an equally black shirt, along with a pair of white gloves. "There you go. Should you need them I put boots in the elevator room. Now it's up to you, Spectre. Live your life as you want. But remember, Fifth son: you'll always be welcome here."

XXX

Freshly clad in his black clothes and dark brown boots, Spectre stepped into sunlight while putting his white gloves on. He'd never liked the feeling of furniture being brushed against his fur, that's why he never wore clothes before. I guess I'll have to get used to it, and fast. He briefly scratched his left shoulder, and walked on.

It wasn't long till he reached Echidnaopolis. He arrived in the town with the same delight as a child on Christmas Day. He marvelled at people's ignorance of his presence, for he was just getting quick looks at his helmet; but eventually they moved on, whispering things like "Young minds these days…" Spectre wandered here and there, exploring the city, all the while keeping a big pleased grin plastered on his face. Finally, he could go wherever he wanted without everybody looking at him like a strange caged animal.

He was so lost in his own world he wasn't looking where he was going, and bumped into someone. Spectre gritted his teeth as his metallic ribs were hit by another body, but composed himself before he spoke. "Sorry, I wasn't looking," he apologized.

"No harm done, and anyway it was I who was walking too fast," a clear voice answered him. He then looked attentively at the person he had bumped into. He was surprised to see the person was actually a female echidna, and a very pretty one at that. One head shorter than him, she had light lavender fur and dark brown hair. Her aqua blue eyes looked up at him, and he could tell he was staring when she asked: "Are you all right? Are you hurt?"

Spectre shook his head clear. "Yes! I mean, yes I'm hurt and no I'm not all right! Err, I mean yes I… Well, you know what I mean!" He scratched the back of his head, embarrassed by his confused behaviour. Great, now she must think I'm an idiot, making a fool out of myself.

The female, however, didn't find this annoying and smiled kindly at the young black echidna, who then realized she has to be the same age as him. He returned the smile weakly, and then stopped dead when he realized he has been scratching his helmet for the past few seconds. Spectre got his hands behind his back, shifting his weight on his legs. "Well, I suppose you have things to attend to, now. I'll just be going."

He tried to walk away, but the girl spoke again. "Wait, I don't think I've already seen you around. Are you new in town?"

Spectre frowned. Oh, might as well… "Yes, I just arrived." And that was when he fully realized he had to find shelter for the night. After all, he was on his own, now, and he couldn't go back to Haven every night seeing as it was too far away from Echidnaopolis. "Could you tell me where I can find a hotel or somewhere to spend the night? My arrival here is kind of unexpected," he blurted out before he could stop himself. He felt like slapping himself; why should she care about him?

Coming to his senses, the dark one opened his mouth but was cut off by the girl. "There isn't any hotel in this town, only apartments, and I doubt you'll find one before the end of the day. Why don't you come at my home and sleep there? At last till you find somewhere to live," she proposed kindly.

Spectre was startled; he hadn't expected this. "Why would you do this?" he asked. Years spent locked up in Haven, alone and in pain, had built a shell over his heart. He couldn't understand why one would help someone he doesn't even know.

The female shrugged. "Because I don't get to help someone everyday, and it's the right thing to do, that's why. Come on, night will be setting soon, and my parents' house is on the outskirts of Echidnaopolis! No time to waste!" She grabbed his left hand – the metallic one – and began walking with him following her.

Spectre winced inwardly when he felt her fingers press against his cybernetic palm through the glove. He wondered why she didn't react; either she hadn't realized or she didn't mind.

He found himself staring again at the young female walking by his side. He thought she was kind, and you wouldn't have to push him to make him admit she wasn't unpleasant to look at. Could it be… no, you can't fall in love with someone you just met minutes before. His mind was playing tricks on him, that was the only explication.

He was jerked out of his thoughts as she turned to him, smiling. "By the way, my name is Tressa-Ca. What's yours?"

"I'm Spectre. Spectre the Echidna," he answered.

And for the first time in years, he felt like he truly was the person that was so often pushed aside or neglected. He truly was Spectre the Echidna.