Author's Note: Yeah, I didn't think I'd be doing a sequel on this. And really it's worth shit. But hey, it was just for fun anyways. Oh, most people prolly won't get this fic. It's got a little... Er... How do I say this? ...Dshbconfnal... Er... Yeah. Just... Um... So I'm an idiot. Whatever.
Faith, somehow making the simple gesture look magical, raises an eyebrow at Willow.
"Er... Red? Aren't ya supposed to be usin'... I dunno... Eye of Newt or... Snake's Blood or somethin'?" She questioned.
The Scooby gang are currently sitting in a circle, holding hands. No, don't worry, they're not naked. ... Although really... I could put up with a naked Giles as long as there was a naked Faith somewhere in there. ... But then again, no one really deserves to see naked Faith. They are all unworthy bastards. So ok, luckily they're not naked. Just sittin' in a circle holding hands.
Because after the whole 'Faith not sensing the presence of the gang'-thing, they all kinda figured it's gotta be an evil spell. So now Willow, wicca extraordinaire, is checking it out. Weird thing is though, she's mixing all kinds of stuff in a pot... And it smells like spaghetti. ... Hmm...
"Oh. Yeah... Er... thasmth..." Willow mumbles incoherently. Except the 'oh' and the 'yeah' and the- you get the damn point.
"Sorry, what'd you say, Will?" Xander asks innocently. Poor, poor Xander. Does he not see that obviously Willow is trying to hide some embarassing fact? ... You know, I'm not sure if it's really that obvious. It's obvious to me cuz... Well, yeah, I'm writing this annoying little fic. But... Er. Ok, moving on now.
"I said..." She sighs. "I said that's a myth."
Shocking! The gang doesn't quite gasp in shock, but they all raise their eyebrows. That's a sign of shock. ...Right? Fine, you got me. I just wanted to see Faith raise her eyebrow again. Sue me.
"Come again?" Asks Buffy.
"Well... See... The whole weird ingredients thing... It's not true. They just want people to believe it so that no one stupid and dangerous would actually do it." Answers Willow.
Er... Excuse me?
"So it's preferable that dangerous smart people do magic?" Faith exclaims. "That's fucked up."
That's my girl. Anyway, ignoring the huge holes in this ridiculous theory, they all accept it as truth and get on with the spaghetti spell.
...And... I'm gonna skip the whole ritual cuz then I'd have to pretend to know Latin and... I don't wanna.
A few hours later...
"Well?" Faith asks.
They all look expectantly at the young wiccan.
"Definitely a spell." Willow says proudly.
"Well DUH!" Buffy rolls her eyes. Like Faith could ever not be a kick-ass slayer.
"Erm... Yeah. Duh. But apparently... Whoever did the spell is now.. Well... At Spike's place."
Uh-oh. This is not good news for Spikey now is it? Hihihi... Er. I mean... Ah, screw it.
Later, at Spike's place...
Faith dramatically busts in the door in a move unsurpassed in it's cool factor and stands defiantly in the sunlight.
"Come out, come out wherever you are Spikey." She smirks.
Spike rushes up from his basement and does, indeed, gasp in shock.
"Bloody hell! You're beautiful!"
"Er... Thank you." Faith walks in and grabs Spike's throat. "But tell me about the fucking spell or you go bye-bye."
Shaking uncontrollably Spike gulps.
"I've gotta be honest.You're wasting your time if you're fishing round here" He chokes out.
Faith grins.
"You must be mistaken." She tightens her grip on the vampire's neck. "Cuz I'm not fooling. This feeling is real."
"You gotta be crazy!" Spike yelps, almost pissing his pants. "What do you take me for? Some kind of evil dork?"
Sweating like a pig, he decides to take the chicken's way out and kiss some serious ass.
"You've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion." He smiles weakly. "But I swear that you've got me all wrong."
Faith squeezes a little tighter.
"But you've got me.." Spike squeals. "Look... Slayer... I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier. I'll be yours, my dear!"
Faith, obviously amused, cocks an eyebrow and grins. Spike continues his ass kissage.
"And I'll belong to you... If you'll just let me go." He smiles a sickening smile.
Faith sighs, getting a little tired of the game.
"Look, stalker-boy. This." She gestures between them. " This is easy as talking goes. So don't complicate it by hesitating."
She then twirls out her stake and smiles sweetly.
"Now this? This is wonderful as slaying goes. This is tailor-made. What's the sense in waiting?"
Spike gulps. Faith then raises her arm, pretending she's about to stake him when suddenly... And I really don't want to write this. But suddenly, she feels weak and her grip loosens around his neck. That bastard Spike takes full advantage of the sudden weakness and pushes Faith away.
"Wh-... What the fuck!" Faith grunts annoyed.
Spike laughs like the annoying fuck he is and advances on my favorite slayer.
"Well well well... Slayer. I don't know what in the bloody hell is going on but apparently I've got myself an unexpected snack."
Faith lays helplessly on the floor and looks up, scared to death. Yeah right. Spike smiles proudly and stands above her.
"Bye bye, Slayer."
Then, Faith's scared look turns into a smirk and she kicks him right in the family jewels. Bastard. Spike falls to the floor groaning.
"Aaaaargghh... Even though your slayer strength seems to have disappeared, your own natural muscle is still incredibly strong!"
Well duh. Faith smiles and kicks him again for measure.
"I'll be back, Billy."
...Or will she?