Hi :) Thanks for reviewing again. You guys are awesome (touchy-feely... hmm, I don't think so). Suddenly, Michael Jackson jumps out from behind a tree.

Me: "Ahh! Monster! (Hits him repeatedly with a golf club.) That thing is terrifying. It was part man part woman; part black part white; and it was walking backwards and forwards at the same time! I am scarred for life."

Gerbils: "That thing was too freaky. Even for us. It's evil enough to be dictator of the world."

Ok, that was disturbing. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 5: Strange Advice

Gaara walked back into Shikamaru's "office". He had lost faith in Shikamaru's ability as a therapist after the disaster that was his first treatment. He sat down and waited for ten minutes as Shikamaru took his time walking down the stairs to the basement. When he finally sat down Gaara glared at him.

"So how was the first treatment?"Shikamaru asked curiously.

Gaara began telling him how Spike left him for Akamaru and how he felt inadequate that his best friend would leave for another dog. Shikamaru looked up at the end of his story.

"I didn't expect the first treatment to work," Shikamaru said quietly. "Just a test. Now Gaara, would you say that you've got a split personality?"

"Yes, I would say I do," Gaara answered.

'NO HE DOESN'T!' Shukaku yelled. 'GAARA ARE YOU CRAZY? IF YOU SAY YES, THEY'LL SHIP YOU OFF TO A PADDED ROOM WHERE YOU CAN'T SQUISH ANYTHING!'

"I'm just telling the truth, Shukaku. Trying to be helpful and end this therapy."

'SHUT UP IDIOT AND LET ME DO THE TALKING. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!'

"No, I won't shut up. I'm tired of listening to you and I want you out of my head now."

Gaara and Shukaku continued arguing until they saw the dirty look Shikamaru was giving them.

"It is obvious that you do have a split personality, but don't worry, I won't send you to an institution. I think it would be good for you to meet someone else with a split personality."

Oh great, Gaara thought. Shikamaru's sending me to meet a psycho who may be homicidal. Well, at least I can squish them and say it was self defense.

Gaara actually said; "Who is it?"

"I believe you've met Haruno, Sakura before... So, treatment two: Meet someone with a split personality just like you."

Gaara walked out of Shikamaru's "office" for the second time. He was surprised that Sakura was a nutcase. She had seemed like an ordinary girl to him, but he'd never understand women. Like why they wore war paint all the time. Come to think of it, Kankurou wore that stuff too...

Gaara let his mind wander as he headed to the coffee shop he would meet Sakura in. He wondered what she would say to him when they met.

That's the end of the chapter for now, because the monster's getting back up. The thing won't die! Ahh, it's attacking by screeching its strange battle cry that must break the ears.

Michael Jackson(singing): "Beat it. Beat it..."

The gerbils and I freak out and run away screaming in terror.