I am back…..again. I have nothing really profound to say right now though. Oh, but my friend and I made up a song to the beat of Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit" about wombats and spoons which is actually the title…. Hmmm, I was rambling again. Everyone agrees I seem to have that problem… (Gets off on wild talk about talking too much and continues talking for a few hours.) Ok, now that you all are sufficiently bored and asleep at your computers, here's my new chapter of Gaara's Therapy.

Disclaimer: I do not hate Sakura or think she's a psycho in real life. I actually think she's cool, and this Sakura-Gaara pairing is just sick and wrong.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 6: Meeting With a Psycho

Gaara walked into the coffee shop and sat at an empty table by the window. He waited for Sakura while half listening to the conversation Naruto was having with a few friends at a nearby table. "Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said. "Stick those toothpicks into your pickle and make a caterpickle!" Sasuke did as Naruto said. "Naruto, that's not a caterpillar, that's a slug," Sasuke answered. Naruto ate the pickle. Sasuke glared at Naruto for eating his food. "Noooo" Tsunade said imagining her giant slug she could conjure being eaten by Naruto.

At that moment, Sakura walked in and looked around nervously until she spotted Gaara. "Umm, hi," she said sitting down across from him. "So you have two personalities…" Sakura said nervously.

"Yeah, what of it?" Gaara snapped angry and not wanting to be there at all. Girls always made him nervous.

"Umm, nothing, but if you want me to help you then maybe you should let out your inner self while I do, so I can see how to help you…"

Gaara let Shukaku out on the condition he wouldn't squish anyone. At that exact moment, Naruto flicked a French fry at Sakura hitting her in the back of the head. Sakura turned and glared death at Naruto.

"Hey don't blame me, it was him!" Naruto said pointing at a confused Neji who had his mouth full of burger.

Sakura didn't believe him. She turned, told Gaara to excuse her for a moment, and beat up Naruto mercilessly while yelling at him about how long it took to condition her hair and how he had screwed it up with fries. When she returned, Shukaku was very impressed.

"Wow, Sakura, your inner self is sick and twisted. I like it a lot. Will you go out with me?" Shukaku blurted before Gaara could stop him. Sakura, who had been gazing at Sasuke during this speech, did not hear a thing.

"I'm sorry Gaara," she said. "Did you say something?"

Gaara was too embarrassed to answer. Now he understood why Naruto hated that Sasuke guy. Shukaku wanted to squish him, but after the Chuunin Exam, he wasn't positive it would work.

"Thanks, Sakura. This meeting really helped a lot," Gaara said quickly before leaving.

"But I didn't do anything!" Sakura called out as he left.

'Oh well,' thought the inner Sakura. 'I guess I'll have to admire that creepy-cool guy from afar.'

Darn it. Gaara thought to himself and Shukaku as he headed home. I blew my chance to ask Sakura out. Now I'll have to admire that beautifully twisted girl from afar.

Ok, that's all for now folks. I actually did the whole 'Caterpickle' scene with my sister, HR (Hurricane Rider). Well if you want to find out if it works out with Gaara and Sakura (probably not though, because my gerbils are mean and no happy endings), review. Review or I'll send the wombats and spoons to wreck your room and eat your socks.