A/N: Okay, this is my story, and so I am making Erik however I want him. He will still be the same old Erik, he just will not always be the winner in everything as he is in real life. –growls angrily- Anyway, don't flame me.
Erik stared tensely at the view-screen as the Romulan ship came into view. "Shields up," he said over the blaring of the red alert. The shields were up, and the phasers were ready.
He would have fired had not Mara, who had been keeping a close eye on the situation, knowing how power-mad Erik could be (A/N: hint hint), and said, "Erik, you idiot, hail them first!" over a telepathic brainwave. At least, Erik thought it was Mara at first, but then dismissed it as being his own genius.
It is not your own genius, you self-righteous, arrogant, over-adored-by-people pig!!
Erik ignored the thought, and hailed the Romulan ship. Much to his surprise they responded. What surprised him even more was the fact that he recognized the woman sitting in charge. "Val?" "Erik?" "Val?" "Mara?" "Mara?" "Yes, you idiot!!" (A/N: Yes, that is confusing: all right, Erik said the first 'Val', Val said the first 'Erik', Mara said the second 'Val' telepathically, Val heard her and said the first 'Mara', Erik repeated the second 'Mara' and Mara answered the last 'Yes you idiot!!' telepathically. –sigh- Okay. On with the show.)
Erik resumed his stance of control. "Surrender now, Romulans: we are not afraid to fire our phasers." Erik, stop acting so bossy! He mentally kicked her. Ow!!! That really hurt!
"On the contrary, Federation dog, you surrender!" Val said. "No, you!" "You!" "You!" "You!"
Would you two stop playing games already? They both answered telepathically NOT UNTIL HE/SHE QUITS FIRST!!! Mara replied with a sigh, We'll be stuck here for eternity.
They continued 'no, you!'-ing for over an hour while both Federation and Romulan members attempted to strangle their leaders, mutiny, kill themselves and put themselves out of their misery, (which ended up in a busy day for Mara and the nurse), make the coffee machine overflow and drown them all, and last, but definitely not least, they tried to turn themselves over to the Ferengi. They were barely stopped.
Finally, Val and Erik gave up because their transmission was faulty and their phasers were growing cold (plus both of them could hear a café mocha calling their name in the distance as well as Mara's whining complaints in the background), and they began to play their parts.
"Surrender now, vile wretch," Valerie said as her phasers heated up again and the crews of both the Federation and Romulan ships cheered as they finally got down to business. "Thank God," Mara muttered as she put the last stitch into the final crew member who had somehow gotten into the cupboard where they kept scalpels and had tried to stab himself through the heart to make the noise of the two commanders 'no, you'-ing stop.
"Complete bed-rest and plenty of morphine," she diagnosed, writing it down on a clipboard as the nurse, who had identified herself as Nurse Johnson, placed the man who would have a very sore chest for quite a while into the bed nearest Mara's scrutiny.
"I would rather die than surrender!" Erik said heroically. The crew members all held their breaths as they had no wish to die-which was rather ironic, when you think about it, as they were all willing to die or sell themselves over to the Ferengi a few moments ago, but anyway I'm just babbling, so I'm sorry, I'll stop now.
"Then you have your wish!" Valerie said, and they commenced with the phaser-ing. Blasts rocked the ship and Mara nearly broke her foot as she mis-stepped. "I swear," she growled angrily under her breath as she made her way to the post-op where she could find a pillow to scream in aggravation to, "that I am so gonna kick his sorry little Federation butt, and hers isn't gonna feel much better either."
Mara screamed into a pillow in utter frustration as on the bridge the two continued to trade insults and damages to their ships.
Finally, the Federation ship turned and retreated back into space as their shields collapsed. It was only by some miracle that they avoided being hit by a phaser and being totaled, but they escaped, hearing the sounds of boisterous Romulan celebrating behind them.
................................................................
Valerie laughed with glee as she saw Erik and Mara blast away into the distance, and turned around to see Vokar standing right beside her.
They looked at each other, and Vokar slowly smiled, and said, "Congratulations, Commander." "Thanks," Valerie said, smiling back.
"Join me for some coffee?" Vokar asked. "Of course," Valerie said, rising. "I could use some caffeine right about now."
And so the two headed to get some coffee, a warm feeling rising inside of Valerie.
.................................
"Well," Mara said, sighing. "Well," Erik said, sighing as well. They were sitting at a table, hands around cups of steaming hot coffee, and not fighting even a little bit, which greatly surprised the crew as they had already recognized the two as mortal enemies and not in the least bit romantically involved.
"D'you think she meant to actually hit us?" Mara asked. "Possibly," Erik said, "although I doubt it. Most likely she wanted us as prisoners-or me, at least, as I am apparently in a great position of power." Mara swallowed her irritation at his arrogance because she wanted answers to some of her questions.
"Where are we?" she asked. "In the Star Trek universe, it would seem," Erik answered, sipping his coffee and grimacing as it burned on the way down. "I'm an admiral, you're a doctor." He cackled softly as he thought about the fact that he was an admiral.
"Is there any way to get back?" Erik looked at Mara in absolute astonishment. He nearly dropped his coffee he was so shocked.
"Why would you want to go back?" he asked. Mara looked at him incredulously as though he had suddenly sprouted another head. "Because we don't belong here?" she said, trying to clue him in. "Because we belong in the 21st century A.D. in New York City: me as a nurse, not a doctor, you as a U.S. senator, not an admiral, and Val as a lawyer/author, not a Romulan commander-if indeed that's what she is."
"She is," Erik assured her. "My point is," Mara said, "I want to go back. I don't like this century, this ship, or this universe. I like the 21st century, the earth beneath my feet, and being in the Milky Way galaxy-are we even still in the Milky Way?"
Erik rolled his eyes. "Yes," he said in disgust. "Well excuse me for not being a total Star Trek know-it-all," Mara said defensively. "Whatever," Erik said. He drained the rest of his coffee and bid her farewell. "I am returning to the bridge," he said. "I would suggest you return to the sickbay." "Maybe I don't want to," Mara said. He bent down a little bit. "Tough," he said. "Go. Now."
"Party pooper," Mara grumbled as she headed her own way, back down to the sickbay, her mind full of questions and wondering how in heck she could get back to her home.