A/N: Ever been really stressed? Yeah, well, that's what I am right now over a lot of things so I'm really sorry for not updating sooner and if you hate what I did with this story after this chapter, I'm also really sorry. I'm really sorry if I offend anyone, but I promise you this story isn't over and things will get better. This is a really hard chapter to write and I'm sorry it took so long, but I needed the time to think about the direction of this story. Things have cleared up a little now.
As for typos, pretty soon I am going to go through a massive clean up and edit all the previous chapters.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
"Today," Ryan started as everyone arrived, "We have to let one of you lovely couples go. In order to do this, we are going to split you up with your former significant other. This is a game that involves trust and stability. These are two more key factors that go into a relationship."
Ryan asked everyone to follow him as they walked away from their house and headed to a different area, which no one had ever seen before. The area was wooded and there was a set up that involved what looked like a large pit, which was covered for the time being, so they couldn't see what was underneath. Above the pit, there were narrow pieces of wood. This was enough to have Lizzie freaked out. Then again, no one looked too excited about this mission. They knew what they were hiding was some type of animal.
"Now, most of you are probably wondering what we are hiding underneath there. Well, you will find out in a few minutes, but first let me explain to you what you need to do to complete this activity. You see, the way this works is that all of you will cross this pit, but the four of you will be blind folded and they guys will have to tell them what to do. The only catch is that only your roommate and his or her ex can watch you, but they can say nothing. If they say anything, you will be disqualified. This will be a timed competition, so in the event that more than one person falls, there will be a rematch."
A few moments later, what was underneath was revealed. It was a pit of snakes. Lizzie didn't know quite what to think of this. She knew that she would be blindfolded and that yeah, she trusted Ethan, but this was not something she was looking forward to doing. Gordo felt practically the same way, but wasn't about to complain about it or anything. Most of all, he worried about Lizzie. He knew didn't like certain animals, especially spiders and snakes, and wondered how calm she would be about this.
The whole thing was crazy. Mary went first and the word got out that she slipped. This was not a good way to start everything and Lizzie was not looking forward to being stuck with Elizabeth's character if that was the way it was going to go down. However, Lizzie managed to get across with little trouble. Ethan was a good guide and seemed to realize that Lizzie didn't like this one bit. This eased Gordo a little bit. Elizabeth also seemed to make it across with little difficulty. It seemed pretty apparent, even after George and his ex crossed cleanly, that Mary and George would be going home. Everyone seemed to make it across without much difficulty after Mary. Lizzie wondered if this was a set up. Sort of like if they were testing how she would size up to this bitch named Elizabeth. She didn't say anything, but she sort of resented the fact that Mary couldn't be with her for the rest of this. She would have to convince herself that Elizabeth was just staying in character and she wasn't like this in real life.
It all happened so quickly, though. After the challenge was over, they went back and Greg made it official that Mary and George were going home and bid farewell to the extra people who came and thanked them for their help. Two hours later, everyone was packed up and gone…and then there were four.
Lizzie didn't think that things couldn't get any worse after that day, but then again, the world hadn't been on her side lately. The rest of the day went by fairly smoothly. Lizzie refused to even try to deal with Elizabeth until dinner, and even then, nothing was really said. Lizzie didn't think she would be so upset over this game, but everything was getting so unnerving. Even if whatever Elizabeth said could be discounted for because she was acting, Lizzie didn't want to get into it. She felt too frustrated to deal with anything. She didn't even want to talk to Gordo. She thought she was so ready to talk to Gordo, but she wasn't. She had all these things going on that were getting to her that she just didn't want to deal with people. After dinner, she went right to bed. She didn't care what the producers had to say.
She didn't expect to be this upset over Mary's absence, but she realized that she wasn't just upset about Mary's absence. It was the whole game. She had a past with Gordo and didn't want the whole world to be aware of her past. Being with Gordo over the past few days made her realize how much she still loved him, but she hated falling in love with him like this. She just wanted to go back to her own life and get away from this reality show setting. She wanted to be able to actually converse with Gordo about everything…knowing that they weren't sleeping in the same bed that night. She wanted time away from him to figure out some things, and she wanted out of this crappy show. She wasn't an actress and she'd never felt like such a liar and slut in her life. She had so many unfinished demons involving Gordo and the past that she could no longer bear this lie that the whole world would know her for.
At least, that's what she thought about that night. She was overwhelmed by a lot of things and knew that if she could just get a few hours to herself to handle all these emotions, she would be okay…for the time being. She lay in bed almost half the night trying to think about all these things and trying to decided if they were worth handling. Gordo offered to listen when he noticed she was upset, but Lizzie refused, knowing that if Gordo knew half the things she was thinking, he'd want out of this himself.
Lizzie hated knowing that the whole world was watching a lie. The only positive thing that came out of this besides the money (which, at this point, didn't matter) was getting to know Gordo again. However, she didn't know if this was good or bad because at this rate, they could leave each other on worse terms than they did before. Gordo was nice enough to offer that he find somewhere else to sleep that night, which made Lizzie grateful.
When Lizzie finally fell asleep that night, she had a lot to sleep on. Whether things happened between her and Gordo or not by the end of this, she would always be living a lie.
When Gordo agreed to sleep somewhere else, the producers offered that he could sleep in the small house that was occupied by Mary and George. Gordo accepted this offer, and while he was happy that he could finally have a night to himself to think about everything, he had a feeling that whatever was going through Lizzie's head was ten times as worse, and for this, he also stayed up a little longer than he expected. He wondered if he would ever get a good night's sleep again. More importantly, however, he wondered if he would ever get a chance to speak to Lizzie again.
The next day, Lizzie tried to wake up with a completely different attitude. She had one more day of this before it would be over for the time being. She thought she scared the producers with the way she acted the night before because their was no meeting to go to and no one gave them any instructions as to go about this final day. She would have no competition until the next day, so today seemed like a good day o hang out. Lizzie accepted this as a truth and convinced herself to make it though the day fearless and possibly see if there was a better side to Elizabeth
Lizzie ate breakfast by herself and took a shower and got dressed for the day before leaving the love hut to see what was going on. She slept in until about ten, which was unusually late for Lizzie, but Lizzie was glad she got the extra sleep for the sake of her sanity. The long shower she took helped a lot, too. She didn't really want to deal with anyone, but she knew she would have to, so when she found out that Gordo was staying in the small house, she knocked on the door, hoping to have a chance to thank Gordo for letting her be by herself and possibly get a chance to say some things she'd been wanting to say…but she wanted to see how everything went first. She hoped, most importantly, that he hadn't taken her request personally.
When she knocked, it took a few seconds before he answered the door. It appeared that he had just woken up himself, and was just getting out of the shower, "Hey!" he said, opened the door wider to let her in, "I was worried that you were going to be one of the producers of the show or something."
Lizzie walked in and said nothing as she just looked at him, we from just getting out of the shower, wearing nothing but pants. He smiled, as if he expected her to say something, but she didn't. She cleared her throat, "Um, would you mind putting a shirt on or something?" It wasn't anything personal, but she knew that it was going to be really hard to have a conversation with someone who wasn't wearing a shirt. He looked too good without a shirt on to take seriously.
He disappeared and reappeared as he was putting the shirt on and asked if she wanted to go to the living room. The small house was a little larger than the love hut and it actually had a living room. Lizzie agreed, although she wasn't sure how long this conversation would take and if it was worth taking it somewhere else.
"So," he said, unusually happy, which made Lizzie wonder what was up with him, "are you feeling better?" he did look a little worried as he asked this and put his hand on her arm to comfort her.
Lizzie nodded, "I am, actually," she said, "and that's why I wanted to come over here and talk to you."
Gordo's heart beat a little faster. Maybe this would be her moment of truth. Maybe this would be her time to confess about how much she …
Her words interrupted his thoughts, "Gordo, thank you so much for letting me be by myself last night. I really needed that time to think about a lot of things that have been going on in my mind lately and I appreciate it more than you know."
Gordo smiled, although he was a little upset, "well," he rubbed her arm, "you looked upset last night and I figured you could use that time and truthfully, I needed a little time myself."
Lizzie smiled, "Yeah, I guess this whole thing has been a little overwhelming."
Gordo nodded his head, "Yeah, I agree. Do you feel a little better now?"
Lizzie sighed. This worried Gordo, because the sigh didn't seem very uplifting, "I don't know…I guess I'm just a little frustrated, you know? I mean, I've always wondered what it would be like to see you again, but I didn't ever think it would, especially with cameras and everything. I feel like this is all a lie and for the rest of my life, I'll be Tory and you'll be Daniel and if anything happens to us, we'll always be Tory and Daniel. People will never know the real us and never appreciate who we are and what we've been through in the past. I don't want to be in the public's eye Gordo. I don't want to be in People magazine and have offers to go on talk shows and…I most of all just want to be normal."
Gordo nodded. So this was what she was thinking about all night. He hadn't really thought about the entire outcome with the show and everything, but she had a point. He didn't know what to say to this, mostly because he couldn't make the producers abolish this program. They signed a contract and they couldn't get out of it. He never thought that if they won, they would be living a lie. The more time he was Daniel, the more he hated Daniel, but he assumed he could stop being Daniel as soon as this was all over. But maybe he couldn't. He hated watching Lizzie as she looked as if she was going to cry. He felt partially to blame for this. He pulled her closer to her and could only say, "It's going to be okay, Liz, It'll be okay."
Lizzie sniffed as she leaned her head on Gordo's shoulder, "Do you really think it will be okay?"
Gordo nodded, not that he believed himself, but because he knew this was not a good time to be critical, "Most reality TV stars have their five minutes of fame and go back to their own life. People won't care for that long and we can do whatever we want for the rest of our lives. We don't have to tell anyone else who we really are and people can think what they want to think…no matter what really happens."
Lizzie didn't seem too convinced, but she didn't really want to talk about it any longer. She pulled herself together and got up from the couch, to Gordo's disappointment. He was pretty sure they were going to have a moment of truth when she was in his hands, but she got up before anything could happen that would cause their relationship to progress. Because of what Lizzie said, however, Gordo seemed a little more convinced that his feelings were mutual and part of the reason Lizzie wasn't doing anything about it was not because she didn't like him, but because the whole world was watching them and this made Lizzie uncomfortable.
Lizzie sat down in the chair across from him for a few minutes, trying to sort everything that was going on in her head, particularly the things that were going on with Gordo. If they left tomorrow, there wouldn't be any closure and certain demons and feelings of guilt might never be set free. She might live the rest of her life the same depressed chick she was before, feeling worse and living a lie.
And if she and Gordo left on good terms, knowing that there was still a chance, she wondered how long it would last. She wondered if she told Gordo EVERYTHING that happened over that last five years, would he be able to accept certain things? Would it be easy to come to terms with a new beginning when so much of the past could get in the way?
Gordo watched her, as she seemed as though she was sorting things out. He wondered if he should take a change and ask her what she was thinking about. He wanted to let her know he cared about her, but he couldn't tell if she wanted to share what she was thinking. He decided to resist and finish getting ready for the day and leave her there for as long as she wanted to be there.
Lizzie heard a knock on the door and that interrupted her thoughts. She got up and answered the door, to be greeted by Elizabeth on the other side, "Hey," Elizabeth said, "we were wondering if you would ever come out of this place. Would you and Daniel like to have lunch with us?"
"Um…" Lizzie started, trying to figure out what time it was and pull her thoughts together, "sure. We'll be ready in a few minutes. We'll meet you in the dining room?"
Elizabeth smiled, "sounds great. I'll see you in a few minutes."
Gordo appeared and Lizzie told him what was going on, "Are you sure you want to eat with them? I mean, we don't have to if we don't want to."
Lizzie rolled her eyes, "Gordo, I really want to convince myself that Elizabeth is only acting like a bitch. The only way I can figure that out is if we spend time with her."
"Okay," Gordo said, a little skeptical. He didn't know what to make of anything right then, but decided to go along with it. He had a feeling that by the end of the day, he would have the opportunity to talk to Lizzie and both of them would leave this place a little, if not a lot, happier and settled then they were before, whether the world would watch them or not.
They arrived in the dining room and the set up looked pretty amazing, even though it was nothing spectacular. The table was smaller and was set for four. Gordo and Lizzie sat on one side and Elizabeth and George sat on the other side. The room seemed so much bigger than it did before, with all the extra space gained from the smaller table. For lunch, they had cheeseburgers and French fries, which was refreshing.
"I can't believe this is our last day here," Elizabeth said, "I mean, I feel like I've been here forever and known all of you all my life."
Lizzie smiled, "Yeah, its pretty weird that we will all be leaving tomorrow."
They ate and Elizabeth seemed very cordial as they talked about the past week and the various things that happened. Lizzie hoped that Elizabeth was always like this and liked the fact that there wasn't a camera around as they ate. George and Gordo chimed in a little, but it was a pleasant lunch. They were asked to do some interviews and were told that they would be filming that afternoon, but Lizzie felt like she could at least leave here knowing that the real Elizabeth was more human than evil.
After the interviews, they all hung out outside. It was a beautiful day and they sat there and talked a little more about their personal lives. The cameras were there, so Lizzie had a feeling that she could expect to feel a little dominated.
Little did she know that whatever was about to happen might break her and Gordo forever.
It all started when Elizabeth lit her cigarette. Gordo, because he was Gordo, said something along the lines of, "You know those things will kill you, right?"
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, and exhaled, "Yeah, so what's your point?"
Gordo shrugged, "All I'm saying is that as a friend, I don't want you to die."
Elizabeth took the cigarette out of her mouth for a minute, still not looking all that impressed, "Daniel, you've known me for eight days and you've seen me smoke dozens of times. Why, now, are you trying to get into this?"
Gordo shrugged. He didn't really mean to start something, however, he felt the need to stick up for himself, "I'm sorry I spoke up, but as a son of two doctors, I just figured I might remind you."
Elizabeth seemed less than impressed, "Do you always go around preaching people for things you don't approve of?" She turned to Lizzie, "Tory, does he treat you like this?"
Lizzie shook her head, "Hey, Dan, why don't you just stop it, okay?" he said, hoping Gordo would take the hint.
Gordo shrugged it off, "Okay, fine. I'm sorry."
"Okay, then," Elizabeth said, "apology accepted. I'm sorry myself. I know you are well intentioned, but believe me, I have had it up to here with guys trying to tell girls what to do with their lives as if they own them."
"Well, I wasn't trying to do that, you can do whatever you want to do," Gordo said.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, "You know, before I left, my friend found out she was pregnant, and you know, because she's trying to go to graduate school, she decided she would, you know have an abortion."
Lizzie had a feeling she wasn't going to like where this was going. She had a feeling that this was going to become somewhat of a moment of truth for her that she most dreaded.
"Anyway, her boyfriend found out she was pregnant going to have an abortion and flipped out because he didn't think she should have an abortion. She had it, though, and they broke up. I told her that, you know, she had the right to making her own choice and he wasn't good enough for her because he didn't want her to make her own decisions. That's why she didn't tell him she was pregnant in the first place."
"Wait…what? She wasn't going to tell him she was pregnant? She wasn't going to tell the father of her child that she was pregnant?" Gordo asked. Lizzie bit her lip, "How did he find out, then?"
"The doctor called and he picked up, but that's not important. Do you realize how many babies are abandoned each year because their father insisted that they would be carried to full term? Do you realize that thousands of babies don't have a father because of this?"
"Well, yeah," Gordo said, "But the father has a right to know what is going on and also has a right to his opinion."
Lizzie was feeling more and more uncomfortable. She wanted to leave, but didn't know how to leave without making it obvious that she was bothered by something.
"But it's her choice. Whether she told him or not about the pregnancy is unimportant because it was her choice. Maybe she should have told him, but she had her reasons and she didn't feel like she was ready to have a child."
Gordo shook his head, "I'm sorry, and I know there are a lot of lousy fathers out there, but they deserve to know what is going on and if a couple is comfortable enough about having sex, they should be comfortable enough with having a discussion about options."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes once more, "You are such a pig, you know that?"
"What?" Gordo said, defensively, "I'm a male. If I got a woman pregnant, whether I loved her or not, I'd want to know what was going on. I'd also want the opportunity to be there with her and discuss what possible things we could do. A mother has a right to make a choice, but the father has a right to know and a right to his own opinion. I don't know your friend or her ex-boyfriend, however, so I don't mean to make this personal."
Lizzie couldn't take it anymore. As she sat there, she silently started crying and Gordo didn't even look at her once and notice she was crying. Lizzie cleared her throat and stood up and headed towards the Love Hut.
"Where are you going?" Gordo called, getting up and running after her. He tried to put his hands on her arms and when she saw she was crying, he asked, "what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Lizzie shook him off angrily, though, "Gordo, what you just said back there made me realize why I'm having so much difficulty coming to terms with everything I'm feeling and how different you and I are after all."
"What?" Gordo asked, confused, "What do you mean?"
Lizzie glared at Gordo as she started to walk away, "Everything you said back there," she pointed over that the others who were about fifty yards away and quickly turned when she pointed, "I took personally."
Lizzie ran ahead and slammed the door of the Love Hut before Gordo could make any sense of what Lizzie just said. He stood there, staring at the door, hoping she would explain herself, but she didn't. He didn't know what to do and he didn't know what the problem was with Lizzie.
Lizzie knew what the problem was, however. The demon that she tried so hard to forget about over the past five years or so and especially recently had resurfaced.
Five years ago, Lizzie McGuire had an abortion.