A/N: I didn't really want to leave a heavy cliffhanger like that, which is why I decided to post this chapter as well.

Chapter Thirty

Lizzie McGuire was not very good at keeping secrets. When she was a sophomore in high school and she heard Kate Sanchez' parents found cigarettes in her room, she didn't think twice before telling Gordo and Miranda about this and laughing about it. She liked to know what was going on and she liked talking about it. In fact, she told secrets about Miranda to Gordo and vice versa. Gordo knew that Miranda didn't get into USC because Lizzie told her and Miranda knew Gordo almost made a C in chemistry because the night before a lab was due, Lizzie distracted him. This went on pretty much through high school and even when Gordo and Lizzie were dating, they still shared secrets…unless the secret involved Lizzie, of course.

Lizzie and Gordo broke up on pretty nasty terms. Lizzie never wanted to speak to Gordo again and Gordo didn't care to speak to her either. When they went on their separate ways, Gordo assumed that they broke up and that would be the end of the story of Lizzie and Gordo.

It wasn't though. Lizzie found out the day before Gordo was going to leave for the summer program at his college, Northwestern University, that she was pregnant. It was the middle of June and Lizzie noticed that she was late and figured it was due to stress, but doctors confirmed that she was, indeed, expecting. Lizzie didn't want to tell anyone about it…not Miranda, not her parents, and definitely not Gordo, however, she knew she had to think about all of this. Ultimately, she confided in her mother and Jo told her it was her decision and she would respect any decision Lizzie made and try to be there for her when she needed support. After thinking about her future, and how to tell Gordo everything and considering her recent past with Gordo, Lizzie decided to get an abortion. Her mother promised never to tell anyone about this, other than her father, and she went with Lizzie up to a woman's clinic an hour away from Hill Ridge.

Lizzie never told anyone about this and when she was recovering that July, she just told Miranda that she had really bad food poisoning. That was the end of that.

Lizzie had her reasons for not telling Gordo. She knew that Gordo, despite their recent problems, would want to "do the right thing" and be with her and everything, which was something she wasn't willing to handle. Her mother didn't agree with her about this, but understood that Lizzie had a right to her own privacy and was just glad that she told her so she could have someone to be with. Lizzie had immense amount of guilt after she went through with it, knowing that if Gordo ever found out, he would hate her forever. She also seemed to struggle with coming to terms with what all had happened. She started college depressed and one weekend, while she was at home, her mother suggested that for closure, she might want to at least call Gordo and talk to him.

Lizzie thought she was ready and dialed his cell phone number that night. It rang four or five times, but he didn't pick up. Lizzie hung up and decided she never wanted to try calling him again. What if he did pick up one day? What would she say?

Eventually, through psychological guidance, Lizzie came to terms and was able to get on with her life. She managed to convince herself that she made the best decision for herself. She still never told Miranda about this and never told anyone else what she went through, mainly because she figured everyone would judge her.

Lately, among all these other thoughts she'd been having, she wondered if she should tell Gordo the truth about everything. She knew that if they did have a relationship after this, she would have to eventually, and this scared her. It scared her more and more everyday as she struggled to come to terms with what was happening. This was the one demon that was standing in her way from spending the rest of her life with Gordo.

Gordo didn't know any of this, however, and was still trying to make sense of what Lizzie had just said. Lizzie seemed really upset for some reason, and Gordo really wanted to get to the bottom of this. They were talking about choices when Lizzie seemed to get upset. Maybe Lizzie took that personally because made a choice that she didn't think Gordo would like. She started toward the hut and knocked on the door, "Will you please just talk to me?" Gordo called, "I want to talk to you and I want to know what is bothering you. Maybe we can work it out."

There was no response, though, and Gordo decided to return to Elizabeth and James. Maybe they would have a better idea of what was going on. "Is she okay, man?" James asked.

Gordo shook his head, "I have know idea what is going on. All she said was 'I took it personally,' and that was that."

Elizabeth and James exchanged looks and Elizabeth put out her cigarette, "Daniel," Elizabeth started as she leaned in a little closer, "I don't want to jump to conclusions but do you think you offended her with going off about abortion?"

"I don't see how that could have offended her. It's not like she'd had an…" Gordo stopped. Or had she? He didn't know for sure.

Elizabeth spoke up, "If I were you, Danny, I would assume that this could be about anything."

"Right," Gordo said, still stuck on the idea that Lizzie might have had an abortion. It made sense in a weird way, but at the same time, Lizzie didn't seem like the kind of person that would get an abortion. Maybe after all these years, they had changed after all. He stood up, "Maybe I should try to talk to her."

Elizabeth nodded, "Yeah, maybe so."

"Good luck, man," James said.

Gordo walked slowly toward the hut trying to come up with any other conclusion. It was true that he didn't know her at all over the past five years, but he thought she distinctly said that she hadn't had anything serious since him. Maybe she lied, though. Gordo really didn't know what to make of any of this.

Once again, he tried knocking on the door, "Lizzie," he said, trying to sound calm, "Lizzie, can we please talk? Something is obviously bothering you and I think if I offended you we should at least try to talk about it. Lizzie?"

"Go away!" Lizzie yelled, "I don't want to talk to you right now because I'll only upset you."

"You won't upset me. Please, Lizzie, I promise you'll feel better if you talk about this. I'll understand."

A few minutes of this passed and Lizzie finally gave in. When she opened the door, Gordo could tell that she was really upset. "Don't hate me, Gordo," she whispered as she let him come in, "Please, don't hate me."

Gordo entered, shaking his head, "How could I ever hate you? You'll always be perfect in my eyes, Lizzie."

Lizzie sniffed and walked into the bedroom, not convinced that he would feel the same way in a few minutes. Gordo followed. Lizzie sat down on the bed and Gordo sat next to her and took her hand and rested it on his lap. "Lizzie," he asked, with a concerned look on his face, "why are you so upset."

Lizzie sighed, unable to look at him, so she looked down, "Gordo, there is something I never told you that I think I should have told you a long time ago, but it was hard for me at the time and," Lizzie said, choking up, "and I didn't want to deal with it."

Gordo gulped. "Go on," he encouraged.

"Gordo, I had an abortion."

Lizzie looked at Gordo to see how he was handling the news. He looked as if he didn't know what to say, "Okay," he finally said, "and when did this happen? Recently? A few years ago? While you were in college?"

Something very important wasn't getting through Gordo's head. Gordo had yet to realize that he almost fathered a child.

Lizzie looked down as she tried desperately to think of words to say that would let him know. She was a mess. The only thing she could do was look up and shake her head.

"Did you know the father, Lizzie? Did you love the father? Did you tell the father. Did the father hurt you, Lizzie? Did the father try to talk you out of it? Was he supportive?" It pained Gordo to talk about the idea that Lizzie might have loved someone after their history, but he knew that she needed to know that he was okay with it."

He still was trying to get to the bottom of what offended her. He wasn't against the idea of abortion, he was only against the idea of not telling the guy about it.

"Y-you," he pointed at him with the hand he wasn't holding. It was the only thing she could say.

"What about me, Lizzie? Are you afraid that I'm going to be mad or something?"

Lizzie nodded and Gordo pulled Lizzie to him to give her comfort, "It's okay, Lizzie, I promise you I won't get mad. I've fallen in love with you these past few days and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind."

Lizzie calmed down a little and nodded her head, "Yes, I knew the fa-ther. I loved him, too. I n-never t-old him and he n-ever h-hurt m-me."

Gordo comforted her, thinking he realized how he offended her. She never told the father about it. "Lizzie, you know, have you ever talked to anyone about this? You know, like a psycologist? They can help you if you need help. I'll go with you."

Lizzie shook her head, "No, Gordo, I mean, yes, I saw some people, but this all happened a long time ago."

"Oh," Gordo said, wondering if he knew the guy. It was none of his business, but if it happened that long ago, who knew?

"Gordo," Lizzie said, closing her eyes to gain some type of courage. She knew what she had to say, "Gordo, it was you who was going to be the father."

Gordo blinked, let go of Lizzie's hand and looked right at Lizzie, "what?"

"I found out right as you were leaving about it. I didn't know what to do."

Gordo stood up, trying to register what he never considered. "You mean to tell me that I could be a father?"

Lizzie nodded, "Well, yeah, but it was right after we broke up and I was still angry at you."

Gordo shook his head. He wasn't taking this news very well, but he felt like he needed to get to the bottom of it, "Lizzie, I would have understood. You should never have gone through that alone…you never told me? You never stopped to think, 'well, I know I'm mad at the father, but he might like to know what is going on?? How?"

"Gordo," Lizzie said, getting a little defensive, "Looking back, I know I should have told you what was going on and told you every single detail of how I managed to cope through breaking up with you and get an abortion in one summer, but at the time, I never wanted to speak to you. It was hard Gordo, but I felt guilty enough with it all and didn't see a point in making two people feel guilty."

"Yeah, but we loved each other, Lizzie. I thought I was going to marry you and we would be starting a family by now."

"Well, we didn't live each other anymore, did we? I didn't want you to feel obligated to marry me when we still wanted to kill each other. I didn't want this child to be resented. I didn't want you to know how weak of a person I am."

Gordo thought about what she said, "I would have married you, Lizzie. I still loved you then, and we would have not had to waste all these years hating each other. In fact, I don't think I ever stopped loving you. It would have been my pleasure to have married you, Lizzie."

"Well, what about college? I was not going to go to college pregnant and I didn't want people to start assuming things. People knew how I felt about you. Had I given birth to a child, people would have assumed that I was a slut. I didn't want that. I wanted privacy. I don't regret having an abortion, Gordo, and I honestly don't think you do either. I just think you are mad at me for not telling you. I knew you would want to do what was right, but I didn't want that type of embarrassment. I went through hell that summer, Gordo. No one knew what type of hell I was going through. Not Miranda, not Ethan, and not you. I told my mom, but that was it."

Gordo shook his head, "I just don't understand how you could be so stubborn. I'm not like other guys. Whether we were together or not, I had a right to know what was going on. It only took a phone call."

"Only a phone call?" Lizzie asked, "Gordo, you and I hated each other. I wanted tocastrate you before I found out I was pregnant. When I found out, though, I realized how important you were in my life and yes, I struggled, but between raising a child at eighteen and aborting it, I did what I felt was right for me. I wanted to talk to you about all this stuff, but I didn't know how to, seeing as you still thought I was with Ethan. Going into college, I was depressed. I was seeing someone once a week and struggling to come to terms with the fact that we were no longer together. I came home one weekend and my mom tried to convince me to call you for some type of closure. It took a while to dial, but when I finally did, you didn't answer and I decided it was too hard to try to call you again. That being said, however, I needed time to myself to figure things out. I'm sorry you never stopped loving me and I'm sure I never really stopped loving you, but I did not want to be reminded of what happened when I looked at my child."

Gordo sighed, "I'm sorry, but it's hard for me to not get upset. I feel like this could have been an opportunity to talk about what happened and not go through college so jumbled with relationships. I could argue with you about this for days, but I don't think that would get us anywhere."

"You promised you wouldn't get mad," Lizzie said, "You were the one who insisted that I tell you."

"Well," Gordo said as he proceeded to leave the room, "You should have told me five years ago." Gordo left and walked off to the little house and slammed the door behind him. He felt so betrayed by all of this.

(end of chapter)

A/N: I'll try my best to update and get this issue somewhat resolved by the end of the week. I'm sorry it took so long.