A/N Still can't find the box. It probably ended up in the wrong room. Either that or I just keep looking at it, telling myself 'not that one.'
Heather, I know you want an update. I'm thinking I might just wing it now, much as I don't like doing that.
Ok. This has grown a bit more than I thought possible, due to extreme boredom. So, this chapter is Elisabeth's POV.
? Space?
A friend once told me she felt her husband die, like she was in the car next to him. I just thought she was trying to make herself feel better, that maybe by thinking she was there she could make it all better somehow.
I know what she meant now.
Major Sheppard and his team had only been gone for an hour or so when I felt it. It was like, well, how do you describe death? There are millions of cliché's, but none of them come close. It was almost like seeing it in real time. Even before the gate dialed in, I knew there was no hope. And I just knew it was Rodney.
I'm standing here looking at the only picture I have of him. He's so happy, almost carefree. Dr. Zelenka had wanted photographs of the city to send to earth if we ever made contact. After a while, the project turned into a candid camera game.
He's alone in this picture, but you can see that he's speaking to someone. I think it's me, but I forget now. He's gone, so what does it matter? I can see his blue eyes so clearly, though. It's like they're sparkling in the light. I miss that sparkle, the one that says we'll be alright. I know I won't, not any more.
I should go inside with the rest of the crew. We held the wake this morning, and everyone has gone back to their duties. Everyone except me. I'm still here, standing on this balcony that he loved so much, waiting for him to come out and offer a word of sympathy. Maybe a quick hug, but nothing more. I never pushed for more, because I thought tomorrow would always be there. Maybe I should have said something to him, something to push him in the right direction.
He told me how he felt, but it was too late. Too late to hold each other close, too late to wipe away the tears that formed after a horrible mission. To late to even say good bye.
I put that picture back in my pocket and turn towards the door. Everyone is waiting inside, I can feel that too. Before I go, I whisper to the cold ocean. It's just five little words, but maybe they will keep me sane in the months to come.
"I love you too, Rodney."