Teach Me To Say Goodbye

I knew that he had said he was leaving, but I had not actually taken him seriously. Frodo? Leaving the Shire? After all that we'd been through! How could he do this to me? Leave me alone? He just can't do it!

My mind had swirled so long ago of Frodo, my best friend, standing by like an adoptive uncle while my children had grown up. I had expected him to stay until the very end. I had been naïve in thinking that.

I knew that… that thing had ruined him. I knew how much it troubled him even when it was gone. I saw him sick on the anniversaries of Shelob's stings. I was well aware of his suffering and pain on the commemorations of Weathertop. But I had always thought he could overcome those things, with time.

I had been unbelievably naïve.

Frodo's place was not here in the Shire with me and my Rosie. Frodo had passed on his life here when he had agreed to take It to Mordor. I should have realized that, long ago, so that I might prepared myself for his departure. I cannot believe how foolish I was.

The words had failed in my throat when he had announced that he was going to The Havens to sail into the West. The tears had sprung to life behind my eyes, and they all fell so freely, then and now.

As I write these words, I still do not how I managed to not burst into wails of despair and misery. I felt so awful, almost betrayed, though I knew that Frodo's act was not of betrayal. I know now that it was what was right for him, and I should never have thought he would survive it all.

I found ice freezing my throat. I could not speak, but the way he looked at me, so sad as well at our parting, the ice melted in my throat for words I could not say. He kissed me softly on the crown of my head, the tears in my eyes now flowing like a never ending fountain. He gripped my shoulder encouragingly, wordlessly telling me to take strength and that we would meet again, someday, in this world or the next. My face was downward, trying to hide my tears. I saw small droplets of water fall onto his waistcoat. His fingers went under my chin and lifted it up, and I saw his smile, shining brightly through his own tears.

"Farewell, my dear Sam."

And he went aboard the ship and looked back at all three of us and smiled one last bright smile before disappearing into the ship.

The three of us stood at the waters' edge well into the night, each of us silently weeping. None of us spoke a word, each of our thoughts dwelling on the dark waters ahead of us, and the ship the waters bore even now.

We finally turned away and returned to our homes, returned to our lives, forever knowing the void that would be in them due to the departure of our dear, dear friend.

Words that I did not speak then I write now: Goodbye, my dear Frodo. I hope I shall see you again, someday.

AN:

This is just a few words on Sam's feelings. Please review.