Despite Fate

By Starhopper

DISCLAIMER: All characters hereforth manipulated are the property of Takaya-sensei. The party of the first-part owns nothing except her furuba anime, manga, and Yuki merchandise.

As the title says:

Chapter 6:

"Please, Enjoy the Show"

The stage had long reappeared, and Kyou gawked at the show while Sohma after Sohma paraded across its center. As a display it was sickening, for his cousins continued to transform for show as if they were taking part in an unnatural performing circus. And yet, there was humor to the graceful bows each zodiac member gave after they poofed into a bounding bunny or fearsome tiger . . . like they only existed to prod a laugh from their nonexistent audience.

And he, the outcast cat, was privileged to clap his front paws together in muffled applause.

Even Hatori for all his dour demeanor, gave a twirl in midair before taking the shape of a harmless and helpless seahorse. As he spun, Shigure wheeled out a glass bowl filled with water, unceremoniously dumped a box of salt into it, then stood back and watched appreciatively as Hatori landed in the water with a picture-perfect plop. Next, Koureno graced the stage with his under toned presence and as he alighted the stage, he took flight, slowing spreading wings from outstretched arms to become his fabled bird sign. The small red bird darted into the farthest wings of the dark auditorium, then flashed into view, inches away from the sharpened fangs of the cat waiting with tail twitching. This drew an enormous shudder of delight from the empty seats around Kyou who wondered as to whether it was he who had made the awed purr or that the other witnesses to Koureno's flighty escapade were invisible. But there was no length of time available to let the mind wander, for the next act proved even more sensational than the first or even the second. No, this was a feat to be witnessed by the most privileged of the masses.

Kyou rose without thought, leaping to the next row nearest the stage. Using the tops of the theater seats as convenient landing and takeoff, the orange cat was able to reach the bottom of the stage and stare up at the two meandering about it now. Sitting from his vulnerable position in the center row, Kyou could only watch as Yuki pulled Tohru through some fanciful dance. The girl he'd watched for years had transformed too into a fairytale princess complete with sparkling crown and flowing yellow chiffon robes. The rat wore similar attire, though the billowing skirt was replaced with a purple leotard that cleaved silence in the air as he danced. Upon catching Tohru, he promptly turned into the rat that still scurried about to the dance routine, refusing to give up on one little technicality. An ever-dutiful partner, Tohru spun and glided to his microscopic steps, twisting about his pace as if he was human and holding her hand. Behind Kyou, the audience barked out laughter, but Kyou could see nothing funny about the situation. No, the way the onigiri continued to cling to her rat Prince in his other form was downright pitiful. Couldn't she see that he wasn't good enough for her? That no one was?

It was then that Kyou decided to alight the stage, and upon landing again craned his cat neck to see through the glaring stage lights to the beautiful soul of the girl and found it was just as bright. Lifting a paw to shield his sensitive eyes, Kyou struggled to make out the form of Tohru holding something near to her cheek. He could have sworn that from somewhere outside of his dream, the lights dimmed and suddenly the blurry visage of yellow and flesh tones became fine and clear. Still dancing, Tohru held the rat in one hand and gestured aesthetically with the other, twirling about. Yuki mimicked her every move while tiptoeing over her palm, his bright purple eyes shining like polished stones. They were clearly very precious in the eyes of the girl, those same eyes that Kyou gave his utmost attention to, plainly ignoring the look in the rat's eyes he had become only too familiar with over the years.

It had stared back at him from the mirror for nearly five years after every breakfast with her cheery welcome to redden his ears and cheeks.

Now he saw it reflected behind lowered lashes. That gaze, it was one of ever-flowing love and trust. Concern was also inexplicably tied within the two as well, though in Yuki's case, it wasn't so shocking to see it flashing at the corners of her eyes. Everyone, including himself to some extent, was concerned for the rat's health and crumbling barriers. But this, this was a different concern entirely, bridging between the gaps of a deeper curiosity and the urge to make him happy, deliriously happy by just being there with him. Dancing with him despite the physical shape he took.

'She loves him.' He thought suddenly, backing away, spine slightly arched in reproach. Then, his back straightened as he kneaded his front toes into the stage, settling his stomach on the floor. Assuming the speculative sphinx posture, Kyou continued to muse on the subject, his back prickling with the funny feeling that there was more to know about this new idea.

Was it, 'She loves – HIM – .'

Or,' – SHE – loves him." ?

Which one was he really upset about: the fact that she chose Yuki, that despicable rodent, over him or that she had decided to love that same rat without even considering the alternatives?

"Did she ever love me?" he found himself meowing as Tohru and Yuki glided up the stage, drawing nearer to him. "More than a friend?"

"I was more afraid of losing a friend," Tohru's voice echoed in the auditorium rafters and from the dancing Tohru's own lips. Kyou's ears swiveled this way and that, trying to decipher which and in the process caught an answering echo of, "I love him, I don't wish anything could've been different,"

No, she had never loved him with more than friendly intentions. She loved him as much as she loved anyone and everyone else in this world that would let her.

Was he to begrudge her that magnificent skill because it had wounded him personally? Was he going to stand in the way of the gaze and block its target, killing its sense of purpose and thus positively murdering those wondrous eyes that guided it? No. He loved and respected her and that heart of hers. It was only logical and right that he could learn to respect the decisions and choices she made with it.

"Even if she didn't choose me," he whispered softly, finding the words hard to say and even harder to hear echo off the stage. "Even if I can never be included in something that I was never destined to be apart of in the first place,"

Suddenly the walls began to shake and the incorporeal audience began to shriek, scrambling from their seats to escape this dream turned reality. Kyou's eardrums almost burst under the weight of a heavy shoji slamming against the doorframe and derailing off its runners.

"Guten Abend!"

Brilliant red eyes popped open. Kyou stared at the ceiling, then at the door, then back up at the ceiling. Grinding his teeth, Kyou leaned back and tried not to think about the annoying bunny bouncing about the hall downstairs. It was amazing how insignificant Momiji's entrance became in light of how his acceptance was plodding along. He blinked three times before burying his nose into the crook of his elbow in disbelief. Had it really been that easy?

"I love her and she loves him."

A great crash of laughter erupted over his lips, the impacting boom resonating deep within his throat as he twisted to his side and shut his lids tight. Just as it been so easy to watch them dance together, it was just as easy to lie on the center of his floor and cry without the pretext of rain.

"Ha'ri!" Momiji's tea cup nearly shattered as he set it down, staring angrily at the doctor who had joined their little group at the table. "I'm supposed to be your apprentice, I watch everything you do!"

For a second, Hatori looked sheepish, setting his bag down with an all too purposeful air as he seated himself. But the boyishly becoming look faded when he took up the steaming pot to pour.

Shigure continued to sip at his tea without pause, opting instead to exchange a look over the rim of his cup with his cousin. Tucking a smile tight between his lips, the dog turned to the hostess who had a placating grin plastered over her face as Momiji began to pout.

"And just when I was thinking you were beginning to trust me,"

"Momiji." Hatori's tone was one of warning. "Learn how to keep silent and maybe you'll hear the secrets that are told,"

"But Ha'ri!"

"Please, Momiji," Tohru made a grab for the rabbit's hand, her voice cracking slightly. "It wasn't his fault. Actually, it was mine,"

"My little brother's and hers," Ayame was only too happy to fill in for the blushing girl. "Tell me Mo-michi-kun, do you know what happens when you stand out in the rain with the girl you love?"

The slightest of blushes was etched onto Momiji's cheeks as he turned big brown eyes to the onigiri. His mouth was drawn just as wide, "You and - "

"Ah, makes a big brother proud," Ayame sniffled, dabbing at the corners of his gold eyes with the tip of his sleeve. The sleeve was longer than he anticipated though, and Shigure leaned across the table to pull the length of it out of the biscuit tray. "Eh, Mo-michi-kun?"

"Ne, ne, Tohru!" but Momiji was dancing about Tohru, stopping to ask her questions at every turn. "How'd it happen? Have you always loved him? You were the ones out in the rain, weren't you? Does Kyou know?"

At the last question, the onigiri nearly choked on her tea. Upon recovery, she loosened that placating grin into a complacent smile. "He was the first to know,"

"Uh-uh," Shigure spoke up, drawing Hatori's attention. "I also knew, though you couldn't see me, I heard it,"

"You have absolutely no tact," the doctor sighed, watching his apprentice finish his circle and drop onto the ground, listening intently to Tohru's explanations. When she got to the most personal part, Hatori shot Ayame a warning glare.

The snake closed his mouth and repositioned his posing hand.

"WOW!" Momiji cooed rocking from side to side as Tohru bowed her head, having finished with her story she was quite embarrassed at the amount of attention it was getting from everyone at the table. "Das ist wunderbar! So where's Yuki now?"

"Upstairs," the blush on Tohru's cheeks darkened to a maroon hue as the dog and Ayame started to snigger. Her eyes now turned to catch Hatori's, "Could Yuki-kun have visitors?"

With a nod, Hatori smoothed the line of his mouth into what could be a simple smile. "He could, but first – Without me telling you what signs to read Momiji, could you see him first and write a detailed report?"

The bunny bounded off his seat and onto a pleading position on his knees. "Ne-ne, you mean it?"

Without answering the twenty-year old, who was acting his appearance of a giddy sixteen, the doctor gestured to Tohru. "Could you accompany him? AND make sure that he doesn't hurt himself or Yuki?"

"Of course!" Tohru almost saluted, but mentally caught her hand before she did anything potentially embarrassing. Picking up the tray she'd been slowly building with biscuits and tea, Tohru stood and took Momiji's hand. He in turn pulled down the bottom lid of his right eye and stuck his tongue out at the doctor.

"Ne, that's just mean Ha'ri!" complained Momiji as the two disappeared out the doorway and out of earshot.

Like a leery watchdog, Shigure followed their progress with raised ears. When he was sure they were completely gone, he sat back into the pillows piled behind him and surveyed Hatori appraisingly, "How's our little rat-prince?"

The doctor sighed wearily, "He'll live. He might not be able to properly walk on two feet for the next month or so, but I doubt he'll complain. As for his throat, if he speaks anymore tonight, it can safely be assumed that he won't have a voice tomorrow."

"His overall health?" Ayame spoke up through a mouth full of crunchy biscuits.

"It wasn't a major attack, nor was it a minor one either. The pain from his broken ankle kept him awake during the time when he would've lost consciousness." He swallowed and shot a pointed look at Ayame. "After leaping at your throat, that ankle of his was nearly twisted at a ninety degree angle. Good thing he couldn't feel it, or I would have let him kill you like he wanted."

"You wouldn't really do that, would you Tori-san?" gasped Ayame, looking affronted. "What did I do that was so wrong anyway? Ok, so perhaps I embarrassed Tohru-kun, but I did not do that intentionally! I was merely taking an active role in my brother's life, isn't that what I'm supposed to do?"

"Yes, but next time: knock first before you start glowing about Yuki's ascent into his own 'romance'. Don't sit there like some hentai peeping tom,"

Shigure leaned into Ayame, mirroring the snake's dramatic posing as they squealed, "Ha-san, I didn't know you knew the likes of that word!"

Hatori smirked and pressed the rim of his cup to his lips. "With you two as friends?"

Glancing at each other, Ayame and Shigure waggled their eyebrows suggestively before cracking grins and ruffling each other's hair.

"Now that's the way I like you 'Gure-san, - scruffy - "

"I prefer the word 'unkempt' Aya," Shigure corrected his cousin, stroking his locks back into place. He then drew back and eyed the snake warily. "Why? Does it remind you of languid mornings, blushing flesh?"

Ayame chuckled and Hatori pretended not to listen to their mindless prattle. "No, it tempts me to play with your hair . . . and play with some other things,"

"Play with what exactly?"

Hatori didn't even hear the gory details. Looking up to find the two idiots caressing one another's fine tresses, he shook his head and focused on the taste of the tea in his mouth. It was a flowery, aromatic blend. Lavender? Or maybe it was a composite of lavender and honey, with a scratch of cinnamon floating on top.

"YOSH!"

That was the signal to look up again and know that he wouldn't be dragged into one of their strange bouts of flirting.

"As I was telling you before that tangent, aside from the abrasions and lacerations on his legs and feet, Yuki is just fine. Truth be told, when he was six, I would've anticipated and seen much worse from him on just a daily visit."

The light atmosphere around the Mabudachi trio became sullied with an uneasy silence. Both Shigure and Hatori immediately threw their attention on Ayame, judging his response.

"That was cruel Tori-san," Ayame whispered icily. "I was a different person then,"

"Yes, you were. You've made great progress, but I'm afraid you fell back a few steps tonight."

Gold eyes flashed with hurt then closed altogether in defeat. "Why bring such nightmares to light now?"

"We all decided to protect them right?"

"Absolutely," Shigure answered for his cousin, smiling as he placed a comforting hand on the white-haired man's shoulder. "Even if it means bold-face lying to Akito."

Hatori swallowed and looked into his cousins' eyes. "I saw the scars on Yuki's back tonight. As I was watching him smile about the present, even with those visible reminders of his past, I suddenly realized that we will not only be protecting Tohru from the wrath of our Kami-sama, but Yuki from a very real fear. And that means someone has to understand his fear."

Ayame looked between Shigure and the man across the table and back, his eyes settling on the floor. "I suppose you mean me,"

"Both Shigure and I have been in close contact with Yuki from childhood to these formative years. You've tried to make up the time that was lost when you two were younger, but you've never asked him what it was like,"

"He won't even talk to me for two seconds, much less divulge a secret past that no one else has been privy to!" Ayame burst out, using the primitive advantage of height to intimidate his companions. "I've tried to understand, but he won't let me!"

"Have you ever asked Hatsuharu?"

"No, but Yuki can't stand him. Why would he kn - "

"Ayame, if you've been paying attention for the past four years, he and Haru have become good friends. And Haru was the only one who paid close attention to how Yuki acted during those," he coughed to cover the mental search for a fitting word, "transition years,"

The snake sunk back down, his voice becoming small along with his once imposing stature. His tone turned to defense, "I've tried to superimpose what little I remember into an assumed past history. With the help of my imagination, I have concocted what I think happened, and how I should act around him using that as my guideline."

"But that's just it, Aya, you've only – assumed – what his life was like, what – he – was like. You've never thought to validate any of your assumptions," Shigure added with some urgency. "Try a little harder,"

"I always knew it would be difficult to be a big brother. I had no idea how hard it was going to really be."

"It shouldn't be 'hard'. It can't be 'hard'. That's just life," Shigure consoled with a theatrical air, though every word he said was true.

"But," Ayame smiled suddenly and his friends drew back in surprise. "But, if I can get him to love me, to trust me as the big brother he should have had when he was growing up then maybe, there's hope."

Though his lips stopped moving, the words continued to wind their way through his mind.

'Maybe there's hope for Yuki, myself, and everyone else in this cursed family.'

Kyou stood outside the rat's sanctuary, debating how to enter. He wanted to storm in and set the prince straight, tell him what he – the rebuked rival – thought of the situation. He wanted to let that pompous idiot know that this cat would restrain himself from killing him every time he saw them together. Yet, at the same time, he wanted to prove to his cousin that he was mature enough to handle rejection, and even overcome it.

All he had to do was open the door.

But that took a kind of courage that even a wise twenty-one-year old man did not possess. History, pity, and green-eyed jealousy barred him from making such a bold entrance.

A vein pulsed over his left eyebrow and Kyou grew more and more irritated with himself. Succumbing to the impatient drumming of his fingertips on his hips, Kyou took one of those shaky hands and pried the door open. Without a word, he set his eyes on the resting young man and padded over to stand directly next to him.

"Oi," the cat grunted. But Yuki was a heavy sleeper, and an even heavier napper. It took several 'Oi's and a prod or two before an eye fluttered open. By that time, Kyou was kneeling on the floor and met the rat eye-to-eye as he sighed.

"Ba-ka Neko?" Yuki questioned sleepily, both eyes open by the time he recognized his cousin at the last word. He refused to move from the position he had taken on his side. "What are you doing here?"

Kyou shrugged. "You can't move, I had something important to tell you, so I decided to come to you,"

"That's an amazing piece of synthesizing logic," moving his hand behind his head, Yuki slowly propped himself on an elbow. "For you especially,"

The cat's eyes narrowed. "Don't try to call me out," he hissed in warning, cracking his knuckles to emphasize the point, "There's no reason to fight now. Oh stop looking at me like that, you won."

Surprise pushed the suspicion out of the hazy spotlight in Yuki's drowsy eyes. It was slowly followed by amusement. "What do you mean 'won'? You're no closer to becoming a member of the zodiac now than you were before-"

"You know damn well that I'm not talking about that nezumi," Kyou spat as he stood, taking a step back in a standard stance of defense. "What's been going on for the past two years, what's really been happening as we fight, that's what I'm talking about. We both wanted her, and now, you have her."

But Yuki was ready to block. His response was fired fast and provided no chance for interruption. At the word 'have', his face flared red and his tone lost all memory of being raspy or weak. "I don't 'have' her. I have her affections yes, but I do not possess her. No one can do that with Honda-san, or anyone else for that matter."

The cat felt the pace of his heart slow and exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath during the length of their conversation. He'd never considered the idea that under that façade of deep concern, the rat would be operating at such a shallow level. And now that he had heard Yuki admit his love for her, he never would.

A brief smile flicked over the rat's lips before his gaze settled over an indiscriminate little spot on the wall before he continued. "And I never wanted her, because I love her for who she is, never for what she gave or can give." The purple eyes looked up and over at Kyou pointedly. "Though I may seem like the victor to you baka neko, believe me, I was just as surprised as you were. She chose me, when I assumed she would choose you,"

Kyou's legs suddenly felt too weak to support his weight. Was he serious? Prince Yuki, the cunning rat, his eternal rival believed that he was going to lose? "Choose me?" both words smacked of disbelief. "But – I – "

Taking a deep breath, Yuki looked almost pained to say, "I thought she loved you,"

Kyou's tongue was tangled by two years of tangible tension over something that they could never face head-on. Now that the 'l' word had been said, every argument they had ever had flashed over his eyes with great malice. They had started at childhood with pure hatred first held by the cat, then shared with equal frustration by the rat. That was until she came into their lives. Hang the battle for a place in the zodiac . . . there was something greater to fight for. Acceptance, an open heart, and love. At first glance, the fight appeared to be so simple, but upon this rumination, it appeared complicated and ugly.

Finally finding his voice, Kyou coughed, "And I thought she lov – liked you . . . uh, hell only knows why,"

"Huh," Yuki stared at him for a second before hiding his eyes in the shadow of his bangs. "Regardless of how you put it so eloquently just now, it seems we have reached an understanding, eh baka n - "

Meanwhile, Kyou shook his head, trying to remember on what pretext he had entered the room. Something about telling his cousin off? No, that wasn't it, he felt himself better than that. His finger went up as if to say something other than a firm telling-off, but put it right back down. It definitely had to do with Tohru . . . the dream overwhelmed his senses and he once again padded the ground with his furry little paws. He was watching her whirl around the stage and wondered at how she, a woman he respected more than any other person in the world (next to Shishou of course) could have fallen in love with his rodent of a rival.

Then it hit him. Without any warning, he sat at the edge of the bed and pointed that once discarded finger in the rat's face. "Listen, I like Tohru ok? I like her and maybe even love her. And you love her. That I can handle, I could and can always fight with you without involving her, but knowing that she loves you back, well that's when I get – no, got angry. I wasn't just angry at you for taking her away from me, but I was also angry at her for choosing you over me, for telling me to my face that it was you she loved and has always loved. She knew it would hurt me, and yet she did it willingly just to run to you. For that reason alone, if you ever hurt her in any way, I swear," The finger called upon its gang and together they grasped at the collar of Yuki's shirt, hauling the young man off his mattress and into the right side of Kyou's chest. "to make you re-gre-t it," ending in a growl, the simple threat was made that more poignant. The narrowed eyes met the half-lidded cool gaze of his captive and sneered. "At least look scared!"

"On the contrary," sensing that he was done posing, Yuki lifted a hand and pried Kyou's fingers from his shirt. Straightening his collar, the prince leaned back into his former position. "I know you are very serious. I would feel the same way if the situation had been different." He folded his hands on his lap in a conclusion-drawing manner. "But it's not. The fact remains that we've just started, what I hope, to be a long-lasting relationship. Now how are you going to handle that?"

"That's what I was getting to before damn it!" Kyou snarled. "Then you interrupted me!"

"I believe you did that yourself, baka neko,"

"Will ya just shut up and let me say what I have to say?! This is exactly the problem. YOU are still the problem! Tohru has nothing to do with it anymore. And that means that if I love her, I respect her and everything she does, including making decisions. And if she CHOSE you, you're a decision I HAVE to respect!"

A/N: Man, this was a hard chapter to write for many reasons. First of all, I wanted to introduce Momiji, chastise Ayame for never asking Yuki what it was like to be, well, YUKI (ya know, Akito's human doll), and have Kyou reach a conclusion that I've known he would reach since chapter 2. Now that it's all said and done, I like it a lot and can appreciate all the hard work I've put into it (as well as thank my Yuki/Kyou beta-reader gatogirl1). That section was really REALLY difficult.

As always, constructive criticism is encouraged! I'd appreciate a REVIEW on how successful I was in tackling such a tough chapter, telling me I completely missed the mark, or did a bang-up job. Goodness, I need to stop reading so much Harry Potter.

But in the meantime, here's a Christmas gift to you all (the chapter) – and a stocking stuffer:

I've already begun working on chapter VIII! AND guess who won't have any voice? Yuki really should have listened to Hatori's advice . . .

Heh. I'm gonna have fun with the next one.

Wishing all of you lots of holiday cheer!

Starhopper