Despite Fate

By Starhopper

DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, wish I could, but wishes made flippantly and not on stars never come true. :sighs depressively:

Chapter 7:

"Deliverance"

Yuki blinked in surprise at the outburst. His companion was breathing as heavily as he had during their physical fights. Now he looked inadequate and pathetic to be utterly exhausted from a conversation.

And if that was the case, then the same could be said for Yuki. All he wanted to do now was sleep, and while dreaming, ponder over what his rival had just admitted to him. There was no way he could do that sitting there with Kyou next to him, staring at him as if he was the most detestable thing on the face of the earth. He needed to escape to a place where he could curl up and cry. It was over those same hills that he flew over the tragedy of his childhood and into the warmth of hope. How could it be possible that after all that they had gone through, the cat could still look upon his rival in love and see the rat of the nightmares of a young boy, a young boy who had no choice in the matter, but who was born into that role? How could he smugly sit there and feel that he knew the prince as the 'true' Yuki, a cunning and untrue character who only wished to trick and cause ill will?

Did he know how it felt to be hated by every other zodiac member? Though they didn't show it, he suspected, no - knew that his cousins and even his own brother blamed him for their acute conditions. It was the rat's fault after all, always the rat's fault . . . and for that he had to be punished with pain and poisoned words.

By Kami-sama himself.

Something began to pound furiously just behind his eyes, and the rat shook his head as Kyou continued. "I hate you more than ever, don't think that's gonna change just because you're with her," With a great lurch, the weight on the bed rose off the mattress and onto the cat's feet as Kyou began to pace. Yuki watched him, blinking slowly to lessen the pain starting to spread over the back of his head like a net. "But because I respect Tohru, I won't take my hatred out on her. She doesn't deserve it,"

"That's very kind of you," Yuki acquiesced softly, the headache beating in tune with the words for 'hate'. Could he comprehend the meaning behind 'hate' in that little cat-brain of his? Did he know how it felt to overhear that word paired with "him" and know it was such a driving hate that always had the potential to kill? "For her sake alone,"

"I'm not doing it for her, I'm doing it for me. If I don't, I'll lose the friendship of the most wonderful person I've met and will ever meet. It's the only way I can live with the fact that despite it all, she fell in love with you." The cat spat back defensively, jamming his fists in the front pockets of his khakis and rocking on his heels. "You better take good care of her, or else you'll have me to answer to,"

Yuki felt his eyes widen. Was that baka neko entrusting Honda-san to him?

Was he, the rat, actually worthy of something so precious?

Leaning forward, Yuki nodded slowly. "Thank you for trusting me enough to let her go,"

Kyou snorted, "I don't trust you with anything, most of all Tohru,"

Yuki looked away to hide the joyous smile. Like so many times before, that cat was lying. But this time, he was lying for Tohru's happiness. He could snort and sniff all he wanted, but the truth behind the posing and the arrogance was so clear, Yuki could almost see it radiating off him. He could even hear the words that the proud heart of the cat chose to keep silent,

"I wouldn't let her go to someone who wasn't trustworthy."

When he was sure the gaiety had subsided, Yuki looked back up to Kyou and swallowed. "I only wish for her happiness," he spoke with the deepest sincerity.

"That makes two of us. If she's happy with you, then I guess I can accept that . . . though I'll probably never understand it."

"That's a start," Yuki smiled and Kyou rolled his eyes. Watching Kyou work his jaw, but seeming to be unprepared for any other bouts of discussion, Yuki leaned back into the headboard and down to his pillow. He was amazed at how fast the headache had dissipated when his cousin alluded to a greater strength, a more mature strength that the cat possessed. To know that he was not to blame for Tohru's decision was one less fault that his fragile and straining soul would not have to bear. As soon as that weight was lifted, the smile and the words had flowed easily for they came from the heart. He wanted to thank Kyou again, but stopped as his eyes closed upon sinking into the downy softness of the pillow.

Kyou stared at his cousin as the rat drifted off into unceremonious sleep. Somewhat belatedly, he heard his knuckles crack against the top of the innocent night table. Still he glared at Yuki, sleeping so peaceably with that smug smile on his lips, strands of his silk-fine hair looking as if they were pulled over his eyes to hide the obvious exultation behind them. And Kyou just wanted to punch him in the mouth to wipe off that expression of content because he himself could never wear it.

"You have such an easy existence," the cat found himself hissing to the deaf ears of his rival. He suddenly pulled his fist to his chest and smirked, "Of course, when all is said and done, its all because of appearances, right?" Kyou shook his head, hoping to throw off the contemplative silence that had overwhelmed him so quick. And he was too slow to outrun the epiphany. Standing now, appearing the victor in every primal sense as he stood tall above his fellow fighter, inside he knew appearances meant jack-shit. Even as the vengeful spitting cat and its grotesque other form, he was still Kyou, still the little boy Shishou had raised and loved. If someone listened hard enough, they might be able to hear his thoughts crashing down upon his conviction like ocean waves. He was crumbling, while Yuki was no doubt pulling himself together under the guise of dreams. Kyou should appear the stronger, but facing the fact that he was not was slowly breaking him under the weight of the realization. Was Yuki the rat, or was Yuki the boy carrying the title of rat?

Sinking to his knees, Kyou clutched at his temples and shook his head. No, this wasn't right. Yuki was fated to be his enemy, it WAS the rat's fault, ALWAYS the rat's fault. It was because of Yuki that he was the cat, and fated to forever be an onlooker to the movement of the zodiac. There was no way that he could be another person under that sneaky rat cloak . . . there was no way that he could be innocent of the horrendous character Kyou so unjustly accused him of. That would make them too similar, and Kyou couldn't stand the thought of sharing ANYTHING with that – that kuso nezumi.

He glanced up to the bed and could faintly make out between the tears the pale hand of his cousin. No way that the cunning rat could be sick, or ill, or wounded, or beaten, or threatened, or tortured. The stories he had heard could not possibly be true, it was impossible for the rat to fall to such a mortal level of petty existence . . .

And yet, he had.

Kyou didn't know what was worse, finding that their entire hatred had been set up as a lie or that he had stumbled across it too late to believe it in his soul. But he knew he hated Yuki at that moment more than ever because it was through him that Kyou saw the light of truth.

And it blinded him. He was so stung as he swaggered to the door he almost ran into Tohru who was standing patiently outside for someone to let her in. He heard his name questioned with confusion and obvious surprise, made barely a nod in her direction, and continued to walk down the hall to his own room.

Wide eyes followed the cat's uncertain progress, before nimble fingers wound themselves through the belt loops of her pants and yanked her through the doorway. The tray nearly flew out of her grasp, but with the help of fancy footwork, she regained her balance and leaned to counter the weight of the biscuits and tea. By the time she looked up, Momiji had released her from his lead and was promptly darting around his patient.

Tohru opened her mouth to warn him no to wake him too abruptly . . . punches tended to fly in defense regardless of who was trying to rouse him. But as the sound grated in her voicebox, Momiji leaned over the bed and placing his mouth at the side of Yuki's head, screamed "GUTEN MORGEN GESCHLAFFENKOPF!" into the young man's ear.

Yuki bolted upright, his eyes wide and teeth grinding. "Is it morning already?" he seethed, his voice nearly gone.

"No, what Momiji-chan meant to say was - " Tohru closed her mouth as the bunny settled himself on the bed and stared intently at Yuki, who was still recovering from the little German voice ringing in his brain. It was not out of politeness to let her friend speak, but rather it was to hear and blush beet-red at the words coming out of that same friend's mouth.

"Ne, ne, is it true that you love Tohru-kun and kissed her? That must have been some kiss,"

"Momiji," the warning in the raspy voice was enough to make the bunny bounce back and off the bed, onto the floor. It was from there that he continued the rest of his examination without another word.

Tohru waited at the doorway until Yuki's eyes lost the look of promised death. She didn't need to wait for long for as soon as Momiji stepped out of range from potential flying fists, Yuki looked up towards the doorway and found Tohru awkwardly staring right back at him. She shifted nervously from foot to foot, barely hearing the tea slosh about in the little pot perched precariously upon the pink pot holder.

Yuki just continued to stare at her in wonder, a side of his mouth edging up into a relieved smile.

"You're looking better Yuki-kun," she smiled shyly back as he motioned for her to come closer. "How's your voice?"

"Barely existent," he rasped in turn, his mouth wide and ginning as she settled down on the edge of the bed after placing the tray on the cracked nightstand. His attention was drawn to the tray and his jaw dropped, his stomach growling loudly a moment later. Tohru's heart suddenly warmed a beat at the memory of the meal that seemed like decades past. He hadn't eaten anything then, he was sure to be hungry now. Just as expected, Yuki licked his lips, looked back into her eyes, and whispered, "What do you have there?"

Tohru picked up a cup and leaned to pour the tea. "It's some herbal remedy Shigure-san recommended. Drink, it will make you feel better,"

Yuki's eyebrows were raised at the mention of the dog, but faced with the concerned eyes of his beloved, he quietly accepted the cup she proffered. As he took a long sip, Tohru reached over and grabbed the plate of biscuits, turning slightly to offer Momiji one as he took a cautious pass to look at the bruise over Yuki's cheek where he had fallen.

"Danke," he chirped, eyeing the rat suspiciously before raising the biscuit to his mouth and taking a bite. She nodded in return and turned back to accept the cup Yuki pressed into her waiting hand.

"I do feel better, thank you Honda-san,"

"Oh! And before I forget, I overheard Hatori-san, something about you not talking for awhile,"

"Not even to thank you?" Yuki asked, looking suddenly hurt.

Blushing, Tohru shook her head, "No, not even for that,"

"Come to think of it, I wouldn't need words," she caught the seductive whisper and the blush deepened so much that it caught Momiji's eye.

"You're not catching a cold too, are you Tohru?" he suddenly made a face. "Ne, ne, that just won't do!" Whipping out a small notepad from his plaid pants, he gave Tohru a quick look, then turned to flipping the pages of the lined paper. When he stopped, he withdrew a pen from in hidden pocket in his vest and began to jot down some notes. "How do you feel now Tohru?"

"Leave her alone Momiji," Yuki rasped, choking on his last words with a cough.

A suddenly very serious bunny-boy looked up from his work and stared Yuki hard in the eyes. "Is that a command from the boyfriend?"

"Watch wh - "

"More tea Yuki-kun?" Tohru intervened and sighed with relief that she had as Yuki slowly let his guard down to accept the warm cup passed into his hands. The potential for an argument between the rabbit and the rat was passed by with a great revving of the engine as Tohru rode by victoriously. Of course, that puff of pride was transferred to a simple smile she wore as she turned her attention back to the man in the bed. "No talking, that's an order from Hatori-san. I want to be able to hear your voice when you're strong again, and listen to it as we walk through the grass, our feet all wet with morning dew." She leaned forward and kissed his nose for emphasis, dodging his sudden kiss as he moved his head to catch her lips. She blushed as he shot her another sweet pout.

"Drink your tea and maybe you won't get a hug," she taunted.

Gulping at her promise, Yuki downed the rest of the tea in a big gulp and handed the cup back to her, all the while studying her as she sat so near to him. She felt like she was some beautiful sculpture on display for only his eyes to see, one that demanded a second look to catch the way each shadow played over every arch, every curve. A shiver ran down the back of her spine at the light that glowed from his eyes, and she suddenly felt very distant from him, even sitting there on his bed with him in it. With a quick intake of breath, she reached for his hand and smiled with genuine relief that he was so fast to clasp it.

They sat staring at each other for several minutes before Yuki heard a cough. He turned to the side to see Momiji shifting from foot to foot, clearly uncomfortable in the thick miasma of young love. Pursing his lips to ask him what he wanted, Yuki was startled to find Tohru's hand over his mouth. Glancing at her face, he found it bright with a smile and inquiring eyes.

"What is it Momiji-kun?" She asked without the air of annoyance that Yuki was sure his own voice would have been laced with.

"I need to verify my results," he said in a very professional tone. "Would you mind answering some questions for me Yuki?"

Tohru slid her eyes back to Yuki's, and shook her head. Her head shot forward to face the blonde boy head-on. "Sorry, it'll have to wait. No speaking." The last words were directed at the rat.

With Tohru's hand still clapped tight over his mouth, Yuki verified Momiji's unspoken question with a defeated sigh. "Mhmmm . . ."

"Alright then," Momiji mulled aloud, switching tactics. "I'll just make a little survey sheet and you," he pointed to young man in the bed. "You, Yuki can just check off if I'm right or not. Alles klaar?"

"Huh?" It was Tohru's voice speaking on behalf of Yuki's lips, which she felt part against her palm.

The bunny sighed, "Ne, all right?"

Tohru exchanged a glance with Yuki-kun, then took her hand off his mouth. He pulled it down to the mattress with his other hand and shot a nod of agreement to his cousin. Tohru's eyes widened at the gesture, but then she quickly reminded herself that this was nothing to be embarrassed about. Nor were the kisses they had shared earlier . . . now that thought brought about the very deepest of blushes.

And now she was blushing again. The heat was almost unbearable and transferred from sensation to a ring in her ears, glowing hot and whistling their proverbial steam. Tohru shook her head, nearly burying it in Yuki's shoulder. He smiled, seemingly reliving each of their moments with thirst-quenching abandon. He could lick and lap at those sweet memories all day and never be satisfied.

Again, Momiji coughed to gain their attention, and finally settled to plop himself on the ground. Taking the sloppy survey sheet in his nimble fingers, he quickly folded the paper into an airplane and sent it flying in the direction of Yuki's ear . . . then promptly made a run for it, dodging a solemn Ayame in his escape.

A/N: Yeah, I know, a little short this time. Yeah, no – I'm not running out of ideas or inspiration. Yeah, give me some time and maybe a nice long flight across the Atlantic ocean to bang out more of the story (Scotland here I come! – leaving March 25th). Yeah, I know all you adoring fans of furuba will REVIEW.

You won't?

PLEASE!

I'll beg on my hands and knees only to justify how much this means to me. I need some back-up right now so I don't have yet another mental breakdown before the end of the month.

And no – I'm NOT kidding.

So please, let your voices be heard, may I hear you shout your comments and constructive criticism my way, and let all of us breathe a sigh of relief for the quarter is almost over . . .

Then you guys may attack me when I don't update for three months while I'm studying abroad.

runs away before the kitchen utensils and a cow start flying towards her

Peace and love,

Starhopper