Chapter 4

When we returned to the castle, it was already dinnertime, so we went straight to the Great Hall. Hermione confronted us at once, "Where have you been? I've been worried sick. You didn't show up for lunch!" We blinked in surprise at her outburst, and I answered, "We went for a walk. You knew that."

"ALL DAY!" People were starting to look in our direction now that she was shouting.

"Okay, a LONG walk. We got to talking and lost track of the time, that's all. What's the big deal?"

She glared at me a moment and then turned on Harry. "How could you? After all that's happened, didn't it occur to you that I'd be frantic?" I wasn't really sure why she was so upset by this, especially if she secretly liked Ron. I mean it wasn't like I had snuck off with a boy she liked. What was her problem? But Harry seemed to understand it more than I did. "Sorry, Hermione," he said quietly. "We really didn't notice the time. I should have known you'd be worried. I'll try to be more careful." That was enough to dispel her anger and she flung her arms around his neck. "I'm just glad you're safe," she exclaimed with relief. Then I realized what this was all about. As his friends, naturally they were concerned about what he had to do, what he had to face. His disappearance had scared them. When we sat down to eat, no one made further mention of the matter.

September stretched into October and before we knew it, Halloween was almost upon us, which turned out to be the first weekend trip to Hogsmeade. Despite the kiss we had shared that day at the lake, Harry and I weren't exactly dating or anything. I mean, we were much closer friends and all after that, but Harry seemed content to just leave it at that and I didn't push it. I'd only known the guy a few weeks, so I figured it might be a good idea to wait awhile longer before thinking about any kind of 'relationship'. Still, I guess my letters to Cassie must have been overladen with references to 'Harry' and she began teasing me about my 'boyfriend'. I made real sure no one got a look at those letters.

A few days before the Hogsmeade trip, a really weird thing happened. Draco Malfoy, who had rarely spoken to me since that first day in the Great Hall, stopped me in the hall when I was walking alone to the library. He had continued his ongoing 'battle' with my three friends, and the four of them could rarely be in the same room for long without someone saying something unpleasant. Since it wasn't my fight, I tried to remain aloof from the proceedings, thinking it best not to take sides. Maybe that had surprised him or something. Maybe he just assumed that if I was hanging around with his three enemies I would be swayed to their view of things. When I didn't give any indication that I had been, he noticed.

Anyway, he asked to speak to me and we stepped over out of the way of the few others who were walking in the corridor. When no one was nearby, he somewhat nervously said, "I...uh...wanted to ask you something." I looked at him curiously and waited, having no clue what was coming. He took that as a good sign and pressed on, "Well...would you go to Hogsmeade with me on Saturday?" He said it really fast and it took a moment to register what he had said. Draco Malfoy was asking me out? The dreaded, awful Slytherin, Draco Malfoy? I couldn't process this right away. The longer I paused, the more nervous he seemed to get, until finally his fidgeting shook me out of my stupor. I couldn't think of any reason to refuse him; I hadn't made any specific plans with my friends. And maybe some good could come of this. I looked into Draco's eyes and saw...fear? Of me? Of rejection? I sure didn't see the rude, obnoxious jerk he usually presented himself as. So I told him, "Sure. It sounds like fun." Apparently he had already determined my answer would be no and was starting to recover his callous attitude as a defense mechanism, because a swaggering, disinterested smirk had just appeared on his face when my words finally sunk in. He immediately deflated, "Yes?" "Yes," I repeated. Hesitantly he grinned and then it grew broader, "Great! I'll...uh, see you by the castle entrance Saturday then; 9:00 okay?" I nodded and he moved away, still smiling, somewhat with relief. So, Draco Malfoy wasn't nearly so self-assured as he tried to appear. I ruefully shook my head and continued on to the library.

Only when I got there and tried to research my Charms paper did it fully hit me what I had done. 'Uh oh,' I thought, 'this is gonna go over like a lead balloon with the others.' Coward that I am, I refrained from mentioning the matter until Friday, and only then did I tell them because the subject came up and I couldn't avoid it any longer. They were talking about all the places they could show me in Hogsmeade and I finally realized I had to get this over with. "Uh, guys..." I began. They looked at me expectantly, having no idea the bombshell I was about to drop. "Well, see, it's like this..." This was harder than I thought it would be, now that the time had come. "What?" prompted Hermione. "Well, uh, someone has invited me to visit Hogsmeade with him, and I kind of said yes."

Ron looked disbelieving, "You've got a date? And you didn't tell us?" Hermione squealed with delight, but I knew from the glance she threw at Harry that she thought it was him. I had always had the feeling after our daylong disappearance while 'talking' that she had suspected there was something going on between us. But Harry's face had frozen. He sure never expected to be hearing this. "So who is it?" Hermione asked. "Who are you going with?" Now came the really hard part - I was about to suck all the good feeling out of this room with two little words. "Draco Malfoy," I practically whispered.

Ron and Hermione's chins dropped and neither could get any words out, of shock or otherwise. But Harry looked like I had just punched him in the stomach with all my might. I would have done anything just then to take back what I had said and have it not be true - anything to not have him looking at me like that. What was the emotion I was seeing in his eyes? And then I knew - betrayal. He felt I had betrayed him. I wanted to explain, to make that look go away, but I knew there was nothing I could say to make it right. Even if I had said it was all just a joke and not true, I don't think he would have thought it funny. I offered the only explanation I could, "He asked me, nicely, and there was no reason to turn him down. He's never done anything bad to me." I knew it didn't help, so I just turned and went upstairs to bed. There was nothing more to be said.

I was still lying awake and heard Hermione come in about an hour later. She paused near my bed, and I thought she was going to try and talk to me, but after a few seconds she moved on to her own bed and got undressed.

When I got up the next morning, Hermione was already gone and the guys were not to be found in the common room, so I went down to breakfast alone. I saw them all sitting together and they glanced in my direction when I came in but quickly looked away. I took that to mean they'd prefer I not sit with them, and I sat alone near the end of the table. I could see the Slytherin table from where I was sitting. Draco looked at me briefly and then glanced at the other three, sitting apart from me, and his eyes narrowed. I guess he knew they had found out about the Hogsmeade trip. I wasn't very hungry, but I quickly swallowed a little toast and juice and then returned to the dorm to get my cloak and some money.

I wasn't anxious to come face-to-face with the others, so I hastily departed before they returned and went to lurk in the library until it was time to meet Draco. I spent the time trying to calm my nerves and force the unpleasantness of the night before out of my mind. It wasn't fair to Draco to let that overshadow our day. Criminey, I wasn't marrying the guy or anything; it was just a date. If we didn't get along, this would be the end of it. If we did, well...I'd worry about that if it happened. Somehow I just couldn't imagine becoming romantically involved with Draco. Granted, the guy is good-looking, and he makes it clear to everyone that he comes from a rich and powerful family. That doesn't really matter to me very much, but I see how impressed the Slytherin girls are by it. But...I don't know...I just can't imagine having 'feelings' for him. Friends, maybe, if he can act like a human being, but anything more... I just can't picture it. My time had run out and I headed for the entrance to meet him, preparing myself for the surprised looks from many other students and the dirty looks from my possibly former best friends.

Draco was already there when I arrived, slouched against a wall, trying to look cool. Even so, I thought I detected a flash of relief when he saw me approaching him. Maybe he thought I'd change my mind, or have it changed for me, and not show up. And his face still looked a little wary as I greeted him, like he was afraid I was still going to back out. To ease his discomfort, I smiled and said, "I'm all ready." I tried to say it cheerily and hopefully it sounded better to him than it did to me. Sounded a little too forced in my ears, but it was the best I could manage just then. I didn't see any sign of my 'friends' and finally decided they had gone on ahead in an effort to avoid me.

Walking to the front gate of Hogwarts was an awkward affair. Neither of us knew what to say to the other since, basically, I only knew bad stuff about him and he pretty much knew nothing about me. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer and asked, "So, tell me about Hogsmeade. What's it like?" My friends had already filled me in pretty thoroughly, but this seemed a safe enough subject to break the ice with and he latched gratefully onto it. He began a colorful description of all his favorite, and not so favorite, places to visit. And he told me about the Shrieking Shack which was nearby. By the time we reached the village, he had finished his discourse and we both seemed more relaxed. "So, what would you like to see first?" he asked.

We decided to just sort of wander the streets and visit shops as we came to them, if they looked interesting enough. One of the first places was the owl post office. I had never been in such a complete wizarding environment before and it was astonishing to see all those various kinds of owls waiting to deliver messages. He was interested in stopping in the Quidditch shop, so we did that for a bit and then continued on to the joke shop. He bought a few things, but I'm not much of a practical joker so I passed on that. Next up was Honeydukes and the widest assortment I had ever seen of sweets. He seemed to enjoy explaining to me the many ones I didn't recognize, and made me try a lemon sherbet ball, without warning me it would levitate me a few inches off the ground. He paid for that with a scratch on his cheek where my fingernail snagged him as I frantically grabbed onto him when I started to rise. It was funny, once I got used to it, but he really should have warned me.

We started down a fairly deserted lane on our way to see the Shrieking Shack, when just outside of town we came upon Ron, Hermione and Harry. My mouth went dry and I really wanted to be invisible right about then. Something seemed to come over Draco. Maybe he thought it would impress me since the Slytherin girls always ate it up; maybe he thought I had broken up with my friends when I agreed to go out with him and that I would want to hurt them, I don't know. But he started in on them. At first, they showed great restraint and I realized with surprise that they were actually trying to be civil to him, for my sake.

He took their passiveness as encouragement to go further and his verbal assault became nastier. "Draco, don't..." I said, reaching for his arm. But he was on a roll, and didn't seem to even remember I was there. I started to walk away but out of the corner of my eye I saw him slipping his wand from his cloak. Without hesitation, my wand was out and I said the first hex that came to mind, "Silencio!" Any curse he had intended to utter was now choked in his throat. Before he could register his loss of voice, I followed with, "Tentacula!" Strong rope cords sprang from my wand and bound him securely from head to foot, and he fell to the ground when he overbalanced on his strapped legs. I stared at him for a moment, laying there and looking shocked. I stepped close enough for him to hear and said in a low, angry voice, "I don't like bullies"; and then I turned and started walking back to Hogwarts.

My friends were gaping, first at Draco and then at me, utterly stunned by what they had just witnessed. A moment later Hermione had recovered and ran to catch up with me. The boys followed her lead.

For a few minutes, Hermione still seemed at a loss for words. Eventually, though, she asked what I'm sure the others were thinking, "Uh, Deandra...what happened back there?" None of them had ever seen me get angry before; I rarely do. But like I told her, "I don't like bullies." That answer apparently didn't satisfy her, "No, I mean..." She stopped, uncertain what her question really was, I think. But I could guess. I stopped and turned to face them, "You mean, why did I go out with him in the first place when all of you told me he was a creep?" She didn't answer but they got a look on their faces that told me that WAS their question, though the way I phrased it didn't make it sound so reasonable as they'd thought.

I was still angry; with Draco and with them. But regardless of what happened next, I thought it important for them to understand. "I went out with him because he ASKED me to, NICELY. And up until a few minutes ago, he's been fun to be with and I've had a good time. I'm sorry if that offends you, but it's true. I can't hold grudges against people simply because someone else doesn't get along with them. If I'm going to hate someone, it will be because they've given ME a reason to, not because they gave someone ELSE a reason to. Okay? Are you satisfied?" And I turned on my heel, striding furiously away.

I think I thought they'd just stay there, but they didn't. Before I knew it, they had caught up with me again and we were walking back to Hogwarts together. They didn't say anything, for which I was grateful. The energetic walking gradually worked off most of my anger, and seeing that I seemed to be relaxing a bit, Harry ventured, "Uh, do you suppose someone should go back and free him? Or at least remove the silencing charm so he can call for help?" I shook my head no, and then grinned wickedly, "The spell will wear off shortly before 5:00. It doesn't last." Ron commented, "But that will barely give him time to get back without being late." I shrugged, "He should have thought of that before he made me mad." And suddenly we were all laughing together; it felt good to have them back on my side.

We whiled away the remainder of our afternoon in the common room. I finished a letter to Cassie and started one to my parents. Hermione read, as usual, while Ron and Harry played several games of Exploding Snap. When it came time to go to dinner, I tried not to let it show how nervous I was about seeing Draco again. I didn't think he would hesitate to make a scene. As a precaution, before leaving the dorm, I put a Rebounding Spell on myself.

See, one of the things about me is that Cassie and I love to study up on 'old' magic. Over the course of time, some spells came and went. Not that the ones that 'went' weren't good, but they sort of fell out of vogue. There were other spells that accomplished pretty much the same thing, and people preferred to use them. Eventually, many of the old spells were forgotten, except perhaps by very old wizards and witches. Cass and I had become pretty adept at these old spells and the advantage to using them is that your opponent doesn't recognize the spell, so it's harder to counteract (or remove). The 'Tentacular' spell I had used on Draco was one of them. There are numerous Binding spells so that one is rarely ever used anymore. Even Hermione had me explain it to her because she had never heard of it. This Rebounding Spell I was using was one of my favorites. It always caught others off-guard. You could specify how long it would last, up to twelve hours (which was the default), so whenever you went somewhere that you suspected might prove dangerous, or might meet pranksters, you could apply this charm. Whoever tries to hex you better move quick or they get hit with their own hex. I've only seen one person manage to dodge it. I tended to keep these old spells as my little secret; it gave me an advantage against any opponent.

Steeling myself for the worst, I headed down to the common room with Hermione, where we joined the guys and moved on to the feast. The Great Hall was already filling up fast when we arrived.

I easily spotted Draco at the Slytherin table and the look of malice on his face made it clear he was furious with me. He was back with his two mindless slugs, Crabbe and Goyle.

Professor Dumbledore welcomed everyone to the feast and the food appeared in magnificent abundance. I was sitting across from Ron and Harry, at the end of the table and I happened to look at Ron when the food appeared. I have never seen anyone so enraptured at the thought of eating as he is. I smiled to myself, remembering how I had thought that first day that I might not end up liking him very much. Turned out I was dead wrong about that. He had his quirks, but he was really a decent guy when all was said and done. Well, other than the fact he was too chicken to tell Hermione he liked her.

Suddenly I became aware of a shadow over my plate and looked up to see Draco leaning menacingly toward me. Ron and Harry both had stiffened in case their help was needed, but wisely they thought it best to let me try handling it first.

Draco's words were clipped and mean, "I want to talk to you in private, NOW." I looked mildly at him and returned my attention to my plate, refusing to look at him. That apparently threw him off; whatever he had expected my reaction to be, this wasn't it. After a beat, he snarled, "Did you HEAR me!"

I looked up at him, directly into his eyes, and replied quietly, "I don't take orders from anyone, least of all you. If you want to speak with me, you'll have to ASK me, in a civil manner." And I turned back to my plate again, briefly noting that Ron was beginning to look real nervous and Harry's eyes had gotten very round. Next to me, Hermione began to choke slightly on a piece of food she had swallowed wrong.

Draco stood glaring at me for what seemed like an eternity, but finally snapped, "May I please speak with you in private?" His clipped tone would hardly qualify as civil, but since he had made an effort, I laid down my knife and fork and gestured for him to lead the way. He seemed almost startled. I guess he didn't believe I meant it.

The looks on Ron and Harry's faces told me they weren't at all sure I should go anywhere with Malfoy, especially not alone, but I put a reassuring hand on Harry's shoulder as I left, and they kept to their seats. Harry was going to trust me to know what I was doing even if he thought me crazy; that was nice to know.

Outside the Great Hall, Malfoy led me some distance away to an alcove off the foyer so we weren't likely to be overheard (or anyone hear me scream for help?). As soon as I joined him there, he rounded on me, "HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU HUMILIATE ME LIKE THAT!" My eyes narrowed but I said nothing. Without thinking, he grabbed my arm in anger, holding tightly enough I was pretty sure I'd have a bruise the next day. Then I said quietly and firmly, "Let go of me, Draco. You got what you deserved. They weren't bothering you and you not only bullied them but were going to hex them before they could even draw their wands in defense, and for no reason whatsoever. I don't tolerate bullies."

"Then why did you go out with me? " he spat angrily, dropping my arm.

"I wasn't going out with a 'bully'! I was going out with a guy who had seemed rather pleasant when he invited me to join him. In fact, I was enjoying his company until he felt the need to revert to stone-age behavior."

He blinked in surprise, "You had fun? Then why did you...?"

"I told you. I was enjoying you being you, but I wasn't enjoying you being a bully. Look, Draco, I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of your snotty behavior is all for show, and that there's actually a pretty decent person hidden in there somewhere. I'm willing to be friends with that decent person, if he really exists, but if you're content to be a smart-mouthed, nasty little creep, then you're better off hanging around with Crabbe and Goyle. They don't set any standards for their friendships. I won't tolerate a bully." I crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall while he thought about what I had said.

Groping for words, he finally asked in astonishment, "You're STILL willing to be friends with me?" Clearly he found this impossible to believe.

"Like I said, it depends on how you choose to define 'me'," I replied firmly. "If 'me' is the guy I spent most of the morning walking around Hogsmeade with, then, yes, I'm still willing to be friends with him. But if 'me' is the bully I had to hex into submission, then, no, I'm not interested."

"What about Potter, and the others?" he asked suspiciously.

"What about them? They don't choose my friends for me, as you've already seen."

"I kind of got the impression that maybe you and Potter were...more than friends," he challenged. "He isn't going to want his girlfriend running around with his mortal enemy, telling all his secrets."

I flushed red, and I'm pretty sure he could tell, even if we were in the shadows. "I'm not Harry's girlfriend," I murmured. "We're just good friends." I paused and then made clear, "And neither of you is going to be told anything the other may have told me in confidence. I won't help either of you fight each other. Your argument is between the two of you – leave me out of it."

He stared at me for quite awhile and then observed, "You fancy him, though, don't you? If he asked you to be his girl, you'd say yes, wouldn't you?"

I flushed red again and struggled to find an answer. I wanted to say it wasn't so but, in that instant, I realized just how very true his words were. And he saw it in my face, the self-realization. "You really think you can pull this off? Be friends with me and date Potter?" he asked in astonishment. "Even if I agree, he's never going to go for it!"

"So, does that mean you DO want to be friends with me," I countered. After a pause, he nodded, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Then let's give it a go. And you let me worry about Harry, though it would make things easier if you could at least try to be civil. And if you can't do that, try to avoid him altogether."

That made him smile; a real smile. The kind he didn't often show in school. I turned to go back to the feast but he caught me by the arm again, this time without hurting me. When I looked back at him, he asked again, "Why?"

I shrugged and then answered as best I could, "Because when I look in your eyes, I think I see someone who would desperately like to have a real friend. Not just a Crabbe-and-Goyle sycophant." He released my arm and slowly nodded. I reached out and squeezed his arm before moving away, back to the Great Hall.

I think Harry, Ron and even Hermione must have been watching the doorway ever since I left. They were certainly all staring at it when I came back and sat down. I reached for some more pudding, but I could tell they were all waiting expectantly to find out what had transpired. Hermione finally couldn't stand it any longer and blurted out, "Well, what happened?"

I swallowed my bite and glanced at each of them before saying simply, "We settled our differences. I think we can be friends now." This certainly was not what they were anticipating. "Friends?" asked Ron in astonishment. "With Malfoy?"

I nodded and then said emphatically, mostly for Harry's sake though I couldn't bring myself to look directly at him, "Yes, Ron, friends. With Malfoy. Only friends. And I made it clear to him I would do no spying for him or for any of you. Your quarrel with him is between you."

I could feel Harry's gaze on me and I didn't dare look up, but finally it became too awkward not to and I met his eyes. He still didn't like this, that I could tell, but I just couldn't discuss it with him here, in a public forum. I'd have to wait for an opportunity later when I could speak to him privately. He turned his attention away from me, and I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes, and perhaps he was still harboring a sense of betrayal.

Maybe Draco was right. Maybe I was out of my mind thinking I could walk on both sides of this line. I really don't want to mess up my friendship with Harry, but for some reason I just feel compelled to do this, to make this effort. Maybe it went back to what the Sorting Hat had said about unity and interaction between houses. I never thought of myself as a peacemaker before, but someone's got to take the first step, right?

Walking back to the dorm with my three friends, I felt very much alone.