Chapter 12: Red Eyes, Angry Voices, Mused Hair
Looking into his cup of coffee, Mamoru once again wondered if this was
the best idea. Yes, he wanted answers. And his appartment was his
home turf. Should May be an enemy, he would have the advantage here.
Pluto's warning about strangers still rang in his head, but then
Pluto wasn't providing answers. When it camme down to it, he just
had to know.
At the engagement party May had given him the first hope in years of having some...
connection, some tie to the family he couldn't remember. That was enough to cause
him to take some risks...and to really start to think about his life. His head had been
spinning as he tried to make sense of everything that May had said two nights before.
Add to that the dream he had last night. Although it still felt like a memory, this dream
was clearer than the others. In his dream, he was Endymion once again, out in the royal
practice fields, throwing javelen rather angrily.
"Why did she do it?" he shouted as he hurled another javelan, not looking at where it landed.
At that point he really didn't care.
"Whoa! Watch where you hurl those things. I like my hair this length," said a female
voice tinged with laughter. As she came up to him, she held up her hands in front of
her. "I am unarmed. I come in peace."
"Lady Maxine!" Mamoru heard himself say, "I'm so sorry."
"That's okay," the female said. Mamoru could see her now. She wore an elaborate court
dress of yellow and black. She was what American tourists would probably call "African-
American". She had her long hair arranged in a braided style with a long
strand of pink hair woven through the creation. She had come to a stop next to him and
had put her hands on her hips. "Taking out some aggression, I see."
Obviously Endymion made some kind of face, because the female took her hands from her hips
and cross them in front of him and shot him a look.
"Don't be like that," she admonished. "I know." She laughed at what must have been his
surprised expression, "Everyone who has been near the castle today knows. It is not like
either of you were quiet when you had your 'disagreement'." She paused, then she put her
hand on his shoulder, "Your mother meant well, Endymion. You must believe that."
"What I believe is that she lied to me." he said as he shrugged off her hand and picked up
another javelan. He turned back to the woman he called Maxine, "They sent you out to plead
her case?" His voice sounded surprised, almost as if he was questioning the judgement of
this "they".
"Yeah, well," the lady shrugged her shoulders. "Tremaine is siding with your mother; Arlington,
with you. They are currently in the middle of a rather loud 'disagreement' of their own.
Lady Keiko has the awesome task of playing referee." She laughed, and then sobered. "Your father
is in the eastern providence...because of the cave-in. Your mother wanted to go with him,
but he saw how upset she was over this, so he insisted she stay here. Lady Daniella is with her
now, probably pleading your case. That left me." Brown eyes looked serious as they stared
at him, "Your mother did what she thought was best."
"Best?!" Endymion counted, "Deliberate deceit was best?! Come now, Lady Maxine, I don't
buy that. Mother doesn't either; honesty is too important to her. She knew what she
was doing."
The woman in front of him appeared to become frustrated, "Goodness, every last one of
you is too stubborn by half! Yes, she knew what she was doing; is that what you what
to hear? She knew the contests were dangerous. She knew that Kilgore and Saltmire would
cheat...and that you wouldn't. She knew that many a man came back dead from such
activities. And she 'knew' that you wouldn't listen to her if she tried to tell you
all of this." The woman stopped and took a deep breath, as if she was trying to
calm down. After a second she continued, "Did you need to be at those meetings? No.
Was is a bad idea for you to be there? Probably not. You ARE going to have to lead
those things yourself one day." The lady shrugged, "It could have been worse."
Still feeling angry...and now a little guilty, the heir apparent countered, "I don't
see how." He reached down to pick up another javelan.
The woman practically shreaked in frustration. "That's it. I give up. If you
want to play spoiled brat out here with your sharp toys, don't let me stop you."
She began to walk off, turning back only once to impart this closing thought, "When
you grow up, you may want to talk to your mother. Her heart is breaking over your
treatment of her lately. I think that is enough of a punishment for whatever
deception she practiced, don't you?"
In the light of day the dream still made no sense to Mamoru. It seemed more like
a memory. It was also like the other dreams he'd had in that some of the same names
appeared, including Daniella. While he had figured out who Daniella was at least,
the other names still puzzled him. "Tremaine, Arlington...Keiko, Maxine," he whispered
to himself quietly, "Who are these people? And what happened to them?"
The young man groaned in frustration and took another sip of the now lukewarm coffee in
front of him. He pushed it to the side and ran his fingers through his hair in
frustration. 'What does this dream mean?' He asked himself. 'And why did I have it
last night of all nights? I don't understand any of this!' He sighed...and turned
his mind back to his dream as he waited for May...and, possibly, a concrete tie to
a past he could no longer remember.
*****
She knocked on the door nervously. She came alone, just because she thought it was best. He
had the right to refuse. To force Terry and Yusuke on him before he had made up his mind
wasn't ethical, and it wasn't fair. Both of his brothers had been given a choice; they
both had the chance to turn the opportunity down without having to stare their sibling in
the face. After all she had already put him through, Mamoru Chiba, the former Prince
Endymion, heir to the throne of Earth, deserved that much.
He opened the door and showed her in. As she made her way over to the couch in front
of the coffee table, she took a deep breath, still clutching the covered framed picture
that she brought with her. She promised him a picture; again, she owed him that much.
She just hoped he'd listen to her.
"Thanks you for seeing me, Mamoru," May said softly as she reached the table.
"No, thank you for seeing me." Mamoru said as he sat at the other end of the couch.
He noticed the covered frame in her hand. Realizing what it must be, he got a little
nervous, "I see you found a picture."
May sighed. Looking down at the frame that she clutched, she found herself answering
honestly. "Yes, I found a picture of some of your family. But it is not the picture I
promised; there is no way for me to produce that."
Mamoru stared at her oddly, "What do you mean?"
May blinked the tears from her eyes. "I don't know how to explain this. I-"
She stopped suddenly. She closed her eyes and mubbled very quietly,
"It shouldn't be this hard. He knows about his past. This won't be like the
hard sells I've had to make twice already." She opened her eyes and looked up
at the ceiling to ask God, "Are you sure that I was the right person for this job?"
"May?" Mamoru asked, "Are you okay?"
May shook her head and seemed to come back to the conversation at hand. Blushing
at having been caught musing and praying aloud, she quickly reoriented herself. "Here," she
said as she handed the covered frame toward him. "Hopefully, you'll still want
to talk to me after you see this picture."
Mamoru unwrapped the frame and looked at the picture inside it. There was a surprised
silence from that end of the couch. May understood why. Instead of seeing a modern
picture of a woman, a man, and a little boy or baby he saw a picture of three young
men in a type of armor, tights, and capes, each wearing swords. It also looked more
like a portrait. 'In fact, it used to hang in the Great Hall,' May thought. Then she
realized that the thought she just had made no sense. Before she could think much about
her discovery, however, she was interrupted with by a voice simulataneously angry and
wary.
"Who are you? What do you want with me?"
May looked Mamoru in the eye. It was time to come clean. "I am who I said I am...for the
most part. My name is May Lavon Hammond. I was born in Virginia, a state in the United
States of America. I - well, more about my life really isn't important. What is
important is why I'm here. Over two weeks ago I was give an assignment, an opportunity
to reunite a family, the former royal family of Earth. The family in that picture," May said
as she gestered to the frame. "A family that was separated a long time ago." May laughed, but
there was no joy in it, "Actually, you are the most likely to believe me in that you know
about that era of unrecorded history...some called it the Silver Millenium, although I
would never refer to it that way." She looked back into Mamoru's eyes, "I'm bringing
the royal family back together. That's it."
Mamoru's eyes narrowed in suspision, "And destroying anything or anyone left from the
Silver Millenium as well."
May shook her head. "As fair as that would probably be, no, I have no plans or intentions
of doing anything to the survivors of that reign of tyrrany. All I'm here to do is to
bring together the family...and put someone on notice."
That hadn't lowered Mamoru's defenses at all, "Did you think Pluto wouldn't know you were
here, or warn us about us?"
"Pluto," May repeated. "So the rogue timewalker has a name. As for her knowing I was here,
I figured she'd find out eventually. As I haven't been attacked personally, my guess is
that she doesn't quite realize where the threat to her fiction is coming from, but I knew
that she would know. And of course she would warn you. She worked too hard not too."
Mamoru looked at the woman across from him. She sounded like an emeny...yet she didn't
feel like one. And her comments about Pluto were...strange. Deciding that knowledge
was power, he asked, "Her fiction?"
May nodded, "Yes, her fiction. This Pluto created this world...in a sense. She arranged
everything in it to the best interest of the princess of moon. She altered perceptions
of the Silver Millenium to make it seem a great civilization of peace. She scattered the
royal family of Earth and those they loved across dimensions, time, and space. And she
purposefully altered and erased your memories, of this life and your last."
Considering the turns his life had taken in the past few years, Mamoru didn't think
anything could shock him anymore. He was wrong. "What?!"
May sighed, "You've been having strange dreams lately, right?" Mamoru warily nodded.
"Well, they aren't dreams in the conventional sense; they are repressed memories.
The Silver Millenium didn't happen the way you 'remember' it. As you know,
you were Prince Endymion of Earth during that time. What you don't know is that you
were the oldest of three; you had two younger brothers, Tremaine and Arlington...and loving
parents. You were also engaged-"
"To princess Serenity-"
"Eventually," May conceded, "But that was more to protect Earth from the wrath of Queen
Serenity. Before the empress decided she wanted Earth added to her collection of planets
to dominate, you were engaged to Lady Daniella, a high ranking duchess of Earth. Your
brothers had also found loves of their own in Lady Maxine and Lady Keiko...but no one
really got their happy endings."
'Daniella, Tremaine, Arlington, Maxine, and Keiko...that would explain who all of those
people were,' Mamoru acknowledged to himself. Aloud, however, he felt he needed to
question what was going on as well. May's explanation could be the truth...but it
was also a little too convenient. In a very sceptical and slightly angry voice, Mamoru
interrupted with, "Is this another plot of some jealous evil queen? Is whoever you work
for upset because Serenity and I found each other again?! If you think you can break us up-"
"Now wait a minute!" May's voice rose, "Setting aside the fact that I told you the
truth about why I'm here, which is solely to reunite the royal family, there never was
any Endymion and Serenity; at least not any based on love. Duty and fear, sure, but
not love! That's part of the fiction your 'Pluto' worked so hard to create! I am not
the emeny," May tried to finish in a calmer voice, "I'm trying to right wrongs-"
"How would you know they were wrongs?!"
"Part of me was alive back then!" May finally screamed out. "Part of me was someone
close to the royal family back then," she elaborated quietly, "and although I don't
remember much, I do know that you have been manipulated and fed a fiction."
"Why should I believe you?" Mamoru whispered harshly back at May as he threw her a look
of total mistrust...while internally he admitted that some of what she was saying made
sense.
"Because I'm no Serenity. I'm not a tyrant. This is not about power or handing you to
my spoiled daughter like a gift. I'm telling you the truth!" May leaned forward as
she made her next point, "And, on some level you believe me, or you would have kicked
me out or attacked me much earlier in this conversation."
That angered Mamoru...in part because he was concerned by the truth in that. He had doubts
...at least doubts of Pluto. But, instead of working through that, he responded in righteous
indigation, "The fact that I haven't acted yet means nothing. Why should I believe you? You
lied to get to me. The people in this picture with me are obviously in liege with you
as they were with you at the engagement party. How do I know that you aren't some kind of
mastermind..."
That observation floored May; she was very surprised that Mamoru had recognized Terry and
Yusuke in their past forms. She had as well...but she knew it wasn't easy to do. Neither
boy in that picture had as much of the weight of the world on them in that picture as they
carried around now. But, as she opened her mouth in surprise, the angry young man in front
of her continued.
"You manipulated my feelings. And then you act like you were justified in doing all of
that! If you are telling the truth, you are behaving no better than you accuse Queen Serenity
of behaving. Did you figure it was okay to manipulate me because you claim that someone
else already has?!-"
Hearing what she had wrestled with all day yesterday thrown back in her face hit May hard.
All of her fear about the path she took came back to haunt her. 'I did the wrong thing,' she
thought to herself. 'I cut corners and now I've done more damage, hurt more people...Why
did I think I could do this?! I'm not qualified. I'm still way too human. I-' "I can't do
this!" she finally burst out. "There is no way. I just can't fight this!" she finished
in a whisper. She'd lost. Once lapse in ethics and she'd wounded a man, manipulated him as he
claimed...when all she wanted to do was to give him back one of the families that had been
torn from him. 'I shouldn't have accepted. Lord, I wasn't the right one to do this! I
brought your child more suffering.' She couldn't fight this time walker...or the effects
of the lie she herself purposely told.
Guilt and failure are powerful feelings...and they were crushing May. She felt ready to
crumble. All she wanted to do was cry. She expected to burst into sobs and her normal messy
crying...but that isn't what happened. Instead, she seemed to sag, and she heard herself
say in a strange voice, "Crowns aren't heavy until you do something to dishonor them."
*****
"Crowns aren't heavy until you do something to dishonor them."
That phrase rang in Mamoru's head. It was enough to make him stop...and that slight pause
was all that his memory needed.
"If there is one thing I want to be sure to teach you about the responsbility of ruling,"
the female voice said in Mamoru's memory, "it is this: Crowns aren't heavy...until you
do something ot dishonor them. Rule fairly, with mercy. Walk upright and pray. Show
yourself responsible enough to have the weight of the world set with diamonds upon your
head."
"Mother," Mamoru heard himself reply in the memory, "are you telling me that I shouldn't have-"
"All I'm saying," the voice interrupted, "is that ruling isn't easy. Tough decisions
like this will be normal. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions...just don't
take actions that would make you ashamed to wear your crown in the brightness of day."
The voice faded, but it was enough to make Mamoru pause and look again at May...who looked
assaulted and ashamed. And yet...they was something familar about her eyes...and the
statement she had just said. "Who are you?" he asked again, but softer this time, more puzzled.
At May confused look, he clarified, "I mean, assuming I believe you, back then,
who were you? Because-" He stopped as if unsure how to verbalize what he was thinking.
At this May sighed, "I don't know. I was only told that I...well, that part of me lived
back then and that I knew your family well. I don't know anything else really. I remember
...being around you and your brothers then. I remember pieces of conversations that make
no sense." She looked down at the table again, "I'm sorry."
"You knew my family - my Silver Millenium family," Mamoru clarified. At May's nod, he
took a deep breath. True, maybe at this point he should make her leave. She had
admitted that she lied to him and that she was...in some ways, working against the
people he had allied himself with. But that need to know pushed him to ask, "Then you
knew my parents, the king and queen. What-" Mamoru's voice caught as he realize what
he might finally find out. After clearing his throat, he tried agian, "What were
they like?"
At first May was about to answer that she didn't know, but suddenly, the answer came to
her...although the response seemed to be odd. Not seeing any other option, she
began to say what popped in her head, remembering that she was in the situation because
she had tried to do things her way, in a way that "made sense". "The king, well he was a
great ruler. I guess it would be a little cliche to call someone the 'king of hearts',
but he was. His people adored him, and he in turn adored them. He was very smart, with
a great head for politics and science. He wasn't as great with his emotions; he felt
strongly, but he couldn't always...verbalize his feelings. I think that worried him,
but his queen could see his heart. She tended to understand him...and worked rather
hard to make him laugh and smile so that he wouldn't be all seriousness.
"The queen...had a huge heart and was a loyal and spiritual person. Her problem was her
tendency to reach for revenge or bitterness when her own were attacked. Actually, she was
a lot like Terry and Yusuke are now. She wasn't quite the hothead...although she did have a
sarcastic streak, but she definitely wasn't the calm one. Ironically, all of her mistakes
seemed to teach her something...which she passed on. I...I can't seem to remember more
than that. I can't - I don't even remember what they looked like."
Mamoru looked down at the picture in his hands...and thought. The way May got her opening
to talk to him was very unethical. He was still a little angry with her about that. Then
he thought to his dream. 'If the dream was a memory...and May is telling the truth...maybe
she thought that lying was the only way to get me to listen.' Mamoru closed his eyes.
None of this made any sense to him, but now he was beginning to believe that good and evil
in this case was not as black and white as everyone else saw it. May believed what she had said
here...and he believed that parts of her story were possible. But he needed time to think.
"Mamoru?" May asked quietly, "I know I'm...a little hard to trust at this point, but don't
hold that against your brothers. They are here; you met them briefly at the party. They want
to really meet you, to talk to you and with you about your shared past. At least, Terry does,"
May added in a effort to be totally truthful. Why Yusuke hadn't demanded to be sent back home,
May didn't understand; what she did know is that family was very important to Terry, and he
wanted to get to know these young men who were members of his family long ago. "I can take you
to them if you want. No kidnapping, I promise. It is your decision." May offered.
Mamoru looked up at the end of May's quiet monologue, "You lied to me, to get me here. Then
you turn my world upside-down. I don't think you are lying now-"
"I'm not."
"-not about this," Mamoru continued as if May hadn't spoken. "That doesn't mean that I don't
think you're wrong or that something is wrong..." He ran a hand through his hair, "I need to
think about this." He paused, and then added, "Before I meet anyone or go anywhere I need
to think about it...and I need to have your promise for honesty from now on."
Grateful that she hadn't ruined everything, May assured Mamoru, "You have it. No more
deliberate deceit, I promise. And I understand your need to think about it. I'm still
trying to figure everything out." May tried to smile reassuringly, but some of her
anger over how well the rouge timewalker had manipulated the situation to her advantage
came out in next statement she made, "The only thing I'm sure of is that the Moon Kingdom was
nothing more than a tyrrany."
Mamoru winced at the statement, said with such conviction, that was contray to everything
he knew and had known for the last few years of his life. "I can't believe that," he
admitted fiercly. "I admit that I don't have much of a memory of the Silver Millenium,
and that Pluto hasn't told us much about it, but I refuse to believe that-"
Even though she knew that her recent actions did not make her a reliable source in his
eyes, his continued reliance on the princess's court for information irked her. "Your
'Pluto', the empress's timewalker, changed and surpressed your memories. Separated you
from your family, friends - on purpose!" May pointed out. "How can you not believe that
is evil? That such an action must spring from a former tyrrany?"
"I can't believe that Princess Serenity-"
"Serenity!" Something about that name made part of May very angry. Before she could really think
about what she was about to say, she heard her voice saying, "if she's anything like her mother,
she a selfish despot waiting to happen,"
"No! She has a pure heart; she's isn't the emeny!" That was one of the few things that Mamoru
was sure of, and his voice held that convinction
"Then I am?" May asked in a wounded voice as she attempted to follow his logic. "All I wanted
to do was to bring a family back together! How is that-"
Mamoru held up a hand to silence her. "I need to sort this out on my own."
May looked down at her hands and then back up at the young man in front of her, "So, your
answer is no, then?" she asked quietly.
Mamoru shook his head, "My answer is not now." With that he rose, and, understanding the hint,
May allowed him to show her to the door.
*****
'I still can't believe I'm doing this,' Reika thought to herself as she stood at the
appartment door. That she was standing outside of Mamoru's door was still shocking,
especially considering he was her probably ex-fiance's best friend. She had gotten there on
auto-pilot, still reeling from the day before.
Still shaken from the conversation with May and company, Reika had gotten home to
see the light on her answering machine blinking and the phone ringing. Knowing that
she couldn't deal with any phone calls, especially if they were from Motoki, she
cut off the ringer on her phone and turned down the volume on her answering machine.
Then she sat in her darkened bedroom and tried to figure out what she now knew...
and how her life had changed in the last hour. After lots of confusion and more
tears, she fell asleep...
...to dream of herself as a sobbing Lady Daniella, surrounded by visibly saddened
members of the royal family, crying in the arms of the queen, who told her that
she wasn't alone in that unfair universe.
Awaking to late morning sunshine and a tear-stained pillowcase, Reika renewed her
resolve to talk to Mamoru.
She knocked on the door. After a few moments, it opened. Mamoru stared at her in
surprise. "Reika?"
As she looked at him, she saw the man she had known as Motoki's best friend. Yet, in
his eyes, she saw Daniella's Endy; that was enough to cause her to tear up again.
"May I come in? I have to talk to you."
As Mamoru tell her in, Reika kept thinking over and over again, 'What am I going to
say?' Finally, after he had closed the door and come back into the living room where
she was still standing, he asked, "What's wrong? Did something happen between you
and Motoki?"
Reika stared at him with wide eyes, "I think I'm going crazy," she finally said
after a few beat of silence. Then it all came pouring out.
"I mean, who breaks an engagment over weird dreams?!" Reika asked as she paced
back and forth in front of the couch, "Okay, yes I had doubts before
then, but having dreams of another time, another wedding, and you. And feeling
like I was supposed to be marrying someone else. And dream after dream that made
no sense until I recognized you and May in them," not noticing Mamoru's startled
reaction to this piece of information, she continued, "And then being asked to
elope while trying to make sense of the dreams. Then to mention the dreams to
someone and hear about past lives and-" Reika broke off suddenly and then looked
at Mamoru, "Please just tell me that these are just bridal nerves and you'll help
me get my life back on track,"
At that moment, Mamoru could have said many things, but in trying to make sense
of the whole new load of information he asked a question instead, "Daniella?"
"Oh crap," Reika whispered as she sank to the floor, "Crap. It really is all
true." She looked up at Mamoru, "You were a prince in this past life and I was
supposed to marry you. We were in love and I was supposed to-" tears ran down
her face. She probably would have made another observation if the phone hadn't
start to ring at that moment. She gave Mamoru a panicked look, begging him not
to pick up the phone. He didn't...but that meant they heard the caller on the
other end when the answering machine picked up.
"Mamoru, it's Motoki," said a voice that sounded nothing like his usually
cheerful friend. "If you are there, please pick up." A noise, possibly
an indrawn breath or a strangled sob was heard over the line. "I need
to talk to someone. I think Reika just broke up with me. I don't understand
what happened or why it happened. We were so happy-" His voice broke off
again and after a pause, he finished, "Please. I really need to talk to
someone. She won't return my calls. I don't know what to do. Just...
call." And then there was a click, signifying the end of the call.
There were a few moments of silence as the last sentence, then from the
floor Reika said, "God, what in the hell do I do now?" She looked up
at Mamoru, total confusion evident on her face, "Was I living some
kind of lie? Do I continue to live it? Or am I supposed to marry you?"
"Reika," Mamoru felt impelled to qualify, "whoever we were back then, I love
Usagi now. That's not going to change."
From the floor Reika sighed, "I know that. I thought I loved Motoki too, but..."
Reika took a deep breath and pulled herself off the floor. Turning her
back to Mamoru as she wiped away the tears still running down her face she said,
"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have unloaded everything on you. I'm sure
you have enough on your mind without me crying on your doorstep-"
Mamoru was only able to identify what happened next because it had happened
a few times before. The present him lost control and the part of him that
was Endymion took over, "Daniella, don't do this. Don't be strong for me."
"Endy?" Reika asked in a voice that wasn't hers, "Is fate against us? Will
we never be able to be together? I-"
With that, the reincarnated prince opened his arms, and the reincarnated duchess
went into them to sob out her continuing pain. Her voice was slightly muffled
by his shirt, but she could still be understood. "I do not think that I can do
this again. Even with your mother here as well, offering her comfort, I don't think-"
The words "your mother" snapped Mamoru back to the present, "My mother? My Silver
Millenium mother? She's here?"
Reika drew away from him puzzled, "You didn't recognize her either? I know she's
younger, but she hasn't changed...not much anyway. Why is it that none of you
know who she is? Don't you remember her?"
Mamoru sank down onto his couch, "No," he admitted quietly. "I don't remember
much of anything from the Silver Millenium. What I do 'remember'...well, I think
that some of it didn't happen. I don't remember my family at all. If it wasn't
for my dreams of late...I wouldn't remember you."
Reika sat on the couch next to him, saddness reflected in her eyes, as if she
understood some of his pain. She reached out to touch his shoulder. Their
eyes met. And as they watched old and new pain battle for dominance in the
other persons eyes, they slowly drifted into a hug. One sobbed out her confusion
while the other held on tight as tears of loss and helplessness slowly ran down
his face.
- to be continued -
This is the best angst I've ever written! And poor Reika. Poor Mamoru. Poor
Motoki. And just wait until Usagi finds out about this (as soon as I figure out
how she finds out about this).
What did you think of this chapter? Let me know. Thanks for reading.
~December
Looking into his cup of coffee, Mamoru once again wondered if this was
the best idea. Yes, he wanted answers. And his appartment was his
home turf. Should May be an enemy, he would have the advantage here.
Pluto's warning about strangers still rang in his head, but then
Pluto wasn't providing answers. When it camme down to it, he just
had to know.
At the engagement party May had given him the first hope in years of having some...
connection, some tie to the family he couldn't remember. That was enough to cause
him to take some risks...and to really start to think about his life. His head had been
spinning as he tried to make sense of everything that May had said two nights before.
Add to that the dream he had last night. Although it still felt like a memory, this dream
was clearer than the others. In his dream, he was Endymion once again, out in the royal
practice fields, throwing javelen rather angrily.
"Why did she do it?" he shouted as he hurled another javelan, not looking at where it landed.
At that point he really didn't care.
"Whoa! Watch where you hurl those things. I like my hair this length," said a female
voice tinged with laughter. As she came up to him, she held up her hands in front of
her. "I am unarmed. I come in peace."
"Lady Maxine!" Mamoru heard himself say, "I'm so sorry."
"That's okay," the female said. Mamoru could see her now. She wore an elaborate court
dress of yellow and black. She was what American tourists would probably call "African-
American". She had her long hair arranged in a braided style with a long
strand of pink hair woven through the creation. She had come to a stop next to him and
had put her hands on her hips. "Taking out some aggression, I see."
Obviously Endymion made some kind of face, because the female took her hands from her hips
and cross them in front of him and shot him a look.
"Don't be like that," she admonished. "I know." She laughed at what must have been his
surprised expression, "Everyone who has been near the castle today knows. It is not like
either of you were quiet when you had your 'disagreement'." She paused, then she put her
hand on his shoulder, "Your mother meant well, Endymion. You must believe that."
"What I believe is that she lied to me." he said as he shrugged off her hand and picked up
another javelan. He turned back to the woman he called Maxine, "They sent you out to plead
her case?" His voice sounded surprised, almost as if he was questioning the judgement of
this "they".
"Yeah, well," the lady shrugged her shoulders. "Tremaine is siding with your mother; Arlington,
with you. They are currently in the middle of a rather loud 'disagreement' of their own.
Lady Keiko has the awesome task of playing referee." She laughed, and then sobered. "Your father
is in the eastern providence...because of the cave-in. Your mother wanted to go with him,
but he saw how upset she was over this, so he insisted she stay here. Lady Daniella is with her
now, probably pleading your case. That left me." Brown eyes looked serious as they stared
at him, "Your mother did what she thought was best."
"Best?!" Endymion counted, "Deliberate deceit was best?! Come now, Lady Maxine, I don't
buy that. Mother doesn't either; honesty is too important to her. She knew what she
was doing."
The woman in front of him appeared to become frustrated, "Goodness, every last one of
you is too stubborn by half! Yes, she knew what she was doing; is that what you what
to hear? She knew the contests were dangerous. She knew that Kilgore and Saltmire would
cheat...and that you wouldn't. She knew that many a man came back dead from such
activities. And she 'knew' that you wouldn't listen to her if she tried to tell you
all of this." The woman stopped and took a deep breath, as if she was trying to
calm down. After a second she continued, "Did you need to be at those meetings? No.
Was is a bad idea for you to be there? Probably not. You ARE going to have to lead
those things yourself one day." The lady shrugged, "It could have been worse."
Still feeling angry...and now a little guilty, the heir apparent countered, "I don't
see how." He reached down to pick up another javelan.
The woman practically shreaked in frustration. "That's it. I give up. If you
want to play spoiled brat out here with your sharp toys, don't let me stop you."
She began to walk off, turning back only once to impart this closing thought, "When
you grow up, you may want to talk to your mother. Her heart is breaking over your
treatment of her lately. I think that is enough of a punishment for whatever
deception she practiced, don't you?"
In the light of day the dream still made no sense to Mamoru. It seemed more like
a memory. It was also like the other dreams he'd had in that some of the same names
appeared, including Daniella. While he had figured out who Daniella was at least,
the other names still puzzled him. "Tremaine, Arlington...Keiko, Maxine," he whispered
to himself quietly, "Who are these people? And what happened to them?"
The young man groaned in frustration and took another sip of the now lukewarm coffee in
front of him. He pushed it to the side and ran his fingers through his hair in
frustration. 'What does this dream mean?' He asked himself. 'And why did I have it
last night of all nights? I don't understand any of this!' He sighed...and turned
his mind back to his dream as he waited for May...and, possibly, a concrete tie to
a past he could no longer remember.
*****
She knocked on the door nervously. She came alone, just because she thought it was best. He
had the right to refuse. To force Terry and Yusuke on him before he had made up his mind
wasn't ethical, and it wasn't fair. Both of his brothers had been given a choice; they
both had the chance to turn the opportunity down without having to stare their sibling in
the face. After all she had already put him through, Mamoru Chiba, the former Prince
Endymion, heir to the throne of Earth, deserved that much.
He opened the door and showed her in. As she made her way over to the couch in front
of the coffee table, she took a deep breath, still clutching the covered framed picture
that she brought with her. She promised him a picture; again, she owed him that much.
She just hoped he'd listen to her.
"Thanks you for seeing me, Mamoru," May said softly as she reached the table.
"No, thank you for seeing me." Mamoru said as he sat at the other end of the couch.
He noticed the covered frame in her hand. Realizing what it must be, he got a little
nervous, "I see you found a picture."
May sighed. Looking down at the frame that she clutched, she found herself answering
honestly. "Yes, I found a picture of some of your family. But it is not the picture I
promised; there is no way for me to produce that."
Mamoru stared at her oddly, "What do you mean?"
May blinked the tears from her eyes. "I don't know how to explain this. I-"
She stopped suddenly. She closed her eyes and mubbled very quietly,
"It shouldn't be this hard. He knows about his past. This won't be like the
hard sells I've had to make twice already." She opened her eyes and looked up
at the ceiling to ask God, "Are you sure that I was the right person for this job?"
"May?" Mamoru asked, "Are you okay?"
May shook her head and seemed to come back to the conversation at hand. Blushing
at having been caught musing and praying aloud, she quickly reoriented herself. "Here," she
said as she handed the covered frame toward him. "Hopefully, you'll still want
to talk to me after you see this picture."
Mamoru unwrapped the frame and looked at the picture inside it. There was a surprised
silence from that end of the couch. May understood why. Instead of seeing a modern
picture of a woman, a man, and a little boy or baby he saw a picture of three young
men in a type of armor, tights, and capes, each wearing swords. It also looked more
like a portrait. 'In fact, it used to hang in the Great Hall,' May thought. Then she
realized that the thought she just had made no sense. Before she could think much about
her discovery, however, she was interrupted with by a voice simulataneously angry and
wary.
"Who are you? What do you want with me?"
May looked Mamoru in the eye. It was time to come clean. "I am who I said I am...for the
most part. My name is May Lavon Hammond. I was born in Virginia, a state in the United
States of America. I - well, more about my life really isn't important. What is
important is why I'm here. Over two weeks ago I was give an assignment, an opportunity
to reunite a family, the former royal family of Earth. The family in that picture," May said
as she gestered to the frame. "A family that was separated a long time ago." May laughed, but
there was no joy in it, "Actually, you are the most likely to believe me in that you know
about that era of unrecorded history...some called it the Silver Millenium, although I
would never refer to it that way." She looked back into Mamoru's eyes, "I'm bringing
the royal family back together. That's it."
Mamoru's eyes narrowed in suspision, "And destroying anything or anyone left from the
Silver Millenium as well."
May shook her head. "As fair as that would probably be, no, I have no plans or intentions
of doing anything to the survivors of that reign of tyrrany. All I'm here to do is to
bring together the family...and put someone on notice."
That hadn't lowered Mamoru's defenses at all, "Did you think Pluto wouldn't know you were
here, or warn us about us?"
"Pluto," May repeated. "So the rogue timewalker has a name. As for her knowing I was here,
I figured she'd find out eventually. As I haven't been attacked personally, my guess is
that she doesn't quite realize where the threat to her fiction is coming from, but I knew
that she would know. And of course she would warn you. She worked too hard not too."
Mamoru looked at the woman across from him. She sounded like an emeny...yet she didn't
feel like one. And her comments about Pluto were...strange. Deciding that knowledge
was power, he asked, "Her fiction?"
May nodded, "Yes, her fiction. This Pluto created this world...in a sense. She arranged
everything in it to the best interest of the princess of moon. She altered perceptions
of the Silver Millenium to make it seem a great civilization of peace. She scattered the
royal family of Earth and those they loved across dimensions, time, and space. And she
purposefully altered and erased your memories, of this life and your last."
Considering the turns his life had taken in the past few years, Mamoru didn't think
anything could shock him anymore. He was wrong. "What?!"
May sighed, "You've been having strange dreams lately, right?" Mamoru warily nodded.
"Well, they aren't dreams in the conventional sense; they are repressed memories.
The Silver Millenium didn't happen the way you 'remember' it. As you know,
you were Prince Endymion of Earth during that time. What you don't know is that you
were the oldest of three; you had two younger brothers, Tremaine and Arlington...and loving
parents. You were also engaged-"
"To princess Serenity-"
"Eventually," May conceded, "But that was more to protect Earth from the wrath of Queen
Serenity. Before the empress decided she wanted Earth added to her collection of planets
to dominate, you were engaged to Lady Daniella, a high ranking duchess of Earth. Your
brothers had also found loves of their own in Lady Maxine and Lady Keiko...but no one
really got their happy endings."
'Daniella, Tremaine, Arlington, Maxine, and Keiko...that would explain who all of those
people were,' Mamoru acknowledged to himself. Aloud, however, he felt he needed to
question what was going on as well. May's explanation could be the truth...but it
was also a little too convenient. In a very sceptical and slightly angry voice, Mamoru
interrupted with, "Is this another plot of some jealous evil queen? Is whoever you work
for upset because Serenity and I found each other again?! If you think you can break us up-"
"Now wait a minute!" May's voice rose, "Setting aside the fact that I told you the
truth about why I'm here, which is solely to reunite the royal family, there never was
any Endymion and Serenity; at least not any based on love. Duty and fear, sure, but
not love! That's part of the fiction your 'Pluto' worked so hard to create! I am not
the emeny," May tried to finish in a calmer voice, "I'm trying to right wrongs-"
"How would you know they were wrongs?!"
"Part of me was alive back then!" May finally screamed out. "Part of me was someone
close to the royal family back then," she elaborated quietly, "and although I don't
remember much, I do know that you have been manipulated and fed a fiction."
"Why should I believe you?" Mamoru whispered harshly back at May as he threw her a look
of total mistrust...while internally he admitted that some of what she was saying made
sense.
"Because I'm no Serenity. I'm not a tyrant. This is not about power or handing you to
my spoiled daughter like a gift. I'm telling you the truth!" May leaned forward as
she made her next point, "And, on some level you believe me, or you would have kicked
me out or attacked me much earlier in this conversation."
That angered Mamoru...in part because he was concerned by the truth in that. He had doubts
...at least doubts of Pluto. But, instead of working through that, he responded in righteous
indigation, "The fact that I haven't acted yet means nothing. Why should I believe you? You
lied to get to me. The people in this picture with me are obviously in liege with you
as they were with you at the engagement party. How do I know that you aren't some kind of
mastermind..."
That observation floored May; she was very surprised that Mamoru had recognized Terry and
Yusuke in their past forms. She had as well...but she knew it wasn't easy to do. Neither
boy in that picture had as much of the weight of the world on them in that picture as they
carried around now. But, as she opened her mouth in surprise, the angry young man in front
of her continued.
"You manipulated my feelings. And then you act like you were justified in doing all of
that! If you are telling the truth, you are behaving no better than you accuse Queen Serenity
of behaving. Did you figure it was okay to manipulate me because you claim that someone
else already has?!-"
Hearing what she had wrestled with all day yesterday thrown back in her face hit May hard.
All of her fear about the path she took came back to haunt her. 'I did the wrong thing,' she
thought to herself. 'I cut corners and now I've done more damage, hurt more people...Why
did I think I could do this?! I'm not qualified. I'm still way too human. I-' "I can't do
this!" she finally burst out. "There is no way. I just can't fight this!" she finished
in a whisper. She'd lost. Once lapse in ethics and she'd wounded a man, manipulated him as he
claimed...when all she wanted to do was to give him back one of the families that had been
torn from him. 'I shouldn't have accepted. Lord, I wasn't the right one to do this! I
brought your child more suffering.' She couldn't fight this time walker...or the effects
of the lie she herself purposely told.
Guilt and failure are powerful feelings...and they were crushing May. She felt ready to
crumble. All she wanted to do was cry. She expected to burst into sobs and her normal messy
crying...but that isn't what happened. Instead, she seemed to sag, and she heard herself
say in a strange voice, "Crowns aren't heavy until you do something to dishonor them."
*****
"Crowns aren't heavy until you do something to dishonor them."
That phrase rang in Mamoru's head. It was enough to make him stop...and that slight pause
was all that his memory needed.
"If there is one thing I want to be sure to teach you about the responsbility of ruling,"
the female voice said in Mamoru's memory, "it is this: Crowns aren't heavy...until you
do something ot dishonor them. Rule fairly, with mercy. Walk upright and pray. Show
yourself responsible enough to have the weight of the world set with diamonds upon your
head."
"Mother," Mamoru heard himself reply in the memory, "are you telling me that I shouldn't have-"
"All I'm saying," the voice interrupted, "is that ruling isn't easy. Tough decisions
like this will be normal. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions...just don't
take actions that would make you ashamed to wear your crown in the brightness of day."
The voice faded, but it was enough to make Mamoru pause and look again at May...who looked
assaulted and ashamed. And yet...they was something familar about her eyes...and the
statement she had just said. "Who are you?" he asked again, but softer this time, more puzzled.
At May confused look, he clarified, "I mean, assuming I believe you, back then,
who were you? Because-" He stopped as if unsure how to verbalize what he was thinking.
At this May sighed, "I don't know. I was only told that I...well, that part of me lived
back then and that I knew your family well. I don't know anything else really. I remember
...being around you and your brothers then. I remember pieces of conversations that make
no sense." She looked down at the table again, "I'm sorry."
"You knew my family - my Silver Millenium family," Mamoru clarified. At May's nod, he
took a deep breath. True, maybe at this point he should make her leave. She had
admitted that she lied to him and that she was...in some ways, working against the
people he had allied himself with. But that need to know pushed him to ask, "Then you
knew my parents, the king and queen. What-" Mamoru's voice caught as he realize what
he might finally find out. After clearing his throat, he tried agian, "What were
they like?"
At first May was about to answer that she didn't know, but suddenly, the answer came to
her...although the response seemed to be odd. Not seeing any other option, she
began to say what popped in her head, remembering that she was in the situation because
she had tried to do things her way, in a way that "made sense". "The king, well he was a
great ruler. I guess it would be a little cliche to call someone the 'king of hearts',
but he was. His people adored him, and he in turn adored them. He was very smart, with
a great head for politics and science. He wasn't as great with his emotions; he felt
strongly, but he couldn't always...verbalize his feelings. I think that worried him,
but his queen could see his heart. She tended to understand him...and worked rather
hard to make him laugh and smile so that he wouldn't be all seriousness.
"The queen...had a huge heart and was a loyal and spiritual person. Her problem was her
tendency to reach for revenge or bitterness when her own were attacked. Actually, she was
a lot like Terry and Yusuke are now. She wasn't quite the hothead...although she did have a
sarcastic streak, but she definitely wasn't the calm one. Ironically, all of her mistakes
seemed to teach her something...which she passed on. I...I can't seem to remember more
than that. I can't - I don't even remember what they looked like."
Mamoru looked down at the picture in his hands...and thought. The way May got her opening
to talk to him was very unethical. He was still a little angry with her about that. Then
he thought to his dream. 'If the dream was a memory...and May is telling the truth...maybe
she thought that lying was the only way to get me to listen.' Mamoru closed his eyes.
None of this made any sense to him, but now he was beginning to believe that good and evil
in this case was not as black and white as everyone else saw it. May believed what she had said
here...and he believed that parts of her story were possible. But he needed time to think.
"Mamoru?" May asked quietly, "I know I'm...a little hard to trust at this point, but don't
hold that against your brothers. They are here; you met them briefly at the party. They want
to really meet you, to talk to you and with you about your shared past. At least, Terry does,"
May added in a effort to be totally truthful. Why Yusuke hadn't demanded to be sent back home,
May didn't understand; what she did know is that family was very important to Terry, and he
wanted to get to know these young men who were members of his family long ago. "I can take you
to them if you want. No kidnapping, I promise. It is your decision." May offered.
Mamoru looked up at the end of May's quiet monologue, "You lied to me, to get me here. Then
you turn my world upside-down. I don't think you are lying now-"
"I'm not."
"-not about this," Mamoru continued as if May hadn't spoken. "That doesn't mean that I don't
think you're wrong or that something is wrong..." He ran a hand through his hair, "I need to
think about this." He paused, and then added, "Before I meet anyone or go anywhere I need
to think about it...and I need to have your promise for honesty from now on."
Grateful that she hadn't ruined everything, May assured Mamoru, "You have it. No more
deliberate deceit, I promise. And I understand your need to think about it. I'm still
trying to figure everything out." May tried to smile reassuringly, but some of her
anger over how well the rouge timewalker had manipulated the situation to her advantage
came out in next statement she made, "The only thing I'm sure of is that the Moon Kingdom was
nothing more than a tyrrany."
Mamoru winced at the statement, said with such conviction, that was contray to everything
he knew and had known for the last few years of his life. "I can't believe that," he
admitted fiercly. "I admit that I don't have much of a memory of the Silver Millenium,
and that Pluto hasn't told us much about it, but I refuse to believe that-"
Even though she knew that her recent actions did not make her a reliable source in his
eyes, his continued reliance on the princess's court for information irked her. "Your
'Pluto', the empress's timewalker, changed and surpressed your memories. Separated you
from your family, friends - on purpose!" May pointed out. "How can you not believe that
is evil? That such an action must spring from a former tyrrany?"
"I can't believe that Princess Serenity-"
"Serenity!" Something about that name made part of May very angry. Before she could really think
about what she was about to say, she heard her voice saying, "if she's anything like her mother,
she a selfish despot waiting to happen,"
"No! She has a pure heart; she's isn't the emeny!" That was one of the few things that Mamoru
was sure of, and his voice held that convinction
"Then I am?" May asked in a wounded voice as she attempted to follow his logic. "All I wanted
to do was to bring a family back together! How is that-"
Mamoru held up a hand to silence her. "I need to sort this out on my own."
May looked down at her hands and then back up at the young man in front of her, "So, your
answer is no, then?" she asked quietly.
Mamoru shook his head, "My answer is not now." With that he rose, and, understanding the hint,
May allowed him to show her to the door.
*****
'I still can't believe I'm doing this,' Reika thought to herself as she stood at the
appartment door. That she was standing outside of Mamoru's door was still shocking,
especially considering he was her probably ex-fiance's best friend. She had gotten there on
auto-pilot, still reeling from the day before.
Still shaken from the conversation with May and company, Reika had gotten home to
see the light on her answering machine blinking and the phone ringing. Knowing that
she couldn't deal with any phone calls, especially if they were from Motoki, she
cut off the ringer on her phone and turned down the volume on her answering machine.
Then she sat in her darkened bedroom and tried to figure out what she now knew...
and how her life had changed in the last hour. After lots of confusion and more
tears, she fell asleep...
...to dream of herself as a sobbing Lady Daniella, surrounded by visibly saddened
members of the royal family, crying in the arms of the queen, who told her that
she wasn't alone in that unfair universe.
Awaking to late morning sunshine and a tear-stained pillowcase, Reika renewed her
resolve to talk to Mamoru.
She knocked on the door. After a few moments, it opened. Mamoru stared at her in
surprise. "Reika?"
As she looked at him, she saw the man she had known as Motoki's best friend. Yet, in
his eyes, she saw Daniella's Endy; that was enough to cause her to tear up again.
"May I come in? I have to talk to you."
As Mamoru tell her in, Reika kept thinking over and over again, 'What am I going to
say?' Finally, after he had closed the door and come back into the living room where
she was still standing, he asked, "What's wrong? Did something happen between you
and Motoki?"
Reika stared at him with wide eyes, "I think I'm going crazy," she finally said
after a few beat of silence. Then it all came pouring out.
"I mean, who breaks an engagment over weird dreams?!" Reika asked as she paced
back and forth in front of the couch, "Okay, yes I had doubts before
then, but having dreams of another time, another wedding, and you. And feeling
like I was supposed to be marrying someone else. And dream after dream that made
no sense until I recognized you and May in them," not noticing Mamoru's startled
reaction to this piece of information, she continued, "And then being asked to
elope while trying to make sense of the dreams. Then to mention the dreams to
someone and hear about past lives and-" Reika broke off suddenly and then looked
at Mamoru, "Please just tell me that these are just bridal nerves and you'll help
me get my life back on track,"
At that moment, Mamoru could have said many things, but in trying to make sense
of the whole new load of information he asked a question instead, "Daniella?"
"Oh crap," Reika whispered as she sank to the floor, "Crap. It really is all
true." She looked up at Mamoru, "You were a prince in this past life and I was
supposed to marry you. We were in love and I was supposed to-" tears ran down
her face. She probably would have made another observation if the phone hadn't
start to ring at that moment. She gave Mamoru a panicked look, begging him not
to pick up the phone. He didn't...but that meant they heard the caller on the
other end when the answering machine picked up.
"Mamoru, it's Motoki," said a voice that sounded nothing like his usually
cheerful friend. "If you are there, please pick up." A noise, possibly
an indrawn breath or a strangled sob was heard over the line. "I need
to talk to someone. I think Reika just broke up with me. I don't understand
what happened or why it happened. We were so happy-" His voice broke off
again and after a pause, he finished, "Please. I really need to talk to
someone. She won't return my calls. I don't know what to do. Just...
call." And then there was a click, signifying the end of the call.
There were a few moments of silence as the last sentence, then from the
floor Reika said, "God, what in the hell do I do now?" She looked up
at Mamoru, total confusion evident on her face, "Was I living some
kind of lie? Do I continue to live it? Or am I supposed to marry you?"
"Reika," Mamoru felt impelled to qualify, "whoever we were back then, I love
Usagi now. That's not going to change."
From the floor Reika sighed, "I know that. I thought I loved Motoki too, but..."
Reika took a deep breath and pulled herself off the floor. Turning her
back to Mamoru as she wiped away the tears still running down her face she said,
"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have unloaded everything on you. I'm sure
you have enough on your mind without me crying on your doorstep-"
Mamoru was only able to identify what happened next because it had happened
a few times before. The present him lost control and the part of him that
was Endymion took over, "Daniella, don't do this. Don't be strong for me."
"Endy?" Reika asked in a voice that wasn't hers, "Is fate against us? Will
we never be able to be together? I-"
With that, the reincarnated prince opened his arms, and the reincarnated duchess
went into them to sob out her continuing pain. Her voice was slightly muffled
by his shirt, but she could still be understood. "I do not think that I can do
this again. Even with your mother here as well, offering her comfort, I don't think-"
The words "your mother" snapped Mamoru back to the present, "My mother? My Silver
Millenium mother? She's here?"
Reika drew away from him puzzled, "You didn't recognize her either? I know she's
younger, but she hasn't changed...not much anyway. Why is it that none of you
know who she is? Don't you remember her?"
Mamoru sank down onto his couch, "No," he admitted quietly. "I don't remember
much of anything from the Silver Millenium. What I do 'remember'...well, I think
that some of it didn't happen. I don't remember my family at all. If it wasn't
for my dreams of late...I wouldn't remember you."
Reika sat on the couch next to him, saddness reflected in her eyes, as if she
understood some of his pain. She reached out to touch his shoulder. Their
eyes met. And as they watched old and new pain battle for dominance in the
other persons eyes, they slowly drifted into a hug. One sobbed out her confusion
while the other held on tight as tears of loss and helplessness slowly ran down
his face.
- to be continued -
This is the best angst I've ever written! And poor Reika. Poor Mamoru. Poor
Motoki. And just wait until Usagi finds out about this (as soon as I figure out
how she finds out about this).
What did you think of this chapter? Let me know. Thanks for reading.
~December