Reviews are supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Alania- You reviewed! (Wow like I didn't know that) I hope my story can be a starter for other good Lemony fics. They're fun to read and fun to write.
BingIsBack- Don't freak out! I updated! See? See? Calming breath in… and out.
Spectra16- The clippy? Do you mean Beatrice's hairpin? Yeah, Lemony's okay…for now.
PrincessElionwy- Lemony won't get hurt… um, actually he already did... sorry to confuse you. There really are four chapters! See? Now there's five!
Vetor Swest- I'll try to make my story have a happy ending so you can at least have one joy in life. But I'm not making any promises.
My Lost Marbles- I sure hope your head doesn't explode! That would be a very unfortunate event. Maybe this new chapter will cure your explosive head syndrome.
RockSunner- Glad you like it! I took your advice and named the chapters.
Animeomega- Yay! You reviewed! I'm so happy that you love it! I take it you like Olaf. He is a very cool villain, but a very nasty person.
duddlesismylittlefuzzybunny- Cool new pen name! How'd you choose it? My pen name comes from a chemical found in people's eyes… and rock bands. Never mind. I'm probably confusing you. I'm even confusing myself!
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Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Series of Unfortunate Events books or characters. They all belong to Lemony Snicket and Daniel Handler.
A very handy item you may find useful to pack on your next trip is a thesaurus. A thesaurus is not a type of dinosaur, but a book that will help you write a successful story. It contains an assortment of synonyms for all kinds of words.
For example, the word to describe this chapter, misery, has synonyms such as distress, suffering, agony, worry, pain, despair, desolation, grief, depression, and sadness.
If you do not wish to experience, undergo, feel, and live through a chapter as terrible, horrible, appalling, fearful, ghastly, shocking and unnerving as all this, I advise you to turn your computer off right now.
Lemony rushed down the hallway, searching for a doorway. The first room he entered was filled with mountains of cardboard boxes. Finding no windows or doors, and with his unfortunate past experiences with boxes, Lemony ran back into the hall.
The next room looked more promising, assuring, encouraging. Empty wine bottles littered the floor as well as cracked dirty dishes. A rotting wooden desk sat alone in a corner. Lemony hurried over to it and searched the drawers, which fell apart as he opened them.
Most were empty, but one contained a small hand mirror and in another was a pile of crumbling documents. Lemony grabbed the mirror and pocketed it; maybe he could find a use for it later. He picked up the documents carefully and leafed through (which is very difficult when you have a broken wrist).
The handwriting on most papers was very messy and hard to read. Some papers looked interesting, but Lemony wasn't sure if he had enough time to look at them closely. Olaf and his troupe could be back any minute. Finally Lemony spotted, saw, beheld, viewed, and perceived a clean, newer paper at the bottom.
His heart leapt as he pulled it out and saw the neatly printed black letters from a typewriter. It was the chapter he had been typing! Hopefully Olaf had not read it yet.
Lemony celebrated his triumph shortly and stuffed the chapter in his pocket. The room had no other possible escape routes or interesting items, so Lemony went back into the hall once again.
The third room Lemony entered was the best one yet, or should I say worst considering what happens to him inside it. Lemony was overjoyed, encouraged, joyous, and pleased to see a small window in the far wall. Sadly the window had thick iron bars on it, blocking his escape from the disgusting building.
Lemony turned and started to make his way out of the room to search for another door or window, but something in the doorway made him stop dead in his tracks. This phrase does not mean, "His heart stopped beating and he failed to breathe oxygen," but, "Lemony ceased walking very suddenly".
The fire from the room Lemony had been held captive in was spreading, fed by rotting wood and cardboard from other rooms. The doorway was now a wall of flaming terror. Heat radiated off of it and made Lemony sweat profusely. Perhaps he could jump over the flames? The doorway answered the question for him.
A huge beam of burning wood came crashing down from the top of the door frame and sent sparks flying everywhere. To try and get through the doorway would mean almost certain death, demise, passing, loss of life, extinction.
Lemony now knew he had only one way out, the tiny barred window. He didn't have much time. Lemony scrambled over to the window and frantically searched for something he could use to get through the bars.
Every single inch of the room was items-that-break-through-iron-bars-free. Lemony would just have to find another way out. But there was no other way. Lemony peered outside of the window, into the smoky outdoors.
To his surprise, Lemony saw a very strange phenomena he though he'd never see again in his lifetime. A black Jeep was parked outside in the northwest corner of the parking lot.
Lemony could tell, of course, that the person in the Jeep was very mixed up, because the Jeep was supposed to be parked outside the Orion Observatory, and not this strange warehouse Olaf had imprisoned him in. But the driver looked quite young, and they could have been a new recruit.
There was no doubt, demur, or disbelief in Lemony's mind that this person was a volunteer. It was too much of a coincidence. Lemony yelled for help and waved his arms hysterically. But no matter how much he screamed, he knew the driver would never hear him.
Suddenly Lemony had an odd memory come to him. Three small children stranded in a boat surrounded by leeches… the oldest using the principles of the convergence and refraction of light to signal a boat….
Lemony knew what he had to do. He grabbed the small hand mirror from his pocket and carefully angled it so that the pale sunlight from outside hit it just right. Even though Lemony had never really understood the convergence and refraction of light, he knew he had to aim the beam at the Jeep outside.
After a few moments of suspenseful silence, Lemony saw a small female figure exit the Jeep and look curiously at the window where Lemony was. Lemony started hollering again, and was delighted to see the person start walking over to where he was held prisoner.
A loud sound behind him made Lemony whip around. The flames were getting closer and closer, knocking things over and eating them in its fury. Lemony realized that no matter how quickly the driver of the Jeep ran over to him, Lemony would become a pile of ashes before she even got a glimpse of him.
He had to find a way to stall the fire's progress. Lemony racked his brain, seeking a memory of his basic V.F.D. training. Finally he recalled a lesson he had on extinguishing fires. First you must douse the fire. Lemony had no water of other fluids. Next you have to take away the fire's air. Lemony quickly took off his coat and threw it over the flames.
There was a terrible hissing noise as the fire fought to keep on breathing, like a wild animal underwater. It stopped, but Lemony knew he only had a matter of minutes before the fire reappeared again. He could see the volunteer outside the window, but smoke obscured a clear view of her face. "Help me!" Lemony cried, "Olaf-"
But before he could finish his sentence a huge cloud of smoke and ash caused Lemony to break out in a fit of coughing. The fire had eaten through his coat and was crawling, creeping, moving, and coming closer…
Soon the flames were there…inches away. Lemony kept coughing as more and more smoke filled his nostrils and clouded his brain. He was inhaling an overabundance of ash… the edges of Lemony's mind began to blur. He could vaguely see, as if in another world, the iron bars clatter to the ground…in a last effort, Lemony jumped for the now unblocked window frame.
Coughing violently, Lemony used his last ounce of strength to heave himself up and out the window…out of the blazing inferno. Lemony slipped, but he felt a strong firm hand grab him and pull him out.
His broken wrist was screaming in pain, and blood was flowing out of his hands and legs…Lemony sprawled out on the grass, and for the second time in the last couple of days, he fainted.