Similar

By Timberwolf220

Part Two: Because we were worlds apart

Spike's POV

I can't tell if I'm alive anymore. Everything, every detail seemed so fogged up and hazy and I can't seem to clear myself up. It's as if my eyes have been fogged up by the rain and I can't wipe it off.

Was I destined to live like this? Was I supposed to live with one eye in the past and the other in the present? Life….was it ever meant to be this tedious?

"You have been lax," Mao said to me, "Shirking from duty?" There was a serious glint in his eye, though his demeanor was relaxed.

We were in the Red Dragon office building. The Elders had instructed me to take care of some trades of red-eye that has recently come in and to 'deal' with them. Trades with the Red Dragon clan were allowed to a specified chosen and even then, you would have to be someone who knows how to deal with this. Half of these 'trades' are get-rich ideas which I can tell you, never succeed.

"I wish," I replied with my usual amount of tact. I trusted Mao, the current leader. Note, I said leader. You cannot take over the Elders. I'm pretty sure those old crones have their ears everywhere and killing them is pretty much impossible. It was a good thought though.

"How did it go?" Mao asked, glancing at his watch.

I tried to show my disgust over this kind of work by stepping on my cigarette as I replied, "Well enough." The people that I killed were nothing. They couldn't even hold a gun properly. It was pathetic.

I was pathetic.

"There's a change of hands by the way," Mao mentioned casually, his soft beetle-black eyes following me. It must be important to me if he is gauging my reaction.

And I didn't have one. Of course, change of hands was important. That way, you can either rise or fall. I had a high enough position as it is. Hell, they raised me to become the perfect leader and eventually (I shudder) an Elder.

"So?" I wondered who it might be. Shin? Lin?

"Vicious," Mao ignored my sudden hiss in my breathing and continued, "He's going to be appointed executioner," He then looked at me and his eyes were swirling. Was he sorry for me? Why should he be?

And why am I getting so worked up about it?

"Executioner, huh?" I lit another cigarette and tried to appear as nonchalantly as possible. I probably failed miserably. Mao was the closest thing I had to a father, other than the real one which I ended up killing anyway.

Foolishness.

"Who appointed him? Did you do it?" I asked, not looking at him. I would give myself away.

"The Elders," And I blew a stream of smoke in the air at that answer, "Spike, you…"

"It doesn't matter," I cut him off, looking upwards, the symbol of the Red Dragon embossed on the ceiling, "Really, it doesn't."

(O)

Are you alive…Spike?

Do you…want to live…?

….No…

I don't want to live…it hurts…hurts so much…

"This is a change of hands," An old voice rang through the room like steel against steel, "Vicious is now Executioner."

A slow pause was heard until one brave soul started clapping and Vicious walked up to the threshold where the Elders sat. His face betrayed no emotion and even from that distance, I could feel the weight of his eyes on me.

"Accept this cloak," One of the Elders held in his hands a black velvet cloak with one gold chain across the neck. Vicious accepted it gracefully and wore it. There was uproar and the clapping became louder. He faced the crowd and again, the ashen gaze was fixated on me. I was not the least bit worried about it. But this new position worried me.

It was later on, that he came. There was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I grunted. The door closed with a soft click and I looked at Vicious. I was lying on the bed, my eyes aimlessly roaming over the ceiling. He seemed to avoid my eyes as he sat on a chair next to the bed. His katana was gripped tightly and made his knuckles seem whiter than his skin actually was.

"Are you angry?" It was more a statement than a question, but that's how he phrased it. I didn't say anything, choosing silence as an answer. He fidgeted.

"You are," He said softly, "Why?"

"You should know that," The reply slipped out of my mouth before I could restrain it. I winced and continued to look at the ceiling.

Vicious looked at me and for the second time of my life, I saw anger being directed at me.

"I wanted this," He said heatedly, "Why can't you accept that? You can't coddle me forever!" He got up suddenly, the chair wheeling from the movement and glared at me. I felt a lump in my throat, but I ignored it.

"Coddle you! Do you want to be like the Elders?" I retorted angrily. Why can't he see the reason behind this?

"Trust me, when the time comes, I'll kill them myself!" Vicious snapped.

There was an uncomfortable pause at those words. As if they were prophetic in some way. I shook the feeling off and glared at him, "Why do you want to be an Executioner?"

"Because then I can rely on myself!" I stepped back at the venom in his words, "I don't need you to protect me Spike!"

"Vicious…" Protect him…I suppose I had been doing that. But isn't that what I was supposed to do? I took him off the street; I raised him, and made him what he was today….was I keeping him to myself?

Why? I didn't owe him anything, so why was I still hanging onto him?

"Spike…" Vicious' voice felt white hot to my skin, "You can't control me."

I didn't realize it, but I had gotten up and was now staring in his eyes. Those ashen eyes…..like an animal's……a snake's….

"A snake," I murmured. That was the beast inside Vicious. Was I…like that snake? Or was I…a dragon instead?

Vicious looked straight at me and I felt a clenching in my heart. And without thinking, I leaned in and kissed him.

(O)

Hitotsu no me de asu o mite

Hitotsu no me de kinou mitsumeteru

Kimi no ai no yurikagode

Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara

One side of my eyes see tomorrow,

And the other one see yesterday

I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again (1)

"He hasn't spoken to me since…that incident," I told Annie, running my hand through my messy green-black locks. I scowled as I placed my feet on her counter (she hates that), "And I really don't know what to do."

I was in Annie's shop. Annie and Mao….you could say they were my parents when I had none. Annie was the only thing I had to a mother. I don't know what happened to the actual one and no one ever mentioned. This was fine by me. Parents were something I happily did without.

"Serves you right," Annie said self-righteously, "Who told you to kiss him without his permission, huh?" She knocked my feet off her counter and began wiping it furiously, "You brought this on yourself, and you deal with it."

"But Ann-nie…" I whined, "What should I do?"

She paused from her vigorous cleaning and gave me a double-edged glance that left me pondering for a moment. Then she turned her head away, glancing at the photo that was beside the counter. It had Annie, Mao and my father. At least, that's what Annie told me. I don't remember what he looks like and I particularly don't care. Probably because I was the one who killed him.

"Annie…" I said, not whining this time, "He's been avoiding me and Lin won't tell me what he's been doing lately. In fact," I paused to mull over it, "He's hardly been in the Headquarters lately."

"Maybe he has something better to do than to lounge around indoors like you," She snapped, "And if you don't get your feet off my counter in less than five seconds, I'm kicking you out."

I quickly complied. Annie actually carries out her threats. Also, Annie was part of the Red Dragon Syndicate, so she is a force to be reckoned with.

"Something better to do?" I queried, "Vicious?"

Annie stopped cleaning and I placed my three cents, "Annie," I said calmly, "Would you happen to know why Vicious hasn't been at the Headquarters lately?"

She hesitated and I knew she did, "Annie, what is it?" I found it hard to ignore the buzz of worry and fear in the pit of my stomach.

Annie sighed and rested her head on her elbows, "He's with Julia."

Julia. The girl with the jaded eyes. I never truly forgot about her, but lately, I haven't given her much thought. Odd, considering she was the only girl I've ever felt so strongly about. Something in her gaze always compelled me towards her. As if she was the light and I was the poor ignorant moth.

But apparently, Vicious was the moth this time.

I swallowed my reactions and tried to appear neutral, "Is that right?" I can't believe he never told me…Vicious…..

I got up quickly from my chair and nearly stumbled a bit. Annie raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. I placed a placid smile on my face and walked out quietly, my thoughts in turmoil.

(O)

It was a bad idea from the start….

The coup…succeeded, but I was bleeding inside out.

Hopeless hope and the chance with traps…(2)

Vicious…did you feel anything for me?

Where did that go?

Protection...protector…..lover…love…destroy...destroyer….

"Spike!"

Blood everywhere…I was feeling. When I touch the ground…will I die?

"Spike?"

A voice...Is that Vicious?

I can feel the ground rising to catch me.

I'm sorry Vicious….I didn't keep my promise…..

I'm going to die.

(O)

A melody drifts into my ears. My head hurts like hell and a familiar feeling of itchiness around my face. I wracked my memory (And caused my head to pound) and realized what it was. Bandages.

The melody calmed me. All the doubts that filled my head since my talk with Annie seemed to ebb away, replaced by a feeling of total contentment.

Is this…peace?

Was I alive? Or just dreaming? Was this another hallucination brought on by my operation?

Dore dake ikireba iyasareru no darou

How long I must live till I release? (1)

"You're awake," The singing voice drifted over me and I saw the two eyes. They were the same as I remembered them to be and yet…they were not. These eyes were alive, full of grace. She was alive, she breathed life and dew. Those were not the jaded eyes I remember. She….was Julia…..and she was not.

"Sing that song," At her puzzled look, I continued, "Just like that. Sing that song."

A soft smile appeared on her face and with that song she guided me back to life.

(O)

Normal POV

"Spike hasn't come back!" Vicious shook Lin, "What happened! Where is he!"

"Calm down Vicious!" Lin said, pushing his hands off, "Spike can take care of himself!"

Because then I can rely on myself!

Vicious said nothing, his eyes betraying none of the feelings he held inside. If he had any, Lin thought sarcastically. Vicious didn't show a shred of compassion to anyone except Spike.

And even then…

"Lin," Lin jolted at the sound of his name and faced Vicious and winced. It would have been better if he could have at least seen some anger or worry in his eyes. But there was nothing but the ashen grey, "Start a search. FIND him, understood?"

Lin clicked his heels and nodded. When he left the room, he exhaled, sweat on his brow.

You better be alive Spike, Lin thought, Otherwise, who knows what Vicious might do when you're not here!

A/N: Well, I was planning to have more Julia x Vicious interaction, but

I doubt it. It's hard to write that particular pairing, you know? At any rate, the next chapter will have more Julia x Spike interaction. Hope for the best folks!

This is taken from the song 'The Real Folk Blues' You probably recognized it (if you're a die hard Bebop fan)

Random quote taken from 'The Real Folk Blues'