Chapter thirteen: Was It Paradise?
Usagi sighed as she walked down the hall. She still wasn't sure she
should be doing this, but she had jumped all over Mamoru when he didn't
share his dreams with her; turnabout was fairplay. Making the decision
to share the dream did not make her feel better, however; a feeling of
fear and disquiet hadn't left her heart since she woke up from her
dream this morning.
In the dream she was Serenity, and it seemed to be set in the Silver
Millennium. In fact, it almost felt like a memory. She was sitting
in a garden on Earth, talking to Luna, who was in her human form.
"Luna, I'm not really sure what to think anymore. Originally, I
agrred to go along with an engagment to an earthern noble because
Mother pointed out that such an arrangment was politically necessary.
To have a planet in our solar system that was not a part of our
alliance was 'leaving ourselves open for attack,' therefore an
unbreakable alliance was necessary. I'd resigned myself to my fate.
But then I met Endymion. I got to know him, and-"
"That changed everything," Luna finished.
"Well, yes, it did. I have always wanted to marry for...well, for
friendhsip if not love. I wanted to marry someone to whom I could
talk. I cannot talk to my court. They are so formal and so careful
about what they say around me." Serenity sighed, "I do not think
they like me very much."
Luna nodded.
Serenity started to pluck the petals from the rose in her lap as she
continued to speak, "When I first agreed to Mother's idea about a
political marriage, I thought that I was signing away the chance to
marry for friendship. But, somewhere in those diplomatic meetings
and visits, I found that I could talk to Prince Endymion. And I think
I fell in love with him, with his dedication, his insecurity, and his
laughter. In some ways he was the kind of person I wanted to be, and,
when he proposed-"
"You had hope," Luna said, nodding her head. "You thought that your
feelings were returned." Luna gave Serenity a small, encouraging
smile. "There is no reason to think that they are not. Just because
some on this planet seen hostile to you does not mean that he is."
"I know," the princess replied. "But his proposal was so...cold. It
seemed almost like he was reading a treaty and asking me to sign it.
And since then he has seemed so sad. I want to help, but I do not
know how."
"Go find him," Luna suggested. "Go find him and tell him how you feel.
Maybe together you can figure out what to do."
Serenity got up, brushed the rose petals off of her dress, and hugged
Luna. "Thank you for listening, for helping. You are a great friend,
the only one I have."
"You have a good heart, princess, no matter what your other genes might
be."
Serenity nodded and left Luna to go in search of her prince. As she was
leaving the gardens, she heard a muffled voice that sounded familar.
Going back into the garden, she followed the sound until she was almost
at the main clearing in the palace gardens. As she approached the
clearing was blocked by a rose bush, but as she rounded the corner she
saw more than she wanted to see.
From the edge of the clearing she heard Endymion say, "Daniella...I may
have to marry the princess of the moon, but she will never have my heart.
You are my 'now and forever'. I won't forget you." If that did not hurt
her heart enough, when she stepped into the clearing sight added to sound.
Endymion had a sobbing woman in his arms and he had tears running down
his own face. That wouldn't have been so disturbing, if the closeness
between the two people in the embrace wasn't so evident. In fact, they
appeared to cling to each other as if they were trying to hold onto
their other half. 'Endymion never holds me like that,' Serenity thought
to herself. In fact, Endymion had never behaved that openly or
warmly around her. In that moment a fear she had never considered, that
Endymion may not love her, washed over her like a tital wave.
Serenity gasped and watched two heads turn in her direction before Usagi
woke up.
Usagi had sat in bed, horrified. Had Endymion really not loved Serenity?
Who was this "Daniella" and why did she seem familar? What did Luna
mean about Serenity's "genes"? The questions swirled around in Usagi's
head, but is always came back to whether or not Endymion had loved
Serenity and what that meant for her and Mamoru.
At that is what led her to Mamoru's apartment building on a Saturday
afternoon. At first, she'd thought about talking to the other senshi
about her dream, but decided against it. She was afraid that they
might trivivalize her fears. Also, she really didn't want to have
to recount the part of her dream that made their past lives seem cold.
The Luna she knew was definitely not as supportive as the one in her
dream and she really couldn't tell someone who didn't already know about
her past as the moon princess. So that left Mamoru. She really hoped
that he'd tell her that it was just something she ate and that
everything was going to be okay.
As she neared Mamoru's door, she noticed that it was ajar. A little
concerned about this, she decided to walk in without knocking to make
sure everything was okay. What she saw as she entered the living room
was enough to make her gasp in surprise and freeze in her tracks.
In a scene straight out of her dream, Mamoru had his arms around another
woman...and they seemed to be clingoing to each other for dear life.
At her gasp, the two crying people turned to look at her. At that moment
Usagi knew who the Daniella in her dreams was and why she looked familar.
Daniella looked exactly like Reika, the Reika she knew as Motoki's
girlfriend and then fiancee. The Reika who had been crying in Mamoru's
arms, who was practically in his lap when Usagi walked in. "Oh my God,"
Usagi said quietly.
That spurred Mamoru into action. Letting go of Reika and jumping to
his feet, he began to cross the room toward Usagi. "Usako, this is not
what it looks like."
"Then what's going on here?" Usagi asked as she felt herself beginning
to tear up again. She looked at Reika and then at Mamoru. "Why?"
she asked. "Reika's engaged to your best friend! And I thought we-"
Usagi choked on a sob. "I want an explanation."
At the word 'explanation' Reika wiped the tears from her eyes and began
to stare at upset young blonde across the room. Reika had never felt
completely comfortable around Usagi and she had never understood why...
until this moment. Looking at Usagi's wide blue eyes, she finally
recognize her for who she was, Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom.
Then Reika felt anger, the anger of losing her Endy to the same woman...
twice! She felt the anger that came with realizing that while her life
was a cluster fuck, Usagi's life was sweetness and light. And Usagi had
the nerve to look all injured when nothing happened and nothing ever
would happen-
Reika sprang to her feet. "I don't understand what you're so upset about.
Everything has conveniently worked to your advantage."
"Reika," Mamoru warned, but neither woman was paying any attention to him.
"What?" Usagi asked, very confused by the sudden attack from Reika.
"Oh don't play dumb with me, Serenity," Reika spat. Noting that Usagi's
eyes widened, Reika continued. "Yes, I know you're Serenity. Did you
think that I would never figure it out? How many years have you been
laughing at my ignorance? How many years have you been internally
gloating about how things somehow managed to 'work out' for you?"
Usagi was shocked, both by Reika's attitude and by the fact that Reika
had called her Serenity. "What do you mean?" Usagi asked. Half
of what Reika said didn't make any sense. What did make sense to Usagi
was that Reika was staking some claim on her Mamo-chan and that Reika
somehow didn't understand how that would upset her. That actually made
Usagi angry. "I found you in the arms of MY BOYFRIEND!" Usagi countered.
"How was I supposed to react?"
"Oh please, spare me this 'I've been wronged, I'm wounded' crap. He's
yours. You have him tied to you as securely in this life as you had
him in the last, albeit for different reasons. You know nothing
happened. You knew nothing was going to happen. I'd ask you how you
do it, but I don't think I'd want to be the bitch I'd have to be to win
the game you're playing."
Mamoru had had enough with that statement. "Reika, leave her alone.
Regardless of how we ended up in this situation, it is not Usagi's
fault," he said.
"Wait, are you admitting to a past relationship with her?" Usagi asked,
sounding wounded.
"You are taking HER side?!" Reika shouted angrily as she pointed to
Usagi. "She had to have a hand in...everything! This kind of situation
doesn't 'just happen'! And she's the only one who stands to benefit
from the way things are!"
Mamoru raised his hands in front of him, "Look, all I'm saying is that
there is nothing to fight about here. I'm not sure what happened in
the past or what happened to make the present this way. What I do
know is that whatever happened, no one in this room is to blame for it."
"How is she a part of your past? And why didn't you tell me?" Usagi
cried.
"I can't believe that you think she's blameless!" Reika exploded. "It's
like - Oh, I get it." Reika said more softly as a resigned comprehension
crossed her face. "This is about sides, and you've chosen one. Hers.
Don't worry," she continued as it looked as if Mamoru was going to
say something, "I'm on my way out; I won't bother you again." Reika
took a deep breath and walked past both a tormented Mamoru and a
distressed Usagi. As she reached the door, Reika turned around and
said to Mamoru, "Earlier you alluded to the fact that we are different
people than we were then. Well, you're right. The Endy I knew cared
about his family. That you are shutting out your brothers and your
mother...it blows my mind. And the Endy I knew, well-" Reika sighed
as a tear rolled down her cheek. "A long time ago the man I loved told
me that I was his 'now and forever'. I believed him; it got me through
the pain of losing him for the greater good. I'm glad I didn't realize
then that it was a lie." And with that parting statement, Reika opened
the door and walked out.
- to be continued -
Help, help, help! I'm at the stage when I'm trying to wrap up the
story and I need your input. Let me know what you think via email
or review.
Thanks for reading.
~December
Usagi sighed as she walked down the hall. She still wasn't sure she
should be doing this, but she had jumped all over Mamoru when he didn't
share his dreams with her; turnabout was fairplay. Making the decision
to share the dream did not make her feel better, however; a feeling of
fear and disquiet hadn't left her heart since she woke up from her
dream this morning.
In the dream she was Serenity, and it seemed to be set in the Silver
Millennium. In fact, it almost felt like a memory. She was sitting
in a garden on Earth, talking to Luna, who was in her human form.
"Luna, I'm not really sure what to think anymore. Originally, I
agrred to go along with an engagment to an earthern noble because
Mother pointed out that such an arrangment was politically necessary.
To have a planet in our solar system that was not a part of our
alliance was 'leaving ourselves open for attack,' therefore an
unbreakable alliance was necessary. I'd resigned myself to my fate.
But then I met Endymion. I got to know him, and-"
"That changed everything," Luna finished.
"Well, yes, it did. I have always wanted to marry for...well, for
friendhsip if not love. I wanted to marry someone to whom I could
talk. I cannot talk to my court. They are so formal and so careful
about what they say around me." Serenity sighed, "I do not think
they like me very much."
Luna nodded.
Serenity started to pluck the petals from the rose in her lap as she
continued to speak, "When I first agreed to Mother's idea about a
political marriage, I thought that I was signing away the chance to
marry for friendship. But, somewhere in those diplomatic meetings
and visits, I found that I could talk to Prince Endymion. And I think
I fell in love with him, with his dedication, his insecurity, and his
laughter. In some ways he was the kind of person I wanted to be, and,
when he proposed-"
"You had hope," Luna said, nodding her head. "You thought that your
feelings were returned." Luna gave Serenity a small, encouraging
smile. "There is no reason to think that they are not. Just because
some on this planet seen hostile to you does not mean that he is."
"I know," the princess replied. "But his proposal was so...cold. It
seemed almost like he was reading a treaty and asking me to sign it.
And since then he has seemed so sad. I want to help, but I do not
know how."
"Go find him," Luna suggested. "Go find him and tell him how you feel.
Maybe together you can figure out what to do."
Serenity got up, brushed the rose petals off of her dress, and hugged
Luna. "Thank you for listening, for helping. You are a great friend,
the only one I have."
"You have a good heart, princess, no matter what your other genes might
be."
Serenity nodded and left Luna to go in search of her prince. As she was
leaving the gardens, she heard a muffled voice that sounded familar.
Going back into the garden, she followed the sound until she was almost
at the main clearing in the palace gardens. As she approached the
clearing was blocked by a rose bush, but as she rounded the corner she
saw more than she wanted to see.
From the edge of the clearing she heard Endymion say, "Daniella...I may
have to marry the princess of the moon, but she will never have my heart.
You are my 'now and forever'. I won't forget you." If that did not hurt
her heart enough, when she stepped into the clearing sight added to sound.
Endymion had a sobbing woman in his arms and he had tears running down
his own face. That wouldn't have been so disturbing, if the closeness
between the two people in the embrace wasn't so evident. In fact, they
appeared to cling to each other as if they were trying to hold onto
their other half. 'Endymion never holds me like that,' Serenity thought
to herself. In fact, Endymion had never behaved that openly or
warmly around her. In that moment a fear she had never considered, that
Endymion may not love her, washed over her like a tital wave.
Serenity gasped and watched two heads turn in her direction before Usagi
woke up.
Usagi had sat in bed, horrified. Had Endymion really not loved Serenity?
Who was this "Daniella" and why did she seem familar? What did Luna
mean about Serenity's "genes"? The questions swirled around in Usagi's
head, but is always came back to whether or not Endymion had loved
Serenity and what that meant for her and Mamoru.
At that is what led her to Mamoru's apartment building on a Saturday
afternoon. At first, she'd thought about talking to the other senshi
about her dream, but decided against it. She was afraid that they
might trivivalize her fears. Also, she really didn't want to have
to recount the part of her dream that made their past lives seem cold.
The Luna she knew was definitely not as supportive as the one in her
dream and she really couldn't tell someone who didn't already know about
her past as the moon princess. So that left Mamoru. She really hoped
that he'd tell her that it was just something she ate and that
everything was going to be okay.
As she neared Mamoru's door, she noticed that it was ajar. A little
concerned about this, she decided to walk in without knocking to make
sure everything was okay. What she saw as she entered the living room
was enough to make her gasp in surprise and freeze in her tracks.
In a scene straight out of her dream, Mamoru had his arms around another
woman...and they seemed to be clingoing to each other for dear life.
At her gasp, the two crying people turned to look at her. At that moment
Usagi knew who the Daniella in her dreams was and why she looked familar.
Daniella looked exactly like Reika, the Reika she knew as Motoki's
girlfriend and then fiancee. The Reika who had been crying in Mamoru's
arms, who was practically in his lap when Usagi walked in. "Oh my God,"
Usagi said quietly.
That spurred Mamoru into action. Letting go of Reika and jumping to
his feet, he began to cross the room toward Usagi. "Usako, this is not
what it looks like."
"Then what's going on here?" Usagi asked as she felt herself beginning
to tear up again. She looked at Reika and then at Mamoru. "Why?"
she asked. "Reika's engaged to your best friend! And I thought we-"
Usagi choked on a sob. "I want an explanation."
At the word 'explanation' Reika wiped the tears from her eyes and began
to stare at upset young blonde across the room. Reika had never felt
completely comfortable around Usagi and she had never understood why...
until this moment. Looking at Usagi's wide blue eyes, she finally
recognize her for who she was, Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom.
Then Reika felt anger, the anger of losing her Endy to the same woman...
twice! She felt the anger that came with realizing that while her life
was a cluster fuck, Usagi's life was sweetness and light. And Usagi had
the nerve to look all injured when nothing happened and nothing ever
would happen-
Reika sprang to her feet. "I don't understand what you're so upset about.
Everything has conveniently worked to your advantage."
"Reika," Mamoru warned, but neither woman was paying any attention to him.
"What?" Usagi asked, very confused by the sudden attack from Reika.
"Oh don't play dumb with me, Serenity," Reika spat. Noting that Usagi's
eyes widened, Reika continued. "Yes, I know you're Serenity. Did you
think that I would never figure it out? How many years have you been
laughing at my ignorance? How many years have you been internally
gloating about how things somehow managed to 'work out' for you?"
Usagi was shocked, both by Reika's attitude and by the fact that Reika
had called her Serenity. "What do you mean?" Usagi asked. Half
of what Reika said didn't make any sense. What did make sense to Usagi
was that Reika was staking some claim on her Mamo-chan and that Reika
somehow didn't understand how that would upset her. That actually made
Usagi angry. "I found you in the arms of MY BOYFRIEND!" Usagi countered.
"How was I supposed to react?"
"Oh please, spare me this 'I've been wronged, I'm wounded' crap. He's
yours. You have him tied to you as securely in this life as you had
him in the last, albeit for different reasons. You know nothing
happened. You knew nothing was going to happen. I'd ask you how you
do it, but I don't think I'd want to be the bitch I'd have to be to win
the game you're playing."
Mamoru had had enough with that statement. "Reika, leave her alone.
Regardless of how we ended up in this situation, it is not Usagi's
fault," he said.
"Wait, are you admitting to a past relationship with her?" Usagi asked,
sounding wounded.
"You are taking HER side?!" Reika shouted angrily as she pointed to
Usagi. "She had to have a hand in...everything! This kind of situation
doesn't 'just happen'! And she's the only one who stands to benefit
from the way things are!"
Mamoru raised his hands in front of him, "Look, all I'm saying is that
there is nothing to fight about here. I'm not sure what happened in
the past or what happened to make the present this way. What I do
know is that whatever happened, no one in this room is to blame for it."
"How is she a part of your past? And why didn't you tell me?" Usagi
cried.
"I can't believe that you think she's blameless!" Reika exploded. "It's
like - Oh, I get it." Reika said more softly as a resigned comprehension
crossed her face. "This is about sides, and you've chosen one. Hers.
Don't worry," she continued as it looked as if Mamoru was going to
say something, "I'm on my way out; I won't bother you again." Reika
took a deep breath and walked past both a tormented Mamoru and a
distressed Usagi. As she reached the door, Reika turned around and
said to Mamoru, "Earlier you alluded to the fact that we are different
people than we were then. Well, you're right. The Endy I knew cared
about his family. That you are shutting out your brothers and your
mother...it blows my mind. And the Endy I knew, well-" Reika sighed
as a tear rolled down her cheek. "A long time ago the man I loved told
me that I was his 'now and forever'. I believed him; it got me through
the pain of losing him for the greater good. I'm glad I didn't realize
then that it was a lie." And with that parting statement, Reika opened
the door and walked out.
- to be continued -
Help, help, help! I'm at the stage when I'm trying to wrap up the
story and I need your input. Let me know what you think via email
or review.
Thanks for reading.
~December