FOOL
Chapt. 4
I can very well imagine what the family would do if they could see into my mind. See the unbelievable perverted things that are visioned whilst I stare at him across this room.
I realize that there is not a chance in this world that I could hold him more than I do now.
I realize that there is not a chance in this world that I could ever feel his love for me.
No I will never be anything more than his first. But I think I can live with that. After all it's not as if I love him for being any more than a boy. One that I have no chance at conquering. One that is the world's greatest hero.
This room is rather depressing. With the hissing sounds coming from cupboards that haven't been really cleaned, or touched in a year. The master of this house has gone. Leaving only a portrait of a despicable mother behind. The way that she screamed at all of us as that Auror Tonks knocked on the door.
I feel my own ignorance in this room. The way that the objects have the distinct cold superior look to them. The family crest nearly on everything.
I've been looking at one particularly tapestry. The connections that interlock all of the pure- blooded families. The way that the Weasley are burnt off of it. The scotch mark a sign that even if I were to have brought a pure- blooded honour to our family it would've been in vain. But it's rather an ugly beauty to know that all of us are connected in this fine web of lies and betrayals. As though the world was locked and loaded out of our world. As though the only things that matter is us.
Harry's staring at me, watching with closed eyes as I analyze the tapestry. I wish that I could have him read my mind. I wish that all of the people in this room could see me for me. Not as the once fallen from grace Perfect Prefect Percy. I wish that Ron could remember that I am his brother. The one that held him as his world fell apart to reveal the reality that children are hidden from. I wish that Fred and George could remember that I was once one of their biggest fans. That I loved at one point the way that their antics would make me smile and laugh as only children can laugh. I wish that Bill and Charlie would hold me and tickle me as they did when I was… not perfect, nor ambitious.
My mother and father. They never really knew me. They never really cared. Father's business, Mother's divided attention.
Harry's staring at me still. Ginny, ah when Ginny was born I thought that the world shone for her. I wished that the world would be roses and cloudy days for her. But before she could even remember her life, I changed. I changed into this person who felt nothing for anything. This person whose only feeling was shame for his family, shame for the way that his clothes were tattered and torn. The way that on his first day at Hogwarts his books fell apart at the spine. Shame at the way the sneers from his counterparts seemed to sneak into his mind.
Ah, if only you dared to turn back time.
I sigh turn away from the tapestry that seems to mark all that is wrong in this world. The incest, the detachment of a family tree that is one of the most despicable that humankind will ever give birth to.
Harry looks at me. His emerald eyes for a minute flicker with a small gust of confusion. Only to turn back to the rantings of dear Ms. Tonks.
I can tell by the way that they keep sitting there their waiting for someone of much importance to arrive. I can guess who it is.
"Hello, Percy. Pleasure to see you again." The kind tone could only belong to one person.
"Hello, Headmaster." I have only had a selected few confrontations between this man and his twinkling eyes and white hair.
Smiling he greets everyone else. I'm silently reminded of the jealousy that I felt towards Harry, as the Headmaster greets him more warmly than the rest.
"I believe its time to start this meeting." I sit down. With the feeling that I am going to regret allowing myself to be persuaded to come to this rotting house.
"As I'm sure you are all wondering why I have decided to let the young ones join in on this Order of Phoenix the answer simply is ignorance is the enemy of mankind. If I do not allow the young ones to finally become apart of what they are destined to become than they are the most easily marked for a horror that no soul can ever imagine.
The Dark Lord Voldemort is back. We've know this longer than anybody. But the past month's events have made it clear that even we, even I was not prepared for the tragedy of it. We must finish this before it starts I'm afraid. If that is to send the hunter into a hungry lions den, than that is what must be done. I will not tell you that bravery will work for you here. I will not lie to comfort you.
We will die. The world will die, if we do not stop this unspeakable evil before it consumes us. We must if it is the way things are done, do what we will. There is no point in hiding it."
The sadness is obvious in his ancient face. The despair that has marked my life in its most pathetic moments is etched on the already sad face of a man whose seen more than the world has yet to see in its entirety.
Turning to me his face grows sadder.
"I am asking you, not requesting you Percy to go back to the Ministry and work in behind scenes. To be the eyes and ears of the Order." I feel the many pairs of eyes turn to me speechless.
I swallow and nod.
He nods and goes on to further business.
But I hear none of it. The fire that is raging in my ears is more than my already shattered mind can take. I have no money, no wand nor anything that could thus make me important.
I don't understand. The conflicting emotions that well up in my chest are screaming at me to get a hold of myself. But I cannot. I'm about to turn into a spy for a man that could be the Minister of Magic himself. Why the Ministry would hide information from him.
Besides I was fired… right?
No you just left and never came back.
The meeting is over and I never heard another word of it. Only now the reasonable explanation is because I truly am as selfish and self- centered as the tear stricken Penelope once screamed at me.
I'm asked to stay in this room. Dreary and dusty. I cannot believe that I do not feel like cleaning it. I'm not even drunk. Cold stoned sober and yet I don't want to clean this room of its dust and decrepit drapings.
A knock on the door is loud to this rather spacious room.
Opening it I feel my body being crushed as the body forces its lips on mine. Tiptoeing so that it is leaning on me. The sound of eyeglasses clinking together is all I hear, before I stumble with the body into "my" room.
The heated sensation is only broken as I gasp and try to take of both of our glasses. His eyes full with the lust I have only ever seen in John's eyes. As though he is seeing more than a skinny body with bright red hair. More than seeing the slight of build body I have been given.
All I know is that his eyes at this point are driving me wild. I can still see him as I take of my glasses, being nearsighted I know that I will love the way that he feels the sensations that I am about to impose on him.
Down his neck with my hands on his shirt I lift it up. His own thin hands undoing the buttons of my borrowed shirt from Bill. I ravish his chest with small nips and nibbles. The moment that my teeth meet his nipple I hear a gasp that has me lifting him up and throwing him to the bed. I don't care if anyone can hear us, but apparently he does.
"Percy. Wait!" As I begin to undo his belt. A whoosh sound and he grabs his wand from his back pocket. Pointing it near me I can't help but flinch. Ignoring me he whispers a simple silencing charm.
As soon as he's done I take his wand and throw it near the place I threw our glasses. Catching his mouth in a heated kiss as he nearly shouts in anger.
With his pants gone I play with the cloth covering his organ. A gasp.
"Percy…" That is all he can say, I take of the cloth as well and grasp the exact thing that I've wanted to taste since the first time I touched him.
"No fair!" I am trying to put him in my mouth as he says this. Looking up at him in amusement I say silkily.
"What is that my fair beauty?" I'm genuinely curious. Aroused by his blush.
"I'm naked!" I smile and take my hand off of his organ. Taking my own antagonizing slow time with my pants. His panting and embarrassment is worth it. My hardened member almost dripping with desire.
I am forced to acknowledge the fact that I have the object of my desire in a bed waiting for me to take his innocence and I have not the correct formula of liquids in my body to do so.
Something in my face must've reflected my thoughts.
"Percy?" His blush is tantalizing. I want to ravish and pillage his body right there. I want to go inside him and feel the most intimate part of a person's anatomy.
"Get your wand." I recognize my voice as my old Head Boy's voice. Another day I might find the title entertaining.
He scrambles off the bed to do as I tell him. Taking his wand from his hand I point it at the table and whisper the only spell of lubrication I have ever learned. Not the best in the world I admit. Seeing as how I had to use it only when I messed up one of my potions assignments and made the water disappear, than reappear.
I know I should continue on with foreplay but I don't think that at this point I can. Besides the way that Harry is blushing at my organ and is visibly aroused, I don't think that it'll matter in a few moments.
Leaning over him to lie him back down on his back I kiss my lovely's face until he's kissing me back with just as much want.
I insert two fingers into his mouth.
"It might hurt more otherwise." I'm concerned. I really don't want to hurt him, but my body is not wanting to forgo this.
I insert the fingers into his opening. Moving them around until his eyes open and lock with mine. His pained breathing is hurting me. He touches my face in order to tell me that it doesn't hurt that badly.
I'm moving them around in order to make the opening bigger. The way that he closes his eyes and groans with a distinct sound of pleasure makes me sure that he's ready to be taken.
I put both his legs on either side of my waist. And my aroused pained organ takes over.
His scream would be loud enough to wake the dead. I slow down remembering my first time the way that my ex- lover slowed down and kissed me.
Wrapping my arms around his body I bring him up to me. Kissing his neck as he has his own arms around my neck. Head tipped back his breathing slows and he begins to rock on my lap.
I move in deeper. The deep throated groan that is mine is cut off as he clamps his mouth on mine. Biting my lip hard enough to taste the copper shared by our breathing.
I rock faster. Our desperate gasps mingling together. His sounds more of a pained pleasure that I remember distinctly as the best I have ever felt. I continue on going deeper until I begin to thrust hard. His own body acting to go against mine. His organ stabbing into my stomach as I hit his sensitive part. His screams of pleasure making me go faster and harder as I feel the soft sticky wetness that is his semen explode on both of us. I can see the stars and feel the moon quake as I groan and throw my head back at his gasp of "Percy."
Soon the few moments of ecstasy are done. I hold him in my arms feeling his pain as the soreness comes back anew. Reviewing the feeling of tightness around my own body as I was in him.
Why did he do this now?
I don't care.
Smiling I hold Harry tighter as he snuggles closer to my body. The damp and dirty sheets below us, is not bothering me. Feeling the contentment that comes only after intercourse, I fall asleep.
Waking up I feel the coldness of being both naked and alone. I'm a little disorientated for a second's breath. Than I remember with a quick sick feeling in my stomach of last night.
I notice that he cleaned. Though the smell of sex still lingers in my mind, I have to wonder whether he used one of Mother's cleaning spells or perhaps one of the schools.
Shaking my head I look around for my glasses. On the nightstand. Where he put them, and beside them there is a black rose.
Black rose?
Where would he get a black rose?
Going down for breakfast (or whatever considering I don't have a watch). There's only one Bill and Charlie in the room, looking as though they haven't slept.
I sit down.
"Oh, hey Perce. Mom and the rest of the gang left to see the kids off to another year at Hogwarts." Bill says cheerfully.
Ah, but of course. One night will satiate a child.
He's not a child.
Only a fool would feel as you do.
I fume as Charlie fills me in on the plans that Dumbledore has for me.
(REVIEW! I need some ideas of whether or not to place Percy into battle… or make Harry love him. Or make it into just a sordid affair between two opposing forces.X/1999--- drool)