A/N: This was a quick update. Four days! I warn you not to get used to that. Oh! And I meant to mention that Karleigh is a compilation of mine and my friends' personalities. She's not an actual person... but you can pretend she is if it makes you happy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or Scotch tape.

Thanks to my reviewers:

Princess-RainbowRose: Glad you thought it was funny. Karleigh and Seth? I don't know about that yet... but I do have a scene in mind where... well... you'll just have to wait. ;)

Mab, Queen of Faeire: Hey! Thanks for adding me. I never realized that it was funny. I just wondered how a suburbanite (me and my friends are) would really react to find someone in their room like that.

FitsofRage: I was surprised that no one else had done it. Thanks for reviewing!

sych77: As for David Bowie's eye color.. they're the same. I paused the tape on all the close ups and checked that. I just changed them for story purposes which if you read other fantasy fics should be pretty obvious, but they'll be revealed later. Your muse sounds... interesting. But biased. Sasquatches can write just as well as anyone else if they put their minds to it.

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Once again, I was completely devoid of ideas. Among other things, I couldn't find the door to the Labyrinth. This doesn't make sense, I thought. That thing was ten feet high. Where the hell could it have gone? This was not an optimistic start to my journey.

"Okay, checklist," I murmured to the universe in general. "Outer wall? Check." Yes, the wall was still there, and still very high. "Fairies? Check." I rubbed the place on my arm where one had bitten me earlier. I could see now why Hoggle had been killing them. "Bushes and vines? Check." Maybe I could use the plants to hoist myself over the wall?

Well, since I couldn't find the door, or Hoggle, that seemed to be my only option. Jareth had probably moved the door on purpose, just so I could look like an idiot trying to climb over that stupid wall. "Yeh yeh real funny GK," I muttered, grabbing a vine. "Absolutely hilarious."

At least the wall was old. There were plenty of holes to use as foot and handholds, and the vines helped me too. The bushes basically got in my way, though. "Stupid bush!" Oh, the universe had to hate me. Why the heck had I put shorts on that morning?

By the time I got halfway up the wall my legs were covered in shallow scratches. Jareth was probably laughing his head off. Panting, I pressed my forehead to the wall. "I have the horrible feeling," I announced to no one in particular, "that I am going to need every minute of those thirteen days." Angrily I banged my fist against the wall to punctuate the sentence.

Which turned out to be a mistake.

The wall gave an ominous creak and before I could dislodge myself it began to crumble. I shrieked and toppled forward with the broken stones. Old age had apparently worn this section out. Of course I had to pick that section to scale.

Instinctively I closed my eyes and waited for the rubble to settle. Eventually I could feel the coolness of the Labyrinth floor beneath me. At least I was inside.

However, the pain in my leg seemed to indicate that a rock was pinning me down. The smaller rocks and dust on my back allowed me to sit up, and when I looked down at my left leg, there was a large stone sitting on it. And it hurt. Once again I was reminded that this place was very real indeed, that it was not a hallucination. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I struggled to get free.

"Hoggle!" I cried helplessly. Shouldn't he be around here somewhere? "Hoggle, help!" Nothing stirred besides the stone I could lift off of me. "Somebody please help!" I yelled. There had to be someone out there who could help me. "This would be a really good time for Ludo to show up."

But of course he didn't, because the universe hated me.

For the next few minutes I just sat there, pushing as hard as I could at that rock, and occasionally screaming for help. What the heck had I gotten myself into? I should be at home, on my computer, talking to my friends, writing my story, and living a normal life.

I was starting to wonder if Seth was worth all of this. Yes, I'd discovered that he was real, but still, my leg could be broken. Was he worth getting a broken leg? The man routinely distracted me from my stories, homework, and chores.

He also had a habit of turning my alarm clock off when it was imperative that I wake up on time. That was really annoying. I'd had to put Scotch tape over the button so that he couldn't do it anymore. Seth always had short nails so he couldn't pry the tape off. But before I'd figured that out I'd nearly been late to school twice.

Come to think of it, he hit me with pillows a lot too. Why was I in here again? I should just let Jareth keep him, and turn him into a goblin.

But then I'd never be able to finish my story. "Hell," I muttered. Damn Seth for having a purpose!

"You ain't never gonna get through the Labyrinth at this rate," a voice said. Startled and relieved I turned my head to see a stumped dwarven figure.

"Hoggle!" I yelped. "Oh, you have no idea how good it is to see you!"

Hoggle didn't seem the least bit surprised that I knew his name. He tottered forward, jewels clinking together at his side. A brief flame of obsessed fandom erupted in my chest as I saw the plastic bracelet around his wrist. "Will you help me up?" I pleaded.

"Jareth's gonna be mighty angry when he finds out you busted his wall," Hoggle said.

I resisted the urge to scream. "Jareth can bite me," I muttered.

Hoggle paused beside the rock and looked at me. "I wouldn't be suggesting that to him," he warned. The blood drained out of my face. Disturbing mental image there. Hoggle turned his attention back to the rock. "Now," he said, "whats am I going to get for helpin you?"

This was something I should have foreseen. Unfortunately I find jewelry extremely annoying and don't wear any. The only thing I had was the pocket watch Jareth had given me, and I needed that. "I... I don't have anything," I stuttered.

Sniffing, Hoggle retorted, "Well then I don't see me helpin you. Jareth'd get furious."

I bit my tongue. There had to be something. I shifted slightly and felt around in my pockets. The pain in my leg was decreasing by the minute, it was going numb at last. Considering, though, that I knew nothing of medicine, that could've been a bad sign. Finally my hand clutched a penny. I pulled it out and held it out to Hoggle. He frowned at it. "What is that?"

Well, so it wasn't a new penny, and it was covered in that ugly grime coins get on them. But it could be cleaned! "It's all I have," I begged. "Please?" Hoggle continued frowning. For a second I felt my heart drop - but then I had an idea. It was insane and it probably wouldn't work, but it was an idea.

"What if we toss the coin?" I asked. "To see if you help me. Heads I win, tails you loose."

For a second Hoggle hesitated. "Seems fair enough," he said. "But no cheatin!"

I would've grinned if I wasn't still stunned he'd actually fallen for it. "Okay," I said, tossing the coin up. "Remember the terms," the coin fell back to the ground.

Hoggle bent over to check it. "Tails!" he yelled.

Now I grinned. "You loose," I said. "Now help me!"

Grumbling, Hoggle pushed at the rock. He managed to dislodge it and I could see the blood rushing back to my leg. I rubbed at it and stood up, still grinning like a maniac. Hoggle nodded and coughed. "Well, now that I'm done here," he said, turning to leave.

I grabbed his collar. "Oh no," I said. "You lost the bet. You have to help me."

Hoggle tried to continue walking. "I already helped you!" he yelped.

Therein lied the genius of my plan. "You pushed the rock off me. But we bet that you'd help me, and you lost. You aren't done until I don't need your help anymore."

Fuming, Hoggle looked suspiciously at me. "And when will that be?" he demanded.

I pulled the pocket watch out of my other pocket and flipped it open. "Twelve days, twenty three hours, two minutes, and ... three seconds from now. Or when I get my Muse back. Whichever comes first."

And with that, I had acquired my guide through the Labyrinth. There was a smirk on my face as Hoggle lead me down the path, still grumbling about human women.

Heads I win, tails you loose. It was the oldest trick in the book. Maybe I wouldn't need the full thirteen days after all.

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A/N: Whee! I love that trick. People have actually fallen for it, which is always great. Usually I do it just to see if they're actually paying attention, and give them whatever I won back. Otherwise that'd be mean. Okay, well, I will be going out of town for three (to four) days, so when I get back I expect reviews!