When Grissom woke up, Sara was curled into his chest, her soft even breaths telling him that she was still asleep. He carefully pulled away from her and quietly walked toward the door. Standing in the doorway, Grissom turned around to make sure she was still sleeping. Confident that he had successfully crept out of the room, Grissom headed for the kitchen.
Navigating through the cabinets, Grissom gathered the ingredients to make pancakes. I can cook her breakfast, that will make her happy. She'll probably see right through it and say she still doesn't forgive me, but I don't blame her. She needs food anyway. After carefully measuring all of the ingredients into the bowl and mixing them together, Grissom heated up a pan on the stove and started cooking the pancakes.
Pleased that he had cooked the pancakes the way that Sara liked them, Grissom piled a few pancakes onto a plate and added some raspberry jelly to the top. He poured a glass of orange juice and carried the glass and the plate of pancakes into the bedroom.
Grissom set the plate and glass on the side table and softly walked back out to the kitchen to retrieve his breakfast. He returned to the bedroom, set his own plate and glass on his side table, and slid into the bed next to Sara. With his weight shifting onto the bed, Sara stirred and turned over. "Don't leave Griss," Sara mumbled, obviously still within some cloud of sleep.
Grissom slid down in the bed so he could be closer to Sara's stomach. He carefully rested his head against it and strained to detect any sounds of the baby's heartbeat.
After a minute he heard it and relaxed. It's strange how seemingly odd things can be comforting. Grissom was distracted from his listening when Sara ran a hand through his hair. "It's amazing, isn't it?" Sara stated, her voice scratchy and tinged with sleep.
Grissom chose not to answer her, and he just pressed a light kiss to her stomach before sliding back up to the head of the bed. "I made breakfast," Grissom gestured to the plate on the side table.
Sara sat up in bed and reached for the plate. She rested it near the bottom of her ribcage and took a bite of one of the pancakes. "These are good Gil," Sara complimented after swallowing the bite.
"They are the ones that you like," Grissom answered, taking a bite of his own pancake.
They sat quietly eating their pancakes, savoring the sweetness of the raspberry jelly mixed with the texture of the fluffy pancakes. When Sara finished, she set her plate back on the side table and settled her hands across her stomach. Grissom set his plate on the side table and slid over next to Sara. She wrapped her arm around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder. "Sara, I know what I did was stupid," Grissom stated, admitting his error.
"I can honestly say I don't understand how you wouldn't notice that your hearing was giving you problems, but I realize that me screaming at you probably wasn't the best way to handle the situation," Sara answered, revealing her own faults.
"That wasn't what I was referring to," Grissom spoke, rubbing his hand up and down her back.
Sara stayed silent and waited for Grissom to elaborate. "I recall having a discussion with you about drinking for the wrong reasons," Grissom stated after a minute of contemplation.
"People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim," Sara recalled, "Ann Landers."
"Yeah. Believe me, I didn't feel any better when I woke up before, and I think I probably felt worse. I definitely shouldn't have even started," Grissom admitted.
"Gil, the last time this happened, you were alone. You're not alone anymore," Sara spoke, looking into his eyes to get her point across, "even if you lose your hearing, you are not going to lose me."
Sara brought her other arm around Grissom's stomach and hugged him tightly as if to prove that she wasn't going anywhere. Grissom kissed the top of her head and ran a hand down her side. It's not that simple, there are so many problems that could result from my hearing loss. Sara lifted her head up from Grissom's chest and realized that he was entranced by something on the opposite wall. "Gil, what's going through your mind?" Sara asked, reaching up to trail her fingers across his cheek.
"You know, it's quite ironic," Grissom said cryptically, still staring off into space.
"What's ironic?"
"Last time I went to Catherine, and this time you went to Catherine."
Sara dropped her hand from his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. "How did you know that?"
"I called her before when I woke up. When I didn't find you in the guestroom, I thought you had gone into work."
"Oh," Sara stated, "what did she tell you?"
"That if I wanted to know anything, you would have to tell me," Grissom replied, "why did you go over there anyway?"
"Initially? I was angry," Sara explained, "Catherine had said something odd while we were out shopping, and after our incident at home, I thought that you had confided in her about your hearing before you told me."
"Sara, I wouldn't have done that," Grissom reassured, taking her hand in his.
"I wasn't exactly acting rationally at that moment. I guess my underlying motivation for going over there was so I would have someone to talk to. I wouldn't exactly feel comfortable talking about this with one of the guys. I didn't feel like I could face you at that time. It hurt that you were keeping something from me."
"Sara," Grissom started, but Sara cut him off.
"Griss, you already gave an explanation, we're not going into that again."
"You don't believe me," Grissom realized, pulling away from her.
"Gil, I," Sara spoke, but Grissom interrupted.
"Stay where you are," Grissom instructed, "I'll be right back."
Grissom slid off of the bed and padded out into the living room. Sara took the chance to sit up in bed and dangle her feet over the edge. She propped two pillows up against the headboard and leaned into them with her left side. Grissom reentered the room a minute later and walked around the bed to sit next to her. "When you get a chance, I want you to take a look at this," Grissom stated, handing Sara a half inch binder.
"What's in it?" Sara asked, taking the binder from him.
"A lot of information about otosclerosis. It might help you to understand things more," Grissom explained.
Sara set the binder on a lower level of the side table and rested back against the pillows. "Gil, you had to have noticed that something wasn't right," Sara's thoughts drifted again, "why didn't you say something sooner?"
"Like I told you before, this is pretty much the end of the line. The more time that passes, the worse my hearing is going to get. A hearing aid will only work so long," Grissom spoke, a defeated tone in his voice.
Sara pushed away from the headboard and grasped Grissom's shoulder. "Gil, look at me," Sara demanded.
Grissom turned his head and saw his pain reflected in Sara's eyes. "Since when have you given up without a fight?" Sara asked, her eyes flashing.
Grissom reached out for her left shoulder and turned her toward him. "Sara, I've been trying to explain the facts to you," Grissom stated, looking into her eyes, "this can't be fixed this time, my options have run out."
Sara turned her head away and fought to contain her emotions. Grissom ran his hand up and down her back and pulled her to his chest. "I didn't think it had gotten this bad," Grissom spoke, his voice near a whisper, "I wasn't going to worry you over nothing."
"Gil, your hearing is something," Sara argued, her voice also very soft.
"I don't want to waste time on something I can't change. Right now the most important things are you and the baby," Grissom detailed, resting his hand on her protruding stomach.
"I can't just blow this off like you did," Sara stressed, "it feels like you're backing down without a fight."
"Sara, there isn't anything to fight, I've told you…" Grissom was about to continue, but Sara cut him off.
"Gil, I'll read the binder, maybe then I'll see what you're talking about. I don't have the energy to fight about this anymore," Sara resigned.
Grissom kissed the top of her head and held her for a bit longer. "How do you feel?" Grissom asked after their period of silence.
"Do you really want to know?" Sara mumbled.
"Sara," Grissom said with a warning tone.
"I'm fine Griss," Sara hedged, "I think I'm just going to lay down for a while."
"Sara, I'd like to know if you don't feel okay," Grissom insisted.
You want to know, but you can't let me know. Having argumentative thoughts isn't going to get me anywhere. Sara pulled away from Grissom so she could make eye contact with him. "I'm just tired and stressed, nothing new," Sara joked, "just let me lay down for a little while."
"Can I get you anything?" Grissom pushed.
"Griss, I just need to lay down," Sara overemphasized, "I need some time to decompress."
"Oh," Grissom stated, his voice trailing off.
Grissom took his arms off of Sara and placed them on his knees. "I'll be in the living room," Grissom stuttered, "if you need anything just…just call or something."
Grissom slowly got up from the bed and started to walk toward the door. "Griss," Sara called, causing him to turn around.
Sara put her hands behind her as if to push off of the bed, but Grissom's voice stopped her. "Stay there Sara," Grissom stated, walking back to her, "what is it?"
Sara tugged on his hand and got him to lean down to eye level. "What?" Grissom asked, his vivid blue eyes connecting with her chocolate brown ones.
Sara reached a hand up to cup his cheek, and she kissed the opposite one. She smiled against his skin and pulled away. "I'd give you a proper kiss, but my breath is probably a disaster," Sara provided.
Grissom returned the smile and stepped forward to kiss the top of her head. "Get some rest," Grissom instructed, squeezing her shoulders.
After retrieving their breakfast plates, Grissom turned around and walked out of the bedroom, leaving the door open a crack. Sara slid back under the covers and turned on the bedside light so the room would be slightly brighter. She grabbed the binder and got comfortable in bed. Turning to the first page, she started reading. Otoclerosis, What is it and How Can it be Treated?