Palm Trees and Power Lines
Chapter 8: What Happened to Us?
Summary: Sort-of future fic. Summer breaks Seth's heart and all he could think to do was leave… but will she find him again, and will he want her back if she does?
Rating: PG to PG-13… you never know.
Disclaimer: I own nada… not "The O.C." or the actors… nor do I own any song that will appear in this fic…
A/N: I'm gonna keep this one short…muchas gracias for the reviews… they were great… uhh this chapter is another Hoobastank song, What Happened to Us? … and this might be my last chapter for a while… but who knows, maybe I'll get one or…heck, even two more in… the hiatus of the show has driven me to partial insanity… so who knows…I've been in a writing mood lately… okay yeah, on to the chapter!! Review por favor!! Gracias! oh, and FYI, the whole Theresa pregnant thing…Ryan leaving thing didn't happen… it just doesn't fit with my story right now
I thought it was too good to be true
I found somebody who understands me
Someone who would help me to get through
And fill and emptiness I had inside me
"S-Summer?" Seth stuttered into the phone. He couldn't believe he was actually talking to her. For the past month he had been avoiding her, and now here he was, in the hospital, talking to her. "W-why are you calling me?"
Joel looked up at the name. He knew Seth was still in love with the girl… he also knew he always would be in love with her. It was beyond him why he didn't just call and make up.
"I'm gonna leave you alone, man," Joel whispered and headed out the door and down to the lobby to search for some vending machines.
"Seth, we need to talk," he heard Summer say, on the other end. "But first of all, are you okay? Your friend Joel called and told your dad everything."
At this point, Seth was too caught up in talking to her to realize how mad he had been. It was either that or he was too high on all the drugs. But it didn't matter. What mattered is that she was worried about him, and that she called to see if he was okay. Maybe she did love him…
"Seth? Seth, are you there?" Summer's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Seth?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Thanks for asking," he replied. "How are you holding up?"
"Not so good," she didn't want to tell him exactly how bad she was doing. But she figured it would come out eventually.
"What do you mean? Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" Seth's worry kicked in. Damn it. He thought. I'm not supposed to be this worried about her. She cheated on me! And with my BROTHER for God's sake! But no matter how hard he tried…he couldn't just not care.
Summer lowered her voice to a barely audible whisper. "You did."
But you kept inside and I just denied
Some things that we should have both said
I knew it was too good to be true
Cause I'm the only one who understands me
"Oh," was all Seth could say. He wanted to say: just like you hurt me? Or the same way you hurt me? Or even: and you don't think what you did hurt me? That's why I'm in this Goddamned hospital! But he couldn't. "But physically you're okay…right?"
"Speaking of that… I just thought you might want to know I'm in a hospital right now. Just like you are. But unlike your little slip, mine was deliberate," she replied.
"What?" Panic surged through Seth's body. Was she going to be okay? What if he never got to see her again? What if he never got to say that he loved her again? Wait… loved her? No, he couldn't. He hated her. He hated her for what she did to him…to his family… to everything… didn't he? "Who did it? God if I find that person I'll-"
"No Seth," she interrupted, lowering her voice again. "I did it. I did it for you."
Seth's whole world seemed to be crumbling before his very eyes. Summer tried to kill herself because of him. The love of his life…the only girl he ever felt this way for- wait…again with the love? Seth, stop it! You don't love her anymore! He said to himself, but it still wasn't working. Before he could reply though, she continued.
"Before you get all worked up, I want you to know I was extremely drunk when I did it," she said, starting to feel uncomfortable talking about her attempt at suicide. "This is kind of weird for me to be talking about, but I guess you have the right to know. Okay… remember earlier… when you called? It was like 11 here… so like, three or something there. Well, I was totally smashed, and your call just made it so much worse. So I took an entire bottle of my step-mom's pain killers. Yeah, I know a page from the book of Marissa. But it's the only thing I could think to do."
"So…it's my fault," he replied in shock, but more to himself than Summer. Until now he had forgotten about the call he made. He still didn't remember exactly what he said, but he could hear Summer's cries. "God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I'm so sorry. Are you going to be okay? Please Summer… I'm so sorry. I never should have called. I was drunk too. That's all I ever am anymore… drunk or hung over. I'm sorry…please…I'm sorry."
"I'm fine, Seth," she told him, shocked at how nice he was being. "But that's not why I called. I called to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry about sleeping with Ryan. I didn't know what else to do… It was my way of trying to get over you before you broke up with me. I knew you would when you got accepted to some Ivy League school. I didn't think you could ever actually love me. I'm just some spoiled rich girl. So I went to Ryan. At first I only wanted to talk… but then I just… I… I don't know." Summer hung her head, even though she knew he couldn't see her.
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I lose my only…
Now Seth's memory and his anger were kicking back in. "So you slept with him? So you could get over me? Gee, maybe next time you could just pull a Luke and sleep with my dad!"
"Seth…I'm sorry! I love you! I was scared," she defended herself weakly.
"You love me. Right…and people who love each other sleep with other people. That makes total sense," Seth fired. "God why am I even talking to you? Look what you did! Look what happened to us! Because you couldn't trust me, you went and hooked up with my brother, who also happened to be my best friend. Now we're both in hospitals because of each other!"
"Wait, I thought you fell," Summer queried.
"I did," he replied solemnly. "Because I was drunk. I've gotten drunk every day since I came to Philly so I could forget about you. But it didn't work. God Summer… nothing works to forget you! I've been trying since third grade! At first it was a crush… and then you returned my feelings… and it turned into love. I love you… so much, Summer….so much. But you ruined that! Now I can barely talk to you! Maybe…maybe you should just go."
"God…what happened to us?" she asked. "We used to be so in love. I remember when you would sneak out of our house, the summer after junior year, when you got grounded for crashing the Range Rover…again…and you'd fall asleep at my house. Then your parents would call the next day, yell at you for hours, and ground you even longer. But you still kept doing it. I think you're still grounded from that." Summer laughed at the memory, but continued. "I also remember this past year when you decided to send me a rose every day until Valentines Day so I would have more than a dozen by the time it rolled around. Then that night…on the beach. With the candlelit picnic, and rose petals spread all over the blanket…and what we did afterwards…"
"That was a good night," Seth remembered, but quickly shook his head, as if to remove the memory. "But that's not us anymore, Summer! What happened to us? What happened to us? Summer, you happened! You didn't trust in our love…so you cheated on me. That's what happened. So you know what? I don't give a damn about our past, our love, our memories, or you. You ruined that, and I never want to talk to you again!"
Remember they thought we were too young
To really know what it takes to make it
But we had survived off what we have done
So we could show them all they they're mistaken
Seth slammed the phone down, tears streaming from his eyes. He did care about their past, their love, their memories, and most of all he cared about her. That's all he ever thought about when he wasn't drunk. That's why he was so drunk all of the time. But that really wasn't true. Even when he was drunk, his subconscious was still leading him to Summer. Girls would practically throw themselves at him, and he never even touched one of them. He'd find some reason to get away, and never come back to them.
It was true, he loved Summer. He loved Summer with his entire heart. But she broke his trust… and he didn't know if he could forgive that…
But who could have known
The lies that would grow
Until we could see right through them
Remember they knew we were too young
We still don't know what it takes to make it
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I lose my only one?
We could've made it work
We could've found a way
We should have done our best
To see another day
Summer placed the phone back on the receiver, as tears burst from her eyes. She broke down in convulsive sobs onto her bed, letting every tear she never cried find their way down her cheeks. The tears she refused to waste on Seth Cohen just last year were falling in rapid waterfalls. The tears she refused to waste on her father who didn't care, her mother who left, and her friends who really didn't know her were falling now. Every tear fell. The ones that she never cried when she fell and skinned her knee as a child, the tears she never cried when Seth left to see Anna the first time and didn't take her, the tears she never cried when she got hit in the head with a softball in gym class, the tears she never cried when Marissa almost died…multiple times, the tears she never cried when Seth broke her heart for the first time…they were all surfacing now. For her entire life, she held every tear in, and now was when they were finally coming out. Sure, she had cried recently over Seth…but not like this. No, they were just "pity me" cries…Lord knows she missed him, but it was different now. Now she knew how much he really hated what she did. Now she knew…
"Sweetie?" she heard the soft voice of Kirsten call. "Can I come in?"
"Y-yes," Summer managed to get out as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. It didn't work.
"Oh my God, honey," Kirsten's motherly instincts kicked in as she hurried over and embraced the young girl in a warm, loving hug. "What happened?"
"He-he-he ha-hates me-e-e-," she cried into her shoulder. "Seth hates me."
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you, sweetie," Kirsten consoled, rubbing her back. "You talked to him?
"Yes," she replied, gathering herself, and pulling away. "Yes, he's fine. Fine enough to tell me how much he despises what I did…how much he hates me and Ryan… and how much he doesn't care about me."
"Summer, you can't believe that," Kirsten said. "You know how much he loves you. Just give him time. He'll remember and come home."
"No, no Mrs. Cohen, you didn't hear the way he talked. I've never heard him like that before," she explained. "It scared me… and hurt me. It was just… so horrible."
"Honey, just give him time. I know my son," she told her, "and I know how much he loves you."
"I hope you're right," Summer stated. "I love him so much."
"I know," Kirsten replied, hugging the young girl one last time. "Are you better now?"
"Yeah…yeah, I don't know what came over me," she shook it off, pretending like she was okay when in actuality she wasn't. She wouldn't be okay until she was back in Seth's arms…or at least the same state. "You go. Go home and get some rest. Thank you so much for staying here all night."
"It was no problem," Kirsten told her. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah! Go, home, sleep," Summer shooed her out of the room. There was still a lot more that had to be done.
But we kept it all inside
Until it was too late
And now we're both alone
The consequence we made
For throwin' it all away
For throwin' it all away
What happened to us?
We used to be so perfect
Now we're lost and lonely
What happened to us?
And deep inside I wonder
Did I lose my only…
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
What happened to us?
A/N : I promise… happy times to come… eventually… yeah you might have to wait until chapter 11… or 12… but eventually! I mean, what's the fun in fluff?? Fluff is good, but it makes a short story!! Okay, yeah, review please!!!