A/N: Again, there are a few Simpson's quotes in here. Hope you liked the
last chapter and I'll put the next one up soon. This one I think is a
little shorter than the previous, but not by much. I wrote this all in one
sitting so I'm not sure how funny it is to you. Guess I'll have to wait and
see.
Disclaimer: Maybe I don't, maybe I do. Maybe the latter is considered plagiarism, who knows? And more to the point, who cares? If you did, then you wouldn't be on fanfic anyway. If you do, then you're pretty much considered a third party in the crime. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the latter is in every way correct. The latter IS in every way correct. Lol.
Chapter Two-
The Bible, Levitation and poultry products
After re-arranging his attire, Ron ushered himself out of his dormitory and proceeded to advance on the girl's staircase. He reached for his wand in his top pocket and pointed it at himself.
"Wingardrium Leviousa"
Ron twirled slightly on an angle as he hovered toward his destination.
"...And remember, we are always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom"
He found it quiet hilarious that the spell Hermonie had insisting on helping him learn in the 1st year was the very same spell he was using to get into her dormitory, which, predictably, Hermonie would detest.
His feet touched down at the alcove outside the 6th year girl's dormitory and he gave a deep sigh of relief. He hadn't really thought that part through. Ron, with his typical male mind, had presumed that everything would somehow fall into place and turn out to work in his favor. Despite how obviously testosterone based and naïve that statement was, it was more often than that true.
This was as far as Ron had actually gotten before, so he wasn't entirely sure whether he'd passed through the worst of it yet. He was now deciding on the likely hood of being caught.
"Hmmmmm" Ronald thought.
"Yey, or nay?" He questioned.
"Potential detention or.potential detention."
"Detention with McGonagal or detention with potions teacher who set you homework on rectum boils?" Alarmed at what possible punishment was being implied by his sub-conscious concerning his potions teacher, Ron immediately choose
"Nay".
Despite the age of the wooden door it made no sound to suggest that someone was intruding. Ron was quiet pleased about this, he certainly did not want to wake either Lavender or Parvati.
"God knows what they would make it out to be".
Hermonie's roommates had their little "theories" about the two of them, which, they made no attempt to conceal or even make the slightest bit subtle. Ron didn't really mind. Though he would never actually let Hermonie know this, no, that would be the practical thing to do.
Ron made quiet, long steps towards Hermonie's four-poster and drew the curtain around it with a quick swish.
He knelt on her bed beside her, gazed down at Hermonie sleeping peacefully and couldn't help feeling guilty about needing to wake her up. This thought quickly left his mind as he picked up the spare pillow on the end of her bed and began to smother her with it.
" What-"
"Morning Monie" Ron said cheerily as he pushed the pillow into her face again, knocking her flat on her back.
"Ron-what-are-"
Smothered again.
"What's-the-"
And again.
"How'd-you-get-in" Ron stopped smothering her and leant back on his heels.
"I used a little spell to my advantage"
"What spell-"
Smothered again.
"Ron!"
"Shhhhh!" Ron hissed.
Hermonie stepped outside the drawn curtain and said in an agitated tone "Silencio" and stepped back into the curtains and landed with a thump back on her four-poster.
"What spell did you use?"
"Wingardrium Leviousa"
"Ron you're breaking school rules and-"
"Yeah, but never mind that. I need to borrow you essay for potions.
Ron immediately recognized Hermonie's facial expression as one of extreme annoyance. Ron suspected PMS.
"No Ron, last time was the LAST time. You've had all week to do it-"
Ron took this as an invitation to smother Hermonie with her pillow again and did so. He then released her with much reluctance.
"All I'm hearing is blah blah blah I'm going to give Ron my potions homework."
"Ron, you can't expect me to-"
"Am I turning you on?"
"Don't change the subject Ron. Your not-"
"What if I undo this button?" Hermonie lifted her pillow threateningly.
"Ron-"
"What if I talk like this?"
"What if you take your sexual advances and stick them up your-"
"What if I sing to you? I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones.mmmm chicken."
"Ron! Stop singing! Stop fantasizing about chicken and other poultry products!"
"Please Hermonie, I need that homework. I really need that homework. I really really really need that homework. I really really really really-"
"Oh bloody hell! Go on, take it! It's in my third draw."
"Thank you Hermonie."
Ron gathered Hermonie's things and stood up to go to the library and re- word her essay for himself. Ron could hardly believe his luck. He leant across and gave Hermonie a quick peck on the cheek and left the room in a hurry, a number of people would be getting up soon, and knew how that would look.
Ron walked along the hall out of the girl's dormitory and flipped through Hermonie's essay. He wasn't really thinking about the essay, understandably he was wondering why he had kissed Hermonie. He, however didn't really get to ponder this thought for much longer, according to the ear piercing screaming, he had just absent-mindedly walked onto the girl's staircase. Ron lost his balance and slid down the "super fun happy slide" with little to no enthusiasm, quickly picked himself up, sat himself down on the chair nearest the fire and tired to look as innocent as possible. Ron picked up a book on the top of the pile next to the chair and flipped it open as to appear deep in reading when the common room flooded with people.
A few 4th year girls stared at Ron with suspicious eyes. Ron, in a pathetic attempt to appear as innocent as possible said:
"Gee, time sure flies when your reading the," Ron turned the book over "Bible!"
Many eyes were rolled in his direction. Luckily for Ron the attention was taken off him by a group of 1st year boys who had just exited their dorm.
A gasp could be heard from one of the boys. "SUPER FUN HAPPY SLIDE!" The completely stereotypical middle class white English boy shouted with enthusiasm as he bounded toward his beloved slippery dip.
The 1st years were apparently quiet territorial and began viciously growling at one another. The boy who had discovered the "super fun happy slide" first was apparently the alpha male of the hormonal lacking group and began to hiss wildly at his potential opponents.
Ron saw this as a perfect opportunity to slip out the portrait hole and did so. He glanced down at his watch and read 7:35am. He then quickly set off to he library.
A/N: Third chapter will either be up this week or early next week.
Disclaimer: Maybe I don't, maybe I do. Maybe the latter is considered plagiarism, who knows? And more to the point, who cares? If you did, then you wouldn't be on fanfic anyway. If you do, then you're pretty much considered a third party in the crime. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the latter is in every way correct. The latter IS in every way correct. Lol.
Chapter Two-
The Bible, Levitation and poultry products
After re-arranging his attire, Ron ushered himself out of his dormitory and proceeded to advance on the girl's staircase. He reached for his wand in his top pocket and pointed it at himself.
"Wingardrium Leviousa"
Ron twirled slightly on an angle as he hovered toward his destination.
"...And remember, we are always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom"
He found it quiet hilarious that the spell Hermonie had insisting on helping him learn in the 1st year was the very same spell he was using to get into her dormitory, which, predictably, Hermonie would detest.
His feet touched down at the alcove outside the 6th year girl's dormitory and he gave a deep sigh of relief. He hadn't really thought that part through. Ron, with his typical male mind, had presumed that everything would somehow fall into place and turn out to work in his favor. Despite how obviously testosterone based and naïve that statement was, it was more often than that true.
This was as far as Ron had actually gotten before, so he wasn't entirely sure whether he'd passed through the worst of it yet. He was now deciding on the likely hood of being caught.
"Hmmmmm" Ronald thought.
"Yey, or nay?" He questioned.
"Potential detention or.potential detention."
"Detention with McGonagal or detention with potions teacher who set you homework on rectum boils?" Alarmed at what possible punishment was being implied by his sub-conscious concerning his potions teacher, Ron immediately choose
"Nay".
Despite the age of the wooden door it made no sound to suggest that someone was intruding. Ron was quiet pleased about this, he certainly did not want to wake either Lavender or Parvati.
"God knows what they would make it out to be".
Hermonie's roommates had their little "theories" about the two of them, which, they made no attempt to conceal or even make the slightest bit subtle. Ron didn't really mind. Though he would never actually let Hermonie know this, no, that would be the practical thing to do.
Ron made quiet, long steps towards Hermonie's four-poster and drew the curtain around it with a quick swish.
He knelt on her bed beside her, gazed down at Hermonie sleeping peacefully and couldn't help feeling guilty about needing to wake her up. This thought quickly left his mind as he picked up the spare pillow on the end of her bed and began to smother her with it.
" What-"
"Morning Monie" Ron said cheerily as he pushed the pillow into her face again, knocking her flat on her back.
"Ron-what-are-"
Smothered again.
"What's-the-"
And again.
"How'd-you-get-in" Ron stopped smothering her and leant back on his heels.
"I used a little spell to my advantage"
"What spell-"
Smothered again.
"Ron!"
"Shhhhh!" Ron hissed.
Hermonie stepped outside the drawn curtain and said in an agitated tone "Silencio" and stepped back into the curtains and landed with a thump back on her four-poster.
"What spell did you use?"
"Wingardrium Leviousa"
"Ron you're breaking school rules and-"
"Yeah, but never mind that. I need to borrow you essay for potions.
Ron immediately recognized Hermonie's facial expression as one of extreme annoyance. Ron suspected PMS.
"No Ron, last time was the LAST time. You've had all week to do it-"
Ron took this as an invitation to smother Hermonie with her pillow again and did so. He then released her with much reluctance.
"All I'm hearing is blah blah blah I'm going to give Ron my potions homework."
"Ron, you can't expect me to-"
"Am I turning you on?"
"Don't change the subject Ron. Your not-"
"What if I undo this button?" Hermonie lifted her pillow threateningly.
"Ron-"
"What if I talk like this?"
"What if you take your sexual advances and stick them up your-"
"What if I sing to you? I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones.mmmm chicken."
"Ron! Stop singing! Stop fantasizing about chicken and other poultry products!"
"Please Hermonie, I need that homework. I really need that homework. I really really really need that homework. I really really really really-"
"Oh bloody hell! Go on, take it! It's in my third draw."
"Thank you Hermonie."
Ron gathered Hermonie's things and stood up to go to the library and re- word her essay for himself. Ron could hardly believe his luck. He leant across and gave Hermonie a quick peck on the cheek and left the room in a hurry, a number of people would be getting up soon, and knew how that would look.
Ron walked along the hall out of the girl's dormitory and flipped through Hermonie's essay. He wasn't really thinking about the essay, understandably he was wondering why he had kissed Hermonie. He, however didn't really get to ponder this thought for much longer, according to the ear piercing screaming, he had just absent-mindedly walked onto the girl's staircase. Ron lost his balance and slid down the "super fun happy slide" with little to no enthusiasm, quickly picked himself up, sat himself down on the chair nearest the fire and tired to look as innocent as possible. Ron picked up a book on the top of the pile next to the chair and flipped it open as to appear deep in reading when the common room flooded with people.
A few 4th year girls stared at Ron with suspicious eyes. Ron, in a pathetic attempt to appear as innocent as possible said:
"Gee, time sure flies when your reading the," Ron turned the book over "Bible!"
Many eyes were rolled in his direction. Luckily for Ron the attention was taken off him by a group of 1st year boys who had just exited their dorm.
A gasp could be heard from one of the boys. "SUPER FUN HAPPY SLIDE!" The completely stereotypical middle class white English boy shouted with enthusiasm as he bounded toward his beloved slippery dip.
The 1st years were apparently quiet territorial and began viciously growling at one another. The boy who had discovered the "super fun happy slide" first was apparently the alpha male of the hormonal lacking group and began to hiss wildly at his potential opponents.
Ron saw this as a perfect opportunity to slip out the portrait hole and did so. He glanced down at his watch and read 7:35am. He then quickly set off to he library.
A/N: Third chapter will either be up this week or early next week.