This fic is just proof of how evil I can be sometimes… Tragedy strikes the demolition boys, leaving Bryan to start his life over. And everyone's favourite neko-jin has to help him!
"I'm not...giving up!" Yelled Kai as he fell to his knees. He fought for breath as Brooklyn towered over him, smirking.
"You can't resist, Kai! You can't win!"
"No...I won't...lose…"
"You will. Just give up Kai. We both know you can't last any longer!"
"Tyson, we have to stop them! Kai'll die if he keeps this up!" Tyson hesitated.
"But..."
Rei stepped forwards, looking anxious. "Tyson, I agree with Max. We have to stop him!" A roar from the crowd heralded Kai falling to the floor. Brooklyn folded his arms and smiled cruelly as Rei and Tyson ran to Kai, turning him over gently. "Kai? Kai!"
Rei pressed his fingers to Kai's neck, praying for a pulse. He dug his fingers deeper, frantic. "T-there's no pulse...he-he's...no. No, you can't die, Kai!" He opened Kai's mouth and held his nose, breathing into his mouth. Kai didn't respond, only lolled on the floor. Rei tried again, but nothing happened. "He's...he's...d-dead!"
"You've killed him...you've fucking KILLED him!" Gasped Tyson, pointing at Brooklyn accusingly. Brooklyn opened his mouth to reply, but a flash of red and white crashed into him, dragging him to the floor. It slowed down enough to be recognized as Tala, who was smashing his fists into Brooklyn's face and chest, raining blows on him.
"You fucking bastard! You gutless, spineless, little SHIT!" He howled. Brooklyn screamed as Tala hit him harder. Bryan appeared, dragging Tala away. Tala was hysterical, lashing out with his fists and feet, struggling like a mad thing. "I'LL KILL YOU!" He raged, breaking free and hurling himself at Brooklyn again. Brooklyn cowered, covering his head as Tala hit every inch of Brooklyn's body he could find.
Bryan grabbed him again, and wrestled him to the floor, helped by Spencer. Tala writhed, fuming and screaming, crying desperately. "I'll kill him! I'll kill that little shit! He dies! I'll kill him! LET ME GO!" Everyone's eyes were fixed on him as he tried to get at Brooklyn. Brooklyn shivered on the floor, blood running from his nose. "I didn't mean to...I didn't mean to kill him...I didn't..."
"Just go Brooklyn. Get out." Tyson's voice was unusually cold. Brooklyn obeyed, staggering to his feet and running out of the stadium.
Tala was still insane with rage, clawing at the ground. "Let me go...let me go to him...Kai..." Bryan let him go and he crawled over to Kai, shoving Rei out of the way and collapsing onto Kai's chest, sobbing brokenly. Everyone was watching him uncomfortably, even the spectators as they were directed out of the stadium. Bryan knelt down next to Tala and stroked his hair. "I'll kill him...how dare he take Kai away from me? I never told him...never held him..." Tala clutched at Kai desperately. "I'll kill him...I'll kill him..."
"Tyson, I just heard!" Every one turned to the door as Hilary ran in, looking worried. "Is he really?"
Tyson nodded, unable to say it out loud. Hilary came over to Kai, and knelt down beside him. Then she made a fatal mistake. She tried to push Tala away from Kai. He exploded up in a haze of fury. "GO AWAY!"
"Tala...no, Tala, stop it. You know they were together..." Bryan held Tala back, but Tala wasn't having any of it. He pushed Bryan away savagely and collapsed back to the floor, covering Kai with his body, like a wild wolf. "You never loved him." His voice was accusing. "You toyed with him as if he was your plaything!"
"How can you say that!" Hilary gasped.
"You didn't love him! You didn't know him! You played with his heart and took his pride from him!" He buried his face into Kai's shirt. "My phoenix...my proud little phoenix...I love you..."
Hilary just knelt there, gaping, not denying any of Tala's accusations. She had liked Kai, yes, but he was just a boyfriend. They had both agreed to keep it casual. It wasn't as if they were getting married or anything...
Tyson pulled Hilary up off the floor, treating her gently. She looked again into Tala's glaring eyes and quailed, bursting into tears. Tyson held her tightly, trying to be comforting. Bryan knelt next to Tala and lifted him up. Tala lay limp in his arms, sobbing weakly, not resisting as Bryan carried him away, sitting him on a chair. He collapsed against Bryan, drained of everything.
Hilary broke away from Tyson, kneeling down next to Kai again and stroking his lifeless, cold cheek. She had expected it to hurt more...but all she felt was numbness. "He's dead..." She took a deep breath and stood up. Her eyes met Tala's and she turned away.
"You disgust me..." He hissed. Bryan clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Tala, I know it hurts, I know. But you can't say things like that. Let people deal with it in their own way..."
Tala bit his hand and writhed away, standing up and going back to Kai. Bryan followed him, restraining him before he reached Kai. "Tala. Stop it. Stop it now. I know it hurts. But you have to stop this. Let him lie."
"I never told him..."
"Shhh, Tala. Shh." Bryan rocked Tala like a child, picking him up as if he weighed nothing, carrying him back to the chairs.
"Boys?" Mr Dickinson came in, looking distraught. "I came as soon as I could." His eyes found Kai's body and tears filled his eyes. "Such a waste..." He shook his head. "The police are going to investigate. They said they need to, um..."
"Need to what?" Asked Max, suspicious.
"They'll need to run tests on the body..."
"No..." Tala said weakly. "You rob him of his life and his pride, and now you want his dignity as well? He would be better off if he'd never met any of you! He might still be alive!"
"He doesn't mean it." Said Bryan, holding Tala close.
"I fucking do!" Spat Tala. He rose up again, eyes flashing. "Where's Brooklyn?" Bryan clamped him back to the chair.
"Tala. If you don't stop this right now I'm going to floor you. Stop it. Stop it -now!"
Tala looked at him for a second, and then burst out crying again. Bryan held him close, rubbing his back comfortingly. He glared at the others as they stared, and they all looked away, suddenly embarrassed. Hilary was still crying, from a mix of sadness at Kai's death and fear at Tala's anger. The others, Max, Kenny, Tyson and Rei, simply stood, unable to comprehend the loss.
Tala had to be sat on to stop him savaging the police when they came to remove the body. He screamed, one long, heart-breaking note, and then lay still. "Kill me. If you're my friend, Bryan, kill me." He choked. Bryan picked him up and sat him on his knee, cradling Tala to his chest.
"No. You know I couldn't do that Tala."
"Tala...I know it hurts, but..." Tala looked up at Tyson, and the haunted, tortured look in the Russian's eyes made him fall silent.
"Have you ever been in love Tyson?" He whispered. "Have you ever watched the person you love...loving someone else? Have you ever cried at night, because all you want to do is hold them...but you know inside that you can't? Don't try and understand..." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "...what you've never felt before..."
Mr. Dickinson came over after talking to the officer in charge. "Maybe it would be for the best if you all went back to your hotel...? And Hilary, I've called your mother. She's in town, so I thought it would be better...so...um...I'll organise some taxis to take you back, and-"
Rei suddenly turned. "I can't. I-I...his stuff's still there...I..." He shook his head. "No."
Bryan stood up, carrying Tala. "You can come and stay with us, if you need to. Spencer and Ian're on holiday." He shifted Tala in his arms and started walking towards the door.
"Bryan?" Bryan turned, eyebrows raised. "Did you mean that?" Rei looked almost pleading. Bryan nodded.
"It's not far. Or would you prefer to go by car?"
Mr. Dickinson flapped. "Take my limousine, boys. I'll sort everything out, don't worry!" Tala raised his head.
"Can you bring him back to life?" He asked bitterly. Bryan hushed him, stroking his hair again, and the remaining Bladebreakers followed him out into the car park, where the long black limo was waiting. Black...it was such an inappropriate colour. They piled in, with Bryan giving quiet directions to the driver. Before long they ended up in front of a house. It was quite large, but then it was for all four of the demolition boys to share...
Bryan let them in and started walking up the stairs. "Do what you like, but don't wreck anything. Or you die." His eyes were cold as he said this, and he turned away, taking Tala upstairs. Rei shivered and turned to the others. "Being here only makes me wonder how little we really knew about Kai..."
Tyson nodded, and they all went into the living room. There was an empty vodka bottle on the table, and an old pizza box beside it. Magazines and books littered the floor, and there was a jacket slung carelessly over the back of a chair. It was all so normal...and yet the situation was not. Max and Kenny sat down gingerly, and Tyson sat at their feet. Rei joined him and they sat in silence, the weight of Kai's departure stilling their tongues.
"Do any of you want something to eat?" Bryan walked in, surveying them sympathetically. For once, not even Tyson could face food. "A drink then?" He was answered with shaken heads, and Bryan shook his sadly in return. "There's Spencer's room, Ian's room, and the spare room. And one of you can borrow mine for tonight. I don't trust Tala enough to leave him on his own..." He jerked his head and the Bladebreakers got up, following him upstairs. He surveyed them critically, then pointed at Rei. "You can have my room. You look the least likely to wreck it..." He pointed at one of the dark-wooded doors along the landing. "That's mine, then that's the spare room. That's Spencer's, and Ian's. Sort it out between yourselves. If you get hungry, the kitchen isn't too hard to find." He turned away for about the hundredth time, disappearing into what could only be Tala's room.
Rei sighed. "I'm going to try and get some sleep, guys..." He pushed open the door Bryan had pointed to and went inside. The room he was in was large, white and blue. He sat down on the bed, looking around.
Bryan was obviously a tidy, ordered kind of person; the books on the shelves were all stacked neatly, and everything on the desk was laid out with utter precision. Kai had been like that. Obsessively tidy. Rei supposed it was something to do with the abbey.
He crossed his legs and closed his eyes, focusing his mind on Kai. Now that he thought about it, Kai would never have wanted to go any other way. The image of Kai in his mind blurred, and reformed into Tala. Tala...
Rei had been surprised when Tala had said he loved Kai, but as he considered it, it made sense. Tala had shared the worst times of his life with Kai, and that had almost definitely made them closer. Rei's thoughts turned to Bryan. It was obvious that he had deep feelings for Tala. He must be feeling so hurt...
As Rei thought about this, the door opened. He opened his eyes and looked straight into Bryan's. "Is Tala okay?"
"No." Bryan sighed heavily, and Rei felt for him. Bryan's pain was evident, in the way he stood, the way he stared aimlessly when he wasn't talking, and in the savagely bitten nails on the hand that shook as it pushed back his hair.
"Can I help?" Rei stood up, reaching out and taking hold of Bryan's arms just above the elbow.
"Don't..." Bryan pulled away, stepping back. A tear rolled down his cheek, and Rei stood, feeling slightly helpless.
"Bryan..."
"I'm sorry, I...even if he doesn't feel anything for me...he needs someone..." Rei nodded and sat down again, knowing that he couldn't deal with Bryan when he was like this. He closed his eyes again, then felt Bryan sit down next to him. "He's just...lying there..." Rei nodded again. "I want to help him...but there's nothing I can do..." Another nod. "It hurts so much..." Bryan took a deep breath. "But I can't burden him with this...not now..."
Rei searched his mind for a way to help Bryan. "Why don't you just close your eyes and think about it?"
"Is that what you do?" Rei nodded. "Does it work?"
"Why don't you try it?"
Bryan shifted, sat silently for a minute or so, then stood up. Without an explanation, he walked out.
"Tala?" Tala glanced up, and then back down.
"What, Bryan?"
Bryan sat down, laying a hand on Tala's back. "Tala...do you want to talk about it?"
"Bryan...it hurts...it hurts so much...I don't want to think about it...I don't want to talk about it...knowing that I was too much of a coward to ever tell him...and now..." Tala's voice cracked. "He'll never know." He started crying again, pressing his face into the pillow as if he was trying to suffocate himself. Bryan stroked his hair gently, wanting desperately to take Tala in his arms and kiss him, and tell him how much he loved him.
"What I said to Tyson...made it feel so much worse...all I could do was remember seeing him with Hilary...can you imagine how much that hurt?" Bryan wanted to say yes, but forced himself to stay silent. Tala's sobs redoubled and he dragged himself up, collapsing against Bryan. Bryan held him as if he were about to explode, stroking his hair. "Tala..."
"Don't tell me it's okay. Because it's not...it never will be..."
"No, Tala, things'll get better..." Tala laughed bitterly.
"They won't."
"Tala?" Bryan came into the sitting room, holding a steaming mug. He pressed it into Tala's hands and stood back, hoping desperately that Tala would drink some. He hadn't eaten anything in two days, and he'd only drunk the barest of sips of water. He was getting thinner, and paler, and there were dark circles under his eyes, which were bloodshot and half-closed. The bladebreakers watched as Bryan did, all silently praying for something to happen.
Tala looked up at them all, then stood up. He put the coffee on the table and walked out. Bryan watched him go, then sat down on the sofa, holding his head in his hands. He took a few deep breaths, then stood up. "I'm not going to let him do this to himself!" He stormed up after Tala, wrenching open the door of Tala's room. He stopped short at the sight that met his eyes.
"No!"
Rei stood up abruptly, followed by the others. They followed Bryan's cry and found Bryan kneeling beside the bed. They edged closer, and saw Tala lying on the floor, with a knife stuck in his chest. "Tala...Tala no!"
"Sorry...Bryan...but it hurts...too much..."
"Tala, how could you? No! Tala...I love you!" Bryan gasped, taking hold of Tala's hands. Tala stared up at him, looking puzzled.
"You...love me?"
"Tala...I love you...Tala...Tala please, don't go!" Begged Bryan, tears cascading down his face.
"I never...noticed...I'm..." There was a pause, as if Tala had forgotten how to speak. "Sorry...I was so...b-blind...it seems...obvious now..."
"Tala..."
"Bryan...do you want to kiss me? Once? Just so you know...what it feels like?" Bryan nodded and Tala squeezed his hands with an effort. The lavender-haired Russian leaned down and their lips met in a bitter kiss. Bryan leaned his cheek against Tala's chest, sobbing. He looked down at the stain of red spreading slowly across Tala's jumpsuit. "Tala...oh Tala..."
"Bryan...promise me...don't do what I've done...I'm sorry...I was so selfish..."
"No, Tala, don't talk like that, we'll phone an ambulance...Tala..."
"Bryan...do you remember...when I was going to p-poison Boris?"
"No..." Bryan gasped. "Tala...there has to be something..."
"Bryan...I'm sorry...promise me. P-promise...me..." Choked Tala.
"I promise. Tala...I love you..."
"You deserved better..." Tala coughed, and Bryan looked down at him. His skin was paling, and his eyes were losing focus.
"I didn't want better, Tala...I wanted you..."
"I've hurt you..." Tala looked sadly up at him.
"No, Tala, I don't blame you...please don't think I blame you...I love you..." He sobbed brokenly. "Don't go, Tala..."
"I'm sorry..." Tala shuddered in pain. "But there's no way to go back..." He gave one last shudder and then lay still, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Bryan looked down at him, bottom lip quivering. He looked up at the bladebreakers, intense, maddening pain flashing across his face and staying in his eyes. He reached out a tentative hand and closed Tala's eyes, running his fingers along the cold skin of his cheek.
Rei looked from Tyson to Max, then walked around the bed to Bryan. He touched his shoulder, and Bryan shied away. "No..." He sobbed weakly, laying down next to Tala. "Please just leave me alone..." Rei went to sit down on the bed next to him, but Bryan rose up, pushing him away. "D-Don't! Don't sit there!" He choked. Rei stood up, holding out his hands pacifyingly.
"Tyson, go and phone Mr. Dickenson. Max, phone the police. Kenny, go with them." The other three disappeared, and Rei stood there, reaching out his hands. Bryan watched him, then looked down at Tala. His fingers toyed with the red strands of Tala's hair, then he picked Tala up, laying him on the bed. "Should it hurt this much? W-Was this how he felt?" He knelt down, tears staining his cheeks. "Two of them...gone...how can it be? W-What have I done to deserve this?"
"You haven't done anything, Bryan...it's not your fault..."
"Tala was so angry with Brooklyn...but I can't be angry with Tala for this...it was what he wanted...even if it hurts me..."
"Why is it okay for him to hurt you?"
"Because I love him. And even though it hurts...it's okay..."
In that instant he saw the difference between Tala and Bryan. Tala's reaction and indeed Tala's love had both been so fierce, so passionate...but Bryan...he was gentle, and almost shy. His love was just as deep, but so much more quiet. It hurt Rei to see him so broken, so helpless. Unlike Tala, Bryan did not protest when they took Tala's body. He just held Tala's hand, letting go as Tala was pulled away. As the police left, Bryan took hold of the officer in charge. "If you touch him, if you mar him in any way, I will kill you." He turned away and walked into the sitting room. Rei folded his arms. "If there is one mark on that body out of place, we will make you pay." Max and Tyson nodded, while Kenny tapped away on his laptop. The officer nodded, closing the door behind him, and Rei nodded to the others, following Bryan into the room.
The Russian was staring into nowhere, tears trickling down his face. Rei touched his shoulder gently and he turned. "He's gone..." He whispered. "He's gone...and I can't go with him..." Rei opened his arms instinctively and Bryan almost fell into them. "We were always together..." Rei tried to hold Bryan up as he went limp, but found the Russian too heavy. He lowered him to the floor gently and held him close.
"What if he's scared, wherever he's gone? I always protected him...Boris never touched him...I always..." Bryan trailed off into more tears and Rei pulled him closer, shocked at Bryan's utter breakdown. He had gone so quickly from being stoic and self-contained to being a crying child.
"I never asked for anything in return...that I saved him from hurting...that was enough..."
"I don't understand, Bryan..."
Bryan sniffed and burrowed his face into Rei's shoulder. "I let them rape me...in return for them not doing the same to Tala..." Rei stroked Bryan's hair comfortingly, shocked and humbled by Bryan's utter selflessness. He felt that he was learning things about Bryan that he never could have imagined were true. It was then that he realized that he had always simply thought of Bryan as the jerk who put him in hospital. "Did you ever tell him?" He asked at length.
"No...I didn't tell anyone..."
"You're so brave..."
"It wasn't bravery. It was on the spot stupidity...but if it helped him...I wasn't going to let them hurt him...never..." Bryan clutched at Rei, distraught. "Why did I promise him I'd stay?" He asked desperately. "I don't want to be here without him..."
"He made you promise because he wanted you to live, Bryan..."
There was a long silence, then Bryan spoke again. "Do you ever wish you were a child again, Rei? Everything is so simple when you're a child...it wouldn't hurt this way if I was a child..."
"That's not true. It would still hurt. You just wouldn't understand why. And isn't it better to understand?"
"No. No it's not. If I didn't understand I could at least believe that Tala would come back to me one day...but he's never coming back...he's never...n-never..." Bryan broke down into noisy sobs again, and eventually cried himself to sleep.
Many days later, Bryan was still wandering around the house like a zombie. He was usually to be found in Tala's room, sitting in the spot where the redhead had died, crying silently. He wouldn't let anyone come into the room apart from Rei, as Tyson found out to his disadvantage when he walked in whistling. It was safe to say that in that second, Bryan went temporarily mad. "GET OUT!" He had yelled, so loud that Rei could hear him even out in the garden. He had run in to find Tyson running past him. Bryan stood at the top of the stairs, looking lost and desolate and furious all at the same time.
"Bryan?" Bryan's mouth turned down at the corners as he fought not to cry. Rei ran up the stairs to him and hugged him tightly. He could almost feel the intense pain radiating from Bryan, as if it were a solid, tangible force. "Come on Bryan. I'll make you some coffee..." Bryan allowed himself to be coaxed downstairs and collapsed onto the sofa, staining the cushions darker with his tears. As Rei put about five times as much coffee as was necessary in the mug, the phone rang.
Bryan answered it, surprisingly. "Da. Niet. Da. D..." There was a clunk. Rei ran out into the living room to find Bryan looking down at the phone as if it were about to knife him. "No...No..." He kept saying, over and over. Rei picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Who is this?"
"A guest. Who are -you?" Somehow Rei had a bad feeling about this heavily accented Russian voice.
"I am a representative of Muslatov Airways. I am afraid that Spencer Kikutov and Ian Baruscov have died. Their plane burned out above Mongolia...I am very sorry-" Rei pressed the end call button and turned to Bryan. He was staring at the wall, eyes unfocused and staring. As Rei watched, he collapsed, to his knees, then onto his front, still whispering 'no' like a mantra that could bring his friends back from the dead. He convulsed, reminding Rei sharply of Tala's last moments.
"Bryan..." Rei whispered. He felt helpless against this tide of grief. He had no way of imagining how much pain Bryan must have been in, but to see such a calm person brought lower than their knees was a terrifying sight. He knelt beside Bryan and touched his shoulder, just as Kenny came in. Rei waved him away angrily and turned his attention back to Bryan.
"Bryan..." Rei pulled Bryan up into a sitting position and held him against himself. Bryan lolled, tears rampaging down his face.
"They're all...no...they can't be...what have I done? I must have done something bad...to deserve this... It can't be...no...they can't...they can't leave me alone...we were never alone...they..." He babbled senselessly. "Kai...Spencer...Ian...T-Tala... NO! It can't be true...they can't..." Rei found himself crying along with Bryan, unable to comprehend how life could be so cruel.
"Oh Bryan...I'm sorry..."
"It can't be...they can't be...I can't b-believe this! It c-can't be true..."
"Bryan..."
"Th-They're all dead! N-No!"
"Bryan...they are..."
Bryan went suddenly limp in Rei's arms. "I don't want to live...I can't live on my own...not...not without...I can't..."
"You're not alone, Bryan...I'm here..." Sobbed Rei.
"B-But Tala...Kai..." Bryan choked. "I...I... Rei... Will you do me one l-last favour?" Rei could tell from the desperate tone of Bryan's voice that he wasn't going to like this request. "Kill me..."
"No." The reply was out before Rei had time to think. He cradled Bryan against his chest, wondering how he dared refuse someone so broken, with seemingly so little to live for?
And then he realised. He didn't want Bryan to die. He wanted him to live, so he could be together with him. 'You selfish brat!' screamed his mind, even as he stroked Bryan's back reassuringly. "I can't do that. I couldn't do it for anyone. It'll get better..."
"It won't."
"It will." Rei said stubbornly. "Because I'm here to help you. I won't let anything hurt you any more. I won't let Tyson hurt you, I won't let Voltaire hurt you, or Boris, or Max, or, or anyone! Not even yourself!"
As was becoming a regular occurrence, Bryan cried himself to exhaustion and ended up sleeping in Rei's arms for another night.
"Bryan? Are you okay?" Rei touched Bryan's shoulder gently, seeing easily that the Russian was at the point of breaking. He'd come to be able to read the signs. But then, what else was to be expected from someone who had just seen the only four real friends he'd ever had in his life being buried? Bryan turned and fell into Rei's embrace.
"They're gone..."
"I know, I know..."
"You don't understand...they're...g-gone..."
"Good things all come to an end, Bryan...even though...the end is sometimes tragic..."
"Do good things begin from bad things?"
"Hm?"
Bryan hesitated, then kissed Rei gently on the cheek. "You've helped me so much. I...I feel like some kind of traitor...but I think...I love you more than I ever loved Tala... Is that wrong? Is it strange to feel that way? I..."
Rei held Bryan tightly around the waist and sighed. "Who knows? But when things end-something- has to begin. Who's to say it shouldn't be love?" Bryan nodded slowly and moved back slightly. "Come on Bryan. Let's go home..." Rei said quietly. Bryan took hold of his hand and they walked back to the black limo waiting for them.
Bryan paused as they were getting in and looked back out across the masses of gravestones around them. "Something begins..." He whispered thoughtfully. As they drove away, he didn't look back, only gazed across at Rei.
Something begins...?
fin