A/N: Okkkkkkkk, finally, another chapter. But cut me some slack for being late with it. It's not like I'd rather be doing school crap. Anyway, thank you so much to the following people for reviewing:

Joel, mojo-gasaraki, dirtyharriet, Pantos, Shimby Kori, Kelly, nemo, cetesy, me, samurai-lapin

Disclaimer: Don't' own it—Oh but I want it!'

Chapter 15:

'Dear Bastard', 'SCORE' and going on the game

'Ok…ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok,' Harry repeated nervously outside the youngest Weasley's door, bouncing up and down on his toes, trying to figure out the appropriate words to comfort Ginny.

It's ok, he told himself, if worst comes to worst I can just accidentally push her out the window and when she comes to she'll have no recollection of what occurred. I'll tell her that she screamed 'I have no reason to live' and threw herself head first onto the pavement. I'll be the brave person who dangerously risked his life to save her, but was tragically too late. I'll get a medal and we'll have hot sex of the hero worship variety.

Then the sane part of his brain kicked in: Or you could just cast a memory charm, dumb ass

'God damn it! Even my subconscious is smarter than I am!'

Ok, ok, suck it up. You can do this, you can do this. Be mature; just treat her like any old tom, dick or Harry...'

'…Ha- dick' He sniggered aloud

'Hello?' A snivelly voice from behind the door spoke, 'Is that you Hermione?' Ginny opened the door and came face to face with Harry.

Crap

'O-oh, s-s-sorry. I-I can go, I-I-f you want'

Ginny tilted her head, 'are you ok? You look like you wanna cry'

Oh! Oh! Chicks dig sensitivity! That's it! All I have to do is act like a complete sissy and she won't be able to resist my pansy, pansy charisma!'

Harry sobbed pathetically into his hands, hoping Ginny wouldn't detect the complete idiocy of the situation.

'You're an ass'

He stopped sobbing.

'Well, can I at least come in?'

0-0-0

'I knew this would happen!' Hermione stamped her feet on the floor boards. 'I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!' She shook Ron by the shoulders.

She'd been screaming pretty much the same thing for the last ten minutes. Ron, finally bored of hearing the same thing over and over, decided to just ask her what the problem was.

'…Hey, Hermione, this might be none of my business, but why are you screaming in my face?'

'I knew he was a prick! I knew he would do this to Ginny! He was only using her! I knew he—'

'—They didn't…you know what….did they?' Ron asked in a squeaky voice. Ron hated talking about his sister in these terms.

'I don't think so…' Hermione stopped screaming and thought for a while, 'But we weren't with her every moment of everyday. I guess they could have—'

'THAT BASTARD!'

'SEE! SEE!' Hermione pointed, jumping up and down on the bed, 'I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!

Ron got up and started pointing and jumping on the bed with her, joining in her mantra of 'I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!'

'What should we do to get him back?' Hermione asked when the jumping came to a stop, eager that Ron was now at the same speed as her.

'We could kill him!' Ron said enthusiastically, eyes widening with excitement

'O…..K…..' Hermione said, not quiet sure Ron was at the exact speed as her, 'Or…or, we could write a letter back! We could pretend to be Ginny and- and, we could say that she was cheating on him too! And that he's better in bed then Malfoy was! …Oh, if they had sex, that is. Well, we'll just have to word that part very carefully then!'

'Yeah!'

'Ok!' Hermione said, thrilled, 'You start!'

Ron grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill, walked over to his desk and sat for ten minutes, giving the air of someone using their upmost concentration.

He put the pen behind his ear, walked over, and handed it to Hermione, grinning. 'All done'

Dear Bastard,

You think you're so smart! Well guess what poo eater—I was cheating on you too! Yep, that's right! And no, this is not a lie! I did him real good! Yeah, we had sex-and he's better than you…if we did it. I forget, but if we did—it sucked!

'That's…great, Ron'

'You didn't read the last line!' Ron pointed to the bottom of the parchment.

'…Ok, Ginny has a Y in it….and also N, and an I, and another N…..Oh, and you missed out the G at the beginning'

0-0-0-

Ginny's room was somewhat of a shock to Harry. Walking in and finding himself face to face with wall to wall snap shots of himself was a little disconcerting.

'So…you like taking…photographs'

'Yeah, it's my, er…art –The theme is—'

'—Harry Potter with a side of stalker?'

'Some might say so. I prefer prowler, personally'

'Right…'

Harry moved over to the bed and sat down.

Well, who else am I better equipped to score with? If I can't make it with my stalker, who can I make it with?

He had to admit though; Ginny breaking up with Draco made things a lot less complicated. For one thing, seeing his tongue rammed down her throat wasn't such as haunting memory, knowing that the last time he'd seen it would be the last time he'd have to endure it.

'So, do wanna talk about ways to get over him?' Harry said excitedly, hoping her response would be: I'm heart broken and vulnerable! Take me now you well equipped stallion!

'Well, first I'd like to sever his testicles—'

Harry made a mental note—do not cross Ginny. Or, if wish to cross Ginny, make sure sex change arrangements are in order before the actual crossing

'—then, if possible, 'She continued, 'I'd like to humiliate him in front of the entire school on the first day back, saying I've got a new boyfriend—'

'I could be your boyfriend!' Harry blurted out, then clapped his hands over his mouth.

'Really? You'd do that?' Ginny asked in disbelief

'Yeah, sure'

SCORE!

'Ok, so it's all set. When we go back to school we'll make a big scene and you'll be my new pretend boyfriend'

'I sure will be your—what?'

Withdrawing the 'SCORE!'

'Unless you've changed your mind?' Ginny became worried. She hadn't exactly grasped what Harry had intended the gesture to mean. If she had, she'd have obviously accepted, but, bless her, her head was emptier than a hermits address book.

'No, no. I'll—'Harry gritted his teeth—'do it'. However his anger dissolved at his realisation that he'd just said do it.

0-0-0-

'Ok, that's really good Ron, but I think it needs a little more…' Hermione tried to find an un-insulting word.

'Swearing?'

'Uh…sure, that too. But just give me a few minutes with it, ok?'

Hermione proceeded to pretty much change the entire thing.

'There, 'She said upon its completion, folding it into a perfect square, as was her method,' 'now, if you could just give it to pig to owl off to Malfoy, that'd be helpful'

Hermione got up and left the room on the pretext of using the bathroom, but her real intention was to go eavesdrop on Harry and Ginny.

Ron stood there, holding both letters up, weighing up his options

Hermione's letter had heart, but football in the groin had a football in the groin

He finally decided on sending his letter, as it was obviously the more believable option. What Hermione didn't know wouldn't kill her. Or, if it did, he could always say Harry did it.

0-0-0-

Hermione made her way down the hall hearing the distant familiar voices of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley in the dinning room

'Authur, I'm sick of being so God damn poor! All I was suggesting is that we go to London and—'

'—Why go all the way to London when you can make a fortune here lying on your back!'

Hermione pressed on, feeling it was probably best she didn't hear the beginning or indeed the end of that argument. Besides, that wasn't what she was particularly interested in at the moment.

Upon reaching Ginny's bedroom she pressed her ear against the door and listened intently. She knew it was wrong and none of her business, but lets face it, she's a brown nose little bitch.

She could hear Harry laughing nervously.

'Ah—I didn't mean that. I mean, I did mean it. But I was so stupid, that I didn't mean what I meant—'

Ginny sounded disgusted.

'How dare you traipse in here under the pretext of being concerned, when all you wanted to know is whether I had my periods so you could have sex with me!'

'It was a joke. A BAD JOKE! I didn't mean it!'

'And here I was thinking that you actually cared, but all your interested in is your FAT PENIS!' Ginny yelled as she put on her over coat and headed for the door.

Harry jumped up and threw out his arms.

'Oh, no—don't go! I've said too much! I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!'

Ginny flung open the door, bowled Hermione over and ran down the stairs and out onto the front lawn.

Ron was in the kitchen with his parents when Ginny darted out the front door.

'Ah, yes,' Mr. Weasley commented as he saw his daughters retreating back, 'to be young again: Running, jumping, prostitution' He added snidely, looking up over his paper at his wife.

'Forget it Authur'

'Oh, please go on the game!' He whined.

'No!'

What do we have food wise?' Ron quizzed his mother.

'Hmmmm,' she tried to remember the last time she went shopping, 'Well, seeing as we're still shockingly poor, your choices are dirt, or, 'She turned and rummaged through the cupboard behind her, 'this'. She held up an old cereal box. The front advertisement read: Made of 100 sheep shit, it's guaranteed to fulfil your daily requirement of animal excrement! Now with added pellets!

'…I'm not eating that'

His mother pursued the issue still, pouring the contents of the box into bowls for her son and husband.

'Thorpie says it's fully sick'

This both disgusted and shamed Ron.

Mr. Weasley threw himself head first into his cereal bowl.

0-0-0-

Ginny scuffed her shoes on the bricks outside her house. She'd been outside for about 20 minutes and she'd hoped someone would have at least told her to come inside by now. Ginny had a sever attention seeking disorder.

Just as she thought she better turn on the water works Mr. Weasley opened the door, holding a duck. He looked at his daughter momentarily'

'Ma'am'

He put the duck down and scowled at it.

'…That's a duck'

'That is a bad duck!'