A.N.: Okay, I have a confession to make, and it's going to make some of you terribly unhappy with me. In the last chapter, Bulma planned to drag our favorite monkey-boy along on a shopping trip. The bad news? I never actually intended for him to go. I mean, seriously, can we see Vegeta doing something he doesn't want to do—even for Bulma? Sorry, guys, but it's just not going to happen. Besides, it's a little clichéd, the whole shopping thing. I just can't make myself do it, though I'm sure there would have been some great moments if I had.
Also, I was asked why Chichi would even care if Vegeta didn't show at her shin-dig. She hates him, right? She wouldn't bat an eye if he dropped off the face of the earth, so why would she care if he didn't come? Well, first off, Chichi's not the one who invited Vegeta. Goku did, mainly because Goku's really naïve—'naïve' being a tactful way to say 'stupid'—and he considers Vegeta to be a friend or something. Chichi would get mad only because she'd see Vegeta's refusal as an insult to Goku, and, being Chichi, she'd have to take it personally.
Okay, so it's not a great explanation, but I'm glad the question was asked. Just remember that this story is only fluff and not meant to be taken too seriously. Keep reviewing for me, though, and keep sending the feedback. I really do appreciate it!
Also, people have been asking to put this story on their sites. I don't have time to submit it myself, but feel free to pinch it. As long as I get credit, I don't mind at all. Just put the name of the site in a chapter review so I can check 'em out later.
AND SEE MY AUTHOR'S PAGE FOR VERY IMPORTANT UPDATING INFO!
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RECAP: Vegeta messed up the gravity room, so Bulma forced him to help her fix the damage. Then, partly to get back at him, she decided to force him to go on a shopping trip.
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CHAPTER THREE: Stupid Monkey
Bulma had, in her short life, built up quite the reputation—for her temper, for her intelligence, for the thousand other qualities that made her who she was. She was known as being neither a patient nor a stupid woman, but extraordinary genius aside, she still didn't realize that Vegeta had disappeared on her until after the entire morning was lost.
She was, of course, absolutely furious. "Stupid monkey!" she snarled, over and over again, and her mantra lost none of its potency for the fact that the dyspeptic Saiyan prince was not around to hear her words. She continued to pace the confines of her home, anger radiating from her every pore. Her entire face had quickly become red with her fury, and her blue eyes held fire.
"STUPID MONKEY!"
There was nothing she could do. Bulma had never thought of herself as being particularly in tune with her handsome, hated houseguest, but even she was surprised to realize that she hadn't been able to predict his actions, this time. Vegeta had vanished, and Bulma, who knew him better than most and would have had a greater chance of finding him than any other, couldn't even begin to guess where he might have gone. In all the time he'd been living with her, she just couldn't think of a single occasion when he'd actually left their home for anything other than some to-the-death fight. He didn't have any hobbies outside of fighting, so it's not like he'd just taken the day off to go to a movie or something. Where was he? Didn't he understand that she was going to make his life miserable for bailing on her? He really was just a stupid monkey, if he thought she'd let him get away with this.
She wasn't worried for him. Even if he had gotten into trouble in so short a time—and with his abrasive personality, this wasn't as unlikely as it would have been with anyone else—he was certainly strong enough to defend himself against anything he might encounter. This lack of worry aside, however, Bulma was still irritated. She'd been looking forward to this shopping trip for quite some time, and she'd truly wanted Vegeta to go with her, if only to have someone available to cart her many bags home afterwards.
Bulma scowled, finally accepting that she would now be forced to make this trip alone. She sighed as she returned to her bedroom, pausing just long enough to run a brush through her blue hair before gathering her purse and setting out on her own. Her car was already waiting for her outside, courtesy of one of the robotic servants, and she pulled aside the door to the vehicle and situated herself inside. Then, just before she started the engine and drove away, she paused once more, glaring up at the sky overhead. Her eyes were still flashing with anger, her mouth still pressed into a tight line. She shoved her head through the car's window, glaring at the innocent clouds drifting through the morning sky.
"HEY, VEGETA!" she yelled, her cry loud enough to send birds and small animals fleeing for safety, "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE, YOU STUPID MONKEY! YOU CAN HIDE FOR NOW, BUT DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS! IF I COME BACK TO A BROKEN HOUSE, I'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU'D STAYED DEAD!"
Bulma pulled her head back inside the car, feeling strangely relieved as she drove away. She doubted that Vegeta had actually heard her, but she felt better than she had in a long, long time.
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Vegeta had still not returned when, hours later, Bulma's shopping trip finally ended. The slender, blue-haired woman was still fuming as she dragged herself into her home, arms so laden with bags that she wondered exactly how much time she would have before her limbs fell off altogether. She stumbled through the door, a strained expression on her lovely face as she attempted to carry her purchases as far as the kitchen table…not that she'd really expected to make it, of course. Her bags were just too heavy, and part of her felt almost glad when her arms finally gave out. The bags tumbled to the floor, but Bulma felt only a perverse sense of satisfaction as she heard a few of her more frivolous purchases shattering into millions of tiny pieces. Something else to blame Vegeta for, she thought, choosing not to realize about how petty she sounded, even to herself.
"Stupid Vegeta," she muttered, repeating words she'd used roughly ten thousand times since the older man had moved in with her. "If he'd just come with me, this would never have happened." She frowned, surveying the mess she'd created with frustration clear in her blue eyes. "He could have carried all of this without breaking a sweat. Heck," she muttered, "he could even have carried me—and then I wouldn't have so many blisters from walking around all day!"
She grinned suddenly. Now there was a thought, she mused, not caring that she still hadn't kicked this awful habit of talking out loud. The idea definitely had possibilities, though Bulma couldn't even imagine Vegeta ever actually doing something like that. She knew he had a thing against so much as touching humans, even those he was around all the time and should be used to, like her. Maybe, though, she could find a way to blackmail him into carrying her, just for kicks...and then find someone to photograph the event so she could relive it on those days when Vegeta got too much for her. Of course, she'd have to find someone with a death wish to take the picture, she mused, laughing, because Vegeta would want to kill anyone involved, afterwards.
Then again, his wanting to kill someone would hardly be a deterrent for her, of course. She wasn't scared of Vegeta, even in his worst moods, and the thought of tormenting him was sometimes all that kept her going. Besides, Vegeta was always trying to kill people. As far as she could tell, it was more or less his only pastime.
Not exactly a well-rounded individual, was Vegeta.
Bulma laughed over that for a very long time, but she would decide, later, that Dende had a really twisted sense of humor. Either that, or the universe itself hated her. Why else would Vegeta have chosen that very moment to finally come crawling back into her life, if someone didn't hate her? The images she'd invoked in her mind had already left her gasping with laughter, and she hadn't been quite prepared for the Saiyan prince when, still chuckling, she turned around and found him standing in the doorway. Once again, she couldn't even begin to guess how long he'd been there, watching her in silence with that ever-present scowl on his face. His dark eyes were unreadable, and she immediately tried to choke down her now slightly more than dangerous sense of humor, not wanting to provoke him into another fight until she was back in control of herself. She dropped her eyes from his, unnerved, as always, by the intensity of his gaze and the intensity of his silence.
Her initial goal had simply been to look away from Vegeta's face, but her eyes, no longer focused only on his, instead drifted almost mindlessly down to the corded muscles of his arms. Perhaps, since she'd been thinking about them lifting her only seconds before, it was natural that she should gaze at his arms rather than at something more innocent—assuming there actually was anything innocent in Vegeta—but it was the last place she should have looked, and the irony of it was that she normally wouldn't have given them a second thought. Still, it was her first mistake.
She stared at his arms for a long moment, and for the first time in her very complicated life, Bulma wasn't capable of forming an intelligent thought. The sight of those arms, the strength she could see in them—clichéd though it was, it quite literally took her breath away. She found herself becoming fascinated, almost hypnotized, by the way the muscles played against each other under his tanned skin. She'd always known Vegeta was strong, but only now did she truly realize just how much sheer power the man exuded…and while that didn't exactly frighten her, the uneasiness nestling in the pit of her belly only grew.
She tore her eyes from his arms, forced them upwards again. It might just be safer, she'd suddenly decided, to look Vegeta in the eyes again rather than continue to stare at his arms like an idiot. The Saiyan prince did not, after all, suffer fools gladly, and she knew perfectly well that he wouldn't appreciate her gaping at him like this. He'd take it as an insult, and then she certainly wouldn't be able to avoid that fight. So she glanced up, made her second mistake of the day. Vegeta was staring back at her with even more anger than usual, and he didn't look at all pleased with the way she was behaving. He looked disgusted, in fact, as though he couldn't believe that a mere human woman would have the audacity to ogle him as she wouldn't quite admit she'd been doing. His glare only deepened as she now stared into his face, just as caught by the fierceness of his eyes as she'd initially been by his strength.
What was wrong with her today? She knew she was being more than a little stupid, knew she was probably risking her life just to look at him for so long. He wouldn't take her idiocy well, and even if he didn't try to kill her right away, she knew she'd still have to hear about it later. Vegeta wouldn't let this slide, not for anything. He'd taunt her about it for weeks, and that was only if she was very lucky and he was in a good mood.
Of course, Vegeta didn't seem to have good moods, not ever, so maybe she should just give up and slit her own wrists right then and there…
Bulma mentally shook herself, and while she stayed calm enough on the outside, she was absolutely kicking herself on the inside. She bit her lip, sighed, and debated whether or not she should just cut her losses and look away, or if she'd be better off by continuing to look Vegeta in the eyes. After only a moment's hesitation, though, she decided to shift her eyes to the mess still at her feet.
That was her third mistake, and she realized it almost immediately. She'd known, of course, that she couldn't just look completely away. Vegeta, stupid monkey that he was, would have taken that as some sort of challenge, and he would immediately have started the fight that she'd been so eager to avoid. Nor could she have continued staring into his face. That, too, would have been a challenge, and Vegeta was too stubborn to break the meeting of their eyes himself. He never backed down, did Vegeta, and it just wasn't in his nature to let a human win anything, even a staring contest.
He made a sound so deep in his throat that it might almost have been a growl, and she fought to keep the nervousness down. She forced herself to remain in place, and, since she knew her attempt to pacify Vegeta had failed already, she brought her eyes back to his face. She glared at him, hating him with every bone in her body, wishing she'd never met him and still wondering if there was any possible way to get rid of him. "Would you stop glaring at me like that?" she snapped, irritated beyond endurance. "I didn't even do anything to you this time, you stupid monkey!"
His glare only intensified, of course, but his handsome face twisted in that characteristic smirk, and she found herself wanting so very badly to hit him. She knew she wouldn't be able to, though. Vegeta was one of the strongest fighters the universe had ever seen, and he would certainly be able to dodge the blow of an untrained human woman. Still, Bulma had never been one to deny an impulse, however dangerous it might be, and if she couldn't hit him herself, she could still do the next best thing, couldn't she? The blue-haired woman took a quick step back, reached out with one slender hand, fingers twisting around an object she'd left on the counter that morning. It was heavy in her hand, but moving so quickly that another human would never have noticed or been able to react in time, she threw it at him anyway.
Time seemed to slow down, for Bulma. The frying pan that she'd just thrown flew through the air, turning on itself as it went, but Bulma had more than enough time to turn her gaze back to Vegeta. He was still staring at her, his eyes glued to hers though his face remained completely impassive, not seeming to have noticed her homemade weapon as it spiraled towards him. And just as Bulma was realizing that her actions had been borderline suicidal, the pan hit Vegeta smack dab in the middle of his forehead.
Oh, Dende, she thought, panicked, he's going to kill me for sure…
His reaction wasn't anything like she'd expected. She'd thrown the thing hard enough to give anyone else a concussion or crack open a skull, but Vegeta didn't so much as blink. He didn't move in the slightest, only remained standing exactly where he was, watching her with the smirk still in place. His stare was unnerving and almost offensive, so much so that all thoughts of impending death flew from Bulma's mind. How dare he stare at me like that! Just because I can't hurt him doesn't mean he gets to look at me like I'm nothing! Fury rose in place of her fear, the flames of her anger making her already beautiful eyes glitter, bringing a bit of color to her pale cheeks. "I told you to stop staring at me, monkey-boy!" she snarled at the prince. "Don't you ever listen?"
He was watching her still, and she thought she could detect the faintest hint of amusement in his glittering black eyes. "Why?"
She didn't know if he was wondering why he should listen to her or if he was simply asking why she didn't want him looking at her all the time, but the second question was easier to answer. "Because it's creepy, that's why!" She threw her hands up, disgusted enough that she entirely forgot to be nervous. "Do you stare at me that way because you haven't figured out how to blink?" she demanded angrily. "Or is this just another one of your weird stalker issues?"
That caught his attention, even if nothing else had. "Stalker issues?"
She continued glaring at him, hating him for the amusement still in his eyes, hating him for the shiver that danced up his spine as his low, gravelly voice teased her ears. She pushed recklessly on anyway, not caring that he really wasn't someone she should be angering or baiting like this. "Yes, stalker issues! What, did you think I hadn't noticed the way you're always staring at me, the way you're always listening to every conversation I have?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "It's weird, Vegeta. Maybe that's never occurred to you, but I'm not putting up with it anymore!" Her eyes narrowed, though the glitter of fury remained. "You wouldn't stare at me like that if you weren't planning something, but it's not going to work, whatever it is, so you can just take your evil plan and shove it someplace where the sun doesn't shine. I'm not going to fall for it."
He took a step towards her, the corner of one lip edging upwards in another smirk. He didn't miss the fact that she'd stepped back, involuntarily moving until the table was at her back and she could go no further. There was such a predatory glint in his eye that she couldn't help herself… "And what," he growled, sending a whole troop of shivers her way, "do you think I'm planning?"
She couldn't answer. He had taken another step, and another, and now he was standing so close to her that she could smell the sweat mingling with the uniquely masculine scent that was him. Her eyes had widened, a fear that had nothing whatsoever to do with his strength pooling in her stomach. "I dunno," she snapped, trying her best to keep her uneasiness from her voice. She thought she succeeded, this time. "Maybe you're planning to attack me in my sleep, get revenge for every time I've ever talked back to you, for every time I wouldn't put up with your holier-than-thou attitude. Maybe you're just planning to kill me because you can. It won't be the first time you've tried, now will it?"
She hadn't expected Vegeta to take her seriously, but whatever she'd thought his reaction would be, he certainly didn't give it. He only continued watching her, dark eyes as unreadable as always. "If I'd planned to kill you," he told her bluntly, "you'd already be dead."
She glared at him, knowing perfectly well that it was true. As fast as Vegeta was, there was no way anybody would ever come to her rescue in time. Still, it was rude of him to point that out. "You think I don't know that? You've been threatening me on a regular basis ever since you moved in, Vegeta. Really, I got the message." She rolled her eyes, annoyed and almost forgetting to be scared now that she'd remembered how irritating he was. "Dende, I don't know why Goku had such a hard time defeating you. You're so bloody predictable."
There was a long moment of silence, and then his lips thinned. "You're not afraid of me, are you?" he asked, and something in his tone had her narrowing her eyes, even if she didn't know exactly what was setting her on edge.
"Of course not," she grunted, unflinchingly returning his coal-black gaze. "Why should I be scared of you? You may be able to kill me, but we both know you're not going to do anything. You can't."
He scowled, all trace of amusement completely gone, swamped beneath the arrogant challenge in her voice. Vegeta never had liked being challenged, and he certainly wasn't going to accept one from a simple human female. "Why not? Because that worthless human mate of yours would come after me?" His scowl deepened, and he lifted his arms, gripped the counter on either side of Bulma, essentially trapping her. Bulma only blinked back at him, startled as the heat radiating from his body sunk into her.
He's so close. When has he ever willingly gotten this close to me?
Her surprise must not have shown on her beautiful features, because Vegeta only pushed on, pressing his face even closer to hers. "Don't make me laugh," he told her, and the cockiness in his stance would have been enough to make her angry, even if she hadn't been already.
Bulma wasn't one to be intimidated that easily, and his mockery of Yamcha was only making her irritation with him grow. She could put up with Vegeta's scorn of her easily enough, but she wasn't about to sit back and let him deride the cheerful warrior she'd loved since she was a teenager. She grinned maliciously, momentarily ignoring his closeness. She could feel his breath mingling with hers, but she honestly didn't care. Two can play at this game, monkey-boy. "No," she said, voice surprisingly sweet, "because I'd send my mother after you. Even if she didn't blame you for hurting me, she'd follow you around for years, bawling her head off all the while. Knowing you'd have to listen to that would be revenge enough, monkey-boy."
It shouldn't have been such a great threat, but it was enough to silence Vegeta. He knew, just as Bulma did, that her mother's crying was not something any sane man would want to inflict upon himself. The woman's sobs were often so shrill that only the dogs could usually hear them when she really got going, but as sensitive as Vegeta's hearing was, it was nothing short of torture for him. Even he, hardened killer that he was, would have done just about anything to keep Bulma's mother happy and so avoid that kind of pain.
Vegeta's face hadn't changed, but he wasn't saying anything in response to that, either, and Bulma knew she'd just won the argument. She pushed past him, deciding that she probably couldn't risk sticking around to gloat over her success. Vegeta wasn't as smart as she was—nobody was, really—but he was smart enough that he'd eventually think of a way to get back at her. She'd just as soon not be around when he did. She shoved at his chest, only a little surprised when he didn't resist, and bent to gather her purchases off the floor. She ignored the broken things, knowing the robots would take care of it and not wanting to stick around Vegeta for that long anyway. She might not have been as afraid of him as she should have been, after all, but that didn't mean she was stupid enough to stay with him when he was in one of his moods…
He continued to glare at her as she gathered her purchases, though she wasn't exactly surprised when he didn't offer to help. Still, as she gripped the last package in her slender fingers, she suddenly stood and faced him. She took a step forward, and then another, steeling herself inside as she pushed her face as close to his as it had been before. "You," she told him, voice clear and calm and absolutely controlled, "are a schmuck."
She turned and left the room, not caring that he was still watching her with those dark eyes of his, not realizing that the tiniest smile was tugging at the corner of his lips…
Reader Responses:
Sassy-Chan: Well of course he's in love with her! There wouldn't be much point to a Vegeta-Bulma fic if he wasn't! And, yes, we're all waiting for him to get jealous enough to rip Yamcha apart. I mean, there's nothing overtly wrong with Yamcha...but we're all waiting for Vegeta to kill him. Maybe one day I'll figure out why that is.
I'm sorry I didn't send Veggie shopping. I just couldn't do it. Maybe next time. As always, beloved Sassy, thanks for reading!
anonymous: Will do. Thanks for reading.
Samantha: Thanks. I appreciate the compliment.
animeObsessed: Thanks for reading, though I'm sorry to disappoint you about the shopping trip. Maybe next time.
Liz: Why thank you! You're compliments were incredibly inspiring. I absolutely love hearing from you, though your words are making my ego swell even more than it already was. Until next time, blessed reader!
Nittie iz: The makings of a classic, eh? Well, maybe I should take this more seriously, then! Or maybe not. This really is just a fluff piece. Don't expect intelligence, because you won't get it. Mindless mushiness is more likely. Thanks for the compliments, though! I hope to hear from you again.
Mazza: Detailed? Can fluff be detailed? I'm glad you liked it, though, and I hope you stay with me!
keshia: I'll do my best. Anything to make a fan happy!
Krissy: Yes, and isn't Veggie pretty when he's jealous? Maybe he'll do something drastic if I provoke himenough. I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to it! Thanks for reading, by the way. I loved hearing from you, and I really, really loved the compliments!
Maria: Well, I'm glad I didn't do the shopping thing, then. I still say there could havebeen some great moments, butit would havebored me, too. (Though I wouldn't have done the try-on-clothes or humiliate-Vegeta thing. That's silly, and it honestly didn'toccur to me. More like a Veggie-and-Bulma-spend-time-together-and-get-to-know-each-other thing, maybe.) Anyway, thanks for the input. I always appreciate honesty, and you're definately that!
manga: Thanks. I'm so glad you reviewed!
KuroKitsune:Not half bad? Why thank you! Still, I will continue to compliment you, because frankly my dear, you deserve it. And I have been reading your story, just so you know. It's wonderful and intelligent and funny, and I've been recommending it to everyone...but I haven't been reviewing, and I'm sorry. I just haven't had nearly as much free time as I used to, and taking the time to review every chapter isn't always an option for me. I apologize, because if anybody was worth the time, it's you. Until I get some free time, though, know that your story is pure genius!
manga: I know, and I'm sorry! I've been so busy that I haven't been updating much of anything. I hope I answered your question, at least. You got a whole paragraph in my author's notes, anyway, so that should count for something. Thanks for taking the time to review. I really loved hearing from you.
Garowyn: Me, too. Thanks for reading!