Would You Be My Boyfriend?
By: Akune The Cute
A/N: This is nothing but a piece of... toot. This is my first story, and it is half-based in true life and half-based in fiction, the reason why I placed it here. If you don't mind and if you have time, please read. If you don't mind also, please review. Thanks alot!
Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of Ragnarok... just for fun!
All of this started back when I was five, I had short hazel brown hair and it was slightly parted in the middle and pony tailed on both sides that looked cute for my curls are in different pattern. I was a little chubby and my skin was not really fair. My thin red lips matched my dark brown eyes that have long and beautiful eyelashes. I was a jolly and playful little lass before and I used to play outside our red gate by the shrubs and flowers my mom planted. I loved playing by the dirt and mud with my imported, expensive and beautiful dolls.
When I was at this age, I prefer torturing my toys in agony than playing with them like a nice little girl. All of my toys were so unfortunate especially my stuffed toys and dolls for they faced the wrath of mine since I was just a toddler. Once I had a doll named Vanessa, she was my favorite of them all. Not because she is pretty and that she came from Paris, it's because she is so adorable that I want her to meet the rage of hell. She wore pink shoes, white socks and she has a pink frilly dress with heart patterned all over. She was soft and cuddly, as well as headless.
One fine day, the sky was blue and fluffy clouds were scattered all over it like cotton candy and it looked so delicious I could eat them. The cool wind blew and our subdivision was silent because the neighbors were not yet home from their works and schools. I walked out of our house and started to play "torture" with my favorite doll. I tied Vanessa to a barbecue stick that I poked to the ground near the golden rosaries my mom planted back when she was still single and haven't met my dad. I picked up some small rocks and pebbles from the sidewalks and from our garden and started throwing those at her. Her body and clothes was all dirty and stained that I enjoyed looking at and kept throwing some more at her. Then suddenly, something flew towards my doll and KABOOM! It exploded like an erupting volcano!
"Whoa!" I exclaimed in great awe. "Who did that?" I looked around and I found a young boy at around eight, he wore a plain blue shirt and brown knee high shorts with a slingshot on one of its pocket. His hair was light auburn and it was parted, he was fair skinned with light russet eyes and intermediate colored lips. He grinned at me and showed all of his front teeth that were incomplete. "How did you do that?" I asked and ran towards him.
"Me? That's just simple…" he showed me brown triangle pieces of things with red and blue wicks on his open palm.
"What are those?" I asked him while smiling innocently as I picked one and tried examining it even though I could not understand.
"These are explosives, they explode." He explained as he continued to grin at me and the grin was very disturbing.
I immediately threw the explosive away and covered my ears as I screamed in horror. He just laughed and hugged me as he comforted me when I was about to cry. "Don't worry," he told me, "It won't explode unless you lit it with fire."
Since that time, we became good friends. His name was Khalil, a name his dad gave him after an author of the book "The Prophet", Khalil Gibran. I sometimes call him lil, but most of the time I would call him Khal.
He would usually wait for me outside our gate and we would play on the street. He seemed like a big brother to me, and I liked him a lot. My parents liked him as well and he would spend most of his time with me at home playing and fooling around.
-;-
When I reached first grade, my parents decided that I should go to the same school with him. He was glad about that and he was the one who sent me to class on my first day of school. After our classes, he began to show me around the school, from the fun library to the horrifying principal's office, to the audio visual room and the different classrooms of the buildings, and my favorite part, the children's park.
I marveled to the different amusements in this park. The walls were painted with colorful designs and pretty flowers all over, it was so beautiful and it seemed to be as colorful as the rainbows I used to see in the sky after the rain. The slide in there was a big gray elephant, the see saw was a green alligator, then there was also a bench that looked like a black gorilla, I felt like I was on the zoo!
I ran around trying to enjoy the beautiful sight around me then I saw the swing. "Khal, let's play there…" I pulled his polo and pointed towards it.
He smiled at me and brought me there, he made me sit on one of the seats that was designed to look like little yellow birds flying low and they were attached to chains that was hanging on the metal pipes that was painted with bright orange and the vertical tubes were deeply buried to the ground and was designed with wood so that it would look like the long necked giraffe. "Hold on tight." He warned me as he slowly pushed me on the back.
Everything was going fine until I started shouting, "Higher Khal! Higher!" and he pushed me with great force that I lost my balance and fell off the swing face first that I started moaning in great pain then I started to cry.
Khalil was startled as he helped me up and he carried me to the nearest bench. He comforted me and patted my back while trying to clean me up as well as to check if I got any "boo boos" on me, good thing there wasn't any.
He brought me back to our house as he held me close to him while I was eating the lollipop he gave me. My mother welcomed me in front of the house then he told my mom everything as he told her he was very sorry. My mom, being the typical caring mother of mine, was so worried and she was almost freaking out while she was trying to know what happened to her little girl. She thanked Khalil for being there for me and starting that time, Khalil became my bodyguard. Everyday he would check on me in my class to see how I was doing and if any of the boys would hurt me, they're dead meat.
As he grew older, he began to neglect his responsibilities on me. His friends influenced him badly and I seldom see him when I was in 3rd grade. I was sad and lonely at school that I even told my mom about it, but she just told me to move on. So I started making friends with the other girls in school, but I had chosen the wrong ones and became a naughty little brat.
-;-
I pulled so many pranks on my teachers and classmates that me and the principal would meet three to five times a week. My mom got worried on what was happening to me but she didn't know what started all this. I was enjoying everything I did, and I didn't care about what the other felt about my insensitive actions.
Once when I was in 6th grade, I was sitting on a brown wooden bench in front of the principal's office for placing a cute little gray mouse on the teacher's drawer that almost scared her to death. Just then, I saw a very familiar face. He sat down beside me looking down to the floor and he was thinking very deeply. I watched him silently while I tried to peek through his slightly long hair that covered his eyes.
"K-Khalil?" I asked him nervously.
"Huh?" He looked up then he looked straight into my eyes, it really was him. I hugged him immediately and I felt his warmth, the warmth of that body I felt a long time before. I was not looking at him but I knew he looked startled. Why would a girl hug him for no reason at all?
It took him awhile before he realized it was really I, his childhood friend, for it took him some time before he could hug me back. We embraced each other for a short while and he was the first one to break our silence.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in your class today?" He asked me looking confused.
I felt numb; I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him while biting my lip while he waited for a reply. I was so hopeless I did not want to lie so I told him the truth.
"What? But why?" he looked worried this time, the same look he gave me when I fell off the swing when I was seven. I just replied him with a deep sigh and looked down, and he knew at once what that meant. "I'm sorry…" he apologized to me and took my hands. "I'm really sorry for what is happening to you, I… I know I'm the one to be blamed. I'm really sorry for that… Please forgive me?" he apologized again; he knew he was very guilty, but I did not blame him. He looked at me with his deep brown eyes that turned a little watery. I looked deeper and I saw that he really was serious about what he said.
"I didn't blame you Khal, I never did." I showed him a sweet smile as if telling him "it's alright, everything will be just fine." I hugged him again and gently patted him on the back to show how much I missed him.
After this incident, the principal and me never met again, and so did Khalil and her. He began to change and I can see that clearly. Every morning he would wait for me outside our house and we would walk our way to school as we talk about things that we could talk about while killing time so we could get to school faster. Every recess, he would always check if I have eaten already because if I didn't, I'd get a long sermon about me getting sick and stuff. We also eat our lunch together; he really makes sure I get a balanced diet, and he would sometimes, well, I think almost all the time he would treat me with a bottle of soda or a cup of juice. During dismissal time, he would be waiting for me outside my classroom. He would walk me back to our house to make sure I would get home safe. Every night, between 7 PM to 7:30, he would call me and remind me of my home works and projects, but if ever I would tell him I would not do it, I calculated that he would be in front of our gate 5 minutes after the call. Now that's what I call best bud!
-;-
I got to know him better and when I reached 1st year high school, I just learned he was a school hunk and many girls drooled over my own best friend. Many girls envied me, I could talk and spend time with him together with no efforts, he would fetch me at school and go home with me as well, he would eat with me while I'm not spending a single cent and he feels comfortable when he is with me. Like why should I care? Its there problem not mine. But you know, in fairness, he's one heck of a hottie. Anyway, he also played in a band; he was the vocalist as well as the guitarist. I thought he would change into a typical self centered playboy wit those fame and fortune, but he was just the same old boy who blew up my doll.
Months have passed; Khalil and me were having a good time in our friendship until I got into this called "peer pressure". I felt something was different and I don't know if what I was feeling was wrong. It was something out of the ordinary, something mysterious. I never felt this before, which made it a little astonishing. This feeling is something that whenever I'm in his presence, I would feel nervous and conscious on how I would act in front of him. I sometimes feel awkward on how I would look like whenever we meet, I didn't wear the same shirt and jeans I used to wear before, I preferred wearing feminine clothes; skirts, blouses, dresses matched with charms and pendants. Before I would just meet him with my hair getting frizzy and untidy, I know he really doesn't mind, but I prefer tying or clipping my hair with ribbons and clips. Now this was really getting scary!
One time, he went to my house. We were going to watch a movie and he looked very dashing and charming in his black polo that was neatly ironed and was matched with his plain white shirt inside. His denim jeans made him look more masculine as he matched his black chucks with it; he was so darn cute!
He waited for me downstairs as he sat quietly on our blue couch in our living room. I was inside my room, braiding my hair and checked the mirror to show me the whole truth about how I would look like on the clothes I was wearing. I wore my favorite pink three fourth blouse that has a pretty heart printed in the middle of it, my blue knee level denim skirt, and my black boots. I matched it with the necklace and bracelet that had rose colored pendants, and I matched them with my earrings that were dangling and it had pink charms on each piece.
As my mom called me and I knew that by the tone of her voice she was getting irritated waiting and trying to entertain Khalil, I have finally finished preparing myself and gathered all my strength to come out of my lair. I walked down the stairs slowly, Khalil stood up and was astounded with my new look. I smiled at him while trying to hide my tension, and after a few steps I felt more comfortable. I was only a few steps towards the bottom, guess what happened? I tripped and I fell face first on the floor! One of the most embarrassing events of my life and it hurts like hell I tell you, HELL!
He immediately ran towards me and helped me up while I covered my face. I felt bad of what happened then he came across my eyes and told me, "The same old careless little girl I used to know." He smiled at me sweetly then he turned to my mom, "MA, I'm going to take Nikylla out now, I promise I'll take care of her, bye MA! " he said while emphasizing the "Ma" word.
I laughed while I slapped him on the back of his shoulder and he laughed too. My mom just looked at him and smiled, "Khalil…" she pointed her finger towards him, "I'll be watching you…" she grinned.
I really didn't know what that meant, but Khalil went out of my house smiling. I was really getting curious about what it really meant, but he just keep on telling me, "Nikylla, you look fantastic today." "You look so gorgeous!" then he started blurting out nonsense, "Mind if I court you?" "You know… It would be really nice if you were my girlfriend…" and more stuffs I just keep on laughing about. I was actually enjoying what he was telling me, but why would I let him know? I just listened to him hoping he really was serious about those words, but all I can do is just wish.
-;-
That was not the only time he told me that, there were also certain circumstances that he would put his arm around me and he would tell his friends I was his girl, then he would start teasing that he would kiss me. Being the type of girl who doesn't want her own best friend to be embarrassed in front of his band of friends and I would hug him back and just go with the flow because even I was enjoying what we were doing a lot. There was really nothing wrong with that, we were both single anyway, nobody dared stop us in our games and schemes.
This was really okay with me but I stopped playing around when my mom got mad at Khalil because she saw him with another girl at the mall, she thought Khalil and me were already in a relationship. I just laughed at her and explained to her that "We are just friends" and stuff, but deep inside I was jealous knowing he was with somebody else.
After the talk with my mom, Khalil and me sat on the garden and we reminisced on our past, how we acted like naughty little children, the pranks we used to play, but I know there was something that he wanted to say. In the middle of our conversation, he just blurted out that the girl he was with was just really a friend of him, no special affection between the two them. I really felt glad about that, now I know I have a chance for him to be mine, but I told him it was just alright if he liked the girl… in a way. He hugged me tight and smiled, "You're the best friend I ever had…"
"It's really sweet of him, but I know he only considers me as a friend, I can't go farther than that. I guess I'll just dream that he would like me too. I'm not beautiful anyway; I just look good when I'm well dressed." I told myself.
-;-
More months have passed and New Year's Eve was fast approaching, as expected, more explosions and eruptions by midnight and it would go noisy and stuff all around the neighborhood. I decided that for my New Year's Resolution, I would tell him what I feel.
He spent His December 31 with me, helping my family around the house and by the afternoon, we were left all alone in the garden. I sat on the green grass while he lied down beside me. We were talking about some stuff when my New Year's Resolution came into my mind and I knew I had to tell him!
We fell silent as we watched the dark sky and the stars that started to appear twinkled on the high heavens. I was calm but I was actually practicing inside my mind, "Khalil, I want you to know that you could ask me to be your girl friend… no, too stupid… Khalil, would you mind if you would be my girl friend? I mean boyfriend? Oh come on! Khalil, want to court me?… Yeah right… Khalil, court me or else, no… Uhm… Khalil, court me, I beg of you, please!…"
"Nick?" he whispered as he gently patted me on the shoulder that shocked me and I just blurted out, "Will you court me?" then I immediately covered my mouth. If only I could eat those words back, I would but it was too late.
"What?" He looked at me startled.
"I mean… Who will you court… Who do you court… yeah, that's it, who do you court! Right… now?" I exclaimed while trying to cover what I said praying that he haven't heard what I mumbled before.
"Oh… that…" he smiled. "Why would you wanna know?" he asked as he raised one of his eyebrows and stared at me.
"Nothing." I replied immediately while looking away.
"Well… There's this certain girl in this neighborhood…"he started.
"Yes… continue…" I told him while my hearts were raised high hoping that the girl would be me.
"I have just realized that I like her…" he continued.
"Really? Who?" I started getting impatient when I grabbed him by his shirt and started shaking him.
"…Farrah." He looked at the sky with those dreamy eyes and I felt his brain was floating somewhere in the air. I felt whacked when I heard that name. I looked down to the ground and felt a teardrop fell down to the earth. I felt my heart was stabbed more than billions of times that I wanted to cry my heart out. I wiped my cheek and tried hard not to let him see my reaction.
"Lucky girl…" I told him as I showed him a fake smile. I immediately stood up and told him something I never did before to my best friend, a white lie, "My mom just called me, I need to do something, bye." I immediately ran into our house before he could get a hold of me.
I ran up to my room and I started to cry on my bed. This was the first time I felt this, and it really hurts deep inside and it could have been worse than death. I cried for hours, good thing my mom came to comfort me.
"Nick, he is not the only guy in this world, you deserve someone better." She advised me as she comforted me with hugs and kisses.
But how can I just forget my feelings about Khalil? He's not just any guy that I could easily erase in my memory because he's my best friend. He changed me into a better person, and he plays a very important rule in the book of my life. I can't just tear down the pages on the book of my life; my existence would be incomplete without it.
-;-
I spent the rest of my vacation in grief and loneliness. I felt so incomplete as if a part of me has been taken away. I never wanted this to happen, because if I did, suicide would just be much better. The first day of classes for the year started and I went to school alone and attended my classes. I was physically present but I was mentally absent, I didn't even know why I even went to school that day. Khalil tried to cheer me up, but he failed for he did not even know the main reason why I am in a great depression.
Days have passed and I have finally overcome the situation and moved on, I tried hard to accept what was meant to be between the two of us. I just kept what I was feeling and just treasured what we had. Khalil and me still spent some time together, but not that much now because of this girl "Farrah", and I really hate her, BIG TIME.
I was getting the hang of it and I thought maybe I could get him myself, make him realize that I'm better than her. Valentines Day was already approaching, and it would be the day of truth. I have practiced my lines day and night, so that everything would go perfect between the two of us. When the time came that I was about to tell him what I am feeling, somebody told me that Farrah was already his girlfriend.
This really struck me and I didn't know why these things kept on happening to me. Was I cursed when it comes to love? Am I that unfortunate that I can get anything I could want but could not get what deep inside of me really wanted? How could destiny be so cruel to a lass who doesn't know a thing about this emotion? I really didn't know what to do during those times but just to cry all my heart out.
The days have gone by and I stopped communicating with him for the sake of lesser pain. I ignored him at school and I spent most of my time inside the classroom, reading books that were not even absorbed by my mind. Nobody saw me smile, nobody saw me that I was happy, for all this time, I know I can never be.
-;-
A month passed and I spent most of my time in the park, envying lovers walking hand in hand, hugging each other, and how they showed what they wanted their partners to feel. I really envied these people; they got what they wanted in a pace of life I could never get the chance to feel. In those days, I bumped into a guy named Clyde. He was the typical silent type, he uses gel on his hair that made him feel like he looked so good but he looked like a jerk to me. He was so interested with me that he tried all sorts of stuffs just to see me smile. It took him a long time to do that, but after five weeks, he succeeded.
I had almost forgot what happened between me and the emotion I had towards Khalil. I started to make up with the times I haven't spent with him for a short while. He told me how worried he was that I didn't spend time with him anymore, and how much he missed me during the times we could have hanged out. I have to keep, and I just answered him with lies; I didn't want him to know that I was hurt.
After a month, I started to develop my feelings to Clyde, he became my boyfriend ever since. I was really happy about our new bonding, not as friends, but something much deeper. I told Khalil about my new connection with my new boyfriend, and he was happy for me. Now that both of us are in these kinds of relationship, we talked more about what we think of our partners and ask advices to make our relationships better.
-;-
Khalil and I went out one time to go hanging out in the park. It was late in the afternoon and the blazing sun was not that hot anymore. The wind blew the tall trees as the leaves cling to the branches as they swayed to the music of nature. The park was filled with beautiful flowers of different colors; there were pink, yellow and orange. People around us were marveling about the beautiful sight of their surrounding. I sat on the grass while eating the strawberry flavored ice cream he bought me. He then laid his head on my lap and I didn't mind that at all, we are friends anyway.
"How are you and Clyde?" he started as he brushed his hair away from his face while looking at me.
"Well, we fought a few days ago, but we're fine." I replied while licking the melted ice cream so that they won't drip on his face. "How about you and Farrah?"
"Fine." He replied while he kept on staring at me. I really didn't mind, I was to busy eating the ice cream, it was so cold and sweet that it suited the warm weather.
There was a long silence. Just when I was about to bite the last piece of the cone, he began to talk again. "Nick, I was just wondering…" he sat up and played with his bangs.
"Yeah…?" I replied while wiping the sticky ice cream on my finger.
"W… W-Why don't we play a game?" he said and started playing with his fingers.
"Sure." I answered him and smiled. "What kind of game?"
"You see… Farrah doesn't seem to care about me these times… She's not the typical sweet type I used to know…" He then looked at me and smiled back showing his cut dimples, ooooh! So charming! "Well, would you be my girlfriend? If it's fine with you…"
I paused for a while and thought about it. This was what I was longing before, now he's asking me the words I have longed to hear. But I already have a boyfriend, does that mean I'd be cheating on him? But I like Khalil too; now what am I supposed to do? I can't have two guys at a time! That would be too selfish of me. I really didn't know what to say. I looked at him for a while and then decided on what to do.
"Yeah, sure. I don't mind at all." I told him while feeling a little shy and felt like blushing. As I took a second look at him, I saw how happy he was about that. "Everything is just fake." I thought, but as I looked at him, I started to see how fascinating he was. "Well, it's better than nothing."
-;-
Three months have passed and our "fake relationship" was going well. I was having fun like him, and we treated each other like we really are the girlfriend or the boyfriend of each other. We started calling each other names like "darling" and "honey", then it evolved to "Hershey's" and "Gummi Bears". He sometimes spend his free time with me at home, Clyde didn't mind because he was busy skateboarding with his friends, while my family didn't mind either since they thought we were just teasing each other, no kissing happened anyway.
One fine day, I went to his house to bring him the homemade cookies I baked. I placed about 11 of them (eleven because that is the day we started our "Fake Relationship"), inside a pink paper bag, stapled it and placed a pink ribbon in front. As I knocked in their front door, his baby sister opened it and she said that her brother was up in his room. I was about to surprise him upstairs but as I slowly opened the door, I heard him sobbing.
"Khal? What's the matter?" I walked inside and sat on his bed as I placed the cookies beside me. I patted him on the back and I watched him cry. I just sat there and I waited for a reply.
"F-Farrah…" was all he can say. He covered his face and wept. I never saw him like this, and I actually didn't want to see him depressed. He has been my best friend for years and this was the first time I saw him cry.
"What about her?" I asked. I really pitied him, so I hugged him in a tight embrace. I know I could never minimize the ache he is feeling that time, but it was the least I could do for him.
"She dumped me… And I don't know why!" Then he continued to weep while I tried so hard to comfort him.
"She doesn't deserve you anyway… You deserve better." I advised him and made him look at me. "No matter what happens, I'm your best friend. I'll always be here for you. I'll always be." Then I smiled at him and secured him with another embrace.
I don't want to feel this, but I think I loved him… again. How can this be happening? I thought I forgot about this but it just came back. I sensed my heartthrob as I felt him close to me and this feeling was so heavenly. Am I really in-love with my own best friend?
But how can I love him when I love another one? Clyde and me are happy with our relationship, but I must not be in this situation with Khalil too. I was really confused but I just told myself, "Maybe this will just pass."
-;-
Days have passed and Khalil slowly returned back to normal. He became the old Khalil I used to know. He was jolly, talkative but nice and arrogant as well. Everything was normal except his treatment towards me. He is acting a little weird and disturbing.
Every morning, I would find a pink rose on my school desk with three Hershey's Chocolate Kisses and a small card attached to it having the same content, "I just want you to know I love you… Loving You Always, Khalil". This went on and on for three consecutive weeks until the time I can't take it anymore. I met him by the school chapel and I waited for him there.
"Hi Nick!" He greeted as he ran towards me carrying his black backpack. "Sorry I'm late."
"Why are you doing this to me Khalil? You know that I love somebody else… " I told him in a soft voice as I looked down and handed him the pink rose back.
"Keep it Nick, I just want you to know I care… And that, you mean so much to me…" He said in a very romantic way that made me fall more to him. He took my hands and kissed them gently and continued, "I love you, Nick…" then he held me close to him.
"I can't love you Khal… I just can't…" I declined as I pushed him farther from me.
"Please Nick… Just for once I want to show you how I feel… Just for once…" He begged me and pleaded as his eyes started to turn watery when he looked at me. I didn't want to see him cry again like before, so I cuddled him in my arms.
He hugged me back and I treasured those moments we shared together. I loved his warm embrace, how heartrending it was to feel this way even if I couldn't tell him how I feel.
When he had finally let go, he moved closer to me and closed his eyes. I didn't know what gotten into me but I moved closer as well. I saw his face gently fade away as I shut my eyes slowly.
I didn't know what was happening around me when our faces were mere inches from each other. I could feel his warm breath against my skin as his lips slightly parted and touched mine. A storm of emotions raged within my mind as I could feel his lips gingerly touch my own. The feeling was- sensational, I've never felt so good, so complete… so content. Content in staying like this… forever. I could feel his head moving, spreading a wave of pleasure down my spine. Almost subconsciously, I began to move my head too. But this temporal bliss ended as reason began it's uncaring mission to bring me back to myself… to me… as pictures and memories crossed my mind, the memories I had with Clyde. I immediately pushed him away and we looked at each other not knowing what to do.
He moved closer to me again and I looked startled. He was about to kiss me when out of nervousness I gave him an excruciating and agonizing slap. I didn't really want to do that, I just got so nervous that it just came.
"I deserved that…" He exclaimed while trying to smile as he gently caressed his cheek. I was really troubled on how to react that I immediately picked up my bag and left. I ran away as fast as my legs could carry me while I could not understand why that had to happen.
As I reached my room, I laid on my bed and thought of what could have happened to the two of us. I love Clyde, and I know that what I did was already cheating on him. I know it was just a kiss, but that was not just any kiss, it was something… I can't explain.
-;-
I have finally decided to stay away from him; and that would be a better decision. I tried to stay away from him and spent most of my time inside the room. I would spend my time alone on my desk waiting for the bell to ring so that all the classes would end and that I could go home to be safe and away from Khalil. Everyday, I didn't know why I kept on receiving a card attached on a pink rose with three Hershey's Chocolate Kisses. It really didn't mean a thing to me anymore, so I just ate the chocolate, while I kept the roses and dried the withered petals and kept them inside a book and gathered the stems on a small box.
3 Months have passed, Clyde and me was supposed to be happy in our relationship, but every time I am with him, I felt something was empty. There was something inside me that used to be there but I could not feel anymore. Our relationship was not going the way it should be, and we finally broke up for good.
After nights of thinking, I finally realized what was missing, I knew the part of me that was empty, and it was Khalil. All this time he was the one I truly loved, and I regretted walking out of that moment! Grr! So I decided, the next day, I'll take back what I said and I'll tell him I love him.
The next day, I wondered why I haven't received any rose or chocolates that day. I didn't know why he would miss a day giving me those gifts, which he habitually does. I would watch outside the door to see if he ever passed by, but he never did. I just thought he was absent for the day, so maybe tomorrow he will be there.
I have waited for a week but he didn't come to school. I began to worry why he would miss classes for so long. During dismissal time I went to his classroom and asked his best friend where he was.
"You didn't know?" He asked me looking anxious and I began to wonder.
"I'm sorry… no wonder he left this. He said I should give this to you when you look for him." He told me in a soft tone and I knew something was wrong. I looked at him as he handed me a blue envelope. I flipped it to the backside and he wrote in cursive form, "Nikylla", and it really was his handwriting.
To my beloved Nikylla,
The moment we met by the principal's office, I knew that I had loved you. I just kept it for myself, I didn't want it to get into our friendship. When you reached high school, I loved you more than before. I want you, and I want you to be my girl. You might have thought those times I kept telling my friends you're mine was a joke but I wasn't kidding around, I really wanted you to be. I thought you didn't seem to be interested in me so I thought you weren't meant to be my girlfriend.
Then I met Farrah. Yes, I liked her, but you were the one that I love. You're my best friend Nick and I thought you just looked that way towards me. I courted her and she did become my girl, but I knew I could have been better if you were in her place. I knew you would care more, but I can never make you mine.
I was about to break up with her and tell you how I feel, and I had to risk our friendship for the sake of this. But then, you had Clyde. I was hurt Nick, I hope you knew how it felt.
When Farrah dumped me, you were there for me, thanks. You know, I fell for you more but I didn't have the guts to say it, until the time we met at the chapel. I really didn't mean to do that to you, I just got carried away. That slap you gave me was painful, but what I felt inside was worse.
I know you could never love, so before it hurts more, I'll just leave. I'll be going to the U.S. with my mom and dad. I think it would be better if I stayed away from you, I just wish you and Clyde good luck.
And Nick, I hope you kept the roses I gave you. Every rose corresponds to each day I loved you…
I love you,
Khalil
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the last words he wrote. I felt sorry for myself, I felt so stupid not telling him when he was still near me and I went home disheartened.
-;-
As I entered my room, I immediately looked for the remains of the roses he gave me before he left. I picked the stems and counted them one by one. As I counted the last one, I began to cry, it was 143 roses. For 143 days, he showed me how much he loved me. For 143 days, he showed me he cared; but I didn't treasure what he had done for me. For all this time, I never treasured him.
I wept inside my room for hours regretting. Just then, my mom knocked on the door. She told me someone was looking for me. Now who would be stupid enough to look for at 10 in the evening? I told her I didn't feel like going out, but she insisted. I really got irritated so I hurriedly brushed my hair and wiped my face then shrugged while walking downstairs.
-;-
As I looked towards the living room, I saw a young lad. I could not see him clearly but I can see that he was wearing a blue short sleeved polo and brown pants. He stood up and I think he was glad to meet me.
As I walked closer, his became clearer and I realized who he was!
"Khalil? Is this you?" I looked at him and smiled as tears ran down my cheeks. He smiled at me and he showed me his famous charming smile, it really was him!
I held him close and locked my arms around him, making him feel that I don't want to lose him again. I felt his arms lock around me as well, the sweet embrace of the one I love. "I though you said you're going to the States?" I asked while cuddling him close to me.
"I was supposed to… But I realized that I love you way too much I can't stand a day without you… I don't think I'd even survive if I stayed there… I'll mish your touch, I'll miss your smile, and most of all… I'll miss YOU…"He told me as he wiped my tears and brushed my hair off my face. "I love you Nikylla…" then he kissed my forehead.
"I love you too, khalil…"I replied. I was truly happy now, I could stay in this embrace forever. He lifted my chin up with his index finger and planted a lingering kiss, a kiss I knew could move mountains; a kiss that would forever linger against my lips. We broke away and held each other closer, fearing that if we let go we'd be lost forever. I laid my weary head against his heaving chest… the sound of his heartbeat beating in rhythm with mine… united in our love…