Chapter 9

"Then you die," the words had hit her like a ton of bricks, had left her unsure of what to do. "Abby, you do not have to decide right now, soon, but not now," the man said, and gently pulled her away, just as Dubanko walked in, Kerry right behind him. Abby listened and watched as her two colleagues began to examine her.

""It was Morris, that quiet rather always messed up looking little intern?" He shook his head, "Oh I would like to have him up here so that I could do absolutely nothing for him. I'd love to run over him several times with a car, well that is unless the bunch down in the ER beat me to it." Dubanko said as he knelt down next to Abby head. Kerry nodded, agreeing whole heartedly with what Dubanko was saying. She reached over and tenderly moved the hair away from the site on Abby's skull, so he could check the placement of the ICP probe, making sure that it was in place and working. When he stood back up, Kerry let her hair go, and then grabbed Abby's hand.

"Abby, it's Dr. Weaver," she gave up then, and let the tears fall. "Abby, please, please, don't give up. You have no idea how important to this ER you are sweetheart. Everyone is asking about you, your patients especially the Jones' want to come up and visit you soon. Sarah, the gymnast with the broken ankle, made me promise that she could come back and see you. She said that they were going to win at Nationals just for you. Jake is an absolute mess, Dubanko wont let him in the SICU though, more for his sake then yours." Kerry paused, the sound of the ventilator causing her to become more upset, "Abby, fight it, you can't leave us. We can't go through this again." Abby stood there in shock at what she was seeing. Dubanko had walked over to Kerry, and stood next to her, his hand on her shoulder, he let Kerry cry.

The stranger that was with Abby saw the effect that Kerry's speech was having on her, yet he knew she wasn't ready to make the decision of whether to live or not.

"Alright, come on," he grabbed her again, and soon they were in a completely different place that Abby had never seen before.

"Who are you?" her voice was shaky, quite.

"I'm Tom," he sat down next to her on the ground.

"Tom?"

"Yep, just Tom, I'm kind of like your guardian angel in a way." Abby nodded, not sure if she really wanted to know any more information about Tom.

"Where are we?" looking around, Abby just saw land, flat land. Yet, it wasn't ugly, the grass was green, the sky was a brilliant blue, and there was an occasional tree. What stood out the most, were the cows she saw in the distance. This was defiantly not Chicago.

"Texas," was Tom's simple reply.

"Texas? Why Texas?"

"It's where I grew up, it helps me to relax, helps me to think. It's where I bring all of my clients,"

Abby looked over at him, "clients?"

"Yeah, clients just like you. Once ya'll figure out that you are have a choice between life and death, the answer doesn't usually happen immediately. So instead of waiting around at the hospital, I take ya'll here," Abby silently laughed as Tom used the term ya'll frequently in their conversations.

"I like it here, it's warm," Abby smiled and looked over the plains.

"You can stay here if you like,"

"You mean if I decide not to live," suddenly, in the distance, Abby saw a giant tornado spinning on the ground, heading directly towards them, Yet, Tom didn't seem worried.

"Exactly, but either way, but think of it this way," he pointed towards the tornado, "death or life, there could be destruction in both choices."

Abby chewed on her lower lip for a minute now as she thought about what he was saying. She didn't mean to laugh but she kind of had to as the conversation that she and Carter had on the beach after being set free from the hospital after the lockdown came to her mind. He had said that she wasn't chaos but that she was definitely the tornado. And here she found herself being forced to chose between life and death, between going back home or not. One would think that this would be an easy decision but it wasn't. There was more to it than simply returning back to her old life. That life might not even be there for her anymore. Could she handle living life paralyzed or as a vegetable?

She didn't know about any other injures that she sustained and wasn't sure if she wanted to know. The thing that bothered her was that she didn't know if she would be willing to live with the decision to life once she had made it. But how could she chose to walk away from her family and her friends, the needed her, she needed them. Who would Carter talk to if Abby wasn't there, and what about Jake and the new relationship that they had going now. If she left and didn't return that would be the end of it, but if she went back, would that it still be there?

Would he still want to be with her, if the odds didn't allow her to come back as the whole person she had been? Seeing Weaver cry, that touched her to the core. She had seen Kerry cry, been there for Kerry when she had lost the baby, and she had been there when Kerry had lost Sandy and now Kerry was trying to be there for her. Despite the cold outward appearance that she had, Abby knew there was more to Kerry than what you saw. All these people cared for her on some level and Abby knew that, she just didn't know how to make the decision. What to seriously consider in it. There was more good than bad in going back that she could see. It was more of would she be able to live with it once she made the choice?