I know that it's been a long time coming. But I've been really busy. But here we are, just for you. I've put on two chapters at the same time. Enjoy
I still don't own the X-Men
Birthday Blues
The alarm went off and Mattie rolled over to switch it off and found herself rolling out of bed. An arm pulled her back again.
"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby asked as he pulled her back towards him.
Mattie froze for a moment. Then she remembered the events of last night. She closed her eyes and wished the memory away. How could she have behaved like that? What was she thinking? Her whole body seemed to react to her embarrassment, she was sure that she was blushing from head to toe.
The alarm was still going off. Bobby reached over and shut if off. He stared down at Mattie. "Morning beautiful."
Mattie flushed deeper. "Hi." She whispered at last.
Bobby grinned at her, the he looked serious. "How do you feel this morning?"
"Better." She looked away. "Ashamed of my behaviour." She met his eyes again. "Better for telling you. You did help me. Thank you."
Bobby smiled at her, and then kissed her gently. "Here to help."
Butterflies fluttered in Mattie's stomach. His kiss was electric, it lit her up inside. All she wanted to do was stay here. But she knew why the alarm had gone off. She had to get back to her room. They had training. She had to get her uniform and get ready. But most of all, she had to do all this without anyone noticing. Most of all Logan.
Bobby sighed. "You have to go."
Mattie nodded. "I know."
"Stay?"
She grinned. "Okay."
"Wow. My powers of persuasion are fantastic."
Mattie giggled.
Bobby groaned. "Go. Go now before I keep you here forever." He threw the cover off them both and gave her a push. "Go on."
Mattie stepped out of bed. Bobby's shirt hanging off her, reaching down over her jeans to mid-thigh. I hope no one sees me. On the other hand, why shouldn't she wear her boyfriend's shirt? And there was nothing to say that she hadn't been up early getting breakfast, or something.
She leaned over to give him a parting kiss. "Thank you." She whispered. Then she was out the door and speeding along the corridor to the safety of her room.
X
Easing open the door of her room, she saw Sam asleep in her bed. Paige stirred, and then sat up. She took one look at Mattie's pale face and leapt out of bed. They met each other in the middle of the room. Paige wrapped her arms around Mattie.
"Are you alright?"
Mattie nodded.
"Are you sure? You're okay?" Paige studied her. "What happened? If he hurt you…"
"No!" Mattie shook her head. "No. He would never."
Paige said nothing.
"Bobby helped me."
"What happened?" Paige cast a disparaging look in Sam's direction. "He told me next to nothing. Just that you'd been crying. I didn't want to leave you there. But…"
"I was fine." Mattie assured her. "Bobby took care of me."
"He'd better have." Paige hugged her again.
Mattie squeezed her tight. So this was what it felt like to have a sister. Someone who watched out for you all the time. Someone who didn't consider anyone good enough for you.
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Maybe later?" Mattie gave her a small smile. "I'm not sure I could go through it again."
Paige nodded. "We'd better get ready. I'll try to wake Sam."
Mattie went to find her uniform. She was shattered. Training was going to be a living hell today.
She couldn't get her words to Paige out of her mind. Through it? Again? 'Through it' implied that it was over, that she had come through the other side. Had she? Today was her birthday, and it was still filled with the guilt that she usually felt. But it was duller. Rather than a bright white searing pain, it was muted, dampened. Healing? Could it be that easy? One person tells you that you've got it wrong. That you've been punishing yourself needlessly all your life. And you believe him? You just let it go? All those years of hidden pain. Erased in an instant, because of what one person said. Or… Was it that he had given her something else to focus her attention on? Her behaviour. Her wanton behaviour. The shame from that would override anything else at the moment. How could she? And yet there was no anger, no regret. Embarrassment, yes. And rightly so. But no regret. She had told Bobby what she had told nobody else. He had been there for her. When she needed him.
"Mattie?"
She looked up. Paige was watching her closely. Sam was stumbling out the room, muttering his good mornings and good byes.
"Are you alright?" Paige asked.
Mattie nodded, her uniform clutched in her hands. She smiled brightly. "I'm fine."
Paige looked unconvinced, but she nodded and hurried Sam out the room.
Mattie took a deep breath and let it out. Enough. She had had just about enough of feeling sorry for herself. And it was going to stop right now. She couldn't deal with one more person asking her how she was. Time to look happy and put on a brave face. Moping around would only encourage people to ask questions. Question she could do with out. It was time for action. That punching bag was going to wish it had never been born.
X
Bobby was almost late to training. He'd made Sam tell him everything he could remember about the way that Mattie had looked, and sounded, and talked and acted. Down to tinniest detail. Then he'd sat and thought about it all. He hoped she was okay. Mattie always seemed so happy with life. To see her crumble like that had shaken him.
"Hey." Ray whispered as they all trooped into the Danger room. "So are we going to Rich's birthday or what?"
Bobby stared at him.
Ray stared back. "What?"
Bobby glanced at Mattie. She seemed fine. Laughing and joking with her friends. Paige never far from her side. But today was not a good day for her. He knew what was going on inside her head.
"Alright." Wolverine growled. "Let's get started."
Bobby knew he was safe for now. Logan wouldn't mention Mattie's birthday. He didn't care. They were here to train, not get special treatment. The last time that someone had mentioned that it was their birthday; he made them do extra laps. Nobody mentioned their birthday after that.
But Bobby was willing to place money on the fact that the Professor, Dr McCoy and Ororo had something planned.
Professor! He put as much desperation into his thought as he could.
I hear you, Bobby
He sounded startled. Bobby could picture him at his desk, looking up in surprise.
Don't do anything for Mattie's birthday. Don't even mention it. I'll explain why later. But please, don't even tell anyone. Just make out like it's a normal day.
The Professor waited a while before replying.
Bobby, are you sure about this?
Yes! Please Professor X. I know that I joke around a lot. But this time I am serious.
Well all right.
Bobby felt the Professor brush over his mind.
It seems that only you, Mattie, and the other teachers know. I will endeavour to keep it this way.
Thank you, Professor. And I promise I'll explain it all to you.
"Iceman!" Wolverine barked. "You haven't been listening to a damn word I've been saying. Get you butt in gear."
Bobby nodded. "Yes sir."
Wolverine glared at him as he listened to Charles. Damn telepaths, he was never going to get used to hearing voices in his head. It felt like bees were in there buzzing around in there. He shook his head, to clear it. So. They weren't to mention Chase's birthday? Fine by him. "Wasn't gonna anyway." He muttered to himself.
X
Bobby had made his way straight to the Professor's study as soon as he'd changed for school. During training he'd been watching Mattie closely. She'd kicked some serious shit out of the punching bag. Better than beating on herself though. She seemed fine, but he'd be a lot happier once he'd told the Professor.
Come in Bobby
Bobby made his way across the room and joined the Professor on the sofa set by the window.
"Quite unusual for Mattie to wish to keep her birthday a secret." The Professor said as an opening.
"She didn't." Bobby said. "I mean… She did… But…" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Professor I don't even know if I should be telling you this. I'm pretty sure; in fact I know that it was in confidence. But I'm in over my head here. I need help."
The Professor looked thoughtful. "Go on. I'll try to help as best I can."
Bobby nodded nervously then plunged into an edited version of yesterdays events. He focused on Mattie and her issue with her mom's death. The fact that she wouldn't let it go, how she was convinced that she'd killed her. That she never let it out, had never told anybody how she felt. What her dad had said to her. And how this all added up to birthdays being a very dicey area for Mattie.
The Professor leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. "I was aware that her mother's death was an issue for Mattie. But I didn't realise that it went this far."
Bobby looked worried. "But you can help her? Right? I mean… I did the right thing in telling you?" He got up and paced the room. "Aw man she is going to hate me for telling you this. What have I done?"
The Professor watched him pace, thinking about how best to help Mattie.
"No offence, Professor. But I really should not have told you. What was I thinking? She is going to freak when she finds out that you know."
"Perhaps you could persuade her to let me know of her own accord."
Bobby stopped pacing and turned to face him.
"You could suggest that she comes to me herself. It sounds like you did manage to have some sort of effect on her."
Bobby frowned. "I'll try." He looked up. "I think that she could really do with your guidance."
The Professor smiled. He, like most of the others, felt that Bobby could do with taking on a little responsibility. It was intriguing to find him suddenly so serious and thoughtful. And there was always something gratifying about having the students turn to you.
"I will do my best."
Bobby nodded. "Thanks Professor." Then he left to find Mattie, and some breakfast.
X
Mattie found that the day passed in the normal way that days did. As long as she continued to breath, and moved her body to classes, the day moved itself along. After all there were only 24 hours in the day and she'd got through most of them. Paige and Bobby had kept a watchful eye on her all day. Her cheeks were starting to ache from constantly smiling to reassure them that she was fine.
"Mattie." Bobby said as they got out the car. He watched as the others made their way into the Institute. Paige gave them both a look, before heading inside. "I wondered…"
Mattie watched him closely, a frown forming. "Wondered what?"
"Do you think that you should tell the Professor what you told me?"
"Tell him?" Mattie asked. "Go over it? Again? But it's only a few more hours until today is finished."
It was Bobby's turn to frown.
"I don't want to think about it any more."
"Mats." Bobby took her hand. "Mats, I really think you should talk to the Professor. You need to talk to someone about all this. You can't just ignore it. You have to deal with this. Talk to someone."
"I talked to you didn't I?"
Bobby nodded. "But I think that you'd do better to talk to the Professor."
"Why?" Mattie eyed him suspiciously. "You think that something is wrong with me?"
"No." Bobby squeezed her hand. "I mean… Mattie, please let the Professor help you. I hate the fact that you're hurting. I can't help you. But maybe he can."
Mattie looked sceptical, but she nodded. "Okay. I'll go talk to him."
Bobby sighed with relief. He didn't want to push his luck, but he didn't want anyone else asking her before he did. "So. Rich's party?" He looked at her sharply. "If you don't want to go then we won't. If… You know. It's too hard for you or anything."
Mattie shrugged. "Just because I choose not to get excited about my own birthday. Doesn't mean that I can't get excited about someone else's."
"So you don't mind?"
"Of course I want to go." Mattie grinned at him. "Miss a party? Besides Paige and I have been planning outfits. She would totally kill me if I didn't go."
Bobby caught her up in a hug.
"What was that for?" Mattie laughed as he let her go. "Not that I'm complaining."
"I don't know." Bobby replied as they headed inside. "I guess…" He shrugged. "I just…"
"Thanks, Bobby." Mattie gave his hand a squeeze. "I put a lot on you, and you took it. Thanks for being there for me."
Bobby squeezed her hand back. "Any time."
X
Mattie stood outside the Professors study wracked with indecision. She raised her hand to knock on the door, and then pulled it back. Shaking her head she took off down the corridor at speed. In the blink of an eye she was back again. She took a deep breath, raised her hand, pulled it back and ran off again. She reappeared at the door and raised her hand.
Come in, Mattie
Busted. No going back now. Mattie pushed the door open and made her way across the room to the Professor.
"Hi."
"Have a seat, Mattie."
"I guess you already know why I'm here." Mattie tapped her head.
The Professor dipped him head. He didn't mention to Mattie that she was so nervous that she was projecting her thoughts as though she was shouting.
"Why don't you tell me?"
"Really? You can't just reach in here and see it for yourself?"
"I'd like you to tell me. Tell me your version."
"Okay." Mattie muttered in a small voice. "Well I guess it started when I was born. And then she died."
The Professor nodded for her to continue.
X
Bobby was waiting for her in the Rec room. When Mattie walked in he patted the sofa and beckoned her over. Mattie curled up next to him with her head in his lap.
"How are you?"
"Drained. Boy he really likes to listen, huh?"
Bobby grinned down at her. "So are you ready for tomorrow night?"
Jubes and Paige looked up at this.
Mattie nodded. "Almost ready. Right girls?"
"We've got the whole of Saturday. We'll be ready." Jubilee said.
Ray rolled his eyes at Bobby. "Girls."
"I hear ya." Bobby replied.
"How long can it take anyway?" Ray asked. "You pick an outfit, you put it on. End of story."
"Ah, but which outfit?" Jubilee asked. "Which top, which skirt, which trousers, which shoes, which jacket?"
"I think you just met the problem." Bobby told Ray.
"And then there is the make up." Paige told him.
"And the hair." Mattie added
"And the problem of what if the clothes that you choose don't go with each other. Or worse, they don't go with what your friends are wearing." Jubilee said.
"I'm never gonna get this." Ray moaned.
"And that is why, my dear Raymond, you would never make a very good girl." Bobby said with a grin.