Chapter 12
AN: Okay here's another update! Hope you like it…though I think you guys might throw something at me. The first song is called 'Destiny' by Jim Brickmann and the second one is called 'Looking Through the Eyes of Love' by…um…I don't know who. I think that song is from and old generation. Though it's still good and one of my favorite oldie…
Hope you like it and enjoy!
Faith's POV
I fucked up…
Really…fucked up…
I mean…this time…I really screwed up big time…
We were talking and laughing after a week of silence that I still don't know why it came up. We walked towards the motel, I taught her how to dance, we began to prepare ourselves to sleep, I gave her my present which she liked so much that she tackled me to the ground with her on top of me…and then…the next thing I know…we…we kissed.
Not a friendly kiss mind you. It was a 'I want to be more than a friend' kiss…I think. It seemed like we were kissing…for a long time. I felt the time stopped…and we just continued kissing. It was intense…I never felt anything like it. Though…it feels familiar also…
And so…there we were…on the floor…with her on top of me…kissing. And what happened when she pulled away? We just stared at each other for awhile…then I fucked up by saying…
"I-I…think we should get some…sleep…we have a…um…big day tomorrow…yeah…so…um…"
I didn't look at her when I said it. I think it was a minute before she got up and lay on the bed facing her side. I frowned, cursing myself feeling her warmth slowly fading. I missed her already…
I got up and turned off the lights. I slowly lay on my side and looked at her for awhile. I know she's not asleep and I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. But I didn't…I just stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep…
I wasn't surprised when I woke up around 12 noon with her gone. I expected it. I thought we were going to be okay since we talked about how we acted…but now…I think we'll grow apart even more.
"Faith…you coward…"
I told myself as I got up and decided to take the shower and head towards Mr. Giles mansion since that's were my gown is…
Buffy's POV
Stupid…
Stupid Buffy…
I shouldn't have kissed her…
I sighed as I sat down in a room with Willow at Mr. Giles's big house where the wedding is going to be held at his garden. I told her what happened and well…she was happy and angry at the same time. She was happy because we kissed…and was angry when we didn't say anything nor do anything after that. We just slept in the same bed avoiding each other.
I cried that night when I heard her sleeping. After that kiss, I wanted to tell her everything when we pulled away from each other. But…I saw her eyes and knew that she was somehow…afraid…like me.
I'm scared. Scared that she might not have the same feelings that I'm feeling for her. Scared that once she knows how I felt…she'd feel disgusted. Just plain scared.
"I'm a coward…"
I said softly as I held my head on my hands. I heard Willow get up and head towards me putting her hand on my shoulder.
"Don't say that…I know it's hard to admit someone that you love her. Especially when that someone is Faith. Faith didn't experience that kind of love that you're giving her…that's why I think she's holding back. She's afraid Buffy…just like you are…"
I couldn't help but look at Willow with amazement. She can be so deep…and smart. I smiled at her…
"I never thought of that…maybe…maybe you're right."
"Of course I am. I can read people easily…"
"You can read other people…but you can't read Tara…"
She looked away blushing.
"Th-that's different…"
"No it isn't. How about this. I tell Faith how I feel…and you tell Tara how you feel tonight."
She looked at me with uncertainty. She's hesitating. I think like myself…she's afraid to get hurt…afraid to lose someone important to her… We can be so similar sometimes…
She sighed looking at the floor.
"What if you end up with Faith…while I end up with no one…"
"What if you don't? We never can tell what might happen. Let's just do it with no regrets…"
She's silent for awhile contemplating on what to say to me. Her silence broke down with a smile on her face saying…
"Okay. Let's do it. Let's get us some fine looking girls tonight."
I nodded encouraged by her enthusiasm. Tonight…I'll tell Faith how I feel…even if she doesn't feel the same way…
Faith's POV
I was ready to go to Mr. Giles's house when I heard someone knocking. I sighed thinking it was going to be the manager asking for the rent again. I really don't have any problems with money. Some guys from the government informed me of my inheritance a year ago. It was from my mom. She saved up a lot of money…and well…I really haven't used it. The money I've been using is from my hard work in the bronze.
I sighed thinking of that annoying manager again and opened the door. I was relieved when Spike was smiling nervously at me.
"H-hey luv…"
I noticed his nervous smile and frowned. He shrugged.
"I've got a surprise for you…"
I was about to speak up and ask him what when Cordelia came out of nowhere hugging me. I looked up at Spike still wrapped up in Cordelia and gave him a nasty look. He just shrugged, smiling a little.
'Surprise indeed…'
I slowly pulled away from Cordelia who has her eyebrow raised when she noticed my expression.
"What? Don't tell me you didn't miss me?"
I smirked then smiled at her.
"Okay…I won't tell you."
She punched my arm and walked inside with Spike following her. I closed the door and noticed her looking around.
"Geeez Faith…I didn't know you live in a dump."
I rolled my eyes looking at her.
"Hey if you don't like it…just leave okay?"
"Ooooh…touchy aren't we? I'm just kidding you know."
"Whatever…"
I looked at Spike who was sitting at the bed opening some drawers.
"Spike…where is your clothes for tonight?"
He looked at what he's wearing and I looked also. As usual he was wearing a black leather trench coat, some black pants and a black shirt underneath. If it's my first time to see him…I'd think he's some kind of a member of some cult. What kind of person would wear so many black? Though…I were some also but…at least not always. It's like that's his uniform or something…
He shrugged.
"THIS IS what I'm wearing…"
I frowned at him.
"Spike! You can't wear that in the wedding! It's a formal gathering! We're not going to a club or something!"
The moment I finished what I said I noticed him looking at something else with fear in his eyes. I slowly looked at what he's looking and saw Cordelia looking at him frowning with her arms crossed in her chest.
"You…didn't tell me that there was a wedding!!"
I looked at him looking like Cordelia might swallow him or something. Maybe she might…
"Now now Cordelia…it might've slipped my mind…"
Cordelia was slowly walking towards him.
"Slipped your mind?! How can something that big slipped your mind?!"
I looked at them for awhile, arguing . Whenever they're together they end up yelling at each other. Or rather…Cordelia end up yelling at the cowardly Spike. I sighed and tried to help Spike. I was the only one who knows how to calm Cordelia…
"Just come with us then Cordelia. I know that you don't have anything better to do than annoy people…"
Cordelia looked at me for awhile frowning. I think she's pissed off about the annoying other people thingy. But that didn't stop her from saying…
"Okay…since you insist. But we have to go to the mall for me to be able to look glamorous in the wedding…"
I knew it. She just wants to dress up and flirt with other guys. You see…she's just like me. Flirting with men for fun. Both of us have the motto: 'get some get gone.' But I sometimes have a feeling that for her it's just a way to get Spike jealous. I think she has the hots for him…
I sighed and nodded looking at her.
"Do whatever you want. We still have to buy bleach boy here some tux anyway."
Spike suddenly stood up and approached us frowning.
"There is no way you're going to make me wear a tux! No way! That's not my style!"
I rolled my eyes and glared at him.
"Oh and you think my style is to walk around in a gown that is colored…pink!"
"Well…yeah. Buffy said that you look cute in pink."
Hearing her name made my heart skip a beat. I looked at the floor feeling my face burn as I recalled what happened yesterday. I was busy with my thoughts when I heard Cordelia…
"Who's Buffy?"
I should have answered her. Instead Spike was the one who replied.
"Buffy is Faith's girlfriend. You should've seen them together. They're pretty sweet…Kinda made me look at Faith hear a little different. Who would've thought that luscious here had fallen for a girl. Especially a girl as sweet and innocent as Buffy…"
I looked at him, glaring.
"Buffy is not my girlfriend! She's just a friend!"
He just shrugged and I turned to Cordelia. She was looking like her usual self. She wasn't shocked or anything. She did grinned at me though.
"Hmmm…Looks like I've gotta meet this Buffy. She seemed…interesting…"
I looked away from them and headed towards the door, opening it.
"Whatever! Let's just go to the mall now or else we'll be late for the wedding…"
Cordelia quickly grabbed Spike who was struggling like a baby. Yup…the three kings are back together. Going shopping…I grabbed his other arm and grinned at him, remembering the time he dragged me yesterday.
"Payback's a bitch…doesn't it?"
Buffy's POV
Only an hour before the wedding. I've finished preparing with Willow's help. I looked at the mirror and looked at myself. I was wearing a pink gown just like Willow, Tara and Faith.
Faith…wearing a pink gown…
I smiled even more when I remember the time we were fitting the gown a couple of days ago. She had a pout in her lips when she saw what we were going to wear. She didn't try it on though. She said that she's going to wear it in the wedding for the first and last time. I guess she's not used to wearing that kind of color…or a dress. Though I can't wait to see her in it…
I heard Faith and Spike were now preparing in a different room an hour ago. I felt my heart beat fast when I heard her voice. I didn't go greet her though. But Willow did tell me that she was looking for me. I couldn't help but smile and feel happy when Willow told me that…she's looking for me.
I looked at myself one last time and decided to go at the garden to look at the place of the wedding. When I got there the only some guys were lifting a table were there. I guess everyone's still preparing for the wedding. It was nice seeing the decorations. It's a good thing that Mr. Giles house is so big that they planned to have the reception here also.
I noticed that Anya's bouquet of flowers were on one of the seat. I walked to the altar and picked it up, deciding to give it to Anya. I looked at it for awhile and heard the door close. I turned around to look at the person who stepped out. I think my heart was going to burst when I saw the person standing at the other end of the altar.
It was Faith…
Faith's POV
It only took me an hour to finish preparing. I left Spike and Cordelia inside the room arguing again. Spike doesn't really like the idea of wearing a tux. I too don't like the idea of wearing a gown…but you don't see me complaining right?
I was looking around trying o figure out where Buffy is. I'm not going to confront her now….I just want to know where she is. Willow said she was here since morning. I was relieved when I found that out. I was afraid she might run away again…away from me.
I didn't know why…but I went to the garden to see what it looks like. I noticed someone was there but I couldn't tell who it is because of the style of the glass of the door. It's kinda fogged up…so I just opened the door and stepped in.
The person was on the other end of the altar holding the bouquet of flowers. I thought it was Anya because of the blonde hair. But what she was wearing a gown just like mine. I closed the door and I think that captured her attention. She slowly turned around and I couldn't help but gasp at the sight.
It was Buffy…
I thought my heart was going to explode, seeing her. Her hair was up unlike mine and her make up was light. But what really captured my attention was the necklace that I gave her. It's like…I've seen her wearing that so long ago…
She looked beautiful wearing it while holding the bouquet. It's like she was the one going to get married…
So…beautiful…
We continue to stare at each other. Even though we're apart from where were standing…her hazel eyes seems to be reading mine…
I guess we were so captured at each other that we didn't notice the door open and close for Cordelia to step out. She began talking to me and well…I didn't hear her the first time. I'm still looking at the beautiful girl that's standing by the altar…
"Faith!!!"
I shook my head and looked at her.
"Uh…wh-what?"
"Geeez! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"N-nothing…it's nothing…"
I looked at the ground embarrassed by getting caught at staring at Buffy. I heard footsteps and turn to look at Cordelia who was walking towards Buffy.
"You must be Buffy…"
Buffy looked at me for a second then turn to look at Cordelia smiling.
"I'm Cordelia. I've heard so much about you from Faith here…"
"Uh…th-thank you…"
Cordelia nodded and another person stepped out. It was Xander wearing his tux. I grinned at him.
"My my…look how handsome you are…ready for the big day?"
"You betcha! It's almost time…geeez…I hope I don't mess up…"
I laid my hand on his shoulder noticing how tense he looked.
"Don't worry…you won't mess up…"
Buffy's POV
Xander and Anya's song was being played while we were walking down the aisle. I was quite nervous and well…when I was walking…I seem to notice everyone looking at me. Everyone…including Faith…
What if I never knew
What if I never found you
I'd never have this feeling in my heart
How did this come to be
I don't know how you found me
But from the moment I saw you
Deep inside my heart I knew
Baby you're my destiny
You and I were meant to be
With all my heart and soul
I give my love to have and hold
And as far as I can see
You were always meant to be my destiny
I didn't turn away from her stare. I just stared back at her trying to tell her in my eyes what I feel…
I wanted someone like you
Someone that I could hold on to
And give my love until the end of time
But forever was just a word
Something I'd only heard about But now you're always there for me
When you say forever I believe
Even when I passed by her and positioned myself next to Willow…we still kept our gaze. The only time we did look away was when it was Anya's turn to walk the aisle…with Mr. Giles beside her…
Faith's POV
It was a nice ceremony. Everything went well. And now were dancing around partying. It was a formal party though. And the music are all love songs and slow. I was dancing with Spike…Cordelia seem to have fallen for Angel and is now tugging him for a dance. Willow is dancing with…Tara…which was a surprise…though I don't think anyone minds. And Buffy…is dancing with Xander while Anya is dancing with Mr. Giles.
Everyone else seems to be having fun. I know I am…
Spike and I were joking around as we dance. He didn't notice that we were dancing beside Xander and Buffy. I did notice…coz that's were I want to be. Close to her. I kept glancing at her…and somehow…she is too.
I was surprised though when she turned to Spike smiling.
"Spike…do you mind if I dance with Faith?"
He looked at her…then back at me and I gave him my best… 'please don't leave me' look. He grinned and whispered…
"Payback's a bitch right?"
I groaned and he released me smiling at Buffy. Buffy didn't hesitate and wrapped her arms around me just like yesterday. I did the same and looked at Xander and Spike who was now looking awkward at each other for losing their dancing partners. I guess they're thinking whether or not they're supposed to dance with each other…in a slow dance. Instead Spike cleared his throat and held out his hand congratulating Xander. Xander thanked him and they stood there for awhile looking awkward. After a second of shaking hands they moved away still looking awkward.
I could have laughed right there…but I remember my situation and just swayed at the beat. I danced like a stiff board when she leaned close to me...her right cheek pressed against my left cheek. I can feel her breathing on my ear…and it's really making me tense. I tried to relax myself and just swayed to the music also listening to it...
Please, don't let this feeling end
It's everything I am,
Everything I wanna be;
I can see what's mine now
Finding out what's true,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.
Now I can take the time,
I can see my life
As it comes up shining now;
Reachin' out to touch you,
I can feel so much,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.
And now, I do believe,
That even in a storm, we'll find some light;
Knowin' you're beside me, I'm alright.
Please don't let this feelin end,
It might not come again;
And I want to remember
How it feels to touch you;
How I feel so much,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.
Reaching out to touch you,
I can feel so much,
Since I've found you
Lookin' through the eyes of love.
She pulled me closer to her again and now I really felt her lips on my ear. I almost shudder when she spoke to me so softly…
"Faith…..what does B mean?"
I don't know if it's because of the song…or because of her so close to me that I whispered back…
"…beautiful…"
I frowned but she wouldn't notice it. Actually…when I first called her that…the only meaning that B means is Buffy. Nothing else. I just wanted to annoy her…but I think it was the opposite. She annoyed me for constantly asking what it means.
I can tell that she's smiling. How? Well…call it a hunch. She slowly pulled away from me with a wide smile on her face.
"I won…"
I smiled back, not caring if she won or not. That's the last thing on my mind. I don't care anymore if I loose…especially to her...
"Yeah…I guess you did. Youhave tomake me do anything you want huh? But please nothing like being you're slave for a month or something like that. That's kinda hard…"
We still kept on swaying on the music. She looked away from me…which made me frown.
"Well…what I'm going to ask you is going to be extra hard…but I want you to do it. I beg you to do it…"
My frown was gone and I just waited for her to continue. Finally after a minute of silence, she looks at me in the eye with a determined look...and a lot of emotion in her eyes.
"Faith…I want you to…I want you to....love me…"
AN: Kinda sappy huh?