Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Carl fans, be ready to celebrate the 21st of September. David Wenham turns 39!
Gabriel fans, be ready to celebrate the 12th of October. Hugh Jackman turns 36!
I think I shall celebrate by finding very nice pictures...watching movies with them in it....ahhh...I could count the Hugh Jackman movies as research for this fic.
Chapter dedication goes to...Random-Battlecry for guessing correctly Cyclops! Runners up include Le Ragin Cajun (Scotty-boy wasn't quite enough sorry) and Risika Tziporah.
Kudos also to second runners up (lol I love doing this) are INMH and Shy-Shadow Reckless.
Erm this chapter isn't quite PG. Probably PG13. Lol. Just a few sexual references (c'mon, it's Eddie, what do you think!?).
Dear diary,
I will not be beaten by one attempt! I will try this again. Once I find my nerves.
Dear diary,
I found myself in a similar situation to yesterday's portal trip. A "hot dog stand" endeavoured to take my life again, but I was able to avoid death-by-hot-dog-stand. This reminded me of the violent previous try, but I remained true to my mission. (So there Van Helsing, I don't let my over active imagination drive me to distraction!)
I attempted asking if anyone knew a Van Helsing or Logan or Wolverine, but was met with hostility and raised eyebrows. This must be a custom of the future. What a disastrous means of communication!
I need a drink. And some female company. Depends which comes first.
Dear diary,
I managed to track down a bar. Thank god they are still called the same thing. I was unable to find a quiet corner and was forced to share space with someone else. It did not occur to me to look to closely at my new anonymous companion until he struck up conversation. Again, Van Helsing was easy to find. I was relieved that he did not appear malicious.
And I was so startled I didn't hear what he said. I asked him to repeat.
"It's sad isn't it?"
"Er, what is?"
He pointed at a crowd around the bar, composed of both men and women. I gave him my best shrug, while trying to best evaluate how to find out about his character. He snorted at my confusion,
"The dating game known as casual sex."
"Casual what?" I exclaimed.
He rolled his eyes,
"Pick a woman one night, another the next night. Where's the meaning in it?"
I had to convince myself he knew nothing about my travel to Transylvania. While trying to think of suitable topic change, I was forced to listen to an in depth life story of the man. By the end, I was sufficiently moved to add my collection of tales. I found out that his name was Eddie – after telling him my own.
"Take it from me, Carl," He advised me, "One night strands give you no meaning in life. But if it was meaning you were after, go rob a church."
I refrained from explaining that I was a friar, thank you very much. I saw him make a short waving gesture through the glass. He explained,
"See her? That's Jane, my fiancé. I'd ditch every moment of orgasmic pleasure in every life hereafter for her. Think about it."
Upon trying to follow him and ask if he'd like to be my friend, I was attacked by the merciless hot-dog-stand and knocked unconscious for some time. Dammit.
Dear diary,
I have yet to hear such good advice from my Van Helsing. Upon finding out about the barmaid, mine would not stop laughing and blackmailing me for a year. I have yet to find out his nasty little secret about his being miserable for that year after Transylvania!
Today I told Van Helsing of my wishes to take a vow of chastity. He laughed and said I was not serious. I confessed neither was I.
So I said,
"Until one who I could remain with even once I am taken into God's kingdom."
Damn Van Helsing...he can never take a SINGLE THING seriously...
Next chapter: Two disasters
(I'll give ya a hint. Singing Van Helsing ? ?)
Author hardly knows anything about the next two targets. Chaos will ensue. A very short chapter next time.
Review responses that I feel should be put here:
Princess Anna Valerious: Chapter is here for ya!
Nain: Cool. I'll see Stargate Atlantis when it views here in down under. (That guy looks cute, y'know the Atlantis version of O'Neill I think)
Spaztic Arwen: Heaven indeed!
Shy-Shadow Reckless: I dunno which episode, but it was in the days of Grant Bowler on the show. My mum flipped when she was watching the reruns and pulled out the VCR. Hehe. This is my fav part:
Grant Bowler says, "You were doing 20kms over the speed limit."
Hugh Jackman replies, "You don't have to book me. You're off duty."
And Grant Bowler grins evilly (you can tell why he hosted the Mole) "I don't," and books him anyway.
Oh and Reckless, thanks for telling me about the perm. Will come in good use next chapter.
(PS: if anyone comes out to Australia, you must watch Blue Heelers. Great show.)
PPS: Hmm...chapter dedication goes to whoever can tell me the two different names of the movie that was crossed over in this chapter.