Chapter two

Daniel finished drying the last plate and placed it back in the cupboard where it came from. Most of the breakfast he'd prepared had been thrown away but that wasn't an odd occurrence these days. He checked the time to see how long Hawkeye had been upstairs. Nearly half an hour, which was plenty of time for him to have calmed down.

Daniel made his way upstairs and knocked on Hawkeye's door. He didn't wait to be called in, he just went straight ahead. He knew how stubborn his son could be and had often used this approach with him. Knock and enter, don't wait to be invited.

Hawkeye was sat on his bed, his head down.

There was a chair in the room tucked under a desk which Daniel pulled out and sat on. He looked at his son for a few minutes. "You're going to have to start talking to me, Hawk. I just don't know what to do any more." Daniel said. Hawkeye remained where he was, not even raising his head. "I know you've been through a lot and I'm sure that I can't ever understand it because I haven't lived it like you have, but that's not to say that I don't understand you. I want to help."

"I don't think you can." Hawkeye said.

"I'm your father, it's all I want to do when I see my son is hurting is to try and help him."

"If it were only that easy. I don't want you to... to be told what type of things I saw out there and then you'll imagine it and try to feel what I felt."

"Hawk, if you can't talk to someone about this, you'll drive yourself crazy."

"And it wouldn't be the first time either." Hawkeye said.

"Please don't be flippant. I waited for so long for my son to come back home and I'm still waiting. I see his body walking through the rooms, I hear his voice but he never really did come back." Daniel moved the chair to be closer to Hawkeye.

"I'm doing the best I can, dad. I really am." Hawkeye looked at his father for the first time since he'd entered the room. "I know I keep pushing you away and I know it hurts you but I can't let you be part of what happened in Korea."

"I only know what you tell me and you don't tell me much." Daniel said. "It hurts not to know what you're going through, Hawk. I want to be part of your life and I can't."

"I know I'm making it hard..."

"Try impossible."

"Look, I just don't want you to... I don't want you to be part of it. It didn't happen to you and it's something that you can't understand. You can say that you do, but you never will." Hawkeye averted his eyes from his dad. He saw the pain etched on his face when he told him that there was a huge part of his life that he couldn't be part of.

There was a silence that filled the room. The kind where even movement seemed to be noisy. Daniel stood up and tucked the chair back under the desk. He slowly and quietly made his way to the door. He didn't look at Hawkeye again as he held the handle and pulled the door half shut on his way out. Before he disappeared completely he said to Hawkeye, "I won't disturb you any more."

TBC.

Author's note: Thanks to my reviewers for the first chapter, esp. anon who's words really moved me.