Chapter Seven

Thump, thump, thump!

"All right, you four! Wake up! It's breakfast!"

Thump, thump, thump!

"Come on, you lot! I haven't got all day! Get up!"

The four prisoners sat up slowly, groaning and rubbing the sore places where the uneven stone floor had gouged them during the night. The guard laughed.

"Yeah, that's right! Not a pleasant place, a dungeon, is it? That'll teach you to spy on our Prince and his Lady!"

The guard shoved four bowls through a small flap in the door, then turned to go. "I'll be back for those plates in an hour. If you haven't eaten every bite, me and my buddies will have to force feed you like little babies. We won't have any prisoners starving themselves in this dungeon, you hear!"

Brainy stood up shakily and squinted blindly around himself. "Could one of you please hand me my glasses?"

"Here you go," said Hefty, pressing them into his hands. He watched as the guard shook his head at them, then walked away.

"Thank you," said Brainy gratefully, slipping them on at once. "Ah, that's better. So, what did they give us to eat?"

"Uh, I'm not sure," said Clumsy, playing with his portion with a spoon. "It's kind of thin and watery, and it's got little bits of grainy stuff floating in it."

"I think it's called gruel," said Brainy, shooting a distasteful look at his own bowl. "Ugh, I can't eat this."

"Neither can I," said Hefty, looking sick.

"Do you think we could ask if they've got any smurfberries?" asked Clumsy hopefully.

"I don't think they've even heard of smurfberries," said Hefty.

"But, we have to eat it," Smurfette pointed out. "Otherwise, they'll make us eat it."

"I don't know about you," said Brainy, "but I plan to smurf out of here before it comes to that."

"But, how, Brainy?" asked Hefty. "All the ideas we smurfed up with last night are no good."

"Quiet, Smurfs," said Clumsy suddenly. "Uh, I think I hear something outside."

"Prince Theodore gave me permission last night to interview the prisoners," a silvery voice echoed from the end of the corridor. "And I told you, I would much rather do it alone! They're locked in, aren't they?"

The guard who'd given them their breakfast answered. "Erm, yes, my lady, but still-"

"I won't listen to another word. Just give me their cell number or I'll get Prince Theodore down here himself!"

The guard answered humbly. "Yes, my lady. It's number three, straight down the hall."

"Thank you!"

The Smurfs shared nervous glances as Xolynda's footsteps made their determined way toward their cell. The footfalls stopped abruptly outside their door and Lady Xolynda's beautiful face sneered in at them through the bars.

"Good morning, my little spies," she hissed. "I hope you're enjoying your breakfast. It's sure to be the last meal you ever have!"

Smurfette jumped up from the table. "What do you mean, you mean old hag!"

Xolynda stiffened. "Hag, am I? You'll pay for that, girl." She narrowed her icy blue eyes. "I can't allow all my carefully designed plans to be ruined by a troop of filthy peasants who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That's why I've convinced silly old Theodore to have you all hanged at noon, while everyone else in the kingdom will be attending our wedding ceremony!"

Her bright, tinkling laugh curdled the dank air of the dungeon. The Smurfs had never heard such an evil sound.

"You horrible old snake!" Smurfette exclaimed, hurling herself at the door. "Prince Theodore will never marry you!"

To her surprise, and to the astonishment of everyone else, as soon as Smurfette clutched at the bars, the heavy wooden door (which Prince Theodore had unlocked the previous night) swung open, whacking the startled Xolynda upside the head and flinging her against the coarse, stone wall. The four Smurfs stood stunned for a moment, staring through the open door at her unmoving form. Then, they sprang into action.

Hefty rushed to look her over. "She's going to be all right," he announced, "but she'll have a rotten headache when she wakes up."

"Quick," said Brainy. "Let's smurf her in the cell."

Hefty crouched down and lifted the unconscious Xolynda effortlessly from the ground. "Just tell me where you want me to smurf her down."

Brainy looked around. "Here, where Smurfette slept last night. The stones are smoothest here."

"All right." Hefty placed her down gently, then backed away a few paces.

Clumsy stepped forward to look at her. Then he looked up at Smurfette. His eyes widened with a sudden realization. "Oh, um, gosh, Smurfette," he said. "She looks just like you do!"

Brainy, Hefty, and Smurfette leaned in closer for a better look.

"You know," said Brainy, "Clumsy's right! How could I not have noticed this before?" He stood thoughtfully for a moment running a hand through his flaming red hair, then his pale face broke out into a huge grin. "My fellow Smurfs, I, Brainy Smurf, have just smurfed up with an absosmurfly brilliant idea!"

"Tell us what it is, already, Brainy," snapped Hefty. "Preferably before she wakes up."

Brainy shot him a haughty look. "Some Smurfs just don't appreciate genius." Hefty harumphed. Brainy continued. "My idea is this: Smurfette and Xolynda should switch places!"

"Gosh!" Clumsy exclaimed. "That is brilliant, Brainy!" He paused. "Uh, why?"

"Don't you see, Clumsy?" Brainy exclaimed. "If Smurfette pretends to be Xolynda, she can tell Theodore that we're not spies! Then, Clumsy and I can let him in on our true identities and warn Theodore about the real Xolynda's plan to kill him and take over his kingdom! In the meantime, Hefty can take Smurfette back to the village where she can rub Gourdy's gourd and undo her wish to be human before Theodore has the chance to figure out who she really is!"

Hefty looked impressed. "Wow! I have to admit it, Brainy, that does sound like a brilliant plan!"

Brainy smirked smugly.

Clumsy grinned. "Yeah! Um, what do you think, Smurfette?"

But, Smurfette didn't answer. She was looking with great astonishment at the features of the unconscious Xolynda lying stretched out before her.

"Do you three really think I look like her?" she asked in an awed voice. "She's so lovely! Evil, but lovely!"

Clumsy gave a bashful giggle. "Gosh, Smurfette. I guess she might look smurfy to a human, but you look much smurfier as a Smurf."

The other two nodded their heartfelt agreement.

Smurfette flushed happily.

"So, what do you say, Smurfette?" asked Hefty. "Will you go along with Brainy's plan and pretend to be Xolynda?"

Smurfette looked up, a familiar glint of bravery flashing in her eyes. "Yes," she said. "I will. You three have to stand outside for a moment, though, while I switch clothes with her."

"All right," said Brainy. "But, be careful! We don't want her waking up before we've had a chance to smurf our escape!"

Smurfette emerged from the cell more quickly than they had hoped. Together, they pushed the cell door closed, gratified to hear a sharp click. The door was locked once more. The wicked Lady Xolynda was trapped.

"Where do you think Theodore is now?" Hefty asked as they hurried down the corridor.

"Do any of you know what time it is?" asked Brainy.

"Um, why don't we ask the guard?" said Clumsy.

"What?" the others exclaimed. They'd completely forgotten about the guard standing watch at the corner of the row of cells.

"My lady," the stocky guard bowed to Smurfette as they approached him. Smurfette gave him an awkward smile. "If I may ask," the guard continued, straightening, "what are you doing with those three prisoners? And, how did you manage to get them out? I thought only I had the keys to these cells?"

"Well, um," said Smurfette, thinking fast, "the prince gave me a copy of the key! He told me that if I found these prisoners to be innocent of their crimes, I was to set them free and bring them to him at once so he could apologize for locking them up."

"Oh," said the guard. He seemed upset.

"Is something wrong?" asked Smurfette with concern.

"No, my lady," said the guard unhappily. "It's just that, we get so few prisoners. Setting them free is usually my job."

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Smurfette. "I didn't realize."

"It's all right, my lady. If your orders came from the prince, I don't mind."

"Well, that's very sm-" Brainy gave her a nudge with his elbow. "-I mean, nice of you."

The disguised Smurfs turned to go, but the guard had one last thing to say. "I'm sorry I won't be able to see your wedding, my lady. I'm scheduled for guard duty down here all week."

"Oh, that is too bad-" Smurfette started, but Brainy interrupted her.

"Yes, it is too bad, but you really are needed down here. Do you remember the girl we were with?"

The guard nodded. "I was just about to ask you where she was."

"She's the real spy," said Brainy. "She was already in Prince Theodore's office when we got there. She was the one who suggested we should hide behind the tapestry when Lady Xolynda and the Prince came in."

The others looked at him in astonishment. This was pretty good!

"You don't say!" said the guard with interest. "And I'd thought she was such a sweet little thing!"

Smurfette blushed again. "Yes, well, sometimes a pretty face can hide an evil mind," she said, quoting something she'd once heard Papa Smurf say. Brainy looked at her with surprise.

"That's a good point, my lady," the guard nodded. "Anything else I should know about the prisoner before you go?"

"Well," said Brainy, "she might say that she's really the Lady Xolynda and that the real Lady Xolynda here is an impostor!"

The guard's small eyes opened very wide. "The cheek of it!"

"Yeah," Hefty put in. "And, I'd be on the lookout for a snake too, if I were you. It's her pet. She calls it Nettles. We heard her talking to it in Prince Theodore's office."

"I will," said the guard. "And thank you for the advice, my lady." He bowed again.

"Oh, don't mention it!" Smurfette smiled. "We're all on the same side here!"

They turned to go. After a few paces, Smurfette turned around suddenly.

"Oh, Guard?" she called.

"Yes, my lady?"

"Would you happen to know where the prince might be right now?"

The guard looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, it's about three hours till noon. I'd say he'd be in the throne room, overseeing the arrangements for your coronation directly after the wedding ceremony."

"Thank you!" the disguised Smurfs chorused, and they hurried from the dungeon.

Prince Theodore had just left the throne room when the Smurfs arrived. The hoards of busy decorators were barely able to pause long enough to tell them in brisk, clipped tones that he'd gone to his office to see to some last minute paperwork before it was time to dress for the wedding.

Thanking the decorators just as briskly, the Smurfs raced down the corridors, Smurfette-who seemed able to recognize everything despite her drastic shift in height-leading the way.

"Hang on!" said Hefty suddenly, coming to a halt a few feet from Theodore's door.

"What?" asked his companions.

"Um, do you think we should change back into our armor before we go in there? I mean, what if he doesn't buy our story as easily as that guard did?"

Brainy and Clumsy looked at each other, both remembering the torture they'd endured trying to move in all that metal.

"No," they chorused.

Hefty nodded, not surprised. "Well, I just thought I'd suggest it. All right, let's go!"

Prince Theodore's door was open. The Smurfs could see him working at his desk, his quill wiggling furiously over the parchment. At a nudge from Hefty, Smurfette knocked softly on the open door and stepped into the room. The remaining Smurfs stayed in the corridor, out of sight. The prince looked up.

"Oh, Xolynda, my love!" he exclaimed happily, dropping his work and coming over to her. "How did the interview with the prisoners go?" He kissed her cheek. Smurfette blushed furiously. "Were they spies, as you'd feared?"

Smurfette cleared her throat and took a step back. "Um, only one of them, Theodore," she said. "The girl. The boys just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and ended up getting arrested with her."

"Really?" said Theodore curiously. "What was she doing?"

"Would you believe it," Smurfette exclaimed, "she was planning to take my place?" Theodore gasped. "It's true," Smurfette went on. "Even now, if you go down to the dungeons, she'll tell you she's really Xolynda. She has this pet snake, Nettles, and she planned to first get me out of the way, then marry you and, on the wedding night, she was planning to have Nettles bite you! Then, she would be the sole ruler of your kingdom! The three boys, um-" she racked her brains trying to remember the names they'd made up for themselves when they were pretending to be knights, "-Brian, Harold and, um, Clement, told me everything!"

"And how did they know," asked the prince suspiciously.

"Because the false Xolynda told us all her plans. You know how bad guys love to brag. She couldn't help herself," said Hefty, entering the room. He was followed closely by Clumsy-who just managed to save himself from tripping over Theodore's carpet by grabbing onto the door frame-and Brainy, who was standing with his chest puffed out and his glasses shining, pompous as ever.

Theodore smiled. "Then that means I owe you three an apology," he said humbly. He brightened suddenly. "And, a medal!"

"A medal!" the Smurfs chorused in surprise.

"Yes! For heroic services rendered to your prince and his lady." He favored them with a broad grin. Then, he turned to Smurfette.

"Now, my lady, you must go dress for the ceremony." She turned an anxious look to her fellow Smurfs. Theodore noticed and laughed. "Oh, don't worry about them! I'll make sure they have three of the best seats to watch the wedding! Go on now!" He kissed her hand, then closed the door behind her, leaving himself alone with the three Smurfs.

"Now, my friends," he said, striding back to his desk and sifting through drawers. "I meant to ask you a few questions myself last night, but I was distracted."

He found what he was looking for, pulling out three stiff pieces of parchment and a fistful of blue and red ribbons. As he closed the drawer, he sat down behind his desk.

"Please," he said to his uncertain guests. "Take a seat."

The three disguised Smurfs sat in the comfortable plush chairs Theodore had arranged before his desk.

"Gee," Clumsy whispered to Brainy, who was sitting next to him. "I sure wish we had chairs like these back in the village!"

"Now," said Theodore leaning forward, suddenly serious. "Who are you, really?"

The Smurfs looked at each other, surprised. They thought they'd been doing so well!

"Um, what do you mean, your highness?" asked Brainy with a sad attempt at a confident smile.

Theodore leaned back in his chair with a sigh. "Well, to tell you the truth I'm not really sure myself. It's just that you three remind me very strongly of some good friends of mine, and I couldn't help wondering if..." He trailed off, the shook his head. "No, it's silly. You couldn't be them." He reached over his desk and grabbed his copy of the first volume of Brainy Smurf's Bedtime Stories. Brainy twitched uncomfortably in his chair as Theodore looked first to the picture on the cover, then to him, then back to the picture. He shook his head.

"No, this is ridiculous," he said, sliding the tiny book back into place beside its fellows. The three Smurfs breathed a collective sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, my friends," Theodore smiled. He spread out the thick squares of parchment on his desk and took up his quill.

"Now, what did you say your name was?" he asked pleasantly. The Smurfs looked at each other, unsure which of them he meant. "You, with the red hair and the glasses."

"Oh," said Brainy. "Um, Brian."

Theodore nodded and started scribbling. "Brian what?"

Brainy was confused. "What do you mean?"

"Your surname, man! What is it?"

Brainy felt as if his stomach had fallen back down to the dungeons. "Er, um..."

"Come on," said the prince kindly. "This is a certificate of award! I'm not going to send any of you back down to the dungeons. Not after you discovered the impostor's plan and helped save my fiancée and my kingdom."

"Erm, um, Smu-I mean, Smith!" Brainy exclaimed at last.

"Very good," said Theodore, scribbling some more. "Brian Smith. Here you are!" He handed him the square of parchment along with one of the colored ribbons he'd placed on his desk. A small metal disk was attached to the end of each ribbon. They were intricately engraved with pictures of a crown and a sword. The words Favorites of the Crown encircled the pictures.

"Now, you're officially named as one of the protectors of my kingdom," he smiled. Brainy blushed. "Gee, thanks."

The prince then went through the same procedure with the other two. "Clement Smith. Oh, so you two must be brothers! Harold Smith. You three, I mean." Once he'd handed out all the parchments and medals, Prince Theodore motioned for them all to stand.

"Congratulations," he grinned, shaking them each by the hand. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must start getting ready for my wedding! I certainly wouldn't want to be late!"

The Smurfs looked anxiously at each other. How could they let him know that the wedding was off and the bride was locked in the dungeon without the risk of crushing his good spirits?

"We have to tell him," Hefty whispered to the others. "We can't let him go on thinking Smurfette's really Xolynda. It's just wrong, for both of them!"

"But how?" asked Clumsy. "He's so excited!"

Brainy hung his head sadly. "We'll just have to tell him the straight truth. All of it, no matter how it makes him feel. It's the only way."

Hefty and Clumsy nodded dejectedly. "You do it, Brainy," said Hefty. "After all, speeches are your forte, aren't they?"

Brainy shot him a scathing look, then turned to the prince, who was just opening the door.

"Um, your highness?" he called out hesitantly.

Theodore turned. "Yes, Brian?"

Brainy swallowed, then took a deep breath. "Um, it's not Brian, Prince Theodore. You were right the first time, when you looked at my book. My name's Brainy. Brainy Smurf."